Author: Celesta Hellewise Harman
Song: Blessed, by Christina Aguilera
Disclaimer: Song's not mine. Character's not mine. Don't sue.
Warnings: Attempted Suicide. Sap. Maybe lime/lemonish. Maybe! 1x2, did I
mention sap? Oh yeah! Lots of sap, sap, and more sap. Might be some ooc.
Archive: Ask first then send me a link.
Author note. I thought this song would really fit. One of those split
second inspirations. Hope you like it. c&c welcome. BTW, This is my first
song fic. So be nice/brutal. I need moral support and lots of
encouragement. Some of the events are out of order so sorry if it causes
confusion. Arigatou! ::Bows politely::
**************************************************************************** ************************
//When I think how life used to be, Always walking in the shadows,//
Wide violet eyes peek out of a dark alley on the L2 colony. A young Duo Maxwell with long tangles for hair and dirt caked on his cheeks looks longingly and lonely out of the shadows at the happy children and their parents walking and running by. He had lost everything. First Solo, then his friends at Maxwell church. The only thing left was the shadows of emptiness that weighed his heart down. He looked up into the sky and thought, 'Hey God? You must be mad at me to have taken my friends. I'm sorry for whatever I did. The only thing I ask for now, is a friend that you won't give and then take from me. Please? I'll even try to rid the world of people who make you angry. I just want someone to love me.'
//Then I look at what you've given me, I feel like dancing on my tiptoes.//
An older Duo looks up from the bed at his roommate who sits across the room working on his laptop. He feels his heart flutter and he gets up and moves across the room searching his mind for an excuse to be closer to the dark- haired boy. He puts his hand on his friend's shoulder, hoping not to get hit for it, and leaned over to look over other shoulder. "Hey Heero! Watcha' doin'? Analyzing data? Sending stuff out? Bringing stuff in? Hacking? Ordering pizza? What?" "Hn. Do you ever shut up?" "Nope! But that's why you love me!" Duo leaned against the desk that the laptop was on with his arms crossed. "Hn." "That's what you say to all of the boys. Hell, the girls too! What are you thinking when you say it anyway?" Heero answered, not stopping to look up at Duo. "That depends on the situation." "Well how about now?" Heero did stop now, and stood up grabbing Duo's chin firmly and almost roughly. Something flashed in Heero's eyes, and Duo closed his eyes and tried to brace himself to feel Heero's fist contact his face. Instead he felt Heero's lips press against his in a tender kiss. Heero let go of Duo's face to wrap his arms around the braided pilot, and leaned Duo back to lay part of the way on the desk. The kiss deepened and the two explored each other's mouths freely. Duo's arms wrapped around Heero and he buried one hand in Heero's soft hair. They broke the kiss breathlessly but stayed embraced by one another. Heero whispered in Duo's ear. "That one means, 'That's only one of the many innumerable reasons why I love you.'"
//I must say everyday I wake, And realize you're by my side I know I'm truly,//
Morning light shined in the window and woke Duo from his sleep. He squinted his eyes and turned away from it. He was slightly startled when he felt something warm and solid in the bed next to him. He opened his eyes and stared into cobalt blue depths. He was about to pull away when he realized who it was. He reached over and snuggled against Heero, while Heero wrapped his arms around him as well. Duo whispered to him lovingly. "I like waking up next to you Heero. It feels so right." "Hn." This time Duo knew Heero was saying 'I love you' and he smiled against Heero's chest.
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show.//
Duo walked into his and Heero's room, a little upset at the fact that Heero seemed to not be showing him any affection lately. Even in private Heero was always too busy for him. Duo looked up at the empty room then noticed something out of place. A long thin box with a note on the top of it was sitting on the top of the dresser. Duo walked over and opened the note. He read the letter as tears began to fill his eyes. He read it again just to be sure.
Dear Duo, I write this knowing that I won't know how to say it out loud. I'm sorry I haven't been paying much attention to you. Please forgive me. I love you with all my heart. You're the first friend I've ever had and I want to thank you for teaching me how to feel. You will always have my trust, friendship, and love. The beauty that you will find in the box, pales next to the beauty that is you. Every part of you radiates a beauty that lights my whole existence. Thank you precious Duo. -Heero Yuy
Duo set the letter down and opened the box. Tears slipped from his eyes as he picked up the jeweled long-stemmed rose he found there. The stem and petals were made out of emerald and jade. The blossom was made from a clear ruby. There were little pearl dewdrops clinging to the blossom here and there. He held it carefully in one hand and brought his other to touch his lips. A hand touched his shoulder softly. He hadn't even heard Heero walk in and close the door, but there he was. Heero reached out and gently took the fragile jeweled rose from Duo and handed him a real, perfect looking long- stemmed rose of almost the same shade. Duo took it and held it in both hands. He looked up at Heero. "Heero, that rose must have cost a small fortune." Heero ran his hand against Duo moist cheek. "It did. A costly rose, for a priceless smile from the priceless wonder that is Duo Maxwell." Duo closed his eyes and leaned into Heero's embrace.
//Do my best, with every breath that's in me, Blessed! To make sure you never go.//
Duo swung Deathscythe around to take out three more Mechs. This battle was taking a toll on them after a full 4 hours of strait fighting. Duo turned just in time to see a group of Mechs sneaking up on Heero, who was too busy tangling with the ones In front of him to notice. Duo did the only thing he could to stop them from destroying Wing. Heero turned just in time to see Deathscythe ram headfirst into mechs behind him. He heard Duo's groan of pain over the open com. "Duo. Are you alright?" Duo's face appeared on the screen with a large gash above his eye. He blinked as blood flowed into it. "Yeah. I'm fine." "Why did you do that? You could have been killed." Duo gave a shaky semblance of his Shinigami grin. "I couldn't let ya leave me so soon could I?" "Hn. Baka." "I love you, too."
//There are times that test your faith, Till you think you might surrender. Baby I'm, I'm not ashamed to say, That my hopes were growing slender.//
Duo thought back to the time that he had known Heero before they were together. He had known then that he loved Heero, but every time he tried to tell him or show him, he would get hit. He knew if he just tried enough that he could make Heero see how much he loved him. It was tearing him up inside to be so close to Heero, but still so far. Still he kept his cheerful mask in place and kept waiting with dying hopes for the day when Heero would love him back. Finally he could take it no longer. The pain just ate too much at his already damaged soul.
//You walked by in the nick of time, Lookin' like an answered prayer. You know I'm truly,//
Heero was walking by Duo's room trying to figure out how to tell the chestnut-haired boy how he felt when he heard something that he had never heard before. Duo sobbing. Alarmed, Heero kicked open the locked door, to see Duo kneeling on his floor. That wasn't what scared him. It was the fact that blood was running from deep cuts running down Duo's forearms onto the floor. Duo now had the tip of the long hunting knife pressed to his chest and was about to put it in his heart. "Duo!" Duo jumped up when Heero yelled his name and backed away from him without dropping the knife. Heero came further into the room and stopped when Duo gripped the knife tighter, still crying and obviously determined to finish the job. Heero looked at the table beside him and picked up the note he saw there.
Dear Heero, I'm sorry. I can't bare it any longer. I can't live just being your friend. I thank you for that, but, I can't live knowing you'll never return my love. I love you Heero. Maybe we'll meet again after this life, ne? Ai shiteru Heero. -Duo Maxwell
Heero put the letter down and advanced towards Duo. "No!" Duo put the blade to his chest again and tried to push it in. Heero grabbed the knife away and twisted Duo around so that Duo's back was to his chest. Heero threw the bloody knife across the room and grabbed Duo's wrists, pinning him to his chest. Duo had stopped struggling and was sobbing, letting Heero hold him up. Heero whispered harshly in Duo's ear. "You would have left before I had the chance to tell you. I was trying to find a way. I was stupid not to know that I should have just said it. Ai shiteru Duo. I love you." As Duo passed out from shock and blood loss, he remembered the last part of a pray that he had said when he was little. 'I just want someone to love me.'
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show. Do my best, with every breath that's in me, Blessed! To make sure you never go. Blessed! With love and understanding. Blessed! When I hear you call my name. Do my best, with faith that's never ending, To make sure you feel the same.//
Duo woke up to see Heero finish wrapping his wrists. Heero saw that he was awake and leaned over to brush Duo's bangs out of his face. "I do feel the same Duo, and I return your love gladly." Duo smiled as Heero kissed him for the first time.
//Deep inside of me, you fill me with your gentle touch. You know I'm truly,//
Heero looks into Duo's eyes as they both reach their peaks for the first time. He had taken extra care not to hurt Duo, and Duo could tell. They were covered with sweat and collapsed exhausted into each other's arms and began to drift off to sleep. "I love you Heero." "I love you, too." They drifted off with those words from each other ringing in their minds.
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show. Do my best, with every breath that's in me, To see you never go.//
Duo looked up at the giant cross hanging on the wall of the church. "Well, what can I say God? Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better answer. It took a bit longer than I would have hoped, but it was worth it. Thank you for not taking this one." "Duo?" Duo turned around to see his new husband standing in the isle behind him. "Everyone is waiting for us to cut the cake. Come on." Duo looked up one more time at the cross and gave it a happy smile and mouthed 'thank you'. Heero held his hand out and Duo took it walking back down the isle to where the other three pilots, who had been in the ceremony were waiting. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa had been dressed in black tuxedos while Duo and Heero wore all white. And woven tightly into Duo's braid, so that it wouldn't fall out, was a jeweled long-stemmed, rose. It now served a sign of the unspoken love that would last forever between them.
//Never, never, never go.//
~Owari~ **************************************************************************** ************************
Well, what do you think? It's my first song fic. Hope you liked it. If you did, please tell me. If you didn't like it, please tell me why. JUST TEL ME PERIOD!!!! Want feedback no da. Well, JA! ~Celesta Hellewise Harman
**************************************************************************** ************************
//When I think how life used to be, Always walking in the shadows,//
Wide violet eyes peek out of a dark alley on the L2 colony. A young Duo Maxwell with long tangles for hair and dirt caked on his cheeks looks longingly and lonely out of the shadows at the happy children and their parents walking and running by. He had lost everything. First Solo, then his friends at Maxwell church. The only thing left was the shadows of emptiness that weighed his heart down. He looked up into the sky and thought, 'Hey God? You must be mad at me to have taken my friends. I'm sorry for whatever I did. The only thing I ask for now, is a friend that you won't give and then take from me. Please? I'll even try to rid the world of people who make you angry. I just want someone to love me.'
//Then I look at what you've given me, I feel like dancing on my tiptoes.//
An older Duo looks up from the bed at his roommate who sits across the room working on his laptop. He feels his heart flutter and he gets up and moves across the room searching his mind for an excuse to be closer to the dark- haired boy. He puts his hand on his friend's shoulder, hoping not to get hit for it, and leaned over to look over other shoulder. "Hey Heero! Watcha' doin'? Analyzing data? Sending stuff out? Bringing stuff in? Hacking? Ordering pizza? What?" "Hn. Do you ever shut up?" "Nope! But that's why you love me!" Duo leaned against the desk that the laptop was on with his arms crossed. "Hn." "That's what you say to all of the boys. Hell, the girls too! What are you thinking when you say it anyway?" Heero answered, not stopping to look up at Duo. "That depends on the situation." "Well how about now?" Heero did stop now, and stood up grabbing Duo's chin firmly and almost roughly. Something flashed in Heero's eyes, and Duo closed his eyes and tried to brace himself to feel Heero's fist contact his face. Instead he felt Heero's lips press against his in a tender kiss. Heero let go of Duo's face to wrap his arms around the braided pilot, and leaned Duo back to lay part of the way on the desk. The kiss deepened and the two explored each other's mouths freely. Duo's arms wrapped around Heero and he buried one hand in Heero's soft hair. They broke the kiss breathlessly but stayed embraced by one another. Heero whispered in Duo's ear. "That one means, 'That's only one of the many innumerable reasons why I love you.'"
//I must say everyday I wake, And realize you're by my side I know I'm truly,//
Morning light shined in the window and woke Duo from his sleep. He squinted his eyes and turned away from it. He was slightly startled when he felt something warm and solid in the bed next to him. He opened his eyes and stared into cobalt blue depths. He was about to pull away when he realized who it was. He reached over and snuggled against Heero, while Heero wrapped his arms around him as well. Duo whispered to him lovingly. "I like waking up next to you Heero. It feels so right." "Hn." This time Duo knew Heero was saying 'I love you' and he smiled against Heero's chest.
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show.//
Duo walked into his and Heero's room, a little upset at the fact that Heero seemed to not be showing him any affection lately. Even in private Heero was always too busy for him. Duo looked up at the empty room then noticed something out of place. A long thin box with a note on the top of it was sitting on the top of the dresser. Duo walked over and opened the note. He read the letter as tears began to fill his eyes. He read it again just to be sure.
Dear Duo, I write this knowing that I won't know how to say it out loud. I'm sorry I haven't been paying much attention to you. Please forgive me. I love you with all my heart. You're the first friend I've ever had and I want to thank you for teaching me how to feel. You will always have my trust, friendship, and love. The beauty that you will find in the box, pales next to the beauty that is you. Every part of you radiates a beauty that lights my whole existence. Thank you precious Duo. -Heero Yuy
Duo set the letter down and opened the box. Tears slipped from his eyes as he picked up the jeweled long-stemmed rose he found there. The stem and petals were made out of emerald and jade. The blossom was made from a clear ruby. There were little pearl dewdrops clinging to the blossom here and there. He held it carefully in one hand and brought his other to touch his lips. A hand touched his shoulder softly. He hadn't even heard Heero walk in and close the door, but there he was. Heero reached out and gently took the fragile jeweled rose from Duo and handed him a real, perfect looking long- stemmed rose of almost the same shade. Duo took it and held it in both hands. He looked up at Heero. "Heero, that rose must have cost a small fortune." Heero ran his hand against Duo moist cheek. "It did. A costly rose, for a priceless smile from the priceless wonder that is Duo Maxwell." Duo closed his eyes and leaned into Heero's embrace.
//Do my best, with every breath that's in me, Blessed! To make sure you never go.//
Duo swung Deathscythe around to take out three more Mechs. This battle was taking a toll on them after a full 4 hours of strait fighting. Duo turned just in time to see a group of Mechs sneaking up on Heero, who was too busy tangling with the ones In front of him to notice. Duo did the only thing he could to stop them from destroying Wing. Heero turned just in time to see Deathscythe ram headfirst into mechs behind him. He heard Duo's groan of pain over the open com. "Duo. Are you alright?" Duo's face appeared on the screen with a large gash above his eye. He blinked as blood flowed into it. "Yeah. I'm fine." "Why did you do that? You could have been killed." Duo gave a shaky semblance of his Shinigami grin. "I couldn't let ya leave me so soon could I?" "Hn. Baka." "I love you, too."
//There are times that test your faith, Till you think you might surrender. Baby I'm, I'm not ashamed to say, That my hopes were growing slender.//
Duo thought back to the time that he had known Heero before they were together. He had known then that he loved Heero, but every time he tried to tell him or show him, he would get hit. He knew if he just tried enough that he could make Heero see how much he loved him. It was tearing him up inside to be so close to Heero, but still so far. Still he kept his cheerful mask in place and kept waiting with dying hopes for the day when Heero would love him back. Finally he could take it no longer. The pain just ate too much at his already damaged soul.
//You walked by in the nick of time, Lookin' like an answered prayer. You know I'm truly,//
Heero was walking by Duo's room trying to figure out how to tell the chestnut-haired boy how he felt when he heard something that he had never heard before. Duo sobbing. Alarmed, Heero kicked open the locked door, to see Duo kneeling on his floor. That wasn't what scared him. It was the fact that blood was running from deep cuts running down Duo's forearms onto the floor. Duo now had the tip of the long hunting knife pressed to his chest and was about to put it in his heart. "Duo!" Duo jumped up when Heero yelled his name and backed away from him without dropping the knife. Heero came further into the room and stopped when Duo gripped the knife tighter, still crying and obviously determined to finish the job. Heero looked at the table beside him and picked up the note he saw there.
Dear Heero, I'm sorry. I can't bare it any longer. I can't live just being your friend. I thank you for that, but, I can't live knowing you'll never return my love. I love you Heero. Maybe we'll meet again after this life, ne? Ai shiteru Heero. -Duo Maxwell
Heero put the letter down and advanced towards Duo. "No!" Duo put the blade to his chest again and tried to push it in. Heero grabbed the knife away and twisted Duo around so that Duo's back was to his chest. Heero threw the bloody knife across the room and grabbed Duo's wrists, pinning him to his chest. Duo had stopped struggling and was sobbing, letting Heero hold him up. Heero whispered harshly in Duo's ear. "You would have left before I had the chance to tell you. I was trying to find a way. I was stupid not to know that I should have just said it. Ai shiteru Duo. I love you." As Duo passed out from shock and blood loss, he remembered the last part of a pray that he had said when he was little. 'I just want someone to love me.'
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show. Do my best, with every breath that's in me, Blessed! To make sure you never go. Blessed! With love and understanding. Blessed! When I hear you call my name. Do my best, with faith that's never ending, To make sure you feel the same.//
Duo woke up to see Heero finish wrapping his wrists. Heero saw that he was awake and leaned over to brush Duo's bangs out of his face. "I do feel the same Duo, and I return your love gladly." Duo smiled as Heero kissed him for the first time.
//Deep inside of me, you fill me with your gentle touch. You know I'm truly,//
Heero looks into Duo's eyes as they both reach their peaks for the first time. He had taken extra care not to hurt Duo, and Duo could tell. They were covered with sweat and collapsed exhausted into each other's arms and began to drift off to sleep. "I love you Heero." "I love you, too." They drifted off with those words from each other ringing in their minds.
//Blessed! For everything you've given me. Blessed! For all the tenderness you show. Do my best, with every breath that's in me, To see you never go.//
Duo looked up at the giant cross hanging on the wall of the church. "Well, what can I say God? Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better answer. It took a bit longer than I would have hoped, but it was worth it. Thank you for not taking this one." "Duo?" Duo turned around to see his new husband standing in the isle behind him. "Everyone is waiting for us to cut the cake. Come on." Duo looked up one more time at the cross and gave it a happy smile and mouthed 'thank you'. Heero held his hand out and Duo took it walking back down the isle to where the other three pilots, who had been in the ceremony were waiting. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa had been dressed in black tuxedos while Duo and Heero wore all white. And woven tightly into Duo's braid, so that it wouldn't fall out, was a jeweled long-stemmed, rose. It now served a sign of the unspoken love that would last forever between them.
//Never, never, never go.//
~Owari~ **************************************************************************** ************************
Well, what do you think? It's my first song fic. Hope you liked it. If you did, please tell me. If you didn't like it, please tell me why. JUST TEL ME PERIOD!!!! Want feedback no da. Well, JA! ~Celesta Hellewise Harman