It was just after a new gig Roger just played and it went great as usual. His rock-and-roll voice wowed the crowd as it always did, but lately Roger hasn't been enjoying the attention as much as he used to.
Everyone was out celebrating at a small cafe, blowing some
of the money they made not twenty minutes ago. The huge group of
friends put all the tables together because a booth just doesn't cut
it for Maureen, Joanne, Collins, Mark, Mimi, Roger plus some other
friends and fans.
"A toast!" announced Mimi, standing on
her chair, drink in hand, "To the next rock star- and my
boyfriend... Roger Davis!" Everyone clapped as Roger smiled and
looked down sheepishly.
"Can you believe her?" he asked
to his best friend Mark who was sitting on his other side. Mark
simply smiled and shrugged.
"Well, you did do excellent."
He said. Mark was always a little jealous of Roger. Roger was always
just so cool and good at everything. Not to mention he could go out
with anyone he wanted. Mark's relationships never seemed to last
long. But Roger never bragged about himself. They've been best
friends since their senior year of high school when Roger got Mark
out of a locker some bigger guys stuffed him in, mistaking him for a
freshman.
_FLASHBACK_
"And
don't forget it, you little fucker!" one of the bigger seniors
barked as he shoved Mark into a locker and closed the door. They only
picked on him because he was so small and vulnerable. Mark never
actually did
anything to offend them.
"Hey! Guys! That's not funny! Let me
out of here!" yelled Mark as heard the laughter and footsteps
drift down the hall.
"Is anyone there? Hello?" Mark
yelled pathetically. Of course there was no one there. It was right
after school. Mark was running late along with those guys. Everyone
would be on the bus by now and he would have to stay there all
fucking night. He let out an exasperated sigh. This has happened
before, but it got old real fast.
After about a half hour of Mark
sitting in darkness wondering how he was going to explain this to his
parents and convince them not
to call the school, he heard footsteps coming near him. Before he
could say something the locker opened and another kid with dirty
blond hair opened the door.
"HOLY SHIT!!!" the kid
screamed as he saw Mark in his locker.
"Surprise." Mark
said under his breath, embarrassed as all hell.
"What the
fuck are you doing in my locker??" the kid screamed.
"Oh,
I just hide in peoples lockers for the hell of it." said Mark,
fed up with the way people treated him, "it's a hobby."
"Sorry,
man. Did those assholes put you in there?" The kid said,
offering Mark a hand up.
"Yeah."
"Well, sorry,
'bout freaking out like that. I'm Roger."
"Mark. Your in
my biology class."
"Oh yeah. I just got out of extra
help- I suck at Bio."
"I could help you out sometime if
you needed it." offered Mark, overjoyed that Roger Davis, one of
the most popular kids at school was being nice to him.
"Yeah,
sure. Thanks. Are you okay? Do you want me to talk to those guys for
you?"
The next day at school, the guys that put Mark in the locker came in with black eyes. From then on, Mark and Roger were inseparable.
-------* end of flashback*-------
"Hey
Roger, remember when we first met?" Mark asked
"Yeah...
what does that have to to with anything?" Roger asked
amused.
"Nothing, just... remembering." Roger
laughed
"Let's get outta here."
------THE NEXT DAY------
The next day passed without much to report. Collins was applying for a teaching job, Maureen and Joanne were out together, Mimi was working at her new job- a waitress, Roger was out for a walk and Mark was in his apartment, alone, as he so often was.
Mark seemed to be on his own a lot these days, what with Joanne and Maureen's relationship finally holding steady, Collins, engulfed in his work, trying to spread the word of AIDS and actual reality and, of course, Roger and Mimi spending every waking moment together. For some reason, Mark was extremely jealous, every time he saw them together. Sometimes he would wonder what it would be like in Mimi's place, holding hands with Roger. That didn't mean he liked Roger in that way though, does it? Even though Mark often felt that Roger deserves someone better, someone who knew him and how to handle his outbursts. Someone like him...
The day shifted into
evening and Mark began to worry about where Roger was. He only went
for a walk. Had he met up with Mimi? Why wasn't he back?
Mark
carried his bike down the stairs to go look for him. Maybe they could
go out to eat or something. Just the two of them.
As Mark rode
down the darkening streets, he heard violent coughing sounds in an
ally. Mark dismounted his bike and carefully approached.
"Hello?"
A
figure was on the ground hunched over in a fettle position and had
and had another coughing fit. Mark went over and turned the man to
face up.
"Oh, God." Marks heart stopped beating for a
moment, "Roger."
"Mark?" Roger said weakly, a
stream of blood running down the corner of his mouth.
"Shh."
Mark said and struggled to pick Roger up, "we have to get you to
the hospital. Just rest."
Mark walked out towards the street,
Roger in his arms, and hailed a cab, which, for once, stopped.
"We
have to get to the hospital!" Mark yelled at the driver, putting
Roger in the cab as gently as he could, "NOW!"
On the
ride there Mark held Roger's hand, and buried his head in Rogers
hair, taking in the scent, letting his tears run free. Roger's
breathing was shallow and uneven, but he was breathing
nonetheless.
"Your gonna be okay." Mark said, trying to
convince both Roger and himself.
After
what seemed like an eternity later they came to the local non-profit
hospital. The same one Angel died in. Mark threw a twenty dollar
bill- the last of his money- to the driver and carried Roger into the
E.R.
"We need help!" Mark yelled, not caring that
everyone was staring at him, "Somebody! Please!"
"Don't
worry" said a doctor taking Roger away putting him on a bed with
wheels, "We'll take care of him. Please take a seat." he
said motioning towards a pathetic little waiting room, where several
people sat.
All Mark could think about was how empty he felt, when
they took Roger out of his arms. He felt strangely light, but at the
same time, weighted down. What was wrong with Roger? Why was he
coughing up blood? Did he forget his AZT? Why didn't Mark remind him?
And most importantly, will he ever see him again? All of these
questions only entered his mind now, and they were too much to
bare.
"Are you okay, honey?" asked a nurse touching him
on the shoulder, "Can I get you anything?"
"I need
to make a few calls." said Mark, his voice shaking. The nurse
led him to a phone and Mark started dialing his friends
numbers.
Collins:
"Hey,
man, It's Collins, I'm not here right now and if you don't know what
to do at the beep, you shouldn't be using a phone."
Maureen:
"Hi!
It's Maureen! I'm not here right now, but I'll get back to you, just
leave you name, number and detailed physical description!
Bye!"
Joanne:
"Hello,
this is Joanne Jefferson, leave your name, number and I'll get back
to you."
And
finally, Mimi:
"Hey,
it's Mimi! I'm not here, so, I'll call you back as soon as I can,
bye-bye!"
Mark
left the same message:
"Somethings happened to Roger, we're
at the hospital. Get here as soon as you can."
Strangely,
Mark was almost relived no one was there. Maybe it was because he
couldn't stand to see anyone else's face reflecting how he felt.
Maybe it was because he needed room. Or maybe, he liked that when
Roger got out, Mark would be the first face he saw.
For
the next forty-five minutes, Mark sat wondering whether he would ever
see Rogers face again. What would he do without him? Could Mark
survive through this? He always knew that he would be one of the last
of his friends to live because, everyone with the exception of
Maureen and Joanne were positive for HIV and they weren't too close
with Mark.
The nurse who showed Mark the phone gently touched his
shoulder, breaking his trance. Mark looked up.
"Honey, your
friend wants to see you." she said. Mark nodded and followed her
into the room where he saw Roger. Roger was sick and pale looking. He
was wearing a hospital gown and some sort of needle was in his
arm.
"The nurse said that you carried me in here," said
Roger, "Not bad for a skinny little albino kid." he
teased.
"Roger, what are you doing here?" Mark
asked
"You brought me here, remember?"
"You know
what I'm talking about. Why did I have to bring you here? Why are you
sick and why didn't you tell me?" Mark demanded. Roger sensed
his anger and stopped smiling.
"Because... I stopped taking
my AZT." Roger admitted.
"Why the hell would you do
that?"
"Because, it's going to stop working anyway.
Mark, I'm going to die. I hate living knowing I'm going to suffer a
slow painful death."
"How long haven't you been taking
your medicine?" Mark asked taking Rogers clammy hand.
"A
few weeks I guess."
"Why didn't you tell me about
this?"
"I didn't want to scare you."
"Mission
accomplished." Mark retorted, "But, what about all you have
to live for?"
"Like what?" Roger snorted "Pain?
Poverty?"
"Like, Mimi! What about her?... What about
me?"
"With Mimi... it's complicated."
"What?"
"I...
I don't think I love her. Don't get me wrong- she's a great person,
and everything, but... I don't think she gets me. She just doesn't
know when to leave me alone, when I need to just be by myself.
Besides I think she likes Benny. She's been out a lot with him... And
as for you, you can get along without me." Roger said squeezing
Marks hand lightly.
"No... no I can't. Roger, I hardly made
it through Angels death... When you left for Santa Fe, a minute
didn't go by where I didn't think about you.... Look I know this
sounds really fucked up, but I think I-"
"Excuse me? I'm
sorry but visiting hours are over." said a nurse.
"Okay."
said Mark getting up embarrassed and frustrated.
"Wait, Mark,
what were you about to say?" asked Roger
"Nothing.
Forget I ever said anything. Do whatever you want. Live, die, it's
your choice. Besides, it's not like you have anything to live for."
Mark said, harshly. And he left Roger alone.
"Do you want a
few more minutes, honey?" the nurse asked after Mark closed the
door.
"No thanks."
"If you want, you can stay
here overnight." she offered. Mark thought for a moment.
"That
would be great, thanks." He couldn't leave Roger, no matter how
mad he was at him.
The nurse showed him a little empty cot and kindly asked if there was anything he needed. Mark was grateful that the nurse was so kind to him but was too busy trying to sort out his emotions to really show it. The nurse seemed to understand and left Mark in the dark.
Hours went by and Mark couldn't
sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Roger. Mark got up and
absentmindedly looked for Rogers room. He opened a random door and
sure enough, there was Roger, laying in peace, looking even more pale
from the moonlight. Mark went over to his bed and gently touched his
face.
"Like I said, I know this is fucked up," Mark said
to Roger who was unconscious, "But I think I'm in love with
you... please don't die... I don't want to be alone."
"I
love you too." said Roger, turning his head.
"HOLY
SHIT!! I thought you were sleeping!" said Mark
"Surprise."
said Roger, smiling. The two 'friends' looked at each-other for a
long time, when Mark leaned over and kissed Roger on the lips. The
sensation was better than either of them could of imagined. Roger put
his hand on Marks face and Mark held Rogers head up as the kiss
deepened. Any thoughts of anger, frustration or worry were left
behind as they realized that this- this simple and pure love, was all
they needed to get through any obstacle.
Neither of them heard the door open.
"I should lie on the verge of death more often." said Roger when they pulled away. They both laughed lightly as they soaked up this moment.
"Oh my god."
said a voice from behind them. Mimi stood at the door looking
shocked. Mark's head spun around in time to see her leave, angry and
confused. Mostly confused.
"She was bound to find out
sometime." said Roger
"...I should probably talk to
her." said Mark.
"Have fun. And come back soon."
Mark kissed Roger one last time and went out to look for Mimi.
Mimi
was in the waiting room, along with Benny, Maureen, Joanne, and
Collins.
"...and I walked in and they were kissing!"
Mimi was explaining the scene
"Oh, shit." Mark muttered
under his breath.
"Speak of the devil!" said Collins
laughing. Suddenly the entire room was staring at Mark. Including the
people who didn't know him.
"Look, Mimi, I didn't plan... I
didn't mean to... I mean, we've never...I didn't think that-"
"It's
okay, Mark." Mimi said, surprising Mark, "It's pretty
fuckin weird, but, if that's what makes you guys happy..."
"Not
to mention, Mimi's going out with me anyway." Benny piped in.
Mimi elbowed him in the stomach.
"You were cheating on
Roger?" Mark said, not sure whether to be relived or pissed.
Relived seemed like a better option,
"Well, at least it
turned out for the better, right?" said Collins,
"Congratulation, man!" he said draping an arm over my
shoulder and giving me a one-armed hug.
"Wow, Mark,
congrats!" said Maureen. Joanne nodded and smiled. The nice
nurse that helped Mark entered the room.
"Excuse me sir, I
just had a talk with Mr. Davis and he said that he hasn't been taking
his AZT recently, but he also said that he'll remember to do so and
he should be fine. We can release him this afternoon. We just want to
make sure that he's okay and run a few more tests."
"Great!
Thanks so much!" said Mark, who hugged the nurse and thanked her
for her troubles.
The rest of the day, the group of friends drifted in and out of Rogers room, leaving whenever he had to have another test because Maureen doesn't like needles. For one, everything was going right for Mark. Roger and Mimi broke up and neither of them were mad at each-other, everyone was in a good mood, Mark was finally in a relationship he knew would last with no doubts and best of all, Roger was going to live.
At about three
o'clock in the afternoon, Mark, Mimi, Benny, Joanne, and Maureen were
sitting in the waiting room, waiting for Roger to come out so they
could go home. Mark was just standing around when someone picked him
up and put him over his shoulder.
"Roger! What the hell?"
Mark said, laughing, holding on to his glasses so they wouldn't
fall.
"I'm returning the favor. I'm carrying you home so we
can get ready for our first date." Roger said walking out the
door. Mark could hear the laughs of his friends and probably anyone
else watching.
"Roger I'm really not comfortable with-"
"Okay
then, bridal style." said Roger, swinging Mark around like a rag
doll and holding him as if they were newly weds. Roger exited the
hospital as if he didn't just escape from death and he didn't have
his new boyfriend in his arms. A man passing them, looking confused
and Roger said, "Back off, he's mine."
"Roger, your
lucky your cute, cause your so fucking weird."
"But you
still love me, right?"
"Yep."
"I love you
too.
