"Steve Gets Married"
By; Cryiinq Duckie
Author's Note; I was reading the silly little stories everyone has in the Blue's Clues section and I've decided to add my two cents. I'm not a normal "silly/disturbing" author, but I am a disturbing person and am trying my best. If it totally sucks, not my fault.I'm a Buffy writer. Sorry.
Steve sat on the Thinking Chair depressed. He was lonely. Cartoon characters weren't that much company after a while and if he sat on a piece of furniture for too long, it would complain. Suddenly, Mailbox popped through the window. "STEVE! STEVE! YOU GOT A PIECE OF HEAVY MAIL!" The door- thing on the mailbox opened up to reveal a catalog. "YAY! It's here!" Steve exclaimed gleefully. He pulled the catalog out and Mailbox looked at him confused. "What the hell is that?" Steve smiled widely. "It's a catalog for a wife. I just place my order and they ship her to me. No shipping and handling costs either! How neat-o is that?" Mailbox just nodded at Steve and left him alone to do whatever he was going to do.
Steve began to flip through the pages until he found the woman of his dreams. She was big, chunky and had a mustache! He tried to read to find out her..ho..beings. But.since Steve was home-schooled after being released from the hospital, he didn't know how to read. "BLUE! COME READ TO ME!" Blue ran up to Steve and sat next to him. "Ra, ruh ruh ruh.ruh ruh ruh RUHH!" This continued on for some time.
Steve smiled after Blue was finished. "Thanks buddy." Blue rolled her eyes and ran off. Steve picked up the phone and called, placing his order for his new wife.
4-6 WEEKS LATER:
Steve sat on the floor, waiting for his new wife to show up. The marriage certificate came free! He heard Mailbox trying to get in the window. "What's wrong Mailbox?" "Well Steve.your um..wife, is here, can't get through." Steve jumped up and ran outside to see his bride. A chunky man with dark hair and an orange shirt jumped off Mailbox. "Hi there Steve! I'm your wife, Joe." Steve giggled in delight and hugged Joe. "I'm married!"
Epilogue: Only a few short weeks after Joe came into Steve's life, the two were divorced and Joe sued for everything. That included: the house, the dog, all the objects inside the home, and the TV show. Joe wanted Steve to go to college to learn how to read because Steve got the Husband catalog instead of the wife one. Now, Joe hosts the show as "Steve's Brother" since Nick Jr. didn't want to have to explain homosexuality late at night with Linda Ellerbee again. Also, Joe had to shave off his mustache because it was too "manly" for Nick Jr. They wanted a boyish figure for the show. Steve is know being home-schooled college and is recovering nicely after getting beat up by his professors.
Author's Note; I was reading the silly little stories everyone has in the Blue's Clues section and I've decided to add my two cents. I'm not a normal "silly/disturbing" author, but I am a disturbing person and am trying my best. If it totally sucks, not my fault.I'm a Buffy writer. Sorry.
Steve sat on the Thinking Chair depressed. He was lonely. Cartoon characters weren't that much company after a while and if he sat on a piece of furniture for too long, it would complain. Suddenly, Mailbox popped through the window. "STEVE! STEVE! YOU GOT A PIECE OF HEAVY MAIL!" The door- thing on the mailbox opened up to reveal a catalog. "YAY! It's here!" Steve exclaimed gleefully. He pulled the catalog out and Mailbox looked at him confused. "What the hell is that?" Steve smiled widely. "It's a catalog for a wife. I just place my order and they ship her to me. No shipping and handling costs either! How neat-o is that?" Mailbox just nodded at Steve and left him alone to do whatever he was going to do.
Steve began to flip through the pages until he found the woman of his dreams. She was big, chunky and had a mustache! He tried to read to find out her..ho..beings. But.since Steve was home-schooled after being released from the hospital, he didn't know how to read. "BLUE! COME READ TO ME!" Blue ran up to Steve and sat next to him. "Ra, ruh ruh ruh.ruh ruh ruh RUHH!" This continued on for some time.
Steve smiled after Blue was finished. "Thanks buddy." Blue rolled her eyes and ran off. Steve picked up the phone and called, placing his order for his new wife.
4-6 WEEKS LATER:
Steve sat on the floor, waiting for his new wife to show up. The marriage certificate came free! He heard Mailbox trying to get in the window. "What's wrong Mailbox?" "Well Steve.your um..wife, is here, can't get through." Steve jumped up and ran outside to see his bride. A chunky man with dark hair and an orange shirt jumped off Mailbox. "Hi there Steve! I'm your wife, Joe." Steve giggled in delight and hugged Joe. "I'm married!"
Epilogue: Only a few short weeks after Joe came into Steve's life, the two were divorced and Joe sued for everything. That included: the house, the dog, all the objects inside the home, and the TV show. Joe wanted Steve to go to college to learn how to read because Steve got the Husband catalog instead of the wife one. Now, Joe hosts the show as "Steve's Brother" since Nick Jr. didn't want to have to explain homosexuality late at night with Linda Ellerbee again. Also, Joe had to shave off his mustache because it was too "manly" for Nick Jr. They wanted a boyish figure for the show. Steve is know being home-schooled college and is recovering nicely after getting beat up by his professors.
