BETA READ by Lady Anemone & Queen Sunstar

WARNING: Cancer

Chapter 1: NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT

"Happy birthday, Emily!" Calleigh exclaimed as she carried her daughter on her hip in the kitchen, where a huge birthday cake with chocolate and whip cream was waiting for the two-year-old toddler girl. Horatio just lit the golden colored little candles on it. His daughter's eyes went big with surprise, seeing the little flames. Her mind couldn't understand that the flames had come from the safety match, which was now burned down to carbon between Horatio's fingers. Nevertheless, Emily still seemed to like the flames on the candles and screamed in pleasure, like only she could.

Horatio lovingly took his daughter from her mother and brought her to her birthday cake. "Blow, Emily..." He lowered himself as he showed her how to blow and his breath played with the little flames. Emily tried to imitate her father, but only seemed to be able to suck, instead of blow air. Calleigh chuckled, and lowered herself to the candles as well. She tucked her long golden locks behind her ear and blew some air in the direction of the flames, which made them play again. She turned to her toddler daughter. "See?"

Emily pulled some wrinkles in her forehead, indicating she really wasn't too happy with the situation, though her face lit up again as Elizabeth walked in the kitchen, too. "Morning to the three of you." Little Emily stretched out her arms to be picked up by Elizabeth and started to babble happily.

"Liz! Liz!"

"Hi, little princess," she said with a small smile, taking the toddler from her father. "Happy birthday." Emily suddenly didn't pay any attention to the birthday cake or her parents anymore.

Calleigh smiled. "You are not my best friend anymore?"

"Never was," Horatio said, "Because... I am," blowing out the bright orange flames on top of the golden colored candles both at the same time as his arms sneaked around her middle from behind and he pulled her close. She stroked a finger over the whip cream and put some on Horatio's nose as she turned around in the embrace. He pulled her in a very passionate kiss, so her nose was suddenly covered with whip cream too.

"Emily?" Calleigh tried, but her daughter didn't pay any attention to her. Her two parents just stood there like idiots with whip cream on their noses. Horatio licked the sweet, white substance from the tip of his wife's nose, and she did the same with him. She then turned to the birthday cake again and picked up the knife which laid aside it to cut eight pieces.

"Where's Tristan?" Horatio asked, as his wife skillfully cut the chocolate and whip cream birthday cake.

"Still snoring," Elizabeth answered, as Calleigh already finished cutting the cake, her fingers entirely covered in the white substance. She maneuvered to the sink, carefully put the dangerously large knife in there and started to lick her fingers.

"Don't keep everything for yourself, Mrs. Caine," Horatio teased as he playfully caught her wrists and pulled her to him, eagerly licking the whip cream. Calleigh purred; it felt heavenly to be called like that: Mrs. Caine. Both heard Elizabeth mumbling something about a 'midlife crisis'.

"You already going to eat cake this early?"

"Yes," Calleigh and Horatio replied at exactly the same moment. Emily's laughter filled the little kitchen, as Elizabeth teasingly tickled the toddler's tummy. Calleigh looked at the scene with a smile on her lips, but she still couldn't fool Horatio. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Calleigh sighed. "There could have been two."

"It isn't your fault, Calleigh."

"Then why do I still feel like that?"

"Because you can't expect to run before you are able to crawl," Horatio answered, looking in her green eyes. "Karma isn't always right." She locked her pure green eyes with his deep blue depths. "I'm rather stoic, and that might sound very insensitive sometimes."

"It doesn't. It sounds true."

Elizabeth suddenly seemed to lose her balance. She suddenly looked impossibly pale and was looking for support on the kitchen island. "I'm fine," she said, as Horatio's gaze fell upon her trembling figure. "I think I just stood up too fast." His piercing blue eyes showed his disbelief.

Emily was put on the floor and looked at Elizabeth confusedly.

"Sure?" Calleigh asked, missing the lie in her words.

Elizabeth nodded, trying to reassure the parents and trying to add a small smile, but it just didn't work. She felt her heartbeat pulsating fast in her head; the corners of her lips quivered and then... BANG!

"Elizabeth!" Calleigh exclaimed, as her eyes widened in panic.

The bang which could be heard as Elizabeth hit the kitchen floor hard, scared Emily very much. Her own blue depths immediately looked around the kitchen to find her parents, as she started crying, not understanding why Elizabeth suddenly lay on the floor and wasn't moving anymore.

The little girl's crying made the teenager regain her consciousness. The very first thing she registered was Horatio's soft voice, kindly pushing her back, as she unconsciously tried to sit in an upright position. She lay on her back with her eyes wide open, breathing heavily and confusedly staring at the ceiling first, before trailing to Horatio's face. Behind him, Elizabeth vaguely noticed little Emily being picked up by her mother, who was trying everything to soothe her daughter, which was obviously difficult, because she really looked like she needed to be soothed herself as well. She worried, and... rightly.

Horatio's fingers cautiously closed around the young mother's wrist, feeling a very fast heartbeat, which was likely way too high. A frown appeared between the lieutenant's eyebrows. Strange. You usually faint when your blood pressure gets too low, causing a very low heartbeat at the same time.

He stood up and navigated to the refrigerator to retrieve a can of cola, handing it to Elizabeth and telling her not to drink too fast.

O°O°O°O°

A few minutes after the cola, Elizabeth already sat upright on the kitchen tiles.

"You alright?" Calleigh asked, concern in every single word she said. She considered her younger half sister to be strong and it had been very unusual and scary to see her ending up in such a vulnerable state.

Liz nodded. "Positive," she added, seeing Calleigh's concern filled expression. In the background, the three adults heard Tristan Ilias' crying. Elizabeth pushed herself up with all the strength she had, and without any help, saying, "My little boy's awake, I believe."

"I'll go," Horatio suggested, but Liz immediately passed it off.

"I'm fine," she said, gently leaving the kitchen to check on her son, while Calleigh tried to shush her own daughter by quietly rocking her on her hip and rubbing her back.

"Sometimes," Horatio sighed as the stubborn girl left, looking at his wife meaningfully, "that one sentence drives me so nuts." She and Liz shared the same damn stubbornness.

O°O°O°O°

Elizabeth softly pushed the door of her bedroom open, navigating to the bright green infant bed. Elizabeth had bought almost everything in green, basically because she just didn't really want to follow the blue and pink hype. She wanted to be different... The crib stood at the end of Elizabeth's own bed, so she could immediately get to her son if the little one woke up at night, and prevent him from waking Emily with his crying as well.

"Hi, darling. Don't cry," Elizabeth said, giving the crying baby a faint little smile. "I'm here." When she reached out to lift her baby son out of his infant bed, she suddenly felt quite dizzy again and sought for support on the edge of Tristan's crib. The whole room was spinning before her eyes, and she just couldn't seem to find that edge...

Right then, Elizabeth fully realized something was wrong. She already had the same dizzy feeling for a couple of months, but it just hadn't been as strong as this yet. This was the last thing she thought of before she lost consciousness for the second time in barely one hour. When Horatio and Calleigh, downstairs, heard the big bang, both of them immediately realized what must had happened.

O°O°O°O°

Calleigh, standing in the doorway of Emily's toy room, instinctively turned her head for a quart to look at her recent husband, who had his arms lovingly draped around her figure, with a worried expression on her angelic face. His expression showed exactly the same emotions as hers, as Horatio turned around to run upstairs with his wife in his wake. Emily was just trying to get a good sound out of the little xylophone Horatio had bought for his little girl for her first birthday, and was so focused on it she didn't even notice her parents leaving her doorway.

They hurried up the stairs to Elizabeth's room, and Horatio lowered himself on the one side of the eighteen-spring-old, while Calleigh tried to calm the baby down. She didn't succeed, and sank down beside her husband, with tears of despair in her green eyes. He confidently took her small hand, and squeezed it rather softly. "Don't worry, sweetheart," Horatio spoke, "We are going to take her to the hospital, so someone can tell us immediately what's wrong."

His wife looked at him directly, and saw the truth in his blue depths. She nodded. "Who's going to stay with the babies?"

"Maybe we could ask Janeau. And then I'm going to inform the others they won't be expecting us at the lab for the rest of the day anymore, and as long as we aren't sure Liz is going to be alright."

Calleigh looked up at her husband with nervous eyes. "Thank you."

O°O°O°O°

The way to the hospital had been fast to start with. Janeau had taken only ten minutes to get to the DuCaine apartment to care for Emily, and Liz' little baby boy as his mommy was being brought to the E.R.

They had done loads of tests. And Elizabeth felt more like a pincushion at the moment. Doctor Martinez walked into the room and noticed her patient had fallen asleep. Likely due to the mass of tests she had undergone that morning. Little Tristan Ilias was lying onto her breast.

Liz had been asking for her son. And while she had been taken away for examination and tests, Horatio and Calleigh had gone back home to get some clothes for her, because she would have to stay overnight at least. And they had brought the little one along. His little hands had immediately clenched into fists, and he didn't even think about letting go of his mommy's nightgown.

"Sometimes, I would like to be as peaceful as he is," Calleigh whispered, sinking back against her husband, who had his strong arms lovingly draped around her frame, pointing at Tristan Ilias, not having noticed the doctor had entered.

Doctor Martinez beckoned the couple that had brought her patient to the E.R., and led them to her office on the other side of the hallway, where the examination rooms were located.

O°O°O°O°

There, she first closed the blinds to block out the red and orange colors the Miami sunset brought. Then, she offered the two cops a chair on the opposite of her desk, behind which she took place herself. "In most cases, you lose consciousness if your heart isn't pumping fast enough, and your heartbeat is too low," she started. "But, there's also another possible cause, which says you can faint if your heart beat is too fast, too. We are talking about something like one hundred eighty beats per minute, which is extremely high."

Calleigh glanced at her husband briefly. She didn't have much with Medicine, but understood a heart rate that fast couldn't be anything less than dangerous.

"A low heart rate is often caused by exhaustion, sometimes by lack of vitamins, while a high one can be caused by stress and trauma. According to the recent happening in Miss Delaney's life, which were all quite tragic and likely had some more impact, we believe she could be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder."

Now it was the lieutenant's time to glance at his wife, but neither of them spoke.

"It is be possible she has been in some kind of a shock during the past months, which prevented it all from pushing through her mind. No kind of lingering shock is permanent, though. And I would like to believe she's gradually starting to realize, and is blocking it all out, because she's mentally not capable of dealing with it. Did she talk to you about something like that lately?"

Both denied. Elizabeth was a very closed person to start with. If something was going on, you really had to drag it out of her. Liz mainly didn't want anyone to worry about her. She thought she was someone who wasn't worth being worried about.

She was used to living her life like a ghost. And it had become so different over the last few months. There were people who cared now; who wondered about her wellbeing all the time.

"She likely tries to repress it all, because it hurts so much."

"She already did just that from the first moment, I'm sure," Calleigh whispered. "Otherwise, Tristan would have never survived."

"That's possible," the doctor replied calmly, "but the best option to deal with such kind of trauma is to just let it come. You can't really postpone the pain without any professional psychological help."

"Every time something reminds her of the crash or the burn, she puts herself up incredibly defensive, and gets really upset. That's why we almost never started about it."

"That sounds like a good choice to me."

"I'm sure she realizes she could talk to us about anything," Horatio continued, "but she just never acted on it."

Doctor Martinez nodded in understanding and sighed. "The results of the blood tests should be in tomorrow. You two will be the first to inform if anything strange pops up, but I highly doubt that this could be… Anyway, I will keep you posted."

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

There were some strange things going on with her blood values, though. The pattern entirely consisted with the last stages of acute leukemia… mostly considered to be quite aggressive. To be completely sure about the diagnosis, there would have to be a bone marrow examination, which was the only thing that could give confirmation or decisive answer.

It was still very early when the needle was stuck into Liz' lower back, and she grasped her half sister's hand tightly, tears rimming at the edges of her eyes as she snapped them shut. Horatio was there as well. He was sitting on the other side and caressed her shoulder lightly, seeing the long thin needle disappear into the young mom's spine.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

According to the urge and subject of the test, the lab had done an extra effort. The results of the bone marrow came in the same evening. They were... shattering. Crushing.

Elizabeth didn't show any kind of emotion as the doctor told her she was going to die, though. She just asked her how much time she still had. "Let's not run ahead of things," was the immediate reply.

"I would like to hear how much."

"Four months," Doctor Martinez concluded. "Maybe we could prolong it for another two months with some pills, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can still do. I'm sorry."

"Is there a chance I'm going to survive this?"

"The kind of leukemia you have, is a very aggressive–" "I thought I asked you if there's a chance I'm going to survive this, and not to update me on how bad I'm doing."

"The chance is particularly small."

"But it exists?"

"Yes. Although–" "Thank you," Liz answered in that one self-assured tone, which was only very rarely heard. She thought about her little baby boy, and how hard her son had fought for a life. "Then I'm going to survive, too. I'm going to get better."

"And a bone marrow transplant? Elizabeth's my half sister and I could be a match to–" "That's impossible." Calleigh looked… devastated. "I'm sorry, but the leukemia has already progressed too much. And even if you are a match, Miss Delaney wouldn't be strong enough for such a radical operation."

"This can't be happening!" Calleigh uttered. "Is there nothing? It already cost me more than seventeen years to find my sister, and now…" She fell into her husband's arms, and started crying uncontrollably.

"Calleigh…"