Written because I still have Lambda feels after Lonely Walk and nothing else to channel them to. In-Game, pre-Gralesyde/Wallbridge. Attempt at alternative character interpretation.
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Hesitation: the act of hesitating; a delay due to uncertainty or fear
It was a godsend.
Lambda sneered with the face of his host, the hilt of the blade resting easily in his hand. At his feet lay the sleeping girl that had tormented him for a millennium- the purple-haired humanoid known as Protos Heis; the one destined to destroy him.
A destiny, Lambda thought vengefully, that would go unfulfilled.
Tonight, after a thousand years, he would destroy her- and the best part was that she would never see it coming.
He had awakened when he had sensed her after seven years of slumber, her touch on his host's hand. He had been shocked awake, woefully underprepared, but willing to fight. Yet he could never have imagined the circumstances that he found himself in: that Protos Heis would have lost her memory; that she would be lost and alone; and most importantly- that she considered the human body he inhabited to be that of a friend.
An all-too-human word, with all-too-human connotations. Friends meant weakness- an opening that he could use to further his ends; to take out the threat that had so plagued him for so long.
She was weak now, uncertain and vulnerable; utterly dependant on the red-haired fool that seemed just as lost and weak-willed as the prince he used as his host. It took time sifting through memories for Lambda to realize that this was the boy that Protos Heis had tried to protect, seven years ago- the cause of such concern in her that she had turned her back to him, letting him strike that final blow that had put her out of action for seven years.
It was ironic, he thought, that the unfeeling machine so focused on her duty would be undone by simple compassion.
His host was unaware of his intentions, of course- he had hidden his presence well. And Protos Heis herself didn't seem to sense it- or perhaps, amnesiac as she was, she wouldn't know.
But for six months, he had been unable to act. Frustrating as it was, the bond he had with his host was still in its infancy- the human had no idea he was here, after all, no comprehension of what he could do. He would not be able to do as he wished- the most he could achieve was influence the man, Richard; twist his decisions ever so slightly from his own will. But he could not stop the human from entertaining thoughts of concern towards Protos Heis, could not stop the humanoid from approaching him, befriending him.
The sight of her, smiling at him, was utterly disgusting.
The most he could exert control was during battle, when his host's underlying fear gave him more freedom in his manipulations. But even then, he couldn't risk hurting his host- and in turn, himself- by turning on Protos Heis in the middle of battle, not when she was at her most dangerous.
He certainly didn't find it surprising that she would be capable of being as human as the rest of them; didn't feel a thrill of excitement when she fought back-to-back with his host; didn't feel the least bit comforted for once, knowing that her presence by his side meant safety rather than death, as the eleth she so often wielded to kill him now healed his wounds. He helped Richard protect her solely because it was to his benefit, and he certainly didn't entertain thoughts that perhaps things would be different this time.
He put up with the state of things for six months without attacking her because he was too weak to do so- not because he found himselfwondering occasionally what it was like if things were different; if he were able to look upon the world and not have to hold on to this distrust he had of everything around him.
So, he had bided his time and waited patiently, suffered with Richard's delusions of friendship and justice for the boy's father. Sometimes, Lambda even found himself pitying the prince. Never sympathy, though- he wasn't subject to such... human emotions.
Then tonight, Lambda saw his chance.
They were a few days' walk from the town known as Gralesyde, having just ventured through the ancient Amarcian city that lay beneath the earth. His host had been tired from their ordeal, and after months of saving his energy, Lambda knew that he was strong enough to finally act. Now was the best time to take control of the young man's body, when his mind was too weak to fight back. His red-haired friend, Asbel, had left him in charge of the camp, having gone to pick up more firewood, and the Amarcian and Protos Heis were already deep in slumber, curled up near the campfire's flames.
It would be fast and quick, and Lambda knew better than to pass up an opportunity like this one.
He seized control of Richard's mind while the young man was caught unawares; forced him to go to sleep. At least the human would not know that it was his blade that killed his 'friend', would not be haunted by the vicious anger and glee that Lambda felt. It wasn't mercy- simply the fact that Richard would be far easier to control if he didn't blame Lambda for what he was about to do.
So now he stood above her, the blade of his sword resting lightly against her neck. She was unaware of his presence, and all it would take was one swipe; one clean cut. She wouldn't be able to respond, and Lambda knew he was strong enough to deal with whatever resistance her human 'friends' would put up.
She looked gentle as she slept, like the mere child the humans believed her to be. Emotions changed her, weakened her. And now, it would spell her doom.
He took his time to savour the moment. This was the creature that had hunted him like a wild dog, that had chased him from refuge to refuge, that denied his very right to live. This was the girl that laughed so lightly, that watched the world with wide-eyed curiosity; that seemed so pathetically human that it sparked derision and anger in him. This was the person that, even if he were capable, he would never call his friend.
But as he raised the sword to strike, as he affirmed those thoughts in his mind, Lambda did something he never thought he would ever do.
He hesitated.
Later, he reasoned it was pragmatism. Protos Heis still did not know who she was; and she was ripe to be manipulated to his will. And likewise, he could extend his influence to all her friends- and Richard, he recalled, was Barona's crown prince and soon-to-be king. There was no gain to dispose of such valuable tools simply because of his old grudges, and Lambda knew it was better to be prepared for unforseen circumstances, especially since his host was embroiled in national politics. He would need all the help he would get in order to reach the Lastalia, and what better aid could be rendered than Protos Heis, serving at his side?
Lambda was patient. He would wait for the right moment, and should she prove to be a threat, he would remove her then. After all, as long as she didn't know who he was or what his goals were, he still held the advantage.
So he placed the sword back in its sheathe and walked Richard back to where the man had been, choosing to let the young prince believe that he must have dozed off momentarily. Any residual thoughts of killing Protos Heis would probably be dismissed as 'strange thoughts', which the blonde, as terrified and unwitting as he was of what was happening to him, would never think twice of looking too deep. Lambda took some pleasure at the fact that Richard panicked briefly, his gaze shifting over to where Protos Heis still slept before he calmed himself, seeing her alright.
One day, Lambda swore, Protos Heis would outlive her usefulness- and then- and only then- would she die by his hand. And as the prince returned to his night watch, he fell back into the darkness of the man's mind, where he would lurk, unhindered, as he masterminded his plan.
The relief they felt was Richard's, Lambda told himself. Not his.
