Chapter one

And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay
Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need but I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable

Bella's POV

Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.

BANG!

"Crap!" I muttered to myself as I bent down to pick up the pot I dropped on the floor. I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs so I knew that I had woken my dad up.

"Hey Bells, is everything okay?" He asked as he let out a yawn. "Everything is fine dad. Go back to bed, it's only four. I said quietly as I half filled the pot with water and brought it over the the stove carefully. The last thing I needed was to spill hot water on my feet. "Bella, you look exhausted. When was the last time you slept?" I sighed, becoming a bit irritated. I know he means well, but I can do this on my won.

I have to.

"Dad, really, I am fine." He came over and held my hands down so I couldn't move. "Bella let me give Bentley his bottle. You have school in the morning and the last thing I need is to get a phone call saying that you keep falling asleep in class."I knew he was right. Bentley is my four month old son, and as much as I loved him. It was hard work, especially doing it on my own and I did need some rest for school. I handed my dad the bottle, giving in and going up stairs to my room. "I love you, Isabella." I heard my dad whisper, with a hint of sadness in his voice. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to get my emotions under control and went up to my room and plopped down on my bed. I knew the whole point of this was for me to get some rest for school, but I had too much on my mind. Today was my first day at Forks high school and my first day away from my baby boy. I knew if I wanted to have a good job that I could support Bentley with, I'd need to go to school.

Only one year left.

"Come one Bells, time to get up. You need to get Bentley to the daycare in an hour then get to school." I listened to my dad banging on the other side of the door, but I never opened my eyes or acknowledged him. Instead, I laid there and thought about a life where everything was perfect. A life where I was beautiful and not the plane boring girl I was now. There's nothing special about me. I have plain long brown hair and muddy brown eyes. I'm skinning, but not sports player skinny. More like I haven't ate in a week skinny. I guess that made since that last time I ate was, well, about a week ago. I think a few days ago I ate half a piece of toast, but I threw it back up later that night.

In my mind I would picture myself as outgoing and popular, and not the shy outcast that I was. And last, I would picture myself in love. I would imagine myself, sitting in a beautiful meadow pilled with all different kinds of wild flowers in every color, sitting on a blanket with the love of my life at my side. There's nothing more in this life that I want more than love. Someone to be there for me, to love me, and care for me, but also for Bentley. But reality has a way of screwing up the life I've got and the one I want. The one I long for.

I rolled out of bed and threw on my normal outfit. Jeans, a tank top, and an over sized sweater. As I was walking around my room, gathering the things I would need for the day, I noticed my pants kept falling down. I could have sworn that just a few weeks ago these pants were nice and snug. I grabbed my belt of the back of my computer chair and went across the hall to Bentley's room. He was just stirring awake as I approached his crib. "Hey baby." I said with a smile as I picked him up in my arms and hugged him close. He's absolutely everything to me.

"Have a good day at school, Bells." My dad said as he kissed my forehead. Right now I was standing at the front door with Bentley, leaving for his first day at day care. "I love you, little man." He said and kissed his cheek. "Bye dad."

After a little struggle with the stupid car seat we were finally on our way to the one day care in this dainty town. Don't get me wrong, I like Forks and all. It's just a bit small, and wet.

I easily found the day care and brought my sleeping Bentley in.

"Hi, you must be Isabella, I'm Angela." How I hated my full name. "Just Bella." I told her. "And this is my son, Bentley." She crouched down in front of him and smiled. "So handsome. Have a good day, Bella." I nodded. "Thank you. I'll be back at three forty five."

After giving him a few kisses I left and headed for Fork's high school. I ended up getting there a bit late because I was at the day care longer than I attended to be. The school parking lot was filled with cars but luckily, I found a spot next to a shiny silver Volvo. It made my old, rusted, red truck look like trash next to it. I took one final deep breath, put on my fake smile, the one that I used so often it almost looked real, and jumped out of the cab of the thing. That was the name I came up with for my truck. I practically ran to the school so I could get out of the rain and made my way to the office.

"Hello, can I help you?" the older lady sitting behind the huge receptionist's desk asked in a cheery tone. Was everyone in the town happy? No, the answer was no. I wasn't. "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan, I'm new." Her eyes widened and then she started digging through the stack of papers on her desk and passed me a few. "Here's a map of the school, some rules and guidelines, and your schedule. I hope you have a good first day. Come back if you need anything." I thanked her and left the small and cheery office. I went off to find my locker so I could ditch all my unneeded books and wet coat. But of course, luck wasn't on my side. My locker ended up being on the bottom floor at the very end of a long hallway. And, to top it all off, I couldn't get the stupid thing open so I ended up dropping my books all over the floor. "You've got to be kidding." I muttered to myself as I bent down to pick them up. As I stood back up, I noticed a girl standing there with a smile on my face. I jumped and nearly dropped my books again. "Hi!" the tiny girl said. "Hi." I said back, confused. This girl was short, shorter than my five foot four and had inky black hair that was spiked out in every direction. She also had the brightest green eyes I've ever seen. "I'm Alice Cullen." She stated. "Um, I'm Bella Swan." "I know that silly. Here," She said as she walked up to my locker and hit it. "All it needs is a little tap. I had this one last year." She leaned casually against the row of lockers as I put my stuff away. "You know, you're really pretty. You shouldn't wear such baggy clothes." I stared at her in shock. I was just about to reply when the bell rang. "Sorry, I have to go. See you later?" She asked. "Sure." She smiled wider and danced off humming to herself.

What just happened?

I hurried off to first class and sat in the back row so I could be away from everyone. The next three classes went the same way, I would ignore everybody and they would return the favor and ignore me too.

Finally, not a minute to late, the lunch bell rang. I was walking down the long hallway to my locker so I could ditch my books then go eat my lunch in my truck, by myself. Just the way I liked it. But as I got closer to my locker I could see a tiny person with black hair leaning against it. "Hi, Bella." She said as she moved out of my way so I could get into it. "Hi, Alice." "So, I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me and my friends?" I closed my locker door and turned to face her. "I don't know Alice." "Please!" She begged as she looked at me with pleading eyes. Why does she want me to have lunch with her and her friends? Can't she see how different I am from her? "Fine." I sighed. "Yay!" She squealed as she clapped her hands together and jumped up and down. She grabbed my hand and started dragging me toward the cafeteria. She pulled me to a table in the middle of the room with four other people sitting at it. "Everyone, this is Bella." Everyone looked at me. The whole room was staring at us. "Bella, this is my boyfriend, Jasper." She said as she leaned over to a guy beside her and kissed his cheek. He was tall and lanky. He had bright blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. "It's nice to meet you, Bella." He said in a southern accent. "It's nice to meet you too." I said shyly. "That's his sister Rosalie and her boyfriend, and my brother, Emmett. "She pointed across the table to a tall, burley guy. He had dimples, short, brown, curly hair, and brown eyes. But he was huge. He kind of scared me. "Hiya Bella!" He said a bit too loudly with a huge grin on his face. "Ow!" He complained as the girl known as Rosalie slapped the back of his head. "You're going to scare her, Emmett." She said. She looked over to me and my jaw dropped. She was beautiful. Just looking at her made me feel like a piece of dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. She had long blonde hair that hung in lose curls down her back, and the same bright blue eyes as her brother. She had the body of a super model. A body that every girl would be jealous of. "Hi Bella." She said with a smile. "Hi." I said back and quickly looked away from her and to the guy beside her. The last person to be introduced. He had his head laying on the table. "Edward!" Alice hissed as she threw a carrot at his head. He jumped up and looked around. "What the hell Alice?" He asked her in an angry tone as he rubbed his hands over his face. "I want you to meet my new friend, Bella." He instantly stopped rubbing his face and looked up at me. I gasped. This boy, no man, was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. He was stunning. He had bronzeish, reddish, brown hair that was sticking up in every direction. He was muscular, but not as big as Emmett. He was tall, and had the same bright green eyes as his sister, only his seemed deeper, not as cheery as Alice's. He noticed me gawking at him and smirked. "Hi Bella. I'm Edward, Alice's cooler brother." I heard Emmett fake cough and Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever Edward. So Bella, how are you liking Forks? I reluctantly looked away from Edward and gave Alice my attention.

All lunch Alice fired questions at me, and eventually, everyone else would say something too. Except for Edward. For once in a long time I was smiling, a real smile. That was until the bell rang and I had to leave my new friends and go to class.

I walked into biology and went to the only empty table I could find. At least I wouldn't have to sit with anyone. The final bell rang and in walked Edward. I quickly looked down at the table top and practiced my breathing. Why did this boy affect me so much?

I heard the chair pull out noisily from beside me and looked over and noticed it was Edward. "Like what you see?" He asked with the same smirk on his face that he had at lunch. So I see what kind of guy he is. I straightened up and looked him in the eyes. "Not really." I said, smirking back and then looked to the front of the room as the teacher started his lesson. We didn't speak to each other again all class.

At the end of the day I ran into Alice and Jasper on my way to my truck. "Alice, can I ask you something?" She smiled at me as Jasper twirled her around. "What's the deal with Edward?" I asked. She stopped twirling and her face became serious. "Where would you like me to begin?" She asked. "Well I have him in my biology class and he seems a bit, conceded." "HA!" She laughed. "More like a lot." She sighed. "But it's all a show. It's not the real Edward." Her face became sad, so I decided to drop the subject. Really, it wasn't any of my business anyway. "Oh, well I really need to go. I'll see you tomorrow" Her face lit back up and she started to twirl again. "Bye Bella."

I jumped into my truck and headed down the highway to the daycare.

To reality.

Hi to whoever decides to read this. This is my first story and I hope its okay. I know it's only the first chapter, but I'm working on it. I already started chapter two. But I would like some reviews before I but that one up. Thank you! xoxo