Hello, Ginny!
A/N: Hello! ::bows politely:: I'm Aeterna, a music nut and Harry Potter fan. I was just recently in the pit for my school's production of Hello, Dolly! and I figured that I could make a spoof of Hello Dolly! involving our favorite HP characters! For those of you who are familiar to the musical (or even if you've never seen it before), I have a few pointers ...
1.) The characters (in order of importance) are as follows ...
Ginny Weasley = Dolly Gallagher Levi
Draco Malfoy = Horace Vandergelder
Ron Weasley = Cornelius Hackl
Hermione Granger = Irene Molloy
Neville Longbottom = Barnaby Tucker
Eloise Midgeon = Minnie Fay
Ermengarde will be Draco's daughter (with his deceased wife) instead of his niece seeing that Draco doesn't have any siblings.
Ambrose Kemper will be a dashing young muggle artist who has stolen Ermengarde's heart (eat your heart out, Draco!).
!!CHANGE!! I made a little change. Before, Ginny was Ginny Weasley Levi because I didn't know what to call her, but now I've decided that I'd rather have her be Ginny Weasley Potter, for obvious reasons. Hermione is still Hermione Granger Molloy because she still has yet to marry Ron.
2.) The chapters will be named after Hello, Dolly! songs, but, for instance, instead of the prologue title 'Call On Dolly', it will be 'Call On Ginny'. On the other hand, whenever I quote songs from the musical in the text, the original characters' names will be used because it would seem quite absurd if I put:
Out there ...
There's a world outside of Ottery St. Catchpole.
Way out there beyond this hick-town, Neville ...
That wouldn't work very well, now would it?
3.) I'm not actually much of a Draco/Ginny fan, but I couldn't have Harry try to be Vandergelder, now could I?
Well that seems to be all the pointers you'll need ... at least for now.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Hello, Dolly!, but I love both of them. Can you blame me for wanting to write about them?
Prologue: Call On Ginny
~~*~*~~
Call on Dolly.
She's the one the spinsters recommend.
Just name the kind of man your sister wants
And she'll snatch him up.
Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts
And she'll match 'em up!
Call on Dolly!
If your eldest daughter needs a friend.
~~*~*~~
"Ambrose Kemper! Just the man I wanted to see!" Ginny said excitedly as she raced over to the dashing young muggle and shook his hand and handed him a business card at the same moment.
"Ginny Potter ..." Ambrose read the business card aloud, "muggle matchmaker miracle worker?"
"I do assume young Ermengarde has told you ...?" Ginny inquired, purposefully leaving the question unfinished.
"That she's a witch?"
"Precisely." Ginny took Ambrose's hand and pulled him to a nearby bench. "There's only one problem, Mr. Kemper."
"And what's that?" Ambrose asked as he sat down, seeming extremely confused.
"Her father, Mr. Draco Malfoy, the well-known half-millionaire ..." she paused for a good effect, "isn't too fond of muggles."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Potter," Ambrose said very politely, "but what exactly is a muggle?"
"Why you are a muggle, Mr. Kemper!" Ginny said with an air of knowledge, "That's what us witches and wizards call those of you who don't know magic."
"Oh."
"But don't worry, Mr. Kemper, I have the entire situation under control. You see, I am currently ..." she paused as if searching for a word, "engaged to find Mr. Malfoy a new wife, and with any luck, my operation will be so successful, that he may even be obliged to dance at your wedding."
"Will he, now?"
"Of course."
"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Potter, but I have a few commitments that I must see to." Ambrose said, getting up from the bench, "I hope to see you later?"
"Yes, of course, Mr. Kemper!" Ginny said, also rising from her seat, "I have my own duties to attend to."
~~*~*~~
I have always been a woman who arranges things.
It's my duty to assist the Lord above.
I have always been a woman who arranges things
Like lunceon parties, poker games, and love.
~~*~*~~
"Well, Harry," Ginny said to her late husband, as she was in the habit of doing lately, "I've found myself a new husband. I'm going to marry Draco Malfoy ... for his money, of course. It won't be love like you and I had, but it will be something. With my newfound privelage as the wife of the first citizen of Ottery St. Catchpole, I'll send his money circulating the village like rainwater, just like you taught me. And I can help him to love me. I know I can." She stopped and looked around for a second. "I just need a sign, Harry. I need a sign that you approve of this marriage."
She waited for a few seconds and sighed.
"Maybe later?" she asked the thin air hopefully. After a glance around to make sure nobody was watching, she apparated home.
~~*~*~~
Continued in Chapter One: It Takes a Woman.
A/N: Hello! ::bows politely:: I'm Aeterna, a music nut and Harry Potter fan. I was just recently in the pit for my school's production of Hello, Dolly! and I figured that I could make a spoof of Hello Dolly! involving our favorite HP characters! For those of you who are familiar to the musical (or even if you've never seen it before), I have a few pointers ...
1.) The characters (in order of importance) are as follows ...
Ginny Weasley = Dolly Gallagher Levi
Draco Malfoy = Horace Vandergelder
Ron Weasley = Cornelius Hackl
Hermione Granger = Irene Molloy
Neville Longbottom = Barnaby Tucker
Eloise Midgeon = Minnie Fay
Ermengarde will be Draco's daughter (with his deceased wife) instead of his niece seeing that Draco doesn't have any siblings.
Ambrose Kemper will be a dashing young muggle artist who has stolen Ermengarde's heart (eat your heart out, Draco!).
!!CHANGE!! I made a little change. Before, Ginny was Ginny Weasley Levi because I didn't know what to call her, but now I've decided that I'd rather have her be Ginny Weasley Potter, for obvious reasons. Hermione is still Hermione Granger Molloy because she still has yet to marry Ron.
2.) The chapters will be named after Hello, Dolly! songs, but, for instance, instead of the prologue title 'Call On Dolly', it will be 'Call On Ginny'. On the other hand, whenever I quote songs from the musical in the text, the original characters' names will be used because it would seem quite absurd if I put:
Out there ...
There's a world outside of Ottery St. Catchpole.
Way out there beyond this hick-town, Neville ...
That wouldn't work very well, now would it?
3.) I'm not actually much of a Draco/Ginny fan, but I couldn't have Harry try to be Vandergelder, now could I?
Well that seems to be all the pointers you'll need ... at least for now.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Hello, Dolly!, but I love both of them. Can you blame me for wanting to write about them?
Prologue: Call On Ginny
~~*~*~~
Call on Dolly.
She's the one the spinsters recommend.
Just name the kind of man your sister wants
And she'll snatch him up.
Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts
And she'll match 'em up!
Call on Dolly!
If your eldest daughter needs a friend.
~~*~*~~
"Ambrose Kemper! Just the man I wanted to see!" Ginny said excitedly as she raced over to the dashing young muggle and shook his hand and handed him a business card at the same moment.
"Ginny Potter ..." Ambrose read the business card aloud, "muggle matchmaker miracle worker?"
"I do assume young Ermengarde has told you ...?" Ginny inquired, purposefully leaving the question unfinished.
"That she's a witch?"
"Precisely." Ginny took Ambrose's hand and pulled him to a nearby bench. "There's only one problem, Mr. Kemper."
"And what's that?" Ambrose asked as he sat down, seeming extremely confused.
"Her father, Mr. Draco Malfoy, the well-known half-millionaire ..." she paused for a good effect, "isn't too fond of muggles."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Potter," Ambrose said very politely, "but what exactly is a muggle?"
"Why you are a muggle, Mr. Kemper!" Ginny said with an air of knowledge, "That's what us witches and wizards call those of you who don't know magic."
"Oh."
"But don't worry, Mr. Kemper, I have the entire situation under control. You see, I am currently ..." she paused as if searching for a word, "engaged to find Mr. Malfoy a new wife, and with any luck, my operation will be so successful, that he may even be obliged to dance at your wedding."
"Will he, now?"
"Of course."
"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Potter, but I have a few commitments that I must see to." Ambrose said, getting up from the bench, "I hope to see you later?"
"Yes, of course, Mr. Kemper!" Ginny said, also rising from her seat, "I have my own duties to attend to."
~~*~*~~
I have always been a woman who arranges things.
It's my duty to assist the Lord above.
I have always been a woman who arranges things
Like lunceon parties, poker games, and love.
~~*~*~~
"Well, Harry," Ginny said to her late husband, as she was in the habit of doing lately, "I've found myself a new husband. I'm going to marry Draco Malfoy ... for his money, of course. It won't be love like you and I had, but it will be something. With my newfound privelage as the wife of the first citizen of Ottery St. Catchpole, I'll send his money circulating the village like rainwater, just like you taught me. And I can help him to love me. I know I can." She stopped and looked around for a second. "I just need a sign, Harry. I need a sign that you approve of this marriage."
She waited for a few seconds and sighed.
"Maybe later?" she asked the thin air hopefully. After a glance around to make sure nobody was watching, she apparated home.
~~*~*~~
Continued in Chapter One: It Takes a Woman.
