Date: 6 September, 2003
Disclaimer: Ah, the tedious disclaimers...you'd think, wouldn't you, that if I owned InuYasha, I wouldn't have to write fanfics. Alas, no, I do not own the feudal fairytale that many of us love. That privilege belongs to none other than Rumiko Takahashi. Consider this applicable to all future chapters!
A/N: Okay, first I'd like to explain a few things about who I am and why I'm writing this. I'm primarily a Harry Potter fan, but everytime I try to write a fic, I want to make it good and long. Because of this, I've yet to finish any of them. By mere chance, I accidentally caught an episode of InuYasha on Adult Swim exactly...two nights ago. My friends have all tried to introduce me to it, but I never found it particularly addicting. I'd even watched the first few episodes of the anime when it began to air on Cartoon Network, but it just didn't fascinate me. Yet, all of a sudden, I'm practically obsessed! The main plot line doesn't interest me, I don't "oh my gosh, absolutely love" Kagome and InuYasha and all the gang, in fact, I don't particularly like any of them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them or anything, they're just not my favorite characters. But from the start, everytime an InuYasha manga would be given to me, I'd only been interested in one character. Leave it to me to choose one of the most hated characters (oh, wait till you hear what I think about that...) in the series, Lady Kikyou. Since seeing that episode last Wednesday, my days have been consumed by the desire to know everything I could about her. And the more I read, the more shrines I visited, the more my heart broke. This immeasurable heaviness has been following me around ever since, choosing to settle in my heart and radiate through my bones, making me thoroughly depressed. Her story is so tragic, and all of those "Kikyou-haters" are now going to know exactly what I think about all of this. So, if you're "anti-Kikyou" then I suggest you stop reading this before you prove yourself to be as stupid as I find all of you, because if you weren't stupid, then you wouldn't be reading a story that is clearly about Kikyou for the sole purpose of flaming me, like you do all of my beloved shrine-owners. If you don't like her, why are you even here? Duh. Common sense. However, if you're open minded enough to try and understand the most misunderstood character in the series, then I will try to educate you on her and help you to comprehend just how wonderful she is. I don't claim to be any sort of expert on anything involving InuYasha, as I've only just started getting into it, but I believe I've amassed enough knowledge about Kikyou and her story to help people look at her from a different point of view other than "I hate her, she keeps breaking up Kagome and InuYasha" and other similar opinions. Who knows? Maybe you'll leave here today being endeared to her, or at the very least understanding why she is who she is. Just bear in mind that this isn't my actual story (though this author's note is rather long, sorry about that), the story will come later. I'm writing all this in an attempt to purge this deep sadness from me, let's just hope it works. This is my first attempt at explaining her story, so bear with me.
Kikyou was a miko (priestess) in a small village with only her little sister Kaede as family. Nothing much is said about her parents or why she was there, though it has been speculated that when her strong spiritual powers were discovered, she was sent to that village to apprentice to be a priestess. An ancient tribe that was protecting the Shikon no Tama (Jewel of Four Souls) had heard of her great powers and purity and asked her to guard the jewel and purify it. Though she knew that the task would be very difficult, she accepted the responsibilty, because she knew that she was the only one who could do it. She had no idea at the time how much of a burden the Shikon would be. Numerous amounts of youkai (demons) and greedy humans came after her to get their hands on the jewel to serve their own selfish purposes. She defeated them all easily, as she could sense them when they approached, so all she needed to do was shoot an arrow at them. Though her triumph over these monsters came easily to her, the protection of the jewel still took its toll. She couldn't show any emotion for fear that the youkai would use it against her, and because of this she was very lonely inside. The weight of the world was put upon her shoulders, but she still defended the jewel because it was for the eventual good of the world. She sacrificed the hope of a happy, carefree life in order to be able to give that gift to others.
A hanyou (half demon) named InuYasha had wanted the jewel as well, hoping to use the Shikon to make him a full demon. He was being ridiculed for being only half demon, having a human mother. He eventually traced the jewel to the village Kikyou was living in, and he began to follow her around in hopes of being able to steal it from her. InuYasha watched her closely, learning everything about her in order to find a weakness. Kikyou, of course, sensed him from the start, and towards the beginning of his quest, she pinned him to a tree by his clothes many times. She could've killed him like she did so many others, but she sensed something else other than the desire for the jewel in his essence. She sensed something similar, identical to the feeling she felt in her heart every moment of every day. She sensed his loneliness. So, Kikyou spared him every time. As time went by, InuYasha found himself caring less about the jewel. He didn't understand why; the desire to follow Kikyou was still there, and yet he didn't want the jewel. It didn't make sense to him. But, he continued following her. One day, Kikyou was sitting on a hillside alone, taking a well deserved break from the village work. She sensed InuYasha watching her, as she always did. His essence was becoming a part of her everyday life, and she sensed his essence as long as she sensed her own. It seemed that he was always around her. The desire for the jewel was getting weaker, she could feel it, and curious as to why he continued to follow her even though he didn't want the jewel as much, she spoke to him. The first real words she'd ever said to him were said on that hillside underneath the bright summer sky so many years ago. It was there, in his hiding place among the trees, that he actually heard her voice addressing him. Not talking to the townspeople or the children that followed her, but him, InuYasha, the hanyou. Kikyou was inviting InuYasha to sit next to her. Tense and reluctant at first, InuYasha slowly made his way over to the place where Kikyou was. Little did he know that he would come to love those moments with her, and eagerly await the time when Kikyou rested from her duties as shrine maiden.
As time passed, the two fell in love. Both denied it at first, as both had good reason to. InuYasha couldn't fall for a human, especially a miko who guarded the Shikon no Tama. That was far beneath him. And Kikyou couldn't show love for him for fear of the youkai finding out and using it against her. She didn't want a fate like that of the original creator of the jewel, Midoriko. Besides, how could she be sure that it wasn't a trick created by the hanyou to get the jewel? She had her responsibilites, always to be a miko first and a human second. Yet, despite all of their reasons not to fall in love, we all know that love is an emotion that will not be denied. No longer able to fight it, Kikyou and InuYasha told one another their feelings. Finally, finally the feelings of loneliness evaporated from their auras. Kikyou had someone to share things with, to show emotion to, to let into her heart. And InuYasha had a friend. A real friend who didn't make fun of him for being a half breed. There was someone here who wanted him, when so many before had abandoned him and even been ashamed of knowing him. But most importantly, they both had someone to love them. They were finally whole. They spent happy moments together, their love becoming more and more of a necessity rather than desire. Without the other, the day simply was not right. However, their small doubts remained in their hearts. Those doubts would be their downfall.
(Okay, this is the part I know least about, so sorry in advance for getting things wrong and leaving stuff out!) Kikyou had cared for an injured thief named Onigumo. Onigumo had suffered severe burns, and we later find out that he tricked his companion into trying to steal the Shikon and his partner had gotten an arrow in his right eye as a result. Angry at Onigumo for deceiving him, he set him on fire and left him for dead. Kikyou found him and moved him to a cave. He was beyond help, but she tried to sustain his life as long as she could. When the time came for him to die, he told the demons around him that he would give them his flesh to feast on in exchange for their mobility. And thus, Naraku was created. Because Onigumo died loving Kikyou, so Naraku felt as well. He wanted to corrupt the jewel and have it for his own. All he needed to do was touch it and it would be corrupted, but instead he tried to kill two birds with one stone and turn InuYasha and Kikyou against one another.
Sometime during their days together, Kikyou had asked InuYasha to become human for her. If they used the Shikon to make him a full human, then the jewel would be purified and Kikyou would be free of her duties, free to be not a miko, but a woman. Then they could live together. InuYasha surprisingly agreed. So, they said that the next day, at dawn, Kikyou would meet him and they would make their wish.
When the time came, Kikyou went to meet her love. She saw him waiting for her in the shadows, and she made as if to embrace him when he suddenly attacked her, slashing her shoulder and part of her chest. Surprised and wounded, Kikyou lay face down on the ground. She had dropped the Shikon in her fall, and as she reached out to grab it, she saw a familiar bare foot come down heavily on her hand. Without ceremony, InuYasha took the jewel and left.
Meanwhile, InuYasha was waiting for Kikyou in the spot that they had designated the night before. He smelled her familiar scent before he saw her coming, and he barely got her name past his lips before an arrow shot towards him, barely missing. He dodged the arrows fired by Kikyou, all the while feeling deeply betrayed. He had allowed himself to love her, and she had gotten the best of him. Enraged, he headed towards the village, wreaking havoc on it in his rage. He took the Shikon Jewel from it's place in the temple and fled.
Kikyou, though wounded, went after InuYasha, her bow and arrow in hand. The sight of her village burning met her eyes, and the screams "InuYasha! It was InuYasha!" pierced through the calm of the forest. She turned back, heading towards the heart of the forest, rage filling her every being, as well as a feeling of betrayal. She caught InuYasha fleeing from the scene, the tell-tale glimmer of Shikon peeking out through his fingers. It was then that she made her decision. The decision that shaped her fate, all in a matter of seconds. She shot her arrow and this time she actually intended to hit him. How strange it must've felt actually aiming at him, him who she'd always pin to a tree but never actually harm. But harm him she did, her miko duties to her people and the Jewel resuming their rightful place on her list of priorities. The jewel dropped from his hand as his body went limp, him muttering her name before he fell into his slumber that Kikyou took to be death. Close to death as well, Kikyou's last words were directed to her sister Kaede, telling her to burn her remains with the Jewel. And that was the end, so they thought.
Naraku's plan didn't quite work out, as he had expected Kikyou to use the Shikon to save her own life, which would've corrupted it. Then Naraku could have Kikyou and the Jewel. But now the jewel was out of his reach. Kikyou chose to die with InuYasha because despite the knowledge that he betrayed her, she still loved him with all of her heart and she hoped to meet him in the afterlife, where they could love one another forever.
It would be some fifty years later that a hag named Urasue would bring Kikyou back, hoping to have the miko retrieve the Shikon shards for her. She made a mixture of clay, bone, and Kikyou's ashes, then sculpted it into a body. She was dismayed to find that Kikyou was just a lifeless shell, but as luck would have it, the 'gang' was nearby, searching for the one who stole Kikyou's ashes. Urasue found Kagome to be Kikyou's reincarnation, and proceeded to take her soul. Kikyou came out into the open wearing her miko outfit, still somewhat lifeless. InuYasha rushed in after Kagome, and was shocked to see Kikyou. A voice called to him, Kikyou's voice, telling him not to call her name. But he did, and Kagome's soul went into Kikyou. She killed Urasue, then asked InuYasha why he betrayed her, and InuYasha was clearly stunned. Hadn't it been she who was the traitor? But Kagome's body began to call the soul back into her, and Kikyou fled with only a small fraction of it held inside her by her hate of InuYasha.
InuYasha went after her, and saw her fall from a ledge in her haste to leave. He caught her, but she refused his help. She shocked him with an electrical charge and supposedly fell to her death. She survived, though, kept alive by the intense hatred she felt for InuYasha.
Now she wanders the earth aimlessly, wanting very few things, but very large things. She later learned of Naraku's trick and was intent to see him go to Hell, and she swore that she would not give InuYasha's life to anyone because it belonged to her. So, she is here to protect him, watch over him, make sure that no one kills him because it is her right. One can never fully grasp the torture she faces now, everyday being reminded that she's been replaced by her reincarnation in InuYasha's arms. Hell is so lonely, and her heart aches to have him there with her, so that she could love him forever. But he denies her, all for that girl, Kagome. She struggles to live, though all she wants is to die, because of her obligation to InuYasha. She feeds off the souls of the dead, feeling guilty about it, but willing to go through it for him. And all the while, InuYasha continues to love another. How frustrating it must be for her to know that things could've turned out differently. That he did love her, that he didn't betray her, that they could've been happy together. Yet, all she can do to retrieve a past where she was happy is help villages with her miko powers, perhaps pretending that it is her village, and that they are her people. Until the day came when she could finally send Naraku to Hell and rest somewhat peacefully.
So, I hope that gives you a little more insight into the tragic story of Kikyou. Like I said before, many of the people who hate Kikyou wield what I like to call "blind hate", meaning that they don't really have a reason to hate her, they just automatically hate her because she is Kagome's rival. So many terms come to mind when I think of the sheer stupidity of that reasoning, the most prominent being 'pathetic'. Consider this little article my attempt to help cease the pathetic-ness.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you leave this chapter (hopefully to go on to the next!):
1.) I'm not out to offend anyone here, I'm simply trying to help people understand the true depths of Kikyou's character. So, I won't apologize for offending anyone because if anyone was offended, it's their own fault. You shouldn't be reading stuff like this in the first place if your mind is so closed to understanding things that are unknown to you. If I get flames, then I'll just laugh ardently at the thought of someone going to all the trouble of reading the summary of my story, seeing it clearly feature Kikyou, clicking on the title, skimming through the story, then flaming me for writing a story about Kikyou. How sad...
2.) I will apologize for the seemingly flat description style that I displayed here. Explaining the whole story was kinda tedious, though necessary. It's really cold and rainy...I can't help but be kinda boring...But not to worry! The rest is far more exciting, I swear! Oh, and I also apologize for my excessive use of commas. It's a bad habit, I know...
3.) Okay, from the whole Onigumo section on is something that I wrote today (September 10) because I'm ready to post my story, but I hadn't finished this little article, and this is the first part to the whole thing. So, after this I'm going to continue working on the chapter titled "Envy's Double Edge". No idea why you'd want to know any of that...but oh well! Great episode tonight for Kikyou lovers, though tomorrow's will definitely leave the Kikyou/InuYasha fans miffed. Ah well, I'm trying really hard to not root for Kikyou and InuYasha to get together. It'll never happen, so I'm trying (in vain) to accept it.
4.) Again, in no way does this mean that I have anything against Kagome fans! Kagome's not my favorite character, but neither is anyone else besides Kikyou! Yet, Rin is really cool, I love her! So, she's my second favorite. Anyway, back to the point. I don't have any problems whatsoever with Kagome fans, to each his own, I suppose, it's just the Kikyou haters I don't like. So, please don't be mad at me, Kagome fans, I love you! Well, some of you. To the rest of you that I don't like: Feh. Just who that is, I won't say, but assume that it's not you.
Erm...I think that's everything. If I've forgotten something, I'll just add it in later! So, go on to the next chapter, Chapter 1, Forsaken and Fine! Till next time!
