A/N: So I made this stupid AU on Tumblr and a friend jumped in and added a few parts and I took it and run from there! I was going for something less depressing and more humorous but oh well!
Of Broken Hearts & Meddling Gods
"Skye, don't."
"But-"
"Just don't! Shut up and act like everything is normal."
"I can't! I'm staring at me as you and dude, I think your body doesn't realize what's going on! Seriously?Is this what you feel every time you look at me?"
"Shut up!" He muttered face scrunch up in a frown. If this kept up for long her perfect face would end up with wrinkles!
"Shit, shit, shit!" She groaned, trying to get used to her new body. "Uh… You kinda need to go to the bathroom and totally do something really awkward and embarrassing for both of us." His eyes snapped up to meet hers and she felt weird looking at her body but not being in it.
"Skye…" He drawled, voice low, warning and it freaked her out even more hearing him. This was one of the most bizarre things she had to go through. Being a Shield agent was always so much fun! She thought sarcastically.
"I kinda, um, need to, you know." She murmured looking down at her newly formed erection. " Am I really turning you on so much? Is this why you've been so snappish and mean. All you needed to do was ask!"
"I hate you so much right now." He growled stomping out in a very lady like manner. She did have a nice butt though, and her problem just became harder. Pun intended.
"Dear," Her voice traveled down the throne room to where he stood in front of a huge mirror. Loki turned to look at her, a sly smirk forming on his lips. "How many times do I have to tell you not to interfere with earthling business. What did you do to the poor kids?" She scoffed as she took her place beside him, looking inside the clear crystal changing shapes.
"Don't spoil my fun, wife!" He teased and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "I'm just doing a favor to the Son of Coul."
"I find it hard to believe he asked you to mess around with his kids." She murmured nuzzling his neck.
"He didn't say it per se. But I took a pick inside his head." Sif slapped his arms lightly. They talked about rules and why he shouldn't break them but her husband just couldn't be obeying for once. "All he wants is for his little girl to find happiness. I'm just trying to help! I owe him that much." Sif smiled softly and buried herself closer to his side. Loki was changing, he was changing for the best and she couldn't be happier.
"I'll let it slip this time." She sighed kissing his neck.
She whined trying to think of a way to get rid of her -uhm- problem. She tried everything she knew, she took a cold shower, though about Coulson naked -ew-, dead kittens, bloody thrillers, Windows Vista, nothing worked. Absolutely nothing and every time she closed her eyes and tried to sleep it off, images of her would pop up in Ward's mind and make it worse!
Dear lord did the man had a wild imagination!
She had no idea she was messing with him so much. Maybe when this was all over she could tease him some more and finally break him. Yeah, she'd definitely do that. She sighed giving up and unbuttoned his -her- jeans.
She'd have to do something about this...
Grant avoided her for the rest of the day. Fun fact? Apparently he made Skye's body just as uncomfortable as she made his. He had to change panties at least twice after he left her alone. Somehow her body hadn't realized what was going and reacted to seeing his body the same way it did all the time. Or at least he hoped it was all the time. Grant laid back on Skye's bed trying to shoo the images away.
As it turned out it didn't worked. A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts and he shot up. "Yes?" He called hesitantly.
"Skye?" Simmon's muffled voice traveled through the metal door. "Can I come in? I brought you a present!" Simmons didn't wait for an answer as she pulled the door open and slipped in.
"Um, hi?" He tried waving a hand awkwardly.
"Yeah, hi but that's not why I'm here." She said sitting beside him eagerly, placing a medium sized box between them. "Fitz and I decided that since we didn't get you something for your birthday and given your -um- situation with Ward, we decided that this would be a perfect gift!" She beamed and pushed the box towards him. Ward took it locking eyes with her, pulling the bow softly "till it came undone.
Grant took a deep breath and opened the lid chocking back a gasp.
"What is that?" He asked as his eyes traveled over the object nested between layers of tissue and cotton.
"It's a vibrator!" Simmons exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together. "Fitz and I made it just for you! We even remodeled it after Ward's little friend! Which is anything but little if you know what I mean!" She winked stifling a giggle. Grant was way to freaked out to actually speak. If not a little turned on by the idea that Skye though of him when she did things like that. Because if we're being honest, he thought of her too when he jacked off.
"Thanks?" It came out as a question as he took hold of the thing. Impressively it looked a lot like his dick, he knew Fitz was a genius but still.
"Nothing to be thankful for, sweetheart!" Simmons stood on her feet, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll be on my way. Have fun!" She called over her shoulder and then disappeared.
He needed to find Skye...
Twelve hours into their torture he finally mastered the courage to seek her out. They were adults, they could settle this without embarrassing the hell out of each other. He knocked on her -his- door twice and waited a few seconds. When nothing happened he knocked again and pressed his ear to the cold metal. "Skye?" He called softly, nothing for a few more seconds and then shuffling. Skye threw the door open, hair all over the place, shirtless and jeans unzipped. Man, did he look good! He scrunched his face up, "Were you..." He trailed off taking a deep breath. "Please tell me you didn't do what I think you did!" He whined stomping his foot.
"I won't lie to you." She looked at his smugly. "I did and boy, are you thinking a lot of me when you jack off!" She cackled almost evilly.
"Simmons dropped off a vibrator for you that looked a lot like my dick a while ago!" He whizzed out in one breath trying to get her back.
"She did?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, that or the excitement written all over her face.
"You sound excited." He eyed her closely.
"Maybe I am." She shot back. "Got a problem with that?"
"Maybe I do." He said and her face dropped. "Or maybe I don't." Her gaze locked with his for a brief moment. They stood in silence.
"So," She trailed off trying to get him to talk. "Found anything?"
"I thought you were researching it!" He squealed making her voice rise a few octaves. He pushed her inside his bunk and locked the door behind them.
"Well, I was busy!" She hissed glaring at him.
"I can see that!" He motioned towards her messed up clothes. "Now please just find a way to get us out of this mess." Grant whined, his body slamming against his mattress face first.
"I need my laptop."
"You can use mine!"
"Dude, no!" Her nose, actually his nose but you get the drift, scrunched up in disgust. "That's like sharing a toothbrush, and I don't think we are at that part of our relationship yet."
"A toothbrush?" He looked at her confused. "Relationship?" But she was gone before he could ask for explanation.
"You are still torturing the poor children I see." Sif scowled sleepily looking at the small looking glass Loki carried around.
"I would hardly call it torture, Love." He smirked impishly at her, face almost splitting in two from glee. "Trust me they enjoy themselves!" Sif snorted and turned over, going back to sleep.
"If you say so."
Twenty eight hours later and Skye had barely slept but that was okay, her new body was used to the long hours. So far she had found very little about body swapping and why that happened. So she pretty much had nothing. Ward on the other hand had given in to sleep six hours ago and was now curled up against her side, his head (actually it was hers) resting against her arm. He looked kind of cute.
Giving up on the internet she hacked into Shield's database. If someone would have information on what happened to them that would be their bosses. She browsed file after file, her eyes skimming over the pages looking for something, anything.
She was ready to give up until her gaze fell against a file named Grant Ward. Stealing a glance at the body laying beside her, making sure he was still sleeping she clicked on it. She couldn't really put a name to the feeling that crept inside her her as she read, anger, compassion, pity, love, a little bit of all. No one should be subjected to what Grant went through. All the pain and abuse, her heart clinched in pain as the pages went through. A moment later she slapped the laptop shut starling Ward beside her.
"Did you found something?" He asked sitting up alarmed.
"Nope." She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. "Nothing other than the crap that the only way to return to normal is to walk in each other's shoes. To learn how it feels to carry someone else's problems." She shrugged and sat up. She was out of the room before Grant could ask anything else.
After she left Grant returned back to her bunk. Sleep came easily in this body, he realized. But then again Skye hadn't seen the horrors he did, or at least that's what he liked to believe. Until he woke up by a nightmare a few hours later, cold sweat dripping down his neck and suddenly the bunk was too small. He needed to get out of here, to get some fresh air.
He made his way to the kitchen for a cup of milk. He tried, he honestly did, he tried hard to remember the dream but he couldn't. The only thing he could recall was the coldness, the freezing air surrounding his body, cutting through his bones.
"What was it this time?" The sound made his jump and he almost dropped the cup. "Was it bad?" Skye moved closer, towering over his petite form. Her fingers reached to tuck a strand of her behind his ear and then run down the rest of the way. He found the motion soothing.
"Nothing I couldn't handle." He leaned into her touch.
"They can get hard to handle." She murmured, resting her forehead against his. Her arms came around his waist, wrapping him in a comforting embrace. Grant hugged her back, bodies melting into one.
Satisfied with his work Loki snapped his fingers twice, setting everything straight. They could figure out the rest by themselves now. He rested the looking glass at the bedside table and laid back down, pulling his wife in his arms. His job was done, he could go to sleep.
"This is nice." She sighed burying her head against his chest.
"It is." He agreed. They stayed like that, wrapped around each other, feeling calm and peaceful for the first time in a long while. "We are back in our bodies." He broke the silence, his arms still wrapped around her.
"I noticed."
"Wanna go back to bed?"
"Yep." She agreed but made no move.
"Together." He added.
"Yep." Her smile light up her entire face. Yeah, he could spend the rest of his life looking at that smile.