Thoughts
Thoughts of a guardian
Thoughts of a thief
Thoughts of an angel
Thoughts of the devil
Thoughts of a man
Thoughts of a child
Thoughts of the weak
Thoughts of the strong
Thoughts of the wounded
Thoughts of those of health
Thoughts from those pure of heart
Thoughts of the corrupted
Thoughts of the living
Thoughts of the dead
Thoughts of a leader
Thoughts of a follower
Thoughts of a phoenix
Thoughts of a HIwatari
Kai, Hiwatari.
He looked over the edge, stared at the waves crashing below him. His scarf whipped in the wind and as he spread his arms out, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. How he longed to be free sometimes. People said when you jumped it felt like you were flying until you hit the ground. There were so many times when he had thought of that option when it came to escaping, that and many more but he had constantly punished himself for even considering those options. He wasn't weak. He had told himself that so many times and look where he was now. Still, there was always that voice that would speak up. 'Who are you trying to convince? You? Not weak? Ha!' after hearing it so many times he had learnt to ignore but there were always times where it was so strong, daring him, pushing him, urging him to take the plunge. Take the plunge. Oh how he would love to…
Their voices rang through the silence, calling his name.
His eyes snapped open, revealing crimson orbs once again. Quickly trying to draw his foot back in, he grabbed for the railing behind him, getting a firm grip on it just before he fell.
He let out a gasp as his weight and the force wrenched on his arms. His back slammed against the cliff face, knocking the breath out of him.
He hung there trying to retrieve his breath. He heard the footsteps of the others, heard them calling, yelling, begging, and demanding. But his mind was else where; their voices were just an irritating sound in the background. His head was swimming and a buzzing sound filled his ears.
'Wh-what just happened? Did I…? I didn't did I…?' thoughts continued racing but they were soon all pushed away as he felt firm grips on his wrists. His head flew back so that he could see what was going on, his skull colliding nastily with the rocks.
Stormy blue irises caught his own eyes and the owner sent a reassuring smile. Refusing to meet the owners gaze any longer, he brought his head back down again, guilt flooding through him. The water continued swirling below him, waves crashing against jagged rocks and suddenly he was grateful. Grateful for them, grateful for her, grateful for life and his thumping heart, his racing pulse. They were all signals that he was alive. His breath hitched, his pulse picked up even more. His breaths came in short gasps, his eyes had widened, pupils dilated. He was going into shock, a panic attack. He felt himself tremble, then start shaking. As everything started spinning and the world turned upside down, his vision blackening, her musical voice was the only thing he heard, her voice crying at him, telling him that all would be ok.
Trying to fight off the darkness, he heard their voices as well, asking if he was ok, telling him it would be ok, that they would get him up safely, that they were gong to help him, but the darkness won and his body shut down. The shaking ceased, his pulse slowed down and he began breathing normally. But he was totally unaware of the fact that his symptoms had returned to normal because in the world he was in, nothing mattered, everything just went past unnoticed, just like him…
'They always say it's going to be ok... but it never is...'
yes unfortunately this is terribly short but it is just the prologue and the other chapters will be longer. i promise! updates could be difficult cos i have a terribly stuffed up pc and internet (i'm posting this at a friends thats how bad it is) damn bloody thing but anyway... yes so let me know what u think! please please PLEASE!
bye!
kavbj
