Notes: Batman is not owned and created by me. This story is dedicated to Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Adam West, and all of the wonderful people who have helped the Batman franchise.
Batman was patrolling Gotham. There were only a few robbers who were easily defeated by Batman. After catching the robbers Batman had a meeting with Commissioner Gordon in his office. Batman said "The crimes recently haven't been that big."
Commissioner Gordon replied "I'm personally glad about that. It means we don't have to deal with the more dangerous villains."
Batman said "I hate to worry you Commissioner Gordon, but I'm afraid that I have to."
Commissioner Gordon started getting worried. He said "Oh dear."
Batman said "Every time crime gets slower in Gotham it means that 1 or more villains is secretly working on a very dangerous crime."
Commissioner Gordon started panicking. He said "I'm pretty scared about this new crime considering we don't know who the new villains are and we don't know what crimes they're doing."
Batman said "Don't worry. Calm down."
Commissioner North responded "I'm not really good at doing that."
Batman said "I'll do some research. My fellow teammates will help me."
Commissioner North said "Thank goodness Batman. I hope that you and your friends find out what's going on soon."
Batman responded "They're teammates, not friends."
Meanwhile Super Flyer and Ms. Detective defeated some bank robbers.
Super Flyer said "You did a great job. You always do."
Ms. Detective replied "You and I are quite the duo."
Super Flyer nervously said "Yeah. A duo. Of course we're in a super hero team that has 5 members so not quite a duo."
Ms. Detective said "Anyways it seems like the bank robbers have been defeated. I'll walk you home."
Super Flyer said "Thank you. I remember the street, but I don't remember the house number."
Ms. Detective sighed and said "You're lucky that I'm a detective."
Super Flyer thought about it and said "You know more about where I live than I do. I don't know if that means you're super smart or I'm super dumb."
Ms. Detective said "You're not dumb. You're brilliant in your own way."
Super Flyer said "You're brilliant in every way."
Ms. Detective blushed and said "Thank you." Ms. Detective held Super Flyer's hand.
Super Flyer nervously said "What are you doing?"
Ms. Detective jokingly said "Holding your hand so you don't drop it."
Super Flyer said "Um thank you. It wouldn't be good if I dropped either of my hands. I don't even know how I could do that."
Batman tapped Super Flyer and Ms. Detective. Ms. Detective asked "How long have you been following us?"
Batman said "Long enough to hear your pathetic attempts at flirting."
Ms. Detective nervously said "We weren't flirting."
Super Flyer said "We were having a normal friendship conversation."
Batman said "You're also pathetic liars."
Ms. Detective was a little offended by Batman's comments, but she and the other super heroes were used to being judged by Batman. Ms. Detective asked "How can we help you Batman?"
Batman said "We have a new mission to work on. Come to our team building and we'll work on it."
Super Flyer replied "I hate to be rude Batman, but it's pretty late."
Batman said "I love nighttime. Lets go."
Ms. Detective said "Please come Super Flyer."
Super Flyer replied "Okay. "
The 5 super heroes met up in their team building. Batman said "Thank you for coming fellow super heroes."
Super Muscles said "You're welcome."
Mr. Explosives whined "I'm tired."
Batman said "Shut up."
Super Flyer asked "What's the mission Batman?"
Batman wasn't sure what to tell his teammates. He knew a villain crime was coming, but he didn't which villains are coming and he didn't even know what crimes they would do. Batman nervously said "I don't know what the exact mission is."
Super Flyer asked "What do you mean Batman?"
Batman said "Crime has been slower than usual in Gotham and every time that happens new villains with dangerous plans show up."
Super Muscles said "So you're just guessing that a crime is coming?"
Batman angrily said "It's more than a guess."
Mr. Explosives said "Yeah right."
Batman asked "Do you think that a crime isn't coming?"
Super Muscles said "Well a crime hasn't happened yet and it doesn't like it will."
Super Flyer said "When we know a crime is coming we'll gladly help, but we can't fight a crime if we don't even know if there is a crime."
Batman angrily said "You teenagers don't understand how crime works."
Super Muscles said "I'm 28."
Batman said "You're a 28 year old teenager."
Super Muscles asked "Does that mean I'm young forever?"
Mr. Explosives said "Yeah right."
Super Muscles said "That's a ripoff."
Mr. Explosives replied "I'm not fighting the fake crime that Batman thinks is real. I'm going. I'll return if a actual crime happens."
Super Muscles said "I'm afraid Mr. Explosives makes a good point Batman. I'm sorry."
Super Muscles and Mr. Explosives walked out. Batman sighed.
Ms. Detective patted Batman on the back and said "Don't worry. I believe in you. I'll stay here and help you. Won't you stay too Super Flyer?"
Super Flyer wanted to say yes, but it was 10:00 pm. Super Flyer said "Can't we solve this crime tomorrow morning?"
Ms. Detective said "But Batman and I would be disappointed if you left."
Super Flyer said "Okay. I'll stay for you and only for you. No offense Batman."
Batman said "Hey."
Batman, Super Flyer, and Ms. Detective started trying to find out what the new crime was.
Batman, Super Flyer, and Ms. Detective tried to solve the crime. Batman looked at Arkham Asylum's files and said "It appears that all my main villains are still in Arkham Asylum."
Super Flyer asked "Even the villains that aren't cool?"
Batman replied "No villains are cool."
Super Flyer said "Well some villains are less threatening which makes them less cool."
Batman said "Even the nerdy villains are locked up."
Ms. Detective said "I hate to question your research Batman, but I think you forgot about two of the villains."
Batman asked "Which villains?"
Ms. Detective replied "The Joker and Poison Ivy."
Batman said "I assumed that they wouldn't ever come back."
Ms. Detective said "Well I think that they are up to a new villain plan."
Super Flyer said "Um I agree with her too."
Batman said "How typical of you to agree with your girlfriend."
Super Flyer said "Hey. She's not my girlfriend."
Batman said "Yeah right."
Meanwhile the Joker and Poison Ivy went to Bruce Wayne's mansion. Alfred Pennyworth would never let villains inside of Bruce Wayne's mansion so the Joker and Poison Ivy broke inside.
Alfred nervously said "Please leave."
The Joker smiled and said "But I have some important business to do here."
Alfred said "Bruce Wayne isn't here."
The Joker asked "Well is Batman here?"
Alfred asked "What are you talking about?"
Poison Ivy said "I told the Prankster about Batman's secret identity."
Alfred asked "How could you do such a bad thing?"
Poison Ivy said "Be quiet butler." Poison Ivy used a dangerous plant to hurt Alfred.
The Joker went into the Batcave and said "I have finally found Batman's hideout. Wow. It's great. I'm jealous."
After playing around in the Batcave for a half hour the Joker walked up to Alfred and said "I have a great prank set up for you. It involves explosions and joke teeth. Ha, ha!"
Poison Ivy replied "Don't destroy him. We can use him as bait for Batman."
The Joker said "Great idea. Ha, ha!"
Batman, Super Flyer, and Ms. Detective worked so late at night that they slept at their team building. The next morning the 3 of them woke up.
Batman's phone rang. Commissioner Gordon was calling. Batman asked "What's going on?"
Commissioner Gordon said "You and your teammates better come to my office. We have a big problem."
Batman, Super Flyer, Ms. Detective, Super Muscles, and Mr. Explosives went to Commissioner Gordon's office.
Super Flyer asked "What's going on?"
Commissioner Gordon said "The Joker has returned."
Ms. Detective said "I knew he would."
Batman asked "What is he planning to do this time?"
Commissioner Gordon nervously said "I'm afraid that he's already done some pretty big crimes. You should read this letter he sent me."
Batman read the letter and said "Oh no."
Super Muscles asked "What's wrong Batman?"
Batman said "The Joker is working with Poison Ivy. The last time I battled her she briefly took off my mask and found out my secret identity."
Mr. Explosives replied "Even I don't know your real name."
Batman said "I'd rather have them know my name than you."
Mr. Explosives said "Hey."
Batman said "The Joker and Poison Ivy broke into my house and they captured my only friend."
Mr. Explosives asked "Aren't we your friends?"
Batman said "Your teammates, not friends."
Commissioner Gordon asked "What are you going to do Batman?"
Batman said "If I try to defeat Poison Ivy she will destroy my friend. I have to stop her without fighting her."
Commissioner Gordon replied "That seems impossible."
Batman said "It is, but I have accomplished impossible stuff plenty of times."
Ms. Detective said "Don't worry. I'm sure that we will come up with a good plan."
Commissioner Gordon tried to calm down and said "Thank goodness."
Batman said "This mission might be too dangerous for you four teenagers."
Super Flyer replied "We're adults. Considering that this mission will be more dangerous you will need more help."
Batman said "You're sadly right. You four super heroes can help me."
Mr. Explosives sarcastically said "What a honor."
Batman said "Shut up."
Batman, Super Flyer, Ms. Detective, Super Muscles, and Mr. Explosives went to their team building and talked about what to do to take care of the Joker and Poison Ivy's new crime.
Super Flyer said "Poison Ivy seems like quite the troublemaker."
Batman replied "She is. She uses her charm to trick people into thinking she's not a villain. It's pretty annoying."
Mr. Explosives smiled and said "She's charming? I'm already interested. Is she single?"
Ms. Detective said "She and Batman used to have a crush on each other."
Super Muscles asked "Did you ever date Poison Ivy?"
Batman said "I never date super villains."
Super Flyer asked "Haven't you dated Talia?"
Batman said "I never dated her. We just had a small crush on each other. I might of had a crush on Harley Quinn too. The point is I know Poison Ivy. Maybe I can talk her out of her evil scheme."
Super Flyer asked "What will we do about the Joker?"
Batman replied "He will be harder to deal with."
Super Flyer said "Don't worry Batman. I'm sure we will take care of him." Super Flyer tried to calm Batman down by patting him on the back.
Batman said "You better not do that ever again."
Super Flyer nervously said "I'm sorry."
Super Muscles asked "Where are we going to go to?"
Batman said "Bruce Wayne's mansion."
Super Muscles asked "Why would we go there?"
Batman lied by saying "Bruce Wayne is a close friend of mine. He lets me hide the Batcave next to his mansion. Poison Ivy and the Joker think I'm Bruce Wayne."
Mr. Explosives said "Thank goodness you're not Bruce Wayne. He's a punk."
Batman said "You're the biggest punk that I know."
Batman and the other 4 super heroes went to Bruce Wayne's mansion. They walked inside. Batman tried to find the Joker, but he wasn't weren't there.
Poison Ivy said "Greetings Batman and his 4 teenager friends."
Ms. Detective replied "Batman's only 4 teenager friends are Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy."
Batman asked said "Where's the Joker?"
Poison Ivy said "The Joker made some pretty fun hideouts using the technology from your Batcave."
Batman asked "How many hideouts are there?"
Poison Ivy said "Four. That will distract your bothersome friends."
Batman said "They're teammates, not friends."
Super Flyer asked "Should we go to the hideouts?"
Batman replied "Yes."
Super Muscles said "But we don't know where the hideouts are."
Ms. Detective said "I already figured out where they are."
Mr. Explosives replied "She's so fast."
Batman said "Each of you will go to 1 of the Joker's hideouts. Hopefully he is in one of those hideouts."
Batman's four teammates walked out of the mansion.
Super Flyer said "We better hurry. Good luck Ms. Detective."
Ms. Detective said "You too." Ms. Detective gave Super Flyer a quick hug.
Batman angrily said "You better tell me where Alfred is."
Poison Ivy said "Calm down Batman. The Joker pulled a prank on him involving explosions and fake teeth."
Batman asked "Is Alfred okay?"
Poison Ivy said "Yes. He's at the best hospital in Gotham. I know you can afford the hospital bill. Don't worry. He will live."
Batman said "We need to talk. I respect that you want to save plants, but you've been a really evil person."
Poison Ivy smirked and said "Have I really been that bad?"
Batman said "The Joker is a bad influence to you. I ask of you to not act like he does. Be like me."
Poison Ivy asked "Do you think you're the perfect role model?"
Batman said "No, but I'm the best super hero. I know what's best for everybody. Trust me."
Poison Ivy thought about it and said "I don't want to fight you, but my plants are more important. I must save all of the plants in the world. It's what I was born to do."
Batman said "Do you really think that you and the Joker will be able to get rid of a big section of the world's population?"
Poison Ivy replied "Both the Joker and I are more dangerous than you think Batman."
Batman said "I both hate and love evil women like you."
Poison Ivy replied "I'm sorry darling, but I have goals to accomplish. I both love and hate you." Poison Ivy sprayed knock out gas at Batman.
Batman tried very hard to not pass out. He said "Evil never wins. Only justice wins."
Poison Ivy said "It's time to change that. Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Batman passed out.
Batman's 4 teammates went to the four different hideouts that the Joker made out of materials he got from the Batcave.
Super Flyer arrived at a hideout made out batarangs that the Joker painted purple to look like his purple costume. Batman secretly had some batarangs that were the length of buildings which the Joker used to make a dangerous and big hideout.
Super Flyer said "Cool looking hideout. Well it's not cool that it's been used for a villain, but the I really like how it looks."
Super Flyer was about to enter the hideout, but a voice said "Hold on there punk." The Joker was using his intercom and security cameras.
Super Flyer said "I'm tired of being called a punk."
The Joker replied "I don't feel sorry for you. Ha, ha!"
Super Flyer asked "Can I go in?"
The Joker said "Not yet. First you need a toothbrush, some coupon ads, and a broken in half chair."
Super Flyer asked "Why do I need that stuff?"
The Joker said "Just get the stuff and then I'll let you in."
Super Flyer responded "Thankfully there's a store across the street."
The Joker said "Shop quickly."
Super Flyer sighed and said "Okay."
Meanwhile Ms. Detective went to a hideout that was made out of old materials and various gadgets from the bat cave. Ms. Detective looked around and said "Well this hideout fails when it comes to be intimidating or stylish." Suddenly a pile of gadgets landed on her. She said "What's going on?"
The Joker said "The gadgets had a nice fall. That reminds me of my favorite season. Ha, ha!"
Ms. Detective said "Your pranks are so cheap."
The Joker replied "My pranks are only cheap when they're on sale."
Meanwhile Super Muscles went to a hideout that was made out of spare bat mobile parts. Super Muscles said "This looks more like a junkyard than a hideout." Super Muscles went inside the hideout. There was nobody else there. Super Muscles said "I think this hideout is a trick."
The Joker said "Actually it's a joke. Ha, ha!"
A bunch of car parts landed on Super Muscles. Super Muscles asked "What's going on?"
The Joker said "My jokes sure do hurt. Ha, ha!"
Meanwhile Mr. Explosives went to a hideout made out of stuff from the dumb. Mr. Explosives said "Hey. This hideout is made out of garbage."
The Joker replied "That's all you deserve. Ha, ha!"
Mr. Explosives asked "Do you think I'm lame?"
The Joker said "Yes."
Mr. Explosives whined "But I can blow stuff up."
The Joker said "That's lame."
Super Flyer went to a nearby store. He found most of what he was looking for except 1 thing. Super Flyer said "Store manager I have a question."
The store manger said "How can I help you?"
Super Flyer asked "Do you have any chairs that are broken in half?"
The store manger answered "Of course not unless my employees broke another one."
Super Flyer said "I need to buy a chair that's been broken in half."
The store manager replied "I could have my employees break a chair in half for you."
Super Flyer said "Thank you."
The store manager said "But it will cost more."
Super Flyer responded "What? It should cost less."
The store manager said "We have to have more creative prices for more creative customers like you."
Super Flyer said "Okay."
The store manager said "Employees go break another chair in half. We have another creative customer who's willing to pay a creative price."
After shopping Super Flyer returned to the hideout. Super Flyer said "I got the stuff."
The Joker replied "Leave the stuff outside and come in."
Super Flyer asked "Why did you have me buy the stuff?"
The Joker angrily said "Come in."
Super Flyer said "Okay."
Super Flyer went inside the hideout and looked around. The hideout was orange. There was plenty of evil looking smiles drawn on the walls.
Suddenly Super Flyer got stuck to the floor. He asked "What's going on?" A bunch of yucky drinks fell on his teeth. Super Flyer said "So gross."
The Joker said "Your disgust is also my amusement. Ha, ha!"
Super Flyer said "I'm a little scared. Oh no. I shouldn't of said that out loud it makes me sound less cool."
The Joker said "You never sound cool. Ha, ha!"
Some paper landed on Super Flyer. Super Flyer said "Ow. I got a paper cut."
The Joker said "You can use one the coupon ads you got to save money on band-aids. Ha, ha!"
Super Flyer said "Your attacks are small and random."
The Joker angrily said "They are more than attacks. They are pranks."
Super Flyer asked "Do you really think that pranks are that threatening?"
The Joker replied "They may not scare you, but they entertain me. Ha, ha!"
Super Flyer said "You're not as threatening as you think you are."
The Joker replied "If that was true I wouldn't be such a big threat to Batman and his four punks. Ha, ha!"
Super Flyer searched around the room. He ran around and found the room that the Joker was in. Super Flyer said "I should of known that you were in this hideout."
The Joker said "Oh dear. You weren't supposed to find me. That's not part of the plan."
Super Flyer proudly said "I guess now you finally think I'm a cool super hero."
The Joker laughed and said "Yeah right punk."
A few minutes later Super Flyer walked out of the hideout. He called Ms. Detective.
Ms. Detective said "What's going on?"
Super Flyer said "The Joker's in the hideout I was in. Things didn't work out well."
Super Flyer sat around on the broken in half chair. Super Flyer said "This is partially comfortable."
Ms. Detective arrived and hugged Super Flyer. She asked "Are you okay?"
Super Flyer said "Yeah, but why are you here?"
Ms. Detective said "I'm going to go get the Joker."
Super Flyer knew about how dangerous the Joker's hideout was so he tried to stop her. He said "Please don't go inside of there. It's scary."
Ms. Detective replied "Batman's villains have had way scarier hideouts than this one."
Super Flyer said "But there's weird drinks that hurt your teeth and paper cuts."
Ms. Detective replied "I admire you for worrying about me, but I'll be okay."
The Joker said "Hold on there. Before you go in you need to buy a toothbrush, some coupon ads, and a broken in half chair."
Super Flyer said "Trying to argue with him about it won't work. You better buy the stuff. There is a store across the street."
Ms. Detective sighed and said "Okay."
After shopping Ms. Detective returned. She said "I will go try to stop the Joker. You should go back to Batman's mansion to see if he's okay."
Super Flyer said "I can't leave you alone in the Joker's hideout. It's too dangerous."
Ms. Detective replied "Please trust me."
Super Flyer said "Okay." Super Flyer went to a different hideout.
Ms. Detective went inside of the Joker's hideout. Ms. Detective said "It's time to give up."
The Joker said "But giving up is the most boring option."
Ms. Detective asked "What are you even trying to do?"
The Prankster replied "I wasn't sure of how to prove what a great villain I am, but Poison Ivy's plan turned out to be tempting to not agree to."
Ms. Detective asked "You're going to get rid of millions of people?"
The Joker said "Yes, but I will do it with jokes to make things more fun. Ha, ha!"
Ms. Detective quickly found the room that the Joker was in. Ms. Detective said "Now I can defeat you."
The Joker said "Drat. Thankfully I have some pranks for you. Ha, ha!"
20 minutes later Ms. Detective got out of the Joker's lair. While on her way out Super Flyer called her. He asked "Hi Ms. Detective. What happened?"
Ms. Detective tried to seem dignified. She said "It wasn't as scary as you made it sound. It was actually more amusing than scary."
Super Flyer said "Well I guess that's good. Did you get the Joker?"
Ms. Detective said "I got close, but it didn't work out?"
Super Flyer asked "Did the Prankster do anything to your teeth?"
Ms. Detective brushed her teeth while saying "I'm okay."
Super Flyer asked "Did you get a paper cut?"
Ms. Detective proudly said "I only got a couple paper cuts. Okay. I admit I messed up."
Super Flyer said "You didn't mess up. You did a great job. You're a brilliant detective and a sweet person.."
Ms. Detective asked "By the way how's Batman? I'm hoping that he can help us defeat the Joker."
Super Flyer nervously said "Not well. Poison Ivy defeated him. He's captured."
Ms. Detective said "I will get Super Muscles and Mr. Explosives to meet you there. We'll be there soon."
Super Flyer said "You better hurry. Poor Batman is in trouble."
Meanwhile Batman was trapped in tons of plants. Batman struggled to stay awake. He finally woke up and said "Please release me."
Poison Ivy responded "I wish I could, but you would ruin my plans."
Batman said "I wish your plans were more noble."
Poison Ivy responded "Me too." Poison Ivy sprayed more knock out gas at Batman. Batman tried to stay awake, but he passed out again.
Super Flyer, Ms. Detective, Super Muscles, and Mr. Explosives met up at Bruce Wayne's mansion.
Super Flyer said "Batman got captured. We gotta save him."
Mr. Explosives said "Duh."
Super Muscles said "I think I know what to do."
Ms. Detective asked "What are you going to do?"
Super Muscles said "Don't worry." Super Muscles entered the mansion. Super Muscles grabbed Poison Ivy and threw her across the room. Super Muscles crushed the plants that Batman was stuck in.
Batman said "Good job."
Super Muscles responded "Thank you."
Batman walked up to Poison Ivy and said "Please give up your evil plans. To be honest I used to like you, but I can't like you as a villain. There's no way you'll win as a villain. I want you to win as a hero."
Poison Ivy thought about it and said "I suppose trying to finish my evil plans won't help anybody. I give up."
Batman said "Thank you. This is one of the few times I admire a quitter."
Super Flyer said "I know where the Joker's hideout is, but stopping him has been too hard for me and Ms. Detective."
Batman said "Well you kids don't have the most important super power in the world. It's a super power that only I have."
Super Muscles asked "What is that super power called?"
Batman said "Being Batman."
Mr. Explosives said "That's not a super power."
Batman said "Shut up."
Poison Ivy asked "Can I at least have a goodbye kiss?"
Batman said "I try to avoid romance. Being the world's best super hero takes up 100% of my time."
Poison Ivy replied "I both love and hate you so much."
Batman and the other 4 super heroes went to the Prankster's lair while Poison Ivy ran away.
The Joker said "Yes. You're all finally here. However I'm mostly excited about Batman."
Batman replied "You might as well give up. Poison Ivy already surrendered."
The Joker said "I'm very ashamed of her. I will have to finish her brilliantly evil plans by myself. Ha, ha!"
Super Muscles said "We won't let you destroy anybody."
Mr. Explosives replied "The only you have destroyed is good jokes."
The Joker tried to use his dangerous pranks to get rid of Batman and the others, but Batman managed to break all of the prank devices apart.
Ms. Detective said "You keep proving why you're the best super hero."
Batman said "I make Superman look like a fool."
Super Flyer said "But Superman's super cool."
The Joker was worried. Batman was doing a better job than he expected. Batman was about to go into the room the Joker was in and capture him. The Joker said "I would love to prank you for weeks, but I need to go. Ha, ha!" The Joker sprayed fog at Batman and the other 4 super heroes. While they were distracted the Joker started running away.
After the fog wore off Batman said "Oh no. I don't know how we will catch up to him now."
Super Flyer flew up and grabbed the Joker. Super Flyer said "Are you ready to give up?"
The Joker said "I never am. I have this remote that can blow up a big section of the world. If you try to capture me I will press the button. Ha, ha!"
Ms. Detective said "Thankfully I did my research. I know how to make the remote stop working." Ms. Detective used the advice from the research she got to break the remote.
Super Flyer accidentally dropped the Joker to the ground. Super Flyer said "I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry."
Batman looked at the Joker and said "He passed out."
A few minutes later the Joker woke up. The Joker said "Oh no. I forgot Batman's secret identity."
Batman said "Well it seems like you're the one who got pranked this time."
The Joker said "I hate getting defeated, but I like funny defeats. Ha, ha, ha, ha!" The Joker was sent back to Arkham Asylum.
The next day Commissioner Gordon had Batman and the others come to his office. He said "You five super heroes keep impressing me. Good job."
Super Flyer said "Thank you."
Mr. Explosives proudly said "It was so much work, but I really proved how awesome I am."
Batman said "You didn't help at all you punk."
Meanwhile the Joker was in Arkham Asylum. He said "I lost again, but I'll win next time. I promise you that. I'll come up with the best joke ever. Ha, ha! I won't lose."
The Penguin replied "Yeah right."
