Hi, I'm Cali! XD

Die: I don't know why I bothered to be here.

Bakura: You and me both.

Die: KURA! *glomps*

Bakura: AH! GET IT OFF ME!

Cali: Nah... I'm enjoying your pain.

Bakura: *glare*

Cali: So anyway, this is a co-written story between me (Cali OzeraKaulitz) and Die, who, as you know, is currently glomping an unwelcoming Baku. :D

Melvin: Neither of these two idiot writers own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Bakura: HELP ME, MELVIN!

Melvin: Nah, I'm good. Black Die bribed me with a new chainsaw if I didn't interfere.

Cali: That's a fantastic idea... Hmm... so anyway, hope you enjoy the prologue! :D


Prologue

"My Pharaoh! The thief is attacking!" The servant raced down the hall, followed by the Pharaoh's daughter Akila.

"We will receive the shipment of bedroom slaves-" Pharaoh Atem spoke to the Roman ambassador Aurora, stopping mid-sentence when he realize his attention was being solicited by someone else.

"Father!" Akila's voice filled the chamber as panicked as her tear-filled eyes. "The thief is coming! He bears evidence of a traitor. Someone close to you, my Pharaoh. The ultimate betrayal!"

The proud man rose to his feet. "Priest Seth has finally recruited those rebels he always threatened to? I knew I should've had him flayed for his insolence years ago!"

For a moment, her tears froze and she stared at him blankly. "Wha-? N-No. I… where did that come from?"

Silence filled the room as the great Pharaoh fidgeted. "I'll tell you later, when you're married." A light blush appeared on his face as he averted his gaze. "Has Jono come out of the linen closet then?"

She giggled. "No Father, he has not admitted his… preference yet."

"With the way Seth makes him scream, it is no wonder the entire palace does not know," he muttered to himself.

"Not to intrude, Pharaoh Atem," Aurora murmured, her light copper hair gleaming in the bright Egyptian sun, "but why not send your great Champion forth to vanquish the threat?"

Akila paled. "That… may be a problem."

"… Please tell me my friend is not screwing Seth in the hot springs again."

The Pharaoh's daughter blushed bright pink, stammering out, "N-No. No, thank Ra. And why didn't you- Oh whatever. Fell is the traitor. Your champion has betrayed you."

"Impossible," he breathed, eyes wide. "The thief has killed so many, Fell would never side with such a psychopath!"

"But he has," she replied, fitfully tugging on her necklace.

"NO!" he yelled, anger in his gaze as the Eye of Horus on his Puzzle gleamed. "He would not violate his oath without reason!"


Black and white slowly separated, certain strands refusing to separate quite yet. A craze grin greeted shining mahogany eyes. "And what was that for, slave?" he asked teasingly, "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

Another crazed smile met him as the two turned back towards the palace. "Luck."


The girl flinched back from her father's anger. "I'm sure he had reason," she stuttered fearfully.

"What could it have been?"

"Lady Aphrodite often brings Lord Ares to kingdoms' doorsteps," Aurora offered. "Either way, it is not my wish to interfere with the gods, so if you would excuse me."

The blood drained from Pharaoh Atem's face. "Oh Ra," he breathed. "Fell was in the theif's dungeon only a moon earlier."

"I fear they're coming close." She got to the point. "What's the strategy?"

"Fetch Seth and Jono. Fell is mine." I owe him that dignity at the very least.

"Yes Father." She slipped out of the chambers, racing down the halls to locate the priests, hoping to Ra that they weren't in bed.


Kisara met Akila at the door of Priest Seth, no surprise given that she was his wife. She gave the younger girl a light smile. "What may I do for you, Akila?"

"I need to speak to your husband and Jono. We're under attack!"

She bowed slightly. "I can relay the message to Seth, and I do believe Jono is at the Temple."

Akila sighed. "My Father requests Seth's assistance immediately. He must come as soon as he is prepared unless he wishes to assist us in our doomsday." She ran a hand through her raven hair, tousling it slightly. "Please relay that to him instantly while I retrieve Jono…" She couldn't hope to hold back the small groan that followed her sentence.

She nodded. "Of course. Jono may be a little difficult to retrieve, however, since he is in communion with our Lord Osiris."

The young girl shook her head, "I'll figure something out. I just hope he values his life more than his communion…"


A slender hand told his companion to remain where he was in the enchanted tunnel he'd summoned from Anubis, that slender body sliding from the passage and into the temple of Osiris. Akefia pouted at the command but held still, recognizing that a thief worked better alone than with a partner when it came to stealth and subterfuge, no matter how good his partner may have been. The man with the jade eyes paused in an alcove, his sword sliding from its sheath as he smirked at the sight before him. The Pharaoh and the High Priest were both fond of the Golden Priest, so what better way to dishearten them than to kill the blond? Stealing close on silent boots, a gift from his patron god, he slipped his blade seamlessly into Jono's unsuspecting back, severing his spinal column and piercing his lungs easily. Wrenching the metal back, he took a quick step back to avoid the guts and crimson spilling forth. His head shot up at the sounds coming from the corridor to the main temple, so he stole back to the tunnel and Akefia, wary of looking too closely at Lord Osiris's gaze. Waiting was never a bad thing when you were a thief, provided you could be quiet and still, two things the pair had much practice in.


Akila was suddenly struck by the severity of the mistake her Father had made in not providing her a weapon of defense. But, nonetheless, he had sent her away with a directive and she was nothing if not obedient. She fled down the halls, hoping above all else that she wouldn't run into the thieves before retrieving Jono. She'd much rather face Jono's perverted innuendos and idiocy than die before retrieving him. If it was the last thing she did, she refused to disappoint her Father.

"Miss Akila!" a young slave cried, the small child looking up at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes she'd seen in a long time. "Miss Akila! I can't wake up Jono!"

Her eyes snapped wide open. "Oh gods no!" She knelt down to the child's height and set a hand on his shoulder. "Go hide, child!" The little boy nodded, wide eyes full of panic. As soon as she assured he was running away, she raced towards the Temple and Jono.

Akefia smirked, recognizing the girl as the Pharaoh's beloved daughter. He leaned forward from the little pocket of space they'd been allotted by the grace of Anubis and scooped her up easily. "Hey Fell," he drawled, putting his free hand on his hip as he lifted her up with the crook of his elbow, "how much do you think the Pharaoh would give for this little bird?"

Akila was terrified but held herself as high as she could in her situation. She leveled a glare at Fell. "Traitor." She spat at his feet.

He didn't react at all to her statement, closing his eyes and leaning his head to the side, baring his neck and letting his long black hair fall from where it concealed his ear, where a silver Eye of Horus glinted as his earring. "The strings holding the Ma'at are particularly thin here, Akefia, and the spirits already riled by the smell of the blood I have already spilled. I would not condone any more bloodshed here, otherwise there's no telling what kind of bloodthirsty spirits we may stir up."

Akefia chuckled, shaking his head of messy white hair. "You say that as if I don't see such spirits on a daily basis."

"Ah yes," Fell replied. "I had forgotten that you bear the burdens of Kul Elna."

The girl glanced from one of her captors, to the other, confusion evident on her face.

A strange dragon appeared on Fell's shoulder, something that looked suspiciously like the small version of well renowned Rainbow Dragon he liked to duel with, only this one had shadows around it. He reached out to scratch it on the head, jade eyes thoughtful. "I guess I'll take care of Priest Seth. After all, if he figures out that we're here, I'm the only one who can properly defend against his magic."

Akefia nodded. "Fine, and as we agreed, the Pharaoh is mine. But what do we do about this?" he asked, pointedly hefting Akila a foot or so higher.

She choked as his arm lifted, clawing at his arm in an attempt to relinquish his grip around her throat. As his arm lowered a bit, she let out a small sigh of relief

Fell seriously seemed to consider the question for a moment before he murmured the words to a spell, golden chains wrapping around her wrists and ankles. "I suppose I can use her to retrieve Seth. He always was rather fond of the girl anyway."

She gave him a disbelieving look. "Have you even paid attention to him? He likes me about as much as anyone who chooses to remain abstinent."

"He acted the same way towards me until he caught me and your father doing it behind his throne when you were three."

She flinched. "Ew! I did NOT need that mental image, and besides, is that supposed to mean he likes me?"

He shrugged, yanking on the leash he'd just fabricated for himself. "Don't know, don't care. If it's any consolation, he's a good fuck."

"Really? How the bloody HELL is that supposed to console me?" She glowered at him. "But really, what are you going to do with me?"

"Use you as bait and dump your dead body in the gutter, princess."

Strangely, he frowned after that, throwing a heated glare over his shoulder at what seemed to be nothing. "I thought you said your bloodlust was only for the one who made you like this, Spirit."

He shuddered, his voice turning cold and cruel. "She carries his blood, thus she is fair game. Everyone else simply got in my way."

Akila, fully aware of Fell's condition, eyed him curiously. "Who are you, Spirit? Why do you wish harm on my father?"

A harsh yank on the leash had her stumbling to the floor. "Do not question me, princess. Who I am is of no concern to you." He stopped before the door, turning burning red eyes on her. "Now get that dumbass priest out here or I'll gut you with my knife and let you die slowly holding your intestines in your hands."

Her eyes widened, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She struggled to fight them back, wiping them away from her cheeks. She approached the doors to his chambers. "S…Seth! Get out here, you lazy ass ho!"

"… Do you really want me coming out there without any pants on?"

Despite the severity of the situation she was in, she couldn't help but groan. "Y'know, I think I've walked in on you and… a lot of people enough times to be able to handle it for a second."

"… Did you say something about the Pharaoh wanting to see me immediately?"

Fell's body pulled a wickedly curved knife from his belt, trailing the edge along his tongue as if to lap up the blood it had once been bathed in and ignoring the crimson that was now trailing across the pink, over the steel, and dripping down onto the stone floor.

"Yes." She called back, hating herself for luring someone that—if she was brutally honest with herself—she genuinely cared about into the hands of death. Or a death wishing spirit.

"So shouldn't I handle your father's request first?"

Fell's body pulled the knife from his lips, both sides of the steel now covered in flaky crimson-brown. "Last chance, princess," he hissed, red eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Ra damn you, Seth! Put on a damn pair of pants and get your lazy ass out here! Lives depend on it!" She screeched. Namely mine…

"… No thanks, I'm good. I don't want to die today."

"So you'll have me die instead? You selfish bastard!" She screamed, glowering at the door so intensely that her eyes began to hurt.

"Time to die, princess," the spirit hissed, throwing his knife at the wall and catching a hand against the stone.

Kisara let out a scream of terror and pain. "Seth!"

"Kisara!" the brunet yelled, throwing open the door to meet another knife in his shoulder.

"Foolish mortals," Fell laughed, throwing his head back and revealing his twin silver earrings. "You're all just as stupid as the day your hatred created me."

Tears openly flowed down the young girl's cheeks and she cried out. "No! Please, just kill me already! I can't bear this!"

He didn't even look over at her to pin her side to the wall. "Shut your mouth. Your whining annoys me after a thousand years or so."

"Wait!" Seth yelled. "I'll take you on in a Shadow Duel!"

Fell yawned. "I have been around for far many more lifetimes than you have, but if you insist." The shadows cast by the torches grew, snaking around him, caressing him like a lover. "If you wish to duel me, then pick your monster and I'll pick mine."

"Blue Eyes, come to me!" he shouted, but the spirit merely burst out into condescending laughter.

"Oh Rainbow Dark Dragon, destroy this mockery before I fall apart."

"NO!" he yelled as the spiritual dragon fell to pieces, along with his dear wife. "Kisara!"

"And so the curtain falls on you," the spirit stated, letting the shadows spring on them and devour their souls.

His body lurched, hand flying shakily to his sword and drawing it from its sheath. "Forgive me, my Pharaoh," Fell said, his left eye gleaming a bright emerald as his right flamed vermilion. "I never knew the survivor of your father's mistake would hold the demon Zorc in his clutches." Letting go of his control, he let gravity bring the blade down and cut his marionette strings as he fell to the ground beside the friends he had betrayed.


All had come to nigh, Pharaoh Atem realized as he stared into the furious eyes of the Thief King who held a dagger to his throat. Closing his eyes with a final parting wish that Akila managed to escape the palace, he activated his shadow magic to seal himself and his enemy away inside of the Millennium Items on their chests. I forgive you, my friend, for it was your sacrifice that killed the demon king himself.


Melvin: *is happily petting new chainsaw*

Die: *grumble* You're welcome.

Akila: Heey! Why'd I have to die?

Cali: To get the story going...

Akila: And why is my dad so damn gay?

Cali: The whole court's gay, curtesy of Die.

Die: *is busy reading Conspireshipping fic*

Cali: ...Except you... but you don't really get a relationship, either...

Akila: What? Why?

Cali: Your hikari does instead...

Fell: Hey, at least you don't kill yourself. Or get screwed by your own father...

Akila: O.O I won't get screwed by my own father, will I?

Cali: *glances at Die* Dunno yet.

Die: *is reading random threesomes with Seto and Yami*

Cali: *eyeroll* So anyway, since Die's distracted, I guess it's up to me, Baku, Melvin, Fell, and Akila to ask you to review. Guys?

Akila: Please don't encourage them!

Cali: *smack*

Akila: Ow!

Bakura and Melvin: *go off to random closet and toss out random bra and Yami who'd been in there*

Yami: Hi there.

Cali: This place is going to hell so I'll just say it. Please review! We will reward you with cookies or chainsaws, whichever is more apreciated. Say goodbye, Yami and Fell.

*silence*

Cali: You're both going to rot in hell. So ANYWAY, bye and thanks for reading! *smile*

*throne falls on head*

Cali: DAMN YOU! QUIT SCREWING BEHIND THE THRONE!