"Happy Birthday to you…"
The camera flashed as Thomas lazily blew out the candles on his birthday cake. The party was lame, sure. But it was the thought that counts, he thought to himself.
However, there is ONE other bright side to this party…
"Ohai, Thomas. Whatcha doin?" asked a bouncy, playful red-headed girl, looking over his shoulders. Thomas enjoyed that about his cousin. He enjoyed everything about her. From her sparkling eyes to her curvy hips, she was perfection in his eyes. She playfully traced his cheeks teasingly, and moved right next to his ear to whisper something in the most seductive way he could imagine.
"So, baby…you ready for your 'Surprise' later?" She smiled, and slowly and teasingly breathed down his shirt. Thomas shuddered.
"Marie… we're already d-dating…must you make me erect in public?" Thomas blushed and whispered, as not to be caught by their unsuspecting parents. Damnit, he was already hard, and the party still had 15 minutes left. Thomas sighed, and slowly grasped his cousin's soft, warm hand underneath the table.
Suddenly, the noise of a loud knock on the front door of Thomas's house was heard from the party room.
Phineas got up. "I'll get it." he said as he walked toward the door. He grasped the doorknob and slowly opened the door.. "Hello, can I….."
CRASH!
After a few moments of silence, a tall, tattoo- ridden man entered the room, a smirk evident on his face. He looked directly at Thomas and Marie with a gigantic smirk, and sat down.
"I'm sorry, but your father will not be joining us for this conversation…" he said happily. He laughed as he saw everyone's faces turn to terror. "And I have a few things to say about you two…"
Thomas stood up, frightened and angry. "Who the he…."
The man got up and slapped him hard.
"Sit down!" Thomas obeyed. "Now…." He said as he started to walk around the room.
"I hate you both. I hate everything about you guys, you bland, carbon copies of your parents. Normally, that would be good, but you two have no personality."
He stepped next to Marie, smiling psychotically.
"I've always envied you. You guys are the blandest, most uncultured pieces of trash that has ever existed. And to top it off….." he moves around the table to be on the opposite side of them. "You guys are motherfucking, inbred, stupid, uneducated Mary Sues!"
This unknown man jumps up on the table and smiles.
" Now, I'm not going to hold back…You guys are FAR more popular then me. You guys are somewhat canon, and you are well drawn, but that does not mean a damn thing if your creators don't stop shoving you down our motherfucking throats! No sane person enjoys your comics, which I can't read because they are in motherfucking Spanish! Your incest is clearly incest, believe it or not. You guys make the people at 4Kid's look like saints. I'm pretty sure your blandness can be applied to other's, but I'm here to put an end to your tyranny. I will cleanse all that is wrong from this motherfucking fandom. I am…..PHIL BROOKES!"
Ferb sighed and pulled out a gun, and shot the man in the head. Ferb proceeded to speak.
"What a nut with some valid points…" Ferb sighed again, and turned to Thomas and Marie.
"Kids, just go upstairs and fuck already. I don't care anymore." Ferb said as he walked over to Phineas and helped him up as Marie dragged Thomas upstairs eagerly…..