Ed…………

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

G

Angst

Ed……

It was when Ed died….when everything had come crashing down into his world…. It was his fault or so he thinks it is.

Ed……

He blames himself for it. He wanted to suffer what he thought Ed had suffered. It was his fault that Ed had died. It was his fault that everything went wrong.

Ed……

If he had gone with him during that particular day. If he had stopped him. Ed would be in his arms now, peacefully by his side.

Ed…….

He felt sorry for what had happened. He hated his every bone in his body…. But what's the use? Ed's dead and he wouldn't come back.

Ed…….

He cursed himself. He should have been there to protect him, help him but he had no choice. He had to fight the president to end the war. Sorry's no use to Ed now. He's dead and will never ever come back…..

Now,

Roy was on his bed thinking about the sins he had commited. About his no use body. Riza came in. she sighed and said, "Roy, the doctor said you need to relax yourself. And must stay in bed all the time. So don't bother going out."

Roy smiled. He lay down while Riza peels off the apples she bought. She cut them one by one and feed Roy with it. Roy, eating the apple, thought of the day when he do the same thing just for Edward….just for his Edward.

Flashback

On the train….

"Taisa, what are you doing?"

"Peeling apples. What else?"

"I thought you don't know how to do even one god dam thing right."

Roy glared at Ed.

"Well… for your information 'Fullmetal' I know how to peel an apple. Nah."

Ed blinked.

"Huh?"

"Open wide."

"What the…."

He was soon cut off when Roy shoved a cut apple into his mouth. Roy chuckled. Ed managed to swallow the apple. He shouted, "What the hell are you doing! We're on the train! Goddammit!"

Roy smiled and said nothing. He loved it when Ed was back to his usual self. Ed sat down and sulked. Roy looked at him, stand up and went to sit beside Ed. He hugged him tightly.

"Mustang?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

Roy released Ed. Instead he roughly turned Ed around so he's facing him.

"Roy?"

"Ed…."

"?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes…"

Roy hugged Ed again. "Roy! Let me go! You're suffocating me!"

"Please. Let me be like this once. It may be the last time that I will be able to embraced you like this. Last time…"

"Roy…"

Flashback end.

"Roy….Roy…"

Roy snapped back to reality. "Yes?"

Riza gave him a worried look. "Are you sure you're okay? You have been like this since he died….."

Roy smiled and said, "Don't worry. I am just bored that's all…. Just forget about him. He's dead and will never come back. All that matters now is that I love you…"

Oh…How it hurts him to say like that to Riza not Ed but his subordinate, Riza. He should have said that to him on that day but ended keeping his mouth shut. He hated his cowardness, his not ability to speak with emotion to his one and only Ed….

Riza smiled. "……"

"What?"

"I have run out fruits. I need to buy some more. You stay here. I am going out for a while."

"I'll go with you."

"But… alright."

Roy changed his clothes and went out to the market with Riza. When they arrived, he waited outside while she's buying some fruits. He looked at her when a person walked by. Roy stopped in his track. That person, it couldn't be. Although the person was quite blurry. Roy quickly turned around and yell, "ED!"

Ed turned around and stared at the empty streets before him. There was no one around. He could have sworn he heard someone called his name.

"Ed… Let's go. We're going to be late," said his father.

"Yeah.. we got to hurry," said Ed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just heard a familiar voice calling me."

"Voice?"

"Yeah but there's no one around."

"It must be your imagination. Let's go."

"You're right..."

Roy… May my soul in the other world will protect you…

Ed turned around again, this time he missed a blurred person who was looking at him.

Riza, finished he shopping came out of the market and asked, "What are you yelling just now?"

"Nothing… Come on… let's go home."

"Yeah… Havoc said that you need to go to work tomorrow. Can you handle it?"

"Yes."

What is he doing…. Ed's not on this world anymore…. He had said that many times already. Ed's dead but he just don't want to admit it. Just like the incident on the train, he's right… Ed didn't come home after that. His body was never found. Nor his clothing… and it was his sin… no … a part of his life…had been destroyed by his own sin….by his own sin….

At his house, Riza listened quietly as Roy speaked about his encounter just now.

"Riza… Is that my hallucination?"

Riza was about to speak when she saw Ed… a smiling Ed, a happy Ed waving at her. She stared. Ed slowly warped his ghostly arms around Roy, still smiling at Riza. His smile seems to mean something, like he's thanking her or something.

"Riza?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you crying?"

Sure enough… tears were slowly flowing from her eyes as she saw Ed, arms warped around Roy's neck. Tears were also slowly flowing from his eye but he's smiling, a true smile.

"….. Roy, as the question you asked earlier… You're not hallucinating…"

"Huh?"

"Never mind…."

She let her tears flow as she muttered one last word, "Edward….."

END

Is this angst enough? I have no experience in writing this kind of stuff… is this ok? Plz review.