Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
Present Tense
In a way, being a TARDIS means being half alive. It isn't just because we are living machines, mechanic rather than organic. We can access only half of what compromises most sentient life-forms existence. Take senses for example. A TARDIS can see, through cameras and sensors, and also with Time Sense; but they cannot touch. They can hear, but they cannot speak. The sense of smell isn't really important…but that's just the thing, none of it matters, not really.
I might not ever smell fresh cut grass, but my data-banks include information on how it smells and why. I might not ever feel sand beneath my feet (I hardly ever feel it beneath my exterior), but my records tell me what it would feel like. You see what I mean about a half-life? A TARDIS lives on the other side of a glass wall, looking out, listening, but unable to connect; knowing, but never experiencing.
Mind you, for centuries this never bothered me. Why would it? I'd never known (will know) anything different. After I experienced the world through a human body it was hard to go back behind that glass wall. Talking to my Thief and gaining a still stronger bond with him made up for everything though. I am glad I finally got to say hello to him after all these long years.
There is another aspect of being a TARDIS that I always rather disliked. It made (makes) me an oddity amongst my sisters, since they have no problem with the issue that plagues me almost constantly, and would probably drive me insane – well, more insane – if I thought about it too much. What is it, you ask?
Well, imagine if you could see the future; if every night, you saw – not dreamed, but saw – all that could possibly happen the next day. Imagine watching the future of someone close to you. Imagine seeing them lose a friend, or have to make a difficult sacrifice, or simply find themselves alone. Now imagine that you couldn't speak and warn them of this impending heartbreak, that you actually had to take them to the place where it would occur in order to keep time from unravelling, and that when it happened you could not hold them or say anything to comfort them.
That is what it's like to be me. If someone reads a book about their own future, that future cannot be changed. I read every book about the future, I cannot help it. It is my instinct, an intrinsic part of my nature. If the timelines show my Thief fighting Daleks on Peladon, even though we'd both rather go to Hawaii, I have to take him there.
Most TARDISes wouldn't think twice about it; it's just the way things are. Unlike them, I have never enjoyed taking my Thief to places where I know he will be hurt, physically or emotionally. It's not just because I can feel his pain through the Imprimatur, our symbio-psychic link; it's also because I care deeply about him.
I suppose it's because we are two pieces of a puzzle in this sprawl called the universe. We orbit each other like binary stars. I can experience the world through our bond, and in return I give him a refuge and a source of stability; even though said source is constantly tumbling through time. I provide him with food and clothes, and help keep his mind off his nightmares; in a way, I'm like his mother.
Except that he already has (had) a mother, and I love him in a deep, loyal, passionate way that can only be described as "hopelessly romantic". He has often said of me that I am his constant companion. From the viewpoint of a TARDIS, the sincerest endearment that I can use is that he is my Present Tense.