A/N: Okay, I don't know if this classifies as a songfic, it was just based of a the song Don't You Remember, by Adele. This is the first time I've done this so please be gentle! Oh, and I don't own this song, or any Merlin characters. Though I would love to own Bradley James...just sayin...
Don't You Remember
When will I see him again…I swear…I don't know what came over me! He didn't even see me off…not that—not that I deserved a goodbye! Seriously! What was I thinking? I wish we could just have one last kiss…I can't believe the state that we're in! I know my heart was so fickle…and it took forever for us to be together…I can't believe I did this! I wipe my eyes…the ones that wandered to a face that was supposed to be long gone…so gone.
I pull my luggage. My heavy, heavy luggage. I already have a heavy head, and a lead heart, and now I have this damn cart. And it's all my fault! All my fault!
Doesn't he remember? Doesn't he remember why he loves me? I swear something just came over me! Why can't he just remember once more!
All of those times we were together, the memories we shared! The time by the lake…the picnics he would set up for me…we were perfect…what happened? That's right! I betrayed him! Not as my king, but as my Arthur! I kicked down his heart. "God Guinevere what was I doing?" I shout out. "I can't keep one thing in my life sacred and wholesome…I have no one! My father and mother are dead…I betrayed Arthur my king, and with him my brother…I'm terrible!"
I hope Arthur takes nothing out on him…but…then again…that's not Arthur. He judges people on who they are. Not who they're related to….
Is he thinking of me? What about the decorations? Did he take them down already? I gasp for breath as I stop. Has he erased me from his memory? How is he going to run a kingdom when I destroyed his heart? Come on Gwen! The more I move, the less I know…right?
I know I have a fickle heart!
And a wandering eye!
And a heaviness!
But God damn it doesn't he remember?
The reason he loved me before…why can't he love me once more? I'll leave, give you space and breath. Maybe you'll come back to me…you'll realize that I'm your missing piece. What will it take for you to bring me back to you..?
Why don't you remember?
"Don't you remember! The reason…you loved me…?" I say stopping so suddenly the cart scratches my ankle. But I don't mind. I wish the physical pain could match the mental pain. "Why can't you remember?" I whisper so quietly I'm not even sure I said it out loud. I continue down my dark, sad, twisted life.