A/N: Civil War was awesome and there needs to be more fics about it. This is my contribution. Please be gentle.
Here's the thing, and wasn't it just hilarious, a real fucking haha all the way to Siberia and back: He had honestly, earnestly, with all good intentions, tried to do his goddamn best. He had given his all to keep the team together. He had – in vain – given his very best effort to make sure his friends were safe.
That wasn't yet the funny part, though, it was just the setting for the joke.
The punchline came gradually a punch after a punch, and it left him alone in an abandoned HYDRA compound in Siberia, wounded and encased in a metal suit that had a heart just as broken and shattered as his own.
Tony was now kneeling there on the cold ground, picking up pieces of his Arc Reactor and its casing, piece after miserable piece. They clinked against each other when he dropped them onto his opened palm, against the metal of his hand, and Clint – had he been there – might have come up with something sarcastically poetic about the whole situation, like something about Tony picking up pieces of his own nonexistent heart. But Clint wasn't there, was he. No-one was there, except for Tony and five dead HYDRA soldiers, and for once in his life, Tony couldn't- Tony wasn't- Tony didn't-
Because Steve had chosen Barnes, even knowing what Barnes had done to Tony's family, even after watching the recording of Barnes beating Tony's dad to death, of Barnes leisurely walking to the passenger's side and putting his hand around Maria Stark's throat, strangling her, killing her. Steve had known that Barnes had killed Tony's mom and dad, and he had made the conscious choise to keep the truth from Tony.
Steve had forced Tony down in order to help Barnes up, and that was betrayal on another level completely. Steve was hardly the first person whom Tony had trusted only to be left helpless and incapacitated, but it turned out, it didn't hurt any less this time around. It actually hurt more.
Tony never learnt his lesson, it seemed.
His injured arm was throbbing with pain and his fingers were shaking, not from the cold, but from the mix of emotions he didn't dare to study closer. The pieces of the Arc Reactor's casing kept slipping from his fingers, he felt sick to his stomach, he felt cold all over, he couldn't stop trembling, he felt light-headed and weak, and yet, had James Barnes still been there, he wouldn't have hesitated to launch himself at the man again.
Murdered. His parents had been murdered. And the murderer had just walked from his grasp with the help of Captain America, one Steve Rogers, the fucking epitome of all that was well and good in the world, the one hero of whom his dad hadn't ever stopped talking with such pride and fondness he never used when refering to Tony – "Steve Rogers, Anthony – now, that was a true man! If you could be half as decent as Steve Rogers was..." – and wasn't that, too, just hilarious.
In the end, Tony decided, it wasn't.
Steve Rogers hadn't just betrayed Tony Stark, but he had also betrayed Howard and Maria Stark – because of Steve Rogers, there would be no revenge, no avenging, not even justice for Tony's parents.
Siberia's bitter cold air had frozen the tear tracks on his cheeks by the time he had picked up all the pieces of the Arc Reactor and its casing, but the helpless rage hadn't yet cooled down.
Tony didn't know how long it took for FRIDAY to send him help, but it couldn't have been more than a few hours till his autopiloted chopper came back and landed in front of the compound, ready for his use. When FRIDAY had confirmed that it was indeed Anthony Stark who was trying to gain access to the chopper, he was finally allowed in. He climbed aboard, shivering and hurting and alone. The warm air inside the helicopter caressed his face like a kiss from a mother and he leant his head against the headrest, closing his eyes, as the door closed with an electronic hiss.
"I'm glad that you are in a reasonably good condition, boss," FRIDAY greeted him, sounding grave. "I wouldn't have allowed anyone else access to this helicopter had it turned out that you had been killed during your encounter with Captain Rogers and James Barnes."
"Thanks," Tony muttered, opening his eyes.
While Tony fastened his seatbelt, mindful of his hurting arm, FRIDAY gave him an account of the situation – she had contacted Rhodey the moment Iron Man's communication had been cut off, informing the man that Tony might be injured and in need of a rescue and medical help, but now that Tony had been located intact, she had already informed Rhodey of the change in circumstances and cancelled the need for further assistance.
Tony listened half-heartedly. He wondered if Steve had planned on eventually contacting someone to let them know the coordinates to Tony's location, just in case Tony wouldn't have been able to leave the compound on his own now that his suit was without power. He dismissed the thought as soon as it had come: Rogers might have spared Tony's life when he had slammed the shield into the Arc Reactor instead of Tony's neck, but that was likely more for Rogers' own peace of mind than for Tony's sake. The man would hardly care if Tony was to freeze or starve now that he wouldn't be responsible for Tony's death himself. Perhaps Steve even figured, Tony thought bitterly, that Tony's death would be one less problem for him and Barnes.
A stubborn part of his mind was insisting that he should still give Steve the benefit of doubt, and he turned the autopilot off to occupy his mind with flying so he wouldn't need to listen to those annoying and unreasonable demands.
He flew a few rounds over the compound, trying to find anything that would lead him after Rogers and Barnes, but it was like the two of them had disappeared into thin air. That assessment didn't seem to be too far off, as FRIDAY could eventually point out four tracks in the snow, tracks that all led to a place where an aircraft of some kind had landed, but whatever had once been there, was now gone, and with it, Tony presumed, Rogers and Barnes and whoever had been with them.
"The aircraft was headed to southeast during the take-off," FRIDAY informed him, "but I can't determine or estimate the direction to which it might have taken off."
Hearing this, Tony grew as silent as the white vast landscape all around them, and after a while he turned FRIDAY's audio off so he didn't have to listen to her worried inquiries any longer.