The scene is the Black Order mess hall. On one of the table's is huge cage decorated with Harry Potter figures. A small pile presents are nearby. And sitting around them are several people who should be familiar.
Goku: Why are we here? I could've sworn I saw some demons nearby that need to be exterminated!! (shoots nasty look at Komui)
Sanzo: (sounding angry) This is such a waste of time. Why is this gathering so important?
Lenalee: You're such a killjoy!! This is a really important day for her.
Hakkai: Yeah, Sanzo. It's not every day we are invited to a surprise birthday party. Especially for her. Don't you know how old she's turning?
Goyjo: Where's the freckin alcohol? You guys lied. You said there would be alcohol. And I'm not seeing Tana either.
Tianna: It's Tianna!! And besides, she's not yet of drinking age. (smacks Goyjo)
Komui: (skulking in corner) Why does Son Goku hate me? I've done nothing to him!! Lenalee, save me!!
Allen: Nothing to him? You thought he was an Akuma and tried to capture him so you could experiment on the "new type of Akuma". He 's not an Akuma. At least not the type we're used to anyway. Trust me, I know.
Lameran: (sitting on Kanda's lap) We are all here because we're the author's OC's. If she doesn't make us fight, there will be no violence here. Show him some mercy. After all, he is a crazy demented scientist with a wierd fascination with killer robots. Sanzo!! Stop trying to leave the party early. Even General Cross is coming and Kanda is enjoying himself as well. Lighten up.
Allen: (horrified beyond belief) Master is coming?!! How come no one told me this? (tries to run but Lenalee stops him)
Kanda: Just for the record, I'm not enjoying the party. I'm only here because it makes Lameran happy. Try to be happy for Lenalee Moyashi!!
Cross: Someone lied to me!! I see no alcohol or beautiful women here. Except for Lenalee and Lameran of course. I expected more than these two.
Aleena: Hello everyone!! Father, please act your age. After all, General Cross shaped you into who are today. And we love that you very much.
Lenalee: She's right you know. Allen, we love you for the you are now. (swoops down and kisses him on the cheek)
Allen: (turning bright red) Lenalee!!! Not that I don't mind this, but what are you doing? If Komui finds out, he'll kill me.
Aleena: Hey, I know this will sound wierd, but who is this party for? The readers must be curious. And also, where's Lavi and Marianna?
Lameran: Lavi is currently hiding with Marianna. Looks like they're making out. He also holds a grudge Jasaiya Hawkins. And this party is for Jasaiya Hawkins.
Lameran: Yuu, shall we go fetch them? This is an excellent chance to torture Lavi.
Kanda: (gets evil grin on his face) Let's. That stupid rabbit is always torturing me. It's payback time. (Lameran and Kanda leave)
Lenalee: Lavi is such a drama queen.
Goku: I've never met him but he sure has a wierd name. Why does he hate Jasaiya? I mean, come on. It's thanks to her he's even around and has the love of his life.
Lavi: (walks in with light lipstick all over his lower mouth, Lameran and Kanda follow) Because she made me nearly get pregnant!! And did I forget to mention she gave me a period just recently?!! Her mother is the one who corrupted her. All from an early age.
Hakkai: (over everyone's laughter) Aww, don't be so pushy. It provided the readers with great entertainment. And also gave Lenalee a break as well. And besides, it wasn't her mother who corrupted her.
Goyjo: (Grinning lightly as he imagines something) Yeah, that's true. From an early age she tortured barbies and lego people mercilessly all by herself. Turned kind sweet Pocahontas into an evil dictatoress. And I personally think it would be fun to be hung upside down over a pit of ravenous alligators and to be made to "talk". Judging from her personality, she sounds like an awesome person. Especially since even if they talked, she still fed them to her alligators. Or building lego prisons with completely smooth walls and sticking ants in there. Her mom helped her with that. If the ant managed to get far, she would knock it down.
Lavi: (sweatdrops) You call that cool?! One day she will do that to you. What will you think then?
Sanzo: That's obvious. He's a stupid water kappa. He'll enjoy it too much. Don't get too carried away Jasaiya. It'll cause me so many problems.
Krory: (Bursting into the room) Am I late? Did I miss it? Oh no. I missed it.
Lavi: Don't worry. Miranda is fetching her now. What's taking so long anyway?
Miranda: (over a Golem) We're almost there. Get ready. (Everyone dives into a hiding spot. Allen switches off the light in the process)
Creak!! The door opens slowly and someone walks in.
Everyone: Surprise!!! Happy 18th birthday, Jasaiya!!
Jasaiya: (pretends to jump) Thanks you guys. This is likely the only big thing that will happen for my birthday. (under breath) But I kinda knew this would happen. After all, I am the authoress.
Hakkai: What do you mean this is likely the only big thing to happen on your birthday? It's your birthday. It should be special.
Jasaiya: A lot of my family lives far away. My grandparents live in Wyoming(?). And my birth dad is in Louisiana, along with my older sister. I mostly just get money for my birthday.
Allen: No more of that!! You're an adult now. Technically, your birthday's not until the 11th. So enjoy your last days of being a kid now.
Jasaiya: (darkly) You really know how to cheer a person up.
Cross: (smacking Allen angrily) I thought I taught you respect for women! That doesn't include making them depressed or nearly making them cry. Get on your knees and beg for forgiveness!! Or I'll make you travel with me again and pay off my debts again.
Komui: Mercy, General. By all means make him beg on his knees. But he can't travel with you. We need him here at Headquarters. Director's orders, not mine. But mine as well now. This place just wouldn't be the same without him. And Lenalee would get depressed also.
(New Noah Clan enters)
Lunarmaria: Did you think you could do this without us? This is a truce for now. We will get our Earl back. (looks pleadingly at Lameran)
Lanston: (puts a hand on her shoulder) Not now. If she is happy, so are we.
Lanick: Oh yeah!! Come on, it's a party, not a funeral. Where's Vintrix?
Vintrix: (teleports in) This is not a party without me. (fireworks go off in the air)
Hikatay: I'll just go in a corner. (sits by Sanzo, who glares at her)
Cross: All these beautiful women!!! Which one do I choose?
Marianna: Lavi, where's Browyne and Levi? They should be here.
Hikatay: (with a dagger to Cross's throat) If you touch the Earl, you'll regret it.
Browyne: (also with a dagger to Cross's throat) The same goes for Ojou-sama.
Levi: (puts a hand on his sisters shoulder as Marianna sweatdrops) Now now Browyne. Calm yourself.
Jasaiya: (stomach growling) Can we eat now? I'm hungry. I need to eat. Don't you all remember I'm hypoglycemic? I need sugar!!
Goyjo: (faints as he speaks) Big word!! Overwhelming brain!! I'm going down!!
Sanzo: (kicks Gojyo) Don't mind him. He's just stupid. Hey monkey, won't you do the same thing?
Goku: (stomach also growling) Nah, I don't think about it. Now I'm too hungry. Besides, that white haired kid is gonna get to the food before me!! (starts fighting Allen for the food)
Jasaiya: Thanks for coming everyone. Come continue to check my stories out. And don't be shy to review. I am currently working on the roughdraft for a Cyborg 009 story, which will be coming up after the New Earl. Again thanks to all who have read this. We don't do much for birthdays usually for me. Some cake, a few presents, maybe going out to dinner. That's about it. Anyway, TTYL!!