Hello, fanfictioners! This was the first story I ever wrote, almost a year ago. Since then, I've learned a lot, and this chapter contains more content, description, and character development than all of this story's original chapters combined! I doubt any of you can remember this story as it was orgianally, and that's a good thing. For those of you who do, sit back and marvel at the improvement!

A comet streaked its way across a star strewn night sky, leaving a beautiful blue trail behind it, as well as a group of mini-comets that fell behind and disappeared for the most part. The bright glow illuminated a group of green pikmin, reflecting off their weapons and throwing their mottled skin into great relief. An observer could even count their exact number of two dozen; such was the brightness of the comet. Three of the pikmin were occupied with carrying the carcass of one of the dwarf bulbears that were common on the highlands that the green pikmin called home. The obvious leader of the hunting party cast a glance at the sky. He carried an ivory spear, tipped with a rich blue metal called scandium. This was in sharp contrast to the dull green bromine metal of the others' weapons. A white flower rode atop his stalk, as opposed to the leaves on the others. Without looking down, the leader said, "Heath, Ielta, Kinsbur, stash the catch, such as it is, under that boulder, and quickly!" The three pikmin who'd been carrying the carcass hurried to comply. They'd only just finished their task when one of the mini-comets struck the ground directly in front of the small group, unleashing a vicious shockwave, along with a massive amount of heat and hyper propelled detritus across the area. Any other pikmin type would've been killed instantly, but these were greens, and explosions didn't bother them in the slightest. When the dust settled, none of them were the worse for wear. The leader spoke to the three who'd been carrying the catch, "Leave it where it is for now. We'll pick it up on the way back."

The eldest of the three carriers, Heath, spoke up then, "Taran, I think the main piece of the comet landed about three miles east of here. Why don't we go that way?"

Taran shook his head, flower waving. "This is why you're still on carrier duty, even though you've been in my group for over a year. If we go over in that direction, then there'll be no prey, all of it either vaporize or frightened off. Plus, that meteor landed right on the border, in the contested area between our land and the red's."

"Yes, but that comet probably contains ore!" insisted Heath. Taran raised an eyebrow, or at least, he would've if pikmin had eyebrows. Heath became rather tongue tied at this point. Fortunately, Ielta intervened, for she knew Heath well enough to know that he would simply acquiesce to Taran's lead without her help. "With all due respect, Taran, but the last falling star was before even your time. But I've read the inscriptions in the Cave of History. Falling stars were virtual mines of scandium ore, and they sometimes even contained rarer metals, like cerium or neolite. I'd say that would more than makes up for the risk of combat and loss of hunting time." Heath smiled at her gratefully. She had to suppress a grin of her own. She caught sight of Kinsbur smirking out of the corner of her eye. She hit him with butt of her club. Just because it was common knowledge that she was in love with the handsome eight year old pikmin didn't mean that a seven who was four months her junior could make a joke of it behind her back. She turned her attention back to Taran as he said, "Very well. With any luck, the reds won't decide to investigate the crash." The group immediately altered its course, and set off for the edge of their territory. Heath fell back to stand between Kinsbur and Ielta. The latter said, "You need to develop some self confidence, Heath."

Heath looked over at Ielta and said, "I suppose you'd know about that, Ielta. You've twice the confidence I had at your age, and considerably more than I have now."

Kinsbur laughed. "Do you two need a moment?" he asked, mockingly.

Heath shoved him jokingly. "How long will it be until you start annoying someone else?" he asked with false severity.

"About how long it'll take you to stand up to Taran," responded Kinsbur. They continued on like that for a time, always needling at one another. They were so engrossed in conversation, that they didn't even notice the group had stopped until Ielta walked into Taran. Taran said, without turning, "It appears we may be in trouble. A group of reds is approaching. And it's no hunting party. From here, I'd guess that it's a full legion." Heath's blood turned cold. The reds were a highly battle oriented society. They placed great emphasis on their code of combat, and on their own honor. Every red belonged to a legion. According to the histories, the reds had once been a huge collection of warring tribes. They'd eventually forged themselves into a single cohesive whole, but the legions were still organized according to tribe. A legion could be anywhere from a couple hundred to multiple thousands, for the reds had one of the largest populations of all the pikmin types. It was fortunate, Heath reflected, that the red code of honor prevented them from going to war against other nations without an extreme reason. If it were otherwise, then the million strong reds would have annihilated the ten thousand strong green nation a loooong time ago. As it was, there were occasional border clashes over the highly valuable veins of ore that ran through both the highlands of the greens and the cliffs and mesas of the reds. This legion appeared to be around three hundred strong. Taran spoke again, "I'm going to head down to rendezvous with the leader of this legion and see if we can reach an agreement. If negotiations fail, I want all of you to run like hell for Mesa Nero." Mesa Nero was the capital city of the green nation, and the place where the hunting party had come from. Heath had to admire Taran's courage in facing the potentially hostile army of reds all alone. He watched as the leader walked down towards the legion with growing apprehension. If they did not reach a consensus, then Taran would be hard pressed to escape with his life. Ielta seemed to sense his unease and placed a hand on his arm. They waited for what seemed an eternity. Just when Heath had decided they were going to have to run, Taran returned, accompanied by seven red flowers. The one nearest him was immediately recognizable to all present. He stood slightly taller than any of them, and he had a long scar running down his chest. His name was Coalheart Runm, leader of the Coalheart legion, and his name was the stuff of nightmares for the greens. He'd led the somewhat infamous Coalheart Legion in a viscous attack on the border city of Latrel, where Kinsbur had been born.

Something worth noting would be that pikmin can be produced from an onion by a pellet or body, which was the case of about three-quarters of the green population. Pikmin born from the same body or pellet were referred to as broodmates, and they came into existence with a connection to the onion that spawned them. This connection provided them with nutrients, eliminating the need to eat, sleep, or drink. It also provided them with a collective conscious. I don't mean that they were all mindless, with no distinct personalities. They were, however, capable of instantly being seized control of by the onion's massive consciousness. The onions only awakened on occasions of extreme danger to themselves, so the pikmin were very rarely subject to its will. When the onions were threatened, though, the pikmin would fight to the last man to protect it. If a pikmin's onion was destroyed, than there was a decent chance of the pikmin dying with it. Those that survived often went insane, or established a connection with a different onion. There were a few, though, who enjoyed the taste of freedom, and refused to give it up, even though it meant they would have to eat and drink and even sleep if they were wounded. Of the other quarter of the green populace, about half had been juvenile bulbmin found wild and converted via Emerald Candypop Buds. The final eighth of the green population had come from pods. These pods were produced by two pikmin parents, and could contain from one to ten pikmin within them. These pikmin would inherit their mother's color and main attribute, such as immunity to ice and cold for turquoise. They would inherit their father's feature, like noses for reds, and his secondary attribute, such as shockwave for purples. Kinsbur had come from a pod, unlike everyone else in the green hunting party. Both his parents had been green, so it was impossible for anyone to tell that he'd been from a pod by looking at him. Runm's forces had sacked the city, and when the city onion became threatened, both of his parents had died defending it. He'd only been two, but he'd escaped the city and fled all the way to Mesa Nero, avoiding predators and surviving in the wild all the way. He'd established a connection to one of the three Mesa Nero onions when he turned three, and he'd requested a position as a National Guard, and a station at Latrel, which had been recovered the previous month. He'd been turned down, gently informed that the National Guard was only for those who could prove themselves, and assigned to the Hunts. Now, as he stood facing the pikmin responsible for the destruction of everything he'd once held dear, Kinsbur was obviously fighting the impulse to give Runm a face full of his javelin. Heath leaned over and muttered to him, "Easy. If you attack, then we all die." Taran spoke then, and all eyes turned towards him. "We've reached an agreement," he said, "Coalheart Runm will come with us to investigate the sight. Once there, depending upon what we find, we may take whatever we can carry on our backs and leave the rest to the reds." Kinsbur spoke, the anger in his voice obvious. "We have only two dozen among us," he hissed, "The deal is hugely weighted in your favor." Heath heard a sharp intake breath from Ielta and felt her hand clench on his arm. Taran was staring at Kinsbur furiously, his face screaming Shut up, you idiot! Runm chuckled, and said, in a voice greatly incongruous to his reputation, "That is true. However, since we could wipe you out with ease right now, I think we're being very kind to give you anything at all. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," Taran quickly said, shooting a warning glance at Kinsbur, who had opened his mouth to protest. He closed it, looking mutinous. The party set off, Runm and Taran in the lead, the rest trailing behind. Though forced to walk together, the reds and the greens maintained an almost complete silence. Kinsbur was trailing slightly behind Runm and Taran, his javelin held in a distinctly hostile position. A pair of reds stood almost directly behind him, weapons in position in case the young green tried to kill their leader. Heath and Ielta followed a few steps behind them, and the rest of the party selected to come spread out in similar fashion behind them. Ielta whispered to Heath, "I bet if someone snuck up behind Kinsbur now, he'd impale Runm without even thinking. He's tense as a cornered dweevil."

Heath nodded his agreement, too concerned about his friend to speak. Finally, the group came to a stop at the rim of a crater. "What manner of evil is this?" whispered Runm in a stunned voice. Taran sagged to one side, shaking his head in horror. Kinsbur dropped his weapon. Heath, Ielta, and the rest of the group hurried forward to the edge of the crater and looked down.

It was instantly clear where the meteor had landed, for there was a gaping hole in the center of the crater, with no bottom in sight. Climbing from the dark maw were pikmin unlike any ever before seen. They were tan in color, with large pale eyes. Riding atop their stems were slender, twisting black horns. Already some thousand filled the crater, and all appeared to be armed. Scattered among the horde were strange devices made of black stone. They had the shape of giant crossbows, but they were loaded with ten massive arrows apiece. Runm spoke, his voice dry, "We have to warn the nations. I've never seen the like of this war machine."

"First, we may have to save ourselves," said Taran, his voice equally dry, "Look." He pointed towards a group of about fifty of the creatures approaching them, still about thirty yards away. (Note: all distances are measured as if the pikmin were human size.)

Runm lifted a heavy, double-bladed battle axe made of scandium from the harness on his back. "We're going to have to hit them hard, knock 'em senseless, and then run for our lives," he said, sounding far more intimidating and inspirational than before. But Taran shook his head and said, "We should try and outrun them first. If we lure them away then we might have a chance of defeating them. Or we could always fail to lose them, and then try your plan." Runm nodded, "Okay." But then a scream of agony drew all heads. Kinsbur stumbled backwards, hands clutching at a disk of sharp, black stone imbedded in his throat. Green chlorophyll gushed from the wound. He stumbled, fell, and dissolved into a green spirit, leaving the disk lying on the ground. Everyone froze for a moment. Then Taran yelled, "Hit the deck!" and greens and reds alike fell flat just in time to avoid a cloud of spinning black disks that whizzed over their heads. Heath sprang to his feet, Ielta a moment behind him. He looked down into the gorge. The monsters had closed the gap between them by half all ready. He turned to Taran and yelled, "There's no way we can outrun them! They'll be here in under half a minute!" Taran nodded and yelled, "Attack!"

Then, he turned and said, "Heath, Ielta, Runm, wait a moment." The three stopped, allowing the others to overtake them, and turned towards him. Taran said, "Runm, you need to get back to the Legion. Look!" he said, cutting off the protest forming in the leader's mouth, "You need to warn the rest of the reds, and they can't afford to lose your legion. I'm going to try and buy you some time!" Runm nodded, and brought his fist to his sternum, the red's traditional salute of highest respect. Then he turned and fled into the night. Taran turned back to Ielta and Heath. He said, in a no nonsense voice, "Heath, give me your spear." Heath handed it over, numb with the shock of his friends death. Taran took the dull green bromine weapon and handed Heath his scandium spear. "Take good care of it," he instructed. "You and Ielta have to get back to Mesa Nero and warn them. I'll do what I can to avenge Kinsbur, but you two have to escape. That's an order, understand?" Without waiting for a reply, Taran turned and plunged into the crater, and into the fight. Heath stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, but then Ielta grabbed his hand, and they fled off into the night.

Well, just my opinion, but I'd say this chapter is a hell of a lot better than my previous chapter for this story. Let me know what you think.