The sorting of the hat is not arguable, despite what some people claim.
Here's why.
When you knock over a glass of water at the dinner table there are probably a million ways for everyone to respond.
The most frequent are those: Trying to help. Not being bothered at all and continue your conversation with the bloody ghost. Or, like Regina, giving the death glare to that stupid idiot who disrupted her carefully set dishes. Annoyance. Anger. No one can change who they are and Regina will always impulsively feel rage cooking up inside her. Regina feels it, deep down and usually, she can't jump out of her skin.
So yes, no surprise there when she landed in Slytherin on her first day, whereas sweet little snowball Mary Margret, for example, became a Gryffindor.
Why she cares, even though the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms are separated by a solid number of 8 stair flights?
This summer, her dumb ass classmate managed to hook up with one of the Gryffindors in their year, Emma Swan. Tall, blonde and, in spite of everything, also able to stand her ground. The Swan girl wasn't the worst of them, Regina was gonna give her that.
And how could she, when the unfortunate fraternization did not only bring her over to their table, the Slytherin table, so she and Killian could dine together, but also Mary Margret was the most precious flower ever to have walked the grounds, with her dresses and colors and her perfectly charming boyfriend, who knightly saves Regina's pumpkin juice from being unwillingly spritzed. Regina secretly calls him Charming in her head because he just can't help himself with being nice to everyone, his real name is David. He is seated opposite to her, his worst half beside him and those two were the ones immediately jumping to help when the damage was done.
And the school year has just started.
"This is exactly the reason your hiny should be seated three tables to the left!", Regina hisses and glares some more at the boy who just sat down beside Charming. Or, tried to sit, when he reached for a bread slice in the movement, wetted the table in the process and now half sitting, half standing looks back at Regina. A smirk surfaces, revealing deep dimples that knock Regina right in the gut. Why did he have to be so damn handsome?
"I'm sorry, have I been bothering you? You could just, you know, sit with your other friends. Oh, wait ..." He grins fully after his comment, falling on the bench with a plop and reaching for the ham, not letting Regina out of his sight while he spreads generous amounts of butter on it.
Damn those damn Gryffindor, eating their food and disturbing her dinner time with uncalled water and dimples. She really needs to do something about them, Regina thinks, and remembers at the same time, that there isn't anything she can do. It's not like 50 years ago, where the seating order was strictly separated between the houses, some time before that even between boys and girls. Oh, how she wishes those times back right now.
"For the record, I do have other friends. They'd eat you for breakfast, so don't make me make them come over", she bites and smiles on her inside joke with herself. Maleficent dislikes the new dinner company even more than Regina, which is why she was with Cruella and Ursula tonight. Admittedly, she was not the most reliable when it comes to friends.
"I know your other friend. She's ... um, kind of scary", Mary Margret interrupts Regina's thoughts. Regina rolls her eyes and puts down her silverware.
"If I were you, I'd run, if you ever meet her in a dark alley", she says and Mary Margret looks shocked before she tries for a unsure giggle. "Funny", she mutters and concentrates on her plate forcefully. Regina grins and gets up.
"Leaving already?", Robin asks. "I only just got here, I won't be able to sleep if I don't get your full sass tonight."
"You'll survive", Regina says and checks her watch. Hook turns around to her for a moment and looks questioning. "I got a sexy potion assignment to spend the night with, can't leave it waiting", she tells him and leaves for the dungeons.
...
Exactly one week later on Monday, nothing has changed. Regina is still bothered by the usual crew, all sitting at the Slytherin table like they've done this since forever, like they belong. Even Cruella pays them no mind anymore, putting her head together with Ursula about some gossip that occurred in the astronomy tower last night.
Everything is the same except one thing. Robin is not there. And he usually is, he has never missed a meal since Regina can recall. Not that she was watching him, just that he was hard to miss in his group of guys, laughing and cheering about ravenous jokes or winking at girls. She tells herself not to wallow over it, none of her business.
She can't bring herself to ask any of her table neighbors about Robins whereabouts but apparently she's not the only one who isn't in the clear. When John, one of Robins fellow acquaintances, comes over to their table for some more chocolate cake (no surprise there), Mary Margret does ask the question Regina's been avoiding. John shrugs and grins stupidly, muttering about a girl and alone time. The moment it was out of his mouth, Regina's mind runs wild.
This isn't a surprise, really, he was bound to get a girlfriend again eventually, with his charm and his looks and goddamn, why does she care? Regina lets down her knife and gets up in a rush. She doesn't know why, she just needs to go. Somewhere less crowded, perhaps, or some place where she can punch a stupid guy in the face for making her feel like this. Or slip him a potion. There's an idea.
She ignores Killian's and Emma's questioning stares and Charming's 'see you tomorrow', almost runs down the ail to the entrance and then she is running, holding back tears as best as she can until she is safe, in the potions classroom.
Before she realizes, she's already crashed into something, or someone, apparently about to leave the room she just came in. The heavy door closes with a thrash behind her and Regina goes from angry over shocked to embarrassed when she sees just who exactly she had run into.
"Regina!", Robin exclaims.
"I was just leaving, are you all right?" He can see through her, Regina realizes and her answer, a breathy yes is not helping her cause.
She can feel the tears on her cheek, hastily moving a hand to wipe them away and suddenly Robin is close, so close to doing it for her, she can see it in his eyes, all concerned and gentlemanly, different then when they are with their (his friends). He doesn't, though. Doesn't touch her, and Regina is grateful for that. She could never forgive him for the humiliation.
"Aren't you supposed to be on a date, of some kind?", she hears herself ask, voice still not like herself, shaky and too high.
"Oh, well. She just left. And you'll be pleased to hear that it didn't work out. Something to mock me for when you'll feel up for it."
He's going for a joke, she knows that, but it comes out all wrong and suddenly Regina can see that he's not in his best form either, standing in front of her with hanging shoulders and not a spark in his eyes. He looks ... hurt.
"Don't worry. I won't pursue this, if you won't, either. Our secret?", he offers. For her part, she would not have mentioned this to anyone, anyway, so she agrees with a little relieve.
"So, do you want to talk about it?", he asks.
Regina clears her throat. "No. You?" Her voice sounds better, now.
He lets out a bitter laugh. Whatever happened, it's all wrong, seeing the cheerful guy so moody.
"No. She was a bitch", he says.
"I could have told you that. Who did you meet here, by the way?" He laughs again at that, but for real. Regina notices that she likes the sound of that.
"Zelena." That was worse than she anticipated. Why in earth would he go on a date with that bitch? And in her classroom, nonetheless.
"I better be going, then." He smiles one last time at her and reaches around her for the handle.
"Right. See you!", Regina says, letting him pass, a little smile on her lips, too.
"See you at breakfast, Milady."
Regina rolls her eyes at his title for her and shuts the door after him.
...
He keeps her secret, it seems. The next days Regina carefully avoids being in a room with Robin for too long, scared and angry about her sudden outburst of feelings she never was able to admit to herself. Somehow, over the years of quarreling with him, he had gotten under her skin and all she could do was wallow over it. Him, of all people. She just had to crush on the Gryffindor who annoyed her most of all. Or maybe she was annoyed because she liked him.
She couldn't get him out of her head completely, but she could try to avoid him as much as possible.
Nevertheless she finds herself in his presents more often than not, sharing a total amount of 4 classes with him. Late night studying in the library usually also meant finding him close by, so for the following week she manages to skip the library all together.
Unfortunately, but by the end of the week, her pile of homework does have a undeniable height, one that has to be taken on sooner or later.
Regina finishes as much as she can in the common room, the lake dark around her when she's finally the last one there (certainly not the last Slytherin up and about, since Killian was not back yet).
When she is in desperate need for paperback assistance she signs audibly and makes her way to the library. She knows (hopes) to be the only one taking her study there tonight. It was almost midnight, after all.
Regina manages to get to page 23, excactly, when she hears a familiar crack and swoosh as the door is opened and closed again. She has no way of knowing who it could be until he walks around the shelves, drawn by the light of her lantern, no doubt. Robin Locksley. Again.
"Hey", she says before he even reaches her table. A smile forms on his lips when he recognizes her.
"Should have known it was you, you haven't been here all week, are you catching up?"
"Potions", she says with a hint to the books before her. "I'm supposed to know all 111 incredients of the Forgetting Potion by Monday."
"Oh, well, I wish I could help you with that, but, potions aren't really my thing", he says. True, that. She's seen him blow up his cauldron more often than she'd liked in the five years Gryffindors and Slytherins were taught together in that subject.
"I figured. Why are you here?"
"Oh, um. No reason. Just getting a book..."
"You can't take the books, otherwise Mrs Pince knows they are missing!"
"I know. Right. How are your studies going? Are you done soon?"
"Right now, I know 11. I'm afraid I'll be awhile."
"Do you want company?" Without waiting for an answer Robin grabs the chair next to hers and sits. "I have some free time." Regina groans internally. That's not how you get work done. She throws her pile of books a look and then focuses her attention back to Robin. She highly suspected an ulterior motive on his part here.
"Robin what are you up to? You did not come here for a book and you certainly would be no help to me. Spill it out!"
"What, you don't believe me that I simply want to spend some time with you after you've avoided me all week? Like I said, can't sleep without a good dose of Regina Mills Sass." Is he actually flirting with her? Now? At midnight?
"I haven't been avoiding and you did not answer my question", she lies. Good god, if he could just stop looking at her like that.
"Caught. I was up to pranking Will. But change of plans. I rather enjoy ruffing your feathers for a change." Great, just great. Smug bastard.
"Is Will coming here, too?" Last of what she wants is the bunch of Merry Men to her midnight feast.
"No! I was gonna hide a book he needs for something tomorrow. No worries, you've got me all to yourself." He's smirking now. "Go ahead, study. I'll quiz you in two minutes."
Regina chooses the best way to get rid of him, is to follow his orders.
So she searches for the line she was at and reads. Or, pretends to, while her mind is going crazy.
After about 30 seconds she allows herself to look up and finds him watching her intently. There's no way she can remember a word she just read. Maybe talking wasn't the worst idea after all.
"Robin?", Regina asks. "Can I ask you a question?"
"You can, but I won't guarantee an answer."
"Why Zelena?", Regina asks bluntly.
Zelena was a Slytherin, like herself, but somehow Regina never warmed up to her, like she has to Killian. The redhead was no one to make friends, just crashing parties and jinxing first years when she got the chance, to laugh to herself.
"Well, she asked, I'm not supposed to say no to a pretty girl, am I?"
Men. So simple.
"But she's awful. You know that."
"Why do you care, Regina? Jealous, are we?", he jokes.
Regina's face drops immediately. Damn.
"No!" Were are her acting skills when she needs them? Has that been convincing? Better add an evil glare so he knows not to mess with her. Doesn't work, though. His face lights up in disbelieve.
"You are? I mean, you were jealous?" Is he actually enjoying this?
Regina really wishes to vanish into thin air that moment. But those bans around Hogwarts are making it rather hard on her.
Maybe, just maybe, it was time to face the music.
"OK. I might have been a little, tiny bit jealous about the fact that everyone is screwing around and I'm left with the Charmings to eat with! The Charmings, of all people, Robin." There's nothing embarrassing about this, is there? No need to add the death wish she has had specifically reserved for Zelena.
"First of all, Charmings? You mean David and Mary Margret?" Regina nods and watches him. He is rather amused by her. Maybe not seeing him was a mistake, maybe him, here, laughing and talking was exactly what she needed to get over him.
Somehow, during her confession, he's managed to close the distance between them, his arm slightly brushing hers when he's leaning in. Regina finds she quite likes him up close. His smell is intoxicating. Something fresh and earthy, like a forest after the rain.
The next thing she knows is his lips on hers, warm and soft and so much better than she had thought it would be. Her hand barely has time to reach up to his shoulder when he breaks the kiss.
He breaks it, but he doesn't move away from her, like he is checking. And when he comes into focus, she realizes that he is, checking for her approval, to see if she was gonna slap him for that, or worse. She should, she thinks, but something in his eyes is making her reach for him, her hand at the back of his head, guiding his mouth back on hers and this time the kiss is different.
More heat, more passion, her tongue on his lower lip and then his against hers. She moans quietly at the sensation, he tastes sweet and sour, like wine and chocolate and peppermint and she, for the love of god cannot stop kissing him, does not want to, not ever, but eventually they have to break away for air, both breathing audibly with tangled arms and fast beating hearts where their torsos are pressed together.
His eyes are still closed when she opens her own and waits for him to do the same.
"Wow", Robin whispers into the space between them. Little. Very little, just so that they can see each other, slightly blurry, but smiling. She takes her hand out of his hair letting it fall on his arm and then the table and straightens her back a little. He's coming into better vision now, slightly moving on his chair to face her better and he's also the first to recover from their make-out session.
"If I had known you'd be such a good kisser, we'd have done this sooner", Robin states.
"Did you have the peppermint cake for desert?", Regina can't help but ask and he chuckles. "I knew it was good for something. Did you like it?"
"I do now", she admits.
"I'm wondering, if you don't mind, are you done studying?"
He sounds eager for more and to be honest, Regina doesn't care about the books anymore, is too caught up in the post-kissing, just nods and lets him have this moment.
The third kiss makes him bold and adventurous, his mouth exploring her neck after a few minutes of tongue on tongue and she quite likes it. "No hickeys", is all she can manage to say before letting herself give in to the warm and wet sensation that was his tongue along her pulse point, behind her ear, then moving down again until he reaches her collarbone.
His hands wander her body as best as he can reach, scabbing along her back, never resting, drawing circles and lines up and down, up and down.
They do this for what feels like forever and Regina has lost all sense of time, can only feel Robin tasting her skin (or, what he can reach of it) and how wet she is. Only a little at first, when her breasts have been pressed against Robins chest, but then he had begun to massage her spine and minutes later she could feel herself dripping and the lack of attention was killing her.
Their legs were tangled somehow, under the table, but Regina had no way of knowing if he was aroused, with their lower body parts not touching.
When she thinks she can't handle it anymore, she stops him with hands and one second, makes him loose the contact and rearranges them on his chair, her straddling his lap and then she can feel it, him, hard, right against where she needed him.
The rocking came without thinking, both a little too riled up to stop one another and very soon they were grinding against each other to get some friction. Regina had never meant for it to go this far, had not imagined dry-humping a Griffindor when she had left her common room earlier, but here they were and it felt so good.
"Can I, ..." Robins breathy voice throws Regina back into the reality and for a moment she thinks he asks to call it off, to just leave her here with that need, but no, he was asking her permission to touch her breasts.
"Uhu", is all she can manage and he looks at her, somehow relieved and exited at the same time. Her mouth comes crashing against his again before one of his hands moves to her front, cupping her, caressing her, and the sensation has her moaning again, louder this time.
"Regina", he says, voice deep with arousal. She knows what he wants, she wants it too. She breaks their rhythm and unbuttons her blouse, chuckling at Robins clumsy try to help. She lets him take in the sight of her for a few seconds before her bra lands on the floor beside the blouse and his mouth is on her in moments, licking at her hardening peak, then switch and repeat. Regina moans for him and then tucks on his shirt.
"Fairs fair", she laughs at his irritated face for interrupting him on her.
He resumes his previous task enthusiastically when she's done with his shirt and it makes her feel unbelievably sexy and hot and she can't imagine what his cock might feel like in her.
"I want you, Robin", she moans. He stops grinding against her and looks up.
"I want you, too." She knows, he's hard and he's made her breasts spit damp, they could just, they should just get on with it.
She entangles herself from him, standing shakily on her feet and Robin raises with her, trying to stabilize her. She makes quick work of her shoes and jeans, leaving only black panties for Robin to look at.
"You're so beautiful", he says. And she believes him.
She smiles sweetly at him and when she reaches for his jeans zipper, draws it open and takes him in hand for the first time, he groans. He helps her get rid of his remaining clothes before Regina lets him walk her back against her studying table, lift her up and come to a stand before her. He's looking at her. Not just like that, but like she's the sun and he would risk getting burned just to touch her.
"Come here", she whispers and he follows, mouths finding each other, bare bodies pressed together, until Regina cannot tell were she ends and he begins. His erection is hot and hard against her belly, her panties damp from her own arousal and she wants him so bad, can't form a proper thought in her head, just feels him everywhere and wants. She reaches down and tugs on her underwear until Robin gets the message, helps her get bare down there, too, and suddenly he's lined up with her and she encourages, yes, yes before he's even said anything.
"Are you sure?", he asks and Regina has to force herself to look up to him, away from his penis against her entrance, nods again and adds a breathy "a little late for that now."
He smiles and groans when she reaches for him and sinks him into her, slowly, deliciously. He feels amazing and she takes all of him and moans and rocks against him to accommodate.
"Good?", he asks and Regina presses her lips on his as an answer.
He starts trusting, long and slow, head on her shoulder, arms holding her against him every bit as much as she presses him to her, the sound of her breathy moaning, his groans and skin meeting skin in her ears everything she needs right now.
One of his hands finds it's way between them, searching and finding her clit and Regina is in heaven.
He's doing so good, found an angle that's fueling her orgasm already and rushing her towards the end when he picks up the pace, steadily, getting quicker as they get louder, his fingers massaging her clit lightly, but it's enough, it's everything, Regina's toes begin to curl when the muscles in her body all give in at the same time and she comes, is coming while he still fucks her hard and she still needs him inside her, needs him to ride it out.
He holds out for her, doesn't come even after she's completely satisfied. He pulls out of her when she rests her head on his shoulder, and she reaches for him, wet as he is from being inside her, pumps him a few times and kisses his neck when he groans loudly and spills on her tight.
His blue eyes find hers after a minute of coming to their senses and he looks like she feels, sated and exhausted and happy.
The realization will come later, that they had sex in the library, where anyone could have walked in on them, that he's a Gryffindor and this absolutely cannot be, but for now they just look at each other in bliss and Robin states, "So, you like me, then."