He, Who is My Other Half: A Guest in a Rainy Day

Fandom: White Collar/Chuck

Rating: T/15+

Genre: Hurt/Comfort-Romance-Family

Pairing: Bryce/Chuck, Bryce/Neal

Disclaimer: White Collar and Chuck belong to their respected owner. No profit is made from this fic.

Warning: hints of male x male, a little bit of brother-complex indication (incest alert!), setting of time is White Collar and Chuck pre-series, AU, and there are some spoilers at season 1 and season 2 (Chuck) for several facts mentioned

Summary: Neal could always feel Bryce's feeling, even from afar, and he wasn't feeling good right now. What happened to Bryce? And the need to comfort was too overwhelming to ignore.

A/N: Yes, this is the second story of the 'Twin Brothers Saga'. It appears as a prequel of the previous story, which will explain a specific scene in it. Enjoy.

A Guest in a Rainy Day

"Why?" Chuck's disbelieving hurt confused face was like a spear that stabbed right to the core of Bryce's being. But his spy training wasn't letting him to show that on his face. "Why did you do it, Bryce?"

Bryce honestly didn't have an answer to that.

No.

Bryce had an answer, an answer that he couldn't tell Chuck no matter what.

Because I love you.

Bryce was positive that he was already quite hated right now. He didn't need to give Chuck, his sweet trusting kind-hearted Chuck, more ammunition to hate him even more by admitting his not-so-subtle romantic feeling to his best friend. Heck, he was even sure that the entire fraternity house, except Chuck, was aware of his feeling towards curly haired chocolate eyed boy. The ulterior motive behind the lingering touches when they were playing spy games and the secret Klingon which screamed 'the world for two and for the two of them only'….

Even Bryce wondered how on earth Chuck never realized it.

I don't want you to get hurt, or worse, die.

That was more acceptable. But still, Bryce was certain that what he had done already hurt Chuck deeply, not physically of course, but it still hurt nonetheless. His action of betrayal probably hurt Chuck even more much than any physical pain. And Chuck hated pain. Of course Bryce knew that.

But… at least Chuck would live.

Bryce couldn't bear the thought of losing Chuck in person in this world. Yes, he would lose his trust and his friendship, no question for that, but he could still have Chuck alive and well, happy. Probably.

Chuck was hurt deeply now, but someday… the pain would subside, and even though Bryce didn't think Chuck would ever forgive him, at least… Chuck would live a relatively normal life. That would be enough for Bryce. After all, he had promised Orion to always watch out the boy's back.

So…, despite the pain and the heartache (and surprisingly the almost unbearable nausea) Bryce was currently experiencing under Chuck's sad gaze right then (and probably some accusing stares from his other fraternity brothers), Bryce could only mask his feeling, and then replied with some cold distant words. "You did it to yourself."

Chuck's crestfallen broken expression almost broke Bryce's mask right there and then as well, but he steeled his heart (despite the urge to wail and scream in agony) and was able to hold his cool demeanor until Chuck left.

As soon as the door was closed, Bryce couldn't hold the churning feeling inside his stomach anyl onger and quickly retreated to the restroom so he could wretch out every last drop of his eaten lunch earlier.

Bryce didn't come out from the restroom until nightfall. And when he did get out, he didn't come back to his and (now, no longer) Chuck's room, but left the dorm to cool down his current self-loathing burning feeling. He needed a place where he could be himself, not the super spy Bryce Larkin, not the perfect student Bryce Larkin, but only Bryce, a boy who had just hurt and betrayed his best friend, the love of his life; a boy who was weak and couldn't protect Chuck without having to hurt him.

A boy who was nothing. So insignificant in comparison to the gold heart of Chuck Bartowski.

Bryce suddenly had an urge to visit someone. Someone who would understand his reason without asking too many questions. Someone with whom he could trust his life and secret. Someone who wouldn't judge him even if Bryce broke down in front of him.

Someone… who owned Bryce's half soul.

-—BrycexNeal—-

Neal was having a romantic (relatively cheap but extravagant) dinner with his girlfriend when the bell of the front door of his cheap apartment rang.

It wasn't a particularly clear starry night since he could see the purple rain clouds hanging heavy on the sky from his window. However, even though the night wasn't that nice for any celebration or happy occasion, it was his first anniversary with his girlfriend, so he wanted to make it special. He had prepared everything in his apartment room, and invited the girl to have dinner together and probably later, to have a mind-blowing sex.

Actually, Neal hadn't been feeling good since this afternoon, but he didn't know why. He didn't have any shitty days lately, even his college works were outstanding (according to his professor) and his part time job as a painter and a model were also okay, so he really didn't have any reason to feel like that. Something was churning unpleasantly in his stomach, but he the sinking feeling had nothing to do with what he had eaten or drunk.

So, when that bell interrupted his and his girlfriend dinner, the unpleasant churning feeling morphed into a bad omen inside Neal. Neal stood up abruptly and suddenly felt an unexplainable urgency to open his front door. When Neal did, stood before him was a boy in his age, wearing red jumpsuit.

Neal widened his eyes as he assessed the boy's appearance. Crystal blue eyes, slightly wavy dark hair… despite his striking resemblance with, or identical feature of Neal, the mirror eyes looked tired, grave, weary, cloudy, the hair wet and mushy, skin paler than his, and he seemed in complete mess.

"Bryce…?" Neal was oddly not surprised seeing his twin there. He kind of had suspected that his sinking feeling had something to do with his other half because Neal himself had no reason to feeling that way.

Some expert said that twins were connected in unexplainable way that one could feel the other's feeling even though they were not in the same place. It seemed Neal was having that experience earlier. Looking at Bryce like that, whatever the problem was, was killing his Bryce from the inside.

Bryce didn't say a single word even after Neal called his name, but he suddenly leaned forward and rested his forehead on the crook of Neal's neck. Neal could feel the dampness from Bryce's dark hair on his cheek, but the dampness that bothered him even more was the hot wet feeling which was currently wetting his nice shirt on his shoulder.

It stung Neal's heart quite deeply, seeing Bryce silently break down in front of him. Neal hurriedly warped his arm around Bryce, either trying to give some warmth to the cold shivering body inside his embrace, or to shield it from the harshness of the world outside the two of them. Or probably both.

Bryce was never a weak person, and whatever happened must have been so grave that Bryce was acting like this.

Neal ended up escorting his protesting girlfriend outside his room, saying he needed some privacy to be with this young man who had just appeared out of nowhere. Bryce's jumpsuit was completed with hood, so he hid his face with the hood so as not to compromise his identity to Neal's girlfriend. Neal promised he would make it up to her another time.

Despite the scowl and the annoyance from the girl's part, Neal succeeded in sweet-talking her to go home, and finally Neal could be alone with his brother who he hadn't seen in three years since they graduated from high school and Neal run away from home to pursue his own dream which was fiercely objected by their father because artist wasn't an option of career choices for any Larkin's.

Neal didn't care about his father's path life choice because it was Neal's life and Neal's alone, so Neal had a full right to choose his own path and nothing his father could do to stop him. Neal didn't really care when his father disowned him and officially removed his name from the list of his legacy because for Neal, money wasn't everything. Neal treasured his freedom more than anything, and he wouldn't be persuaded by a threat of not getting any inheritance in case his parents died.

Bryce, on the other hand, didn't have that luxury, because he was an heir of the family's name and glory. His father expected him to succeed him someday, so he was given responsibility to do what was best for family's name. Sometimes…Neal felt a little bit guilty because he left Bryce alone for that role, while Neal was embracing freedom.

When Neal discarded Larkin's name and took his mother's maiden name 'Caffrey' as his last name, Bryce struggled hard to clean up his mess by trying to satisfy his father's urge to make his child be the best at everything, to bring Larkin's name to the top of the world, yet it seemed never enough for him.

Neal stared at the shivering bundle in his embrace and kissed his head with sad eyes, mouthing 'I am sorry' over and over while tightening his hold to let Bryce know that he was there, and he wouldn't leave him alone again.

Thinking cleverly and practically, Neal brought the shivering Bryce to the bathroom because he was in dire need of hot bath to warm his body or he would catch a cold. So, Neal was slowly discarding the wet jumpsuit, and then Bryce's simple polo shirt under it followed the red lump on the bathroom floor not much later.

Bryce closed his eyes the entire time as Neal prepared the hot bath, still not saying anything. Neal could feel his twin flinch slightly as his warmer skin of palms touched the clod shivering shoulder and arms. Neal stroked the damp skin slowly, trying to produce some heat from the friction.

When the bath was ready, Neal unbuckled Bryce's belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, before peeling the fabric down so Bryce could step out from them. Neal contemplated for a second or two if he would discard his brother's boxer brief as well, not that he had never seen Bryce nude, but for the sake of decency, he decided to leave the boxer on.

Neal guided Bryce to step into the tub which was filled with hot water now. He could see that Bryce flinch again when he was slowly sitting down before finally he sank in completely up to his chest. He sighed slightly as he slumped in the water, sinking more until his neck was covered as well.

Neal smiled slightly at the change of expression. At least Bryce wasn't cold anymore.

"Better?" Neal asked tentatively.

Bryce slowly opened his puffed eyes because his cry earlier, and smiled small at him. "Yeah." His voice was a bit low and hoarse even though he was silence the entire time.

Neal still stroked the skin on Bryce's shoulder under the water, not willing to cut off the skin contact, not yet. He needed to give Bryce the reassurance that he was not alone. Bryce closed his eyes again, seeming feeling Neal's presence there with him.

Neal smiled softly at him and sat on the edge of the tub, his free hand roamed at Bryce's back, stroking slowly and evenly, ceasing the remaining coldness from his body and creating pattern that he knew would ease Bryce's tense shoulder.

Neal held his tongue the entire time despite his urge to ask what happened to Bryce, because Bryce would tell him himself if he needed to tell him.

Oh yes, Neal knew that Bryce was a secretive lad. He didn't know what the secrecy was for, but Neal knew better to ask. It was either so big or had a potential to endanger his life.

Finishing the bath, Neal helped Bryce out of the tub and warped a big fluffy towel around him to keep him warm. He drained the tub before leading Bryce to his bedroom.

Neal sat Bryce down on his bed and left him for a moment to fetch clean sweatshirt and sweatpants for Bryce to wear. He also opened a package of new boxer for Bryce. It would be awkward if he lent him one of his. Despite being twins and all, they never had to share anything between them. His father made sure each of his children to never depend on each other. Well, not that Neal ever listened to him. He might never share things with Bryce, but he always shared his feeling and his dream with his beloved big brother.

"Here," Neal offered the soft fabric to Bryce.

"Thanks," Bryce said while letting the towel fall to the floor, revealing his now smooth slightly colored skin, still relatively pale, but at least it was a more healthy color compared to the earlier one.

Neal drank in the nice view of Bryce's feature. It was always fascinating to witness how similar Bryce and he were, but there was a sharp distinction as well. Bryce's body was more toned, still slender, but definitely worked out very nicely. He was like a Greek sculpture, strong, yet beautiful. There were some scars Neal remembered never seeing before, they had to be recent.

Neal stepped closer and closer to admire Bryce's body. He couldn't help himself. He was always attracted to beauty, men or women; he didn't care, no matter how disturbing it was to feel that way. Worse, it was Bryce he was talking about, his elder twin brother.

Shit. Neal didn't have any self control for something like this. He wanted to touch. He had to. He couldn't deny his aesthetic feeling to worship any beauty. Consequence be damned.

Neal reached his hands tentatively to the still changing Bryce, and he landed warmer palms on Bryce's bare shoulder blade, slightly surprising the older twin, and making him stop his activity of dressing. "Neal?" His voice was a bit unsure.

"Sorry…," Neal said slowly, pacing his breath, and then rested his forehead on Bryce's broad shoulder. "I can't really help it. You're more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

Bryce chuckled slightly. "Speak to yourself? Narcissist brat," he shook his head.

"Yah, well, it's not my fault if we're beautiful, right?" Neal grinned and bit on the back of Bryce's neck, making the older boy yelp and drop his shirt.

"Neal!" Bryce laughed in surprise. Neal's grin widened before he hauled the half-dressed guy in front of him to fall on the bed and then wrestled on top of him to tickle his victim mercilessly. "Oh, god! Stop! That's… that tickles!" Bryce struggled underneath Neal who was attacking his sensitive skin from both sides, while laughing out loud. "Okay! Okay! I surrender!" He managed to shout in the midst of laughing and wheezing.

Neal was still grinning like a Cheshire cat as he claimed his victory from Bryce. He always won this tickling game because he knew every weak spot on Bryce's body. Bryce should know his too, but Neal was always in upper hand because he had more agility and flexibility, being slightly leaner and skinnier. And right then, Neal knew that Bryce was still not okay. Despite the twinkling eyes and mischief smile, Neal knew that Bryce was still in pain inside.

"So…," Neal spoke slowly leaning down, body still above Bryce and slightly straddling him, face looming closer to Bryce's, "I won, what's my reward?"

"Wait, it's a competition?" Bryce looked at Neal's eyes with a pout. "Not fair. You launched a surprise attack."

Neal chuckled. "Well, you had it coming," he reasoned. "It's your fault for being vulnerable and cute in front of me, Bryce. You should know better."

Bryce sighed slightly and put his hands on Neal's stubbled cheeks. "Kiss me?" Bryce's slightly defeated expression caught Neal off guard. He widened his eyes in a slightly shocked look.

"Don't be stupid, big brother. You know we can't do that." Despite the promise of very-very good mind-blowing sensation if Neal really did that, there was always a boundary he'd never cross. Not because he didn't want to, but because he knew it would hurt both of them deeply.

"We can," Bryce said strongly. "I can." He continued and pulled Neal's surprised face closer before planting a small peck on Neal's lips.

Neal watched with fascination as Bryce closed his eyes and tried to deepen the kiss despite Neal's lack of reaction. Bryce's lips were dry and soft and wow, Neal could live with this only. Yet, the younger twin noticed the desperation and pain and heartache as well, and Neal was as sure as hell that Bryce wasn't in his right mind at that moment. Neal wasn't that depraved of morality that he would take an advantage of his brother when he was in this condition.

Sure Neal loved Bryce very much (brother complex and all) and he didn't really give a damn of their shared blood to commit incest, but Bryce was different. He wouldn't forgive himself later when he got his sense back and regretted this action.

So, Neal took the wisest act he could pull off despite his feeling of want and need. He pulled back slowly and snuggled Bryce's neck while holding him close to him, and no more.

"Neal?"

Neal could hear the dread of rejection in Bryce's voice and tone, but he steeled his thundering heartbeat and said "I love you, you know that, right?" Bryce was silent at that confession. Neal could feel he nod slightly. "I always have… and always will," Neal continued, slowly tightening his hold on Bryce's body. "Doesn't mean I will take advantage of you when you're vulnerable, Bryce. I know you're in pain, and god knows you probably want to do things that will hurt you most right now, or run away to the end of the world to escape the pain, or probably both, but I won't let you do that, because you're too precious to me, you understand that?"

Neal never loosened his hold on Bryce; if he could, he would even tighten it more. "If you want to talk, I am right here, I'll listen to you until my ears fall off if you want, but I won't volunteer to hurt you, ever. Okay?"

Neal could feel Bryce's body shudder slightly, and Bryce hugged him back as tightly, holding him like his dear life was hanging there. "Sorry…," he whispered slightly, voice also trembling. "I am so sorry…!"

Neal didn't know if that apology was meant for him or someone else entirely, but he smiled slightly when he felt the pain was slowly dispersing from his inside, like a block of ice melting away bit by bit together with every drop of tears that wetted his shoulders.

Neal was stroking Bryce's hair softly when the older brother was nodding off beside him, tired from his cry, Neal's other hand nestled on Bryce's waist, holding him close. "What happened?" Neal asked, pretty sure that Bryce was okay enough to share his pain and ache.

"I've done something… so unforgivable today," Bryce answered weakly, whispering, eyes slowly fluttering to close, but Neal could see that he was trying to maintain his consciousness. Neal nodded slightly in silence, urging him Bryce to continue. "I've betrayed… and hurt the most important person in my life…." Bryce closed his eyes, but Neal knew he wasn't asleep yet. "I am weak… and insignificant that I can't choose to risk losing him, so I push him away. I want him to live a happy normal life. But to do that, I have to hurt him. I have to… I want to protect him from the ugliness of this world. I want to preserve his innocence and his beautiful golden heart from the harshness of reality. I don't want him to be corrupted by the agency… and I want him to always be Chuck…."

Neal noticed that some points like agency and the name were so… well, personal, and Bryce shouldn't have told him that, but Neal couldn't bring himself to care.

"Sweet, trusting, kind-hearted Chuck…," Bryce sighed and smiled so fondly, eyes still closed, "I love him… very-very much. I can't bear standing still watching him sullied and dirtied. I did the right thing…. But it's just so… so painful…. Hurting Chuck is too painful, seeing him hurt is breaking me… I can't—!"

Neal tightened his hold on Bryce's waist as he sensed the distress in Bryce's tone. It was like he was having a nightmare and Neal wanted to chase away that nightmare.

"I don't want him to hate me…!" Bryce buried his face on Neal's chest and Neal could feel the wash of painful feeling once more. The love… the broken heart… the fear of loss and the self loathing, and everything else… Neal could feel it as well.

"I wish there were other choices… but there wasn't. I have to protect him. I need to protect him…."

Neal could also hear the silent pray of 'I want to kiss and hold and take care of him, to love him dearly and make love to him' in Bryce tone, but he didn't say it because it was too personal. Bryce had found the love of his life, judging from the intense feeling of passion Neal felt emanating from him. Neal hadn't found the one, yet, but he understood Bryce's feeling perfectly.

They were twins, remember? They were connected emotionally more than anyone else could ever connect to them.

Bryce was silent for some long minutes before he looked up to see Neal's understanding expression. "You don't want to say something?" he asked slowly.

"What for? I already understand what you're feeling. You've done what you have to do, and I believe you did what you thought was right," Neal said, kissing Bryce's forehead lovingly.

"Even though it's for a selfish reason? I am an egotistical asshole who probably has just ruined his best friend's life by kicking him out of college because he was almost being recruited by the agency, you know." Bryce said bitterly.

"Yeah, and saving his life as well. At least he'll live." Neal was sure he spoke out what Bryce had thought as well. "He will thank you one day."

Bryce snorted. "I doubt it."

"He will… and then one day he will see just how much you love him," Neal forced Bryce to look at his identical eyes, sure, strong and determined eyes, something that was lacked off in Bryce's eyes right then. "And then one day… he will return that feeling."

Bryce stared deeply at Neal's sure gaze before he smiled. "I hope so…," he whispered lowly with glazed look and then leaned forward to kiss Neal's lips again, a small soft peck of gratitude. "Thank you… Neal…." Bryce closed his eyes again before drifting slowly to a dreamless sleep.

Neal smiled fondly at his twin brother before kissing the now closed eyes. "You're welcome, Bryce…."

Neal had many questions regarding the agency Bryce had mentioned earlier, but they could wait until tomorrow to discuss. Right now, he was perfectly content by having Bryce sleeping peacefully in his arms, warm and safe from the harm of the world outside.

End of A Guest in The Rainy Day

A/N: I am having a blast. There are not many conversations, but I am trying to portrait Bryce's feeling. In this one, Neal seems like the stronger one, huh? Just like Neal can be vulnerable in front of Bryce in the previous story, Bryce can also be vulnerable if it's in front of Neal here. Besides, they're still so young in this story ^_^. Well, I hope you do enjoy this story. Please feel free to comment. I'd like to know what you think of this.