July 21st, 1980

"I've never really thought about death before, or dying for that matter. To be perfectly honest it terrifies me to even write about but...I suppose this diary wouldn't be complete without one page of fears.

As a schoolgirl, I always knew that the war was looming over us but I couldn't see any further than 'what I would wear that day' and 'would I pass my OWL's?'. The war was something that happened to other people, not me. I was protected by the magic of Hogwarts. I was safe in my own little world. That's the curse of being a child, so content to take for granted the bounty which is life. To a child, life is an eternity of summers, of playtime and lazy days spent with friends. Not of war.

What I wouldn't give to have back that innocence.

Now, as a woman – a married woman – about to be a mother at that, I just can't shake this horrible feeling that my life could end at any moment. Life is so precious. I never stopped to see how fragile it was until I had something to lose.

War is no longer an idea floating far away for someone else to worry on. I am living it right now, even in the invented comfort of my own home, snuggled next to the man I love. The dangers of being killed are everywhere and many of us have already come across our sad fates to the hands of evil. What a world to bring a child into.

Because of that stupid prophesy I've been trapped in this house, in fear that my unborn child is the Chosen One. That You-Know-Who will find me in the night. The only one who could possibly understand what I'm going through is Alice, but even she wouldn't really know. Frank hasn't put her under house arrest like James has done to me. She still is as active as always, lucky girl. At least...as active as someone in our condition can be.

I know James is only this way because he loves me and worries, but...I don't know. I long to get out and stretch my legs.

I fear for my James every time he leaves the house, whether it be in pursuit of Death Eaters or simply for a quick meeting with Dumbledore. He leaves me alone with only my thoughts and this giant belly to keep me company. It's almost time and still he leaves me to fight. How can I not be worried?

He calls me bonkers. Maybe I am. I can't help it.

But, as I lay here feeling my child move inside me, I have to wonder if my fears are unsound. I wonder if we are safe like James promises. Truly safe, with nothing to worry about. 'How can we be truly safe', I ask him, 'how is anyone safe in this chaos?' He only smiles and tells me I'm paranoid from hormones and that as soon as this child is born I will be right back to my old fiery self, telling him he's worrying too much over nothing. I smile back at him and stretch against his chest.

'Be patient', he whispers, wrapping his arms around me. 'Soon we'll have our baby and old Voldemort will be gone.'

He has placed a lot of trust in his friends – in our friends. With all my heart I hope he is right."

– Lily