The sting skittered over his skin from where palm met cheek. It wasn't the toughest of hits, not by a long shot, but it still took him by surprise. A sudden pain that lingered more in the shock and embarassment than the actual act. Danny swallowed down awkwardly and for once had nothing to say. Anybody else and he'd hit back, hell, he'd yell and push and walk away. Yet all he could do was stand in awkward silence feeling a fleeting humiliation. He lifted his hand to the spot, caressing gently there with his fingertips, glancing over at her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Forgive me?"
She moved closer to him, hands sliding over his chest, clutching at his shoulders, her body pressing against him. She brushed his hand aside and instead kissed his cheek as if to make it better. Hands cupped his face and eyes looked into his.
"Forgive me?" She repeated again.
Danny felt himself nodding, hands automatically sliding around her waist and she rested close in his embrace, looking relieved by his reaction.
"You know how you drive me crazy sometimes," She whispered against his shirt.
"It's okay," Danny replied, holding her against him.
Growing up in a neighbourhood like his, Danny had learned to fight from a young age. But he'd also learned important rules and you never raised a hand to a girl. It had carried on into his adult life and he still had trouble sometimes getting rough with female perps. He knew his own strength, knew how matched he was against men, but women were different. It was one of the many perks of having Kono on the team, saved him a lot of face when in pursuit of females.
Sometimes he wished he hadn't been so well brought up.
"Not tonight okay," He said, brushing her hands away as they reached for his belt. It had been a difficult, trying day and he was in no mood for sex. He wanted to eat, sleep, forget what he'd seen and witnessed with the case.
Somehow he was cornered and she advanced on him.
"Come on baby, you know I'll make it good."
"No...let's just," Danny was tired and she was close, pressing kisses against his neck. "Later maybe. Please, don't, just stop..."
She nuzzled his neck in her quiet way, hands sliding into his pants.
"Make me," She challenged.
"I took a bad kick from a perp," Danny explained to the doc. He felt his neck flush, like it always did when he lied, it was his tell. "Anything you can do for me?"
"We'll strap the knee up, you'll have to use the stick," The doctor replied. "I'll prescribe something for the pain and swelling. I'd tell you to take it easy but I know you won't."
He smiled and Danny got dressed again, a nervousness descending over him.
The doc he could feign the reason of his injury, but how was he going to get around Steve?
"Jesus Steve I told you," Danny said, hobbling away, annoyed. "What? Do you watch my every action when I take someone down? My leg got knocked, it jarred my old injury, I'll be fine."
Steve didn't argue further, but Danny felt his eyes following him as he left his office and stormed, as much as he could storm, away. In his office he sat at his desk, hiding behind his laptop, wallowing in guilt.
Guilt at lying to the doc. Guilt at lying to his best friend.
Guilt that he was letting it happen and feeling powerless to stop it.
Danny flinched as the hand raised, before she began laughing at him. She was straddled over his thighs and her other hand jerked him slowly off.
"God you're pathetic," she taunted, bringing her hand down to caress his face. "I think you crave the humiliation, don't you?"
"No, I just," Danny started, but he felt pathetic. Powerless, used, hopeless.
"No? You don't think so?" She mocked, pressing her hand against his chest. "You sure about that Danny?"
"Stop, please," Danny asked, the pressure on his bruised ribs too much.
"Pathetic isn't the word. Lucky for me you're a good lay."
"There is something going on," Steve said as he pulled the car up to a secluded spot in the middle of nowhere. "And we aren't going anywhere until you tell me what."
"Steve, stop being so paranoid and just drive okay," Danny urged, unable to meet his eyes.
"Talk to me," Steve said softly, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. The move made Danny flinch automatically and he felt his neck flush as Steve picked up on the sudden movement. Steve, seeing how his breath hitched, the tug of fear suddenly overwhelming him.
"What the hell D?"
"I can't talk about it," Danny said with a shake of his head. His head was swimming, he felt sick to his stomach. Steve knew something was amiss and Danny knew he wouldn't let it go without finding out the truth.
So he climbed out of the car, making his escape. "I can't do this."
Of course Steve wasn't going to just let him walk away. It was just the two of them and it was fruitless to go in one direction or another. Danny stopped and put a hand to his face.
How had everything become so fucked up?
"Maybe if you say it fast," Steve suggested. He was stood behind him and had a steady hand resting on his shoulder. "It'll be easier."
Danny had to let out a laugh. If only it was easy, but how did he explain? Even saying it fast, there was too much to say. So much to sift through. His laugh turned bitter and he sobered up, brow furrowing, fists clenching.
His ribs hurt where she'd punched him. She had a mean right hook.
Danny laughed again, feeling it bubble up in his chest, maniacal and mad.
"My girlfriend is abusing me."
Everything poured out of him like a tidal wave. Everything that had happened since that first slap. Steve took it in silently; shocked, bewildered.
When Danny finally stopped talking, he was met with a long silence. He glanced at Steve, seeing the shock in his expression. Danny shrugged, embarrassed he'd admitted to so much.
"I know, pathetic right? What kind of man am I to let this happen?"
Steve's hands were strong and tight on his shoulders as he looked him in the eye.
"Don't Danny. Don't you ever think you are less of a man because this has happened."
Steve drove them back to her place, to collect his stuff. Danny hoped she wasn't home, feeling his cheeks flush the closer they got. Humiliated he needed the back up. If Steve noticed he didn't say anything, just parked up in the lot outside her apartment building.
"You want me to come in with you?" Steve asked calmly, but Danny could see how he gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white.
It felt shameful and weak but Danny nodded mutely. If she was there, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it without someone backing him up.
"Yeah, let's go."
"What are you doing back - oh, hi," She had begun a challenge but her tone turned light when Steve followed him in.
"You want help?" Steve asked, a hand on his shoulder.
"I got it," Danny replied, leaving him in the hallway. She followed him to the bedroom.
"What's going on?"
"I'm just getting my stuff."
"What?" She sounded surprised, like there was no reason why he'd be walking out on her. "Why?"
Danny felt like laughing the question was so preposterous. 'Why? You hit, you attack. You make me feel small and insignificant.'
"It isn't working any more."
The atmosphere was tense as he threw whatever of his stuff he could get his hands on and stuffed them into a duffel bag. She watched from the doorway, arms folded, tense, angry. He could feel the flush of heat on his cheeks, embarrassed that he couldn't make it work. Humiliated that it had come to this, that he felt so helpless.
There she stood, mocking him with her eyes and attitude. He zipped up the bag and glanced up to see her closing the door and he felt trapped. Approaching him, she put her arms out towards him gently.
"Don't go like this. Stay," She murmured, lips against his jawline. "We can work it out. You know you wind me up sometimes, but you can change. People change Danny."
Her lips were soft against his, Danny felt his determination faltering. When they'd met, it had felt good, felt right. Maybe they could work something out.
"Danny."
"He pulled away like he'd been burned, Steve's voice seemed to clear a way through the haze.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, picking up the bag.
"This is none of your business," She turned vehemently towards Steve. "You need to keep out of it."
Steve ushered him out of the bedroom as she followed them down the hall, trying to argue her point, to deaf ears as Steve pointedly ignored her. Getting him out of the apartment, Steve pointed Danny on his way before he turned towards her.
"Keep talking," he said, a calm threat in his tone. He got close to her, kept his voice down, his meaning clear. "Just one more word."
"Fuck you."
Steve had no reservations about using his strength against a woman. He spun her around, pushed her up against the door and had the cuffs on in seconds.
Danny deliberated and agonised for days over pressing charges. At first he wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Steve, about the exact details of what had happened. He felt small and weak despite people telling him he wasn't. He was the talk of the HPD and it was as if he couldn't hold his head up.
He had stayed cooped up in a toilet cubicle for half an hour after he heard a couple of the guys laughing over how much of a cissy he obviously was.
"He must have handed his balls over to her on a silver platter."
"Let me tell it to you straight," Steve said as the talked. Steve was the only person he'd slowly opened up and told everything too. "You keep this quiet D, you do nobody any favours. Not yourself and not the people who go through this shit every day of their lives. Look at this way, if it was a woman and we'd gotten her out of that situation, would we tell her to stay quiet, hide away? Why should it be any different for you?"
"It's not that easy Steve."
"If it was Grace, what would you say to her?"
They decided it should be HPD that handled the case. Duke had his best guys put on it as Danny slowly gave his evidence and charges were made. She lawyered up, Steve rallied the troops and Danny was represented by one of the best firms in Oahu. They tried to settle out of court eventually, but Danny knew it was bigger than him now. He didn't want to be another statistic quietly buried under paperwork and money. She'd walk away having paid a debt, but she deserved to do time.
You couldn't treat people like that and not face justice.
"Seven years," Steve smiled, arm around his shoulder, giving him a squeeze. "And damages paid."
"She will be out in half that," Danny observed, but he smiled at the victory. He hadn't known which way the judge would go.
"It's better than nothing D," Steve pointed out and Danny grinned, he had to agree. "C'mon, we're going out to celebrate."
"Actually, do you mind if we don't? I just, I want to go somewhere quiet. It's been a tough few weeks. A tough year actually."
"Want some company?"
"Yeah," Danny smiled. "Thanks Steve. For everything."
"Always Danno, you know that."
~fin~