Sam had been looking forward to his first day of school for a long time.
Dean had started a few years ago, and his whole life, Sam had wanted nothing more than to join him. He had still been a baby when Dean had first gone, but he still had plenty of memories of sitting at Bobby's all day, just waiting for Dean to get home from school. His favorite memories were from when Dean had been in the third grade. Sam should've been in preschool, but Dad didn't think he needed preschool, and he was too busy to bother enrolling him anyway. He probably would've kept Dean home too, if he could.
It was always the best when Dean got home from school. Dean would pull out a bunch of extra snacks he had taken when the teacher wasn't looking, and they'd eat them while Dean told Sam about his day. He would complain about having to learn fractions, or that he wasn't allowed to use his pocketknife during recess, or that none of the girls would talk to him because he had cooties, and Sam loved every moment of it. Dean told him about the school library once, and Sam couldn't believe his ears: an entire room full of books, and he could just take as many has he could carry and spend as much time as he wanted reading them. Bobby had lots of books, but they were old and fragile and Sam wasn't allowed to touch them. Dean had been taking story books from the library and trying to teach Sam to read with them, but Sam was having trouble with it. So many of the letters looked just the same.
"When you start going to school, your teacher can help you," Dean had assured him. "She'll be lots better than me."
Sam had trouble believing there was anyone smarter than Dean, except maybe Dad or Bobby. Dean knew how to count to a hundred, and how to pay at the grocery store, and he knew how to read, and as far as Sam was concerned, that made him really smart.
That summer, Dean was due to start fourth grade, and Dad finally signed Sam up for kindergarten. Sam spent the whole summer asking Dean questions, making sure he would be prepared.
"Dean, can you teach me fractions?"
"You won't need to know fractions, Sammy. That's big kid stuff."
"Will everyone else already know how to read?"
"Some kids will, but you'll be fine."
"Will I really get to see the library?"
"Of course, Sammy."
The morning of his first day, Sam got up extra early. He dressed himself, and tried to tie his shoes on his own, and even started to make his own breakfast before Bobby came down and told him to go back to bed, because it was four in the morning and school didn't start for a long time. Sam went back to his room, but he couldn't sleep anymore. He was too excited that he could finally go to school with his brother.
When it was finally, finally time to go, Dean took Sam's hand and they walked to the bus stop. It was a long walk, too, because there wasn't a bus stop close to Bobby's house. They waited a few minutes with a couple other kids (although those kids were all waiting with their moms and dads) before a big, yellow bus came. Sam and Dean quickly got on while the other kids said goodbye to their parents.
There were lots of kids on the bus already, screaming and laughing and throwing pieces of paper at each other. Dean let Sam sit next to the window before sliding next to him. Some of the kids gave Dean funny looks, but most of them just ignored him. Sam looked around and tried to figure out what other kids were kindergarteners, too, and wondered if they would be in his class.
"Hi, Dean!"
A girl with red hair and lots of freckles popped up in the seat in front of them. She smiled real big and one of her front teeth was missing. Dean didn't smile back.
"Is this your little brother?" she asked, looking at Sam with wide eyes. Sam was a little afraid of her; she was loud and bigger than him. She was almost as big as Dean.
"Yeah, this is Sam," Dean mumbled.
"Hi, Sam!" she squealed. "I'm Allie. Dean is my boyfriend."
"I am not your boyfriend," Dean immediately snapped. Sam tried to hide his smile but couldn't.
Allie stuck her tongue out at Dean before turning back around.
"She's been in every class of mine since I started going here," Dean complained. "And she won't stop telling people that I'm her boyfriend."
Although Dean was really annoyed, Sam found this very funny. The bus finally started to move and it felt like an hour before they finally got to the school (although Dean said it was only about ten minutes). When they got out, Dean walked Sam inside and showed him around.
"This is the gym," he said, pointing at it as they walked past, "and this is the cafeteria. Kindergartners don't get lunch yet, but you'll get to use it next year."
At the end of his tour, Dean took Sam into a brightly-colored room, with lots of little desks and one big desk. Dean told him it was his classroom for the year. All the little desks had these things with writing on them; Dean said they were name tags. He asked if Sam thought he could find his own and Sam immediately went from desk to desk, looking for his own name. He almost passed it, but recognized it just in time. Sam only knew how to spell a few words, but his own name was one of them. He sat down at his desk eagerly; he couldn't believe this was really his very own desk for the whole year.
The lady who had been sitting at the big desk came over to Sam and Dean. Sam saw that she was young and had dark hair and was wearing a striped sweater. She looked very friendly, and smiled kindly at Sam as she approached them.
"Hello," she said. Her voice was soft and Sam immediately liked her. "Are you Sam?"
Sam nodded, suddenly too nervous to talk.
"I'm Miss Adams; I'm your teacher," she told him.
Sam continued to stare at her until Dean nudged him. "C'mon, Sammy, say hi."
Sam squeaked out a greeting before Miss Adams turned to Dean.
"Are you his brother?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm Dean," he said.
"What grade are you in?"
"Fourth."
"If you want to go play with your friends until class starts, you can go. Sam will be fine here with me."
Dean shook his head. "That's okay. I'll stay with him until the bell rings."
Miss Adams nodded and gave the boys another smile before going to greet another kid who had come in, holding his mom's hand and looking around nervously.
Like he said he would, Dean stayed and talked with Sam while all the other kids came in. Sam looked around and saw that they all had a parent with them; some kids were even crying and begging their mommies or daddies to stay while Miss Adams tried to assure them that they would have fun and it would be okay. The bell rang and Dean had to go, wishing Sam luck before leaving. The parents that filled the room didn't leave, because they didn't have a class to go to.
And Sam was all alone.
Miss Adams went to the front of the room and started talking, and Sam tried really hard to pay attention, but the boy next to him was one of the crying kids, and his dad was trying to calm him down, and it made it hard for Sam to listen.
Eventually, the parents all left, and Sam was even with the other kids again. Miss Adams asked how many kids knew how to read. Almost everybody raised their hands, and Sam felt all alone again.
The rest of the day wasn't so bad; they got to listen to a story and draw a few pictures. Sam started talking to the boy next to him once he stopped crying, and he was actually really nice. His name was Todd, and he told Sam all about his family: Todd's dad was a doctor, and his mom was a nurse, but he didn't have any siblings. They lived in a really big house and had a pool in the backyard and Todd was learning how to swim. Todd had two dogs and a hamster named Twinkie, and he asked Sam if he had any pets. Sam said no. Todd asked about Sam's dad, and Sam told him how his dad liked to hunt. Todd said his parents didn't like guns and killing animals. Then Todd asked about his mom, and Sam told him he didn't have a mom. Todd asked why, but Sam didn't answer. He still wasn't sure why he didn't have a mom; Dad never said anything about her, and Bobby just said she was in a better place. When Sam asked Dean what that meant, Dean had threatened to knock him into last week if he asked again. So Sam kept his questions to himself.
Todd asked if Sam had a brother or sister, and Sam told him all about Dean. Todd was very excited by all his stories, and told Sam he had always wanted a brother, but just got a hamster instead.
Before Sam knew it, his first day was over, and all the kids hurried to the buses to go home. Except kindergarten ended at a different time than fifth grade, and Sam didn't know if he could go without Dean. He didn't think he could find his way from the bus stop to Bobby's house on his own. He started to feel panicked when Dean came running out of the school.
"I have lunch now," he explained, "so I'm gonna take you home, okay?"
Sam instantly felt relieved to have his brother by his side again. They sat together on the bus and Sam told Dean all about Crying Todd and his pool and his hamster, and the story Miss Adams told them, and about all the pictures he got to draw.
When they reached the bus stop, Sam got to listen as Dean told him about the first half of his day as they walked back to Bobby's. Allie was in his class again and her desk was next to his and she kept passing him love notes during class, and his teacher this year didn't seem as funny as his teacher from last year, and Dean didn't get to listen to a story or draw pictures.
They finally got to Bobby's, and while Sam went inside by himself, Dean walked back to get on the bus with all the kindergartners who went in the afternoon. By the time he got back, he would've missed lunch. Sam felt bad for making Dean miss his favorite part of the school day, but Dean had insisted that he didn't want Sam to have to walk all the way from the bus stop to Bobby's by himself.
When Sam got inside, Bobby was watching TV, but stopped to ask how his day was. Sam told him all about it, from the bus stop to all the moms and dads to Dean walking him home.
"I'm sorry your dad couldn't go with you," Bobby told him. "He would if he wasn't so busy."
Sam understood, kind of. His dad was busy a lot. "When does Dad get home?"
"He should be back any day now," Bobby assured him.
Sam spent the rest of his day trying to read while he waited for Dean. When Dean finally came home, he was in a bad mood. Some of the other boys were making fun of him when they saw him get off the bus with all the afternoon kindergartners, and he had promised Bobby he wouldn't get into any fights this year, so he just had to sit and take it. Sam said he was sorry, but Dean told him not to worry about it.
The next day was better. Miss Adams started helping kids that didn't know how to read yet, and Sam already felt like he was getting a lot better. Miss Adams told them that she'd show them the library next week, and Sam was so excited, he spent almost all of his free time practicing his reading. He wanted to be able to read a book from the library on his own, and couldn't wait to show Dean that he could...
Sam ended up not having the chance. Dad came home, and he and Bobby had a fight. There was a lot of yelling. Afterwards, Dad came into Sam and Dean's room and told them they were going home. The boys packed up their things, got into Dad's big black car, and left Bobby's.
"What about school?" Sam had asked Dean nervously. Bobby's house was in South Dakota, but home was in Kansas. Sam was afraid they weren't close enough for him to go to school the next day.
"Don't worry about it," Dean had told him. "Dad'll go on another trip soon, and we'll go back to Bobby's then, and then you can go back to school. You'll only miss a few days."
Sam had accepted this explanation, but it turned out not to be true. Now that Sam could go to school during the day, and Dean was nine years old and could watch out for him the rest of the time, Dad was going to start taking them on his trips. After a few days at home, they packed up again and drove for a really long time. When they finally stopped, Dean said they were in California. Sam asked if it was close to school, and felt his heart sink when Dean said no.
They stayed in a motel, and Sam didn't like it much. The bed wasn't as nice as his one at home or at Bobby's, and the room smelled funny. The boys spent Saturday and Sunday mostly alone. Sam asked what Dad was doing, but Dean said he didn't want to know. When Sam insisted he did, Dean told him to stop asking. When Sam kept asking anyway, Dean told him to shut up or he'd make him shut up.
Sam shut up.
When Dad came home Sunday night, he told the boys they'd be going to school the next day. Sam got really excited until he found out it was going to be a different school.
Sam ended up not liking this school as much. All the other kids had made friends already and didn't say a lot to him, and Mrs. Richards wasn't as nice as Miss Adams. This school had started earlier, and the other kids were way ahead of him in learning how to read. Sam couldn't keep up. He was relieved when, after a week of classes, Dad told them they were going home.
While they were driving, Sam spoke up. "Dad, can you teach me to read?"
Dad looked back in the rearview mirror, giving Sam a confused look. "Don't they teach that at school?"
"Most of the other kids already know how to read," said Sam. "And I keep missing all the lessons."
"Did your brother try to help you?"
Dean shrank back in his seat. "I've been trying, but-"
"Dean, if your brother is having trouble in school, you have to help him," Dad snapped.
"Yessir," Dean mumbled. Sam felt bad for getting Dean in trouble.
Over the next few months, they went on more trips, and Sam started getting more and more frustrated with school, as he was getting more and more behind every time he went to a different kindergarten. He kept coming in halfway through a long story or in the middle of an arts project, and he was always missing the reading lessons.
Dean started working really hard with him, and Sam finally started to get the hang of it. In fact, Sam started getting really good at it. By the twelfth kindergarten Sam had been to, he was the best reader in the class. His teacher, Mr. Brooks, had given him a sticker for it.
The rest of the year passed by slowly. Sam liked that he got to see his dad more, but he didn't like traveling so much. Even though he was better at school now, he didn't like switching schools so often. Sometimes he'd get to stay for two weeks, but other times he was only there a few days. Sometimes the other kids would be nice to him, but at some schools he got made fun of for being the new kid until Dean threatened them to knock it off. Sam was glad to have a big fourth-grader for a brother.
At Sam's last kindergarten, they were having a graduation ceremony for all the kids. They would get a certificate telling them they had passed kindergarten, and there would be cupcakes and punch, and all the kids could bring their parents. Sam had been really excited for it, but Dad finished whatever he was doing early, and they left town the day before the ceremony. Dean knew Sam was really disappointed about it, so when they stopped for gas, he stole a few candy bars from the minimart to cheer Sam up.
"So, Sammy, what'd you think of your first year of school?" Dean asked
Sam thought about it. "I like learning," he said. "I just don't like school very much."
Dean laughed at that. "What's the difference? You go to school to learn, don't you?"
Sam thought back to a few months ago, when Dean had been giving him a reading lesson in some motel, and Sam had finally read a story all by himself. Dean was so proud, he gave Sam all the change he'd been saving so he could call Bobby and tell him. Bobby had been excited for him, too, and promised him that once he got older, he could read any of Bobby's books that he wanted. Sam wanted to tell Dad, too, so he could be excited, but Sam ended falling asleep before Dad came back to the motel that night.
"Sammy?"
Sam snapped out of his memory and accepted the candy bar Dean had opened for him.
After eating half of it and giving the rest to his brother, Sam told Dean, "Thank you for teaching me how to read."
Dean smiled. "Well, I couldn't have my little brother be the stupidest one in class, could I?" He nudged his brother's shoulder before crumpling up the candy bar wrapper.
Dad looked in the rearview mirror at us suspiciously. "What are you boys eating?"
"Nothing," they answered together.