After thinking about the first chapter and how I wanted the other chapters to work out, I decided to rewrite this chapter and repost it.
Chapter 1
I'm not sure how my life came to be like this. I have a great job, and great friends. I thought I had the perfect boyfriend too but some things just don't work out. I guess my life started going down hill about 3 years ago when I fell in love with my best friend Maura Isles. She's perfect. She is everything to me. But I can't tell her. She only ever dates men. And she once said that I wasn't her type, so that pretty much sealed the secret right up. And I would rather be her friend than ruin everything and lose her forever. So I started trying to date other people, and it kind of worked. They just weren't Maura. No one can compare to her.
Everything really changed for me when I started dating Casey Jones. You see, we dated in high school. I stared dating him because he was familiar and, in my opinion, safe. Nobody would question if I had feelings for my female friend if I was dating Casey. The only problem with him is that I know I will never be truly happy with him. I don't want to pick up my life and leave everything because he has to be stationed somewhere else. That's right he is in the army. I don't want to leave my job and especially Maura. So when Casey asked me to marry him I was skeptical. I finally said yes because he decided he was going to retire from the army and come live in Boston.
That was until I got the email. The email saying that Casey changed his mind getting out of the army. That only served to complicate things more. I decided to break things off completely. And that is how Maura found me that night. As she was walking in I was dropping the engagement ring into the envelope.
"What's going on Jane?" Maura asked
I didn't say anything, I just turned my computer, which still had the email open, towards her for her to see for herself. "I'm really sorry Jane. I know it must be hard for you." Maura had a sympathetic look on her face when she said this to me. "It's OK. We both weren't in the right place in our lives to make these decisions. We both love our jobs to much." 'Yeah and you love her too much to leave and never see her again' I thought to myself. "But there is something else that I have to tell you." I must have had a nervous look on my face because her immediate response was to ask me what was wrong. " Nothing is wrong per say. But I'm pregnant. And now I will have to raise this baby by myself." I looked at her expecting her to say something. "Jane, you are never going to be alone. Your mother is going to be there for you, your brothers, even Frost and Korsak. And you know I will always be there for you. I love you." Maura finished her speech with a bright smile, that makes me fall evern more in love with her than I already am. And I know she doesn't love me like I love her but her statement still made me smile. "I know you will always be there for me. You always have been. I guess I'm just scared." That was really hard for me to say. I'm not usually one to say when something scares me. But with Maura I feel like I can tell her anything. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Her question brings me out of my musings. "Yeah, that would be great." I know now that I will have to tell her how I feel. I don't want to go through the rest of my life wondering if she feels the same. Now if only I knew when and how to tell her.