A/N: So, uh, this might not be what you expect but. Here it is.
It all started with a drink of water.
Sometimes you just had those nights where you woke up and couldn't fall back asleep all because your throat feels as dry as the sahara desert in the middle of the worst drought it's had in decades. Tonight had decided to be one of those nights, and Lance couldn't be more irritated as he dragged himself from his nice, warm bed to wander down the dark halls of the castle that he swore to high heaven was definitely haunted and no one could tell him otherwise. Allura's excuse of her father's programming going haywire just didn't cut it for ihm.
As he drew near the kitchen, he heard rustling in it and instantly stiffened. The logical side of his mind told him that it was obviously Hunk getting something to eat because he was always hungry, or maybe Pidge wanting a late night snack after staying up to ungodly hours to tinker around. The illogical side immediately went to ghost.
He debated turning around, but he felt like his throat would dry up and wither away if he didn't get something to drink within the next two minutes, so he mustered his courage and poked his head in.
There, in the darkness of the room and illuminated by the faint light of what he had always assumed to be an Altean refrigerator, was Keith. The noirette turned to stare at him blankly for a few seconds before his face narrowed into a scowl and he quickly turned back to whatever he was doing.
Normally Lance would just leave; he was tired, thirsty, and not really up for Keith being all angsty and emo towards him, but something made him stop.
"Why are you still up?" He asked, knowing he would probably regret questioning the red paladin.
"Is that any of your business?" Keith snapped back, and though he tried to make his voice sharp, it was clearly laden with exhaustion. Lance's brow furrowed in worry. He wanted to just go, Keith obviously wasn't in the mood to talk, but the big brother in him refused to let that happen and was instead screaming at him to question further.
"Well seeing as we're both part of the same team, I'd say it is." Press the issue it is, he decided as the words left his mouth. "At least a little bit, y'know?"
Keith glared at him for a few seconds before slamming the fridge shut. Lance flinched just the slightest bit but held his ground underneath the icy gaze, and when it was clear he wasn't giving up, Keith sighed and turned away.
"...I can't sleep."
Lance's eyes widen in surprise that he even got a response. "Huh?" he says lamely and curses his own inability to speak when Keith shot him another quick glare. His embarrassment must've shown on his face because the red paladin's face softened just a bit before Keith turned towards one of the cabinets and opened it, rummaging inside.
"I said I can't sleep," he repeated as he grabbed a glass from inside it and filled it up with water from the sink. "Here."
"How'd you know I was thirsty?" Lance said in surprise.
Keith smirked at him. "I don't know, maybe because your voice sounds like literal gravel and rocks grinding together."
Okay, so maybe Keith had been laughing at his voice rather than Lance's embarrassment. Either way, it had gotten a straight answer out of the boy and that was more than enough for Lance. Let him laugh for once.
"I'm not surprised," Lance replied after he had chugged the entire glass. "It felt like I was dying. But enough about me, let's talk you. Or more specifically, why you can't sleep."
"Wow, never thought I'd hear those words leave your mouth," Keith responded snidely, clearly not wanting to have this discussion, but he could tell by Lance's face that he wasn't getting out of it that easily.
"Look, it's just stress, alright? Nothing to be worried about, just go back to sleep." Keith had turned away from him slightly and crossed his arms over his chest, avoiding all eye contact.
"And what about you?" When Keith looked at him in confusion, Lance elaborated with "When will you go to sleep?"
"Soon," Keith lied and if Lance hadn't grown up with five siblings, he wouldn't have been able to tell. But he did, so he could.
"Bet you thought that would fool me, huh?" He couldn't help but smirk when Keith's face twitched ever so slightly. "Nice try, but you aren't the best liar out there, Keith."
"Whatever." The red paladin's defenses were back up and Lance didn't like that one bit. "Just go back to bed, Lance. It won't affect my performance as part of Voltron, so-"
"Do you wanna sleep with me?"
Keith looked at him like he had grown not just one more head, but seven, and that all of them had just puked everywhere in the kitchen. It was that kind of disgusted confusion.
"I-I meant platonically!" Lance cried, his face turning as red as Keith's armor. "Whenever my siblings would get worried or anxious, they'd sleep next to me in bed! I didn't mean anything weird by it, honest!"
Keith continued to just stare at him in an utterly unreadable expression.
Lance wanted to just disappear.
"Look, it was a dumb suggestion, just ignore me, okay?" He scratched the back of his neck, trying to avoid looking at Keith. "I must be more tired than I thought. I-I'll just head to bed and-"
"Okay."
Now it was Lance's turn to stare blankly at Keith.
"I said okay," Keith repeated, his violet eyes locked onto Lance. "If you think it'll help, that is."
"...You must really be on the end of your rope if you're actually listening to me."
"I'll admit that it's worse than in the past but that's all." Keith looked like he might've been blushing just the tiniest bit but Lance didn't really pay all that much attention. It was a rare occurrence for the red paladin to do anything but argue with him, and the fact that he was actually allowing Lance to possibly help him made the brunette incredibly happy - for some reason. He wasn't quite sure why though.
"Let's go then," Lance said, grabbing Keith's wrist and leading him down the hall. He thought he felt Keith's skin heat up underneath his hand but he didn't think much of it.
…
"So… feel any better?"
"I feel like a piece of meat wedged into a sandwich that's too full."
Keith was squished between Lance and the wall and the brunette refused to scoot over too far or else he'd fall off the bed. They had both severely underestimated how wide the beds in the castle were and how lanky and gangly they both were and that did not make a good combination. It didn't help that they both were trying to lie on their backs side by side.
"Not much we can do about that," Lance answered, still trying to figure out where to place his hands.
"Let's just do this." Before Lance could really say anything, Keith had rolled over onto his side, arm coming to rest across Lance's stomach as he scooted back towards the wall.
When Lance tried to reply, an awkward squeaking noise was all that came out because this felt far too much like how a couple would lay for him to feel any comfort. Then he heard a quiet sigh from Keith and glanced down to see the red paladin looking up at him.
"I hate to say it but… this feels nice," he murmured quietly, eyes flitting away from Lance's the second they made contact.
That sentence alone made any discomfort Lance had worth it. Besides, Keith wasn't the worst person to be doing this with, he was surprisingly war and not bad to look at and-
Waitwaitwait, what was he thinking?! Lance groaned to himself, which was hard to do because he didn't want to bother Keith.
The shorter boy's breathing had slowed, and Lance wondered if he was asleep. He was silent for a few minutes, doing his best to remain still and also find out if Keith was sleeping. Finally he couldn't take this awkward refusal to sleep, resolving to try his hardest to sleep. But first, he needed to know.
"Keith, are you able to sleep?" He asked, his voice quiet enough that it wouldn't wake Keith up if he was.
"...No," came the soft reply and Lance frowned.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"No, it's just… I don't know, it's too quiet. If that makes sense." Keith sounded frustrated and Lance realized it had probably really had been awhile since he last slept. He wasn't sure if what he planned to do next would help, but he tried anyway.
"Estrellita, ¿dónde estás? Quiero verte cintilar."
"What are you doing." Keith's voice was more of a statement than a question and for a second, Lance was worried he'd messed up. Then he saw the surprise on the boy's face, mixed with another emotion he couldn't recognize and realized that maybe he hadn't.
"I'm singing to you. Duh."
"Why?"
"Because," he replied. "It's what I did for my younger siblings. They'd always be able to fall asleep when I sang 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' to them. I could sing it in english too, but spanish is easier." He was quiet for a few seconds before he asked "Do you want me to stop?"
"...No, you can keep going."
Lance was surprised at Keith's answer but he did as he was told.
"Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?
Quiero verte cintilar
en el cielo, sobre el mar.
Un diamante de verdad.
Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?
Quiero verte cintilar."
He did this a few times, taking a short break in between each verse so his throat wouldn't get sore and bring him back to square one. By the end of the fifth round, when he asked Keith if he was still awake, all he heard in response were soft snores. Satisfied with himself, the blue paladin settled back into his bed.
"Good night, Keith," he whispered fondly.
And when Lance put his arm around Keith's shoulders so he too could fall asleep, he didn't feel awkward at all.
…
"No."
The voice echoed around the room. It was filled with people but no one spoke, even dared to breathe, the normally happy atmosphere replaced with one so grave that it would silence even the densest of people.
"No, you have to be joking." It repeated. The slight crack at the word 'joke' was heartbreaking for everyone there, the speaker included.
Keith stood in the corner of the room, a terrified look on his face. None of the other paladins had seen this expression before, one that was so full of despair and loss that it felt like just looking at it would make you cry.
Shiro and Allura exchanged uneasy glances, their faces equally grim, before Shiro stepped forward, resting his hand on Keith's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Keith. There was nothing we could do about it." The silence that this statement was met with was not what Keith wanted to hear at all, but when he looked at the others, no one would meet his eyes.
"He never told any of us, not even after the battle." Hunk whispered quietly, tears welling up in his brown eyes. "We all thought he was fine. He told me he was."
"And you listened?!" Keith couldn't help but scream, his foot slamming down onto the floor as he took a step forward.
"Why would he lie!" Pidge cried suddenly, her face contorted into one of simultaneous anger and sadness. "Why would he do this?!"
Her voice broke and Hunk quickly grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the room before she could say anything else. Keith could hear their sobs echoing down the hallway as they both retreated, and even though he knew that Hunk was trying to keep him from hearing that, it made it all the more worse.
"It's not your fault, Keith." Shiro spoke again and Keith turned numbly to look at him, his eyes near lifeless. The black paladin swallowed hard before he continued. "You were with the Blade, there was no way to know. We didn't tell you because we couldn't. But know that even if you were there, things wouldn't have changed, Lance would still have-"
"Get out."
"What? But Keith-"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Shiro looked like he was about to say something else but when Allura rested her hand on his shoulder, he allowed the princess to guide him out of the room. The door slowly fell shut, leaving Keith alone in the room. Alone with Lance.
The red paladin was still for the longest time, for what felt like years. Then he took a step. Then another. And another. It was like moving through molasses, so impossibly hard to do, just so, so, so heavy. But he had to get there. He had to get to the table.
His eyes scanned Lance's body atop it, so perfectly still and peaceful that it almost seemed like he was asleep. If it wasn't for the gaping hole on the side of his chest.
According to Shiro, it had happened during the last fight with the Galra. Blue had been hit with one of the ship's lasers, but Lance had sworn it was fine. That he was fine. None of the other paladins had suspected him; after all, he wouldn't lie to them. They were family. By the time they all got back to the ship, it was too late. When Lance had failed to regroup for the meeting, Shiro had gone into his lion to get him. How he found him was how Keith was seeing him now- already dead.
"What the fuck."
It was more of a statement of wonder than anger, irritation, sadness, or anything else. Keith couldn't believe this. It couldn't be possible. After all, he had been lying next to Lance in bed just twenty four hours ago.
Lance had let him keep joining him in bed after that night a few weeks ago, and Keith couldn't have been more happy. After all, he-
"Lance. Wake up."
It was a futile wish, Keith knew that. He wasn't stupid. He knew that Shiro was right, that it was far too late to do anything, but still he blamed himself. If only he had been there. If only he had chosen Voltron over the Blade of Marmora. Lance had told him once about a week ago that if Keith felt stronger with the Blade, then he should stay with them. Lance had promised him that he'd always be a part of the Voltron family. Lance had said that if he still couldn't sleep even with the Blade, then he could sleep with him. Lance had even sworn that he'd come hang out with Keith whenever. Lance had said that Keith was family. Lance. Lancelancelancelance-
"Lance." The word was spat out through bitter tears that Keith hadn't even realized he was crying until he heard the way his voice choked up.
He reached down and took the blue paladin's hand in his own. The flesh was icy cold, no trace of the warmth that had enveloped him hours ago.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star."
It was cheesy, but it was all Keith could think to do.
"How I wonder what you are?"
Somehow, that line struck close to home. Keith was slowly starting to realize that even though Lance had listened to all of Keith's problems, he had never voiced his own. And the red paladin had never thought to ask.
"Up above the world so high.
Like a diamond in the sky."
Keith's dad had once told him that his mom became a star in the sky when she passed away. He had pointed to one in particular and told Keith to look at that one whenever he felt lonely because she'd be there, smiling down at him. Keith wondered if that was what Lance was doing right now.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star."
The next words weren't part of the song, but Keith felt the need to do it. He had waited too long and it was too late now, but he would never be able to rest if he didn't say this. He probably wouldn't be able to sleep again anyway. There was just no way, now that Lance was gone. Now that there was no warmth to soothe him. Now that he'd never wake up in those arms again.
"Do you know you stole my heart?"
Now that he was alone.
