Valentine's Day Video
WARNING: Contains transcript of the Valentine's Day Video. If you don't like that, don't read.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dan or Phil. The following events are fictional and any opinions expressed are my own blah blah you know the drill.
A/N: I wasn't going to write another fanfic, but my last one got a couple (literally) of nice reviews so I figured why the hell not. Written in third person, but with some first person thoughts from Dan and Phil written in brackets. Phil's thoughts are in italics, Dan's are in italics and bold. Please feel free to leave reviews. I've not really written anything for the best part of two years so I would really appreciate some constructive feedback. Thank you!
It was the evening before Valentine's Day, and Phil had just had a brilliant idea. He knew the Phan shippers were going crazier with every collab video he and Dan made, pointing out every innocent touch and look, so he decided to play a prank on them. Phil had never been great at pranks, he remembered the countless time he had tried to scare Dan but earning nothing more than a fake glare from Dan in return for his efforts. He smiled to himself at the memories. But this one might just work. Nothing would make the shippers freak out more than him announcing his undying love for Dan, and having Valentine's Day tomorrow was just perfect timing. Dan would find it hilarious as well; they both loved teasing their fans. So he got out his camera and set to work.
Dan had never been a big fan of Valentine's Day since he met Phil. It was an entire day with the sole purpose of reminding him that the person he loved most would never love him back. Not in that way, anyway. Sure, he loved just being friends with Phil, but he craved something more. He had therefore intended to spend the day as Phil- free as possible, and had planned to start by spending most of the day in bed. So when he was awoken by hundreds, no, thousands of twitter notifications buzzing his phone to life at around 10 am (or as Dan liked to call it, too damn early) he was not best pleased. He slowly scrolled through some of the comments.
"OMG phan is real! 3"
"Awwww Dan and Phil are sooo cuteeee :)"
"Happy valentine's day guys! So happy for you both! Xxxxx"
He groaned loudly. His hopes of a Phil- free day were clearly out of the window already. Of course, it was relatively normal for Dan to receive multiple messages like this every day, but he couldn't help notice that the sheer number was abnormal. Even for Valentine's Day. He kept scrolling though, and eventually found a tweet with a link to a video. Dan clicked on it expecting to find another one of those "Why I ship Phan" videos, but was taken aback when he saw it was an AmazingPhil video. He clicked play curiously.
"Awrf."
(Why does he have to be so cute?)
"Hi Dan. Happy Valentine's Day."
(Wait, he made this video for ME?)
"I know you said we weren't gonna do anything for Valentine's Day, but you had to go to bed, leaving me for five hours with nothing to do. So, I have made this video, because I love you"
(WHAT?)
"and I've never had Valentine's Day with anyone before. So, this is me saying, "I love you.""
(I can feel my heartbeat in my head.)
"Plus, you got me loads of awesome birthday presents and I wanted to repay you, somehow, because it was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
The first time we met, I was the nervous-est person ever, as you could tell, and I was clawing at you, and biting you, but that was just because I really liked you, and luckily you saw through that. And then, when we were on the big wheel, I was like, "I really hope he likes me too." And then you kissed me, and my heart did that flippy-over thing, and, it'd never done that before, so… that was nice."
(Hang on, what? I've never kissed him…)
"And over the next few months we saw each other a lot and I slowly fell in love with you."
(No this can't be real)
"And I just thought I'd share some of my favourite memories that I have of us together.
So the first one is on the snowiest day ever, when we were walking through the abandoned hospital. And you had your hat on, and you lay down in the snow, and looked at the stars. And I lay next to you, and kissed you, and wrote "I love Dan" in the snow."
(That never happened. I'm damn sure I would remember if it did)
"Endless coffee in Starbucks, caramel macchiato, and our Starbucks sofa…
The week we spent together in my house was amazing, I think that's when I properly fell in love with you. And when we watched Wall-E on my sofa, and then cried. All the cuddles in bed, and three-hour breakfasts, more of those please."
(No, I tried to cuddle you and you kept moving away)
"Lying on the sofa and watching films, and lying in my bed, and funny times in my bed.
Also at the Halloween gathering when we realized that no other YouTubers actually eat, so we went and got some food and then sat on the fountain. At that point, I kind of realized that I didn't really care about the other YouTubers, I just wanted to be spending time with you. And we held hands, and then kissed, and looked at the stars."
(Why would you make something like this up?)
"And when we can't be together, all the hundreds of hours of Skype calls that we've had have made me eight million times happier.
And when I woke you up and said, "Mario!"
And all our Manchester days, and watching Avatar in 3D, and kissing in 3D glasses, and…"
(Goddamnit, Phil)
"So many other things, that I'm probably forgetting, but those are just a few that make me smile.
Meow.
And I just wanna say that I love you so much, and I'm so happy to have you in my life, and… you are the best person in the world. So thank you, for being so amazing."
(Oh god I can't breathe)
"I love you."
(No.)
"Happy Valentine's Day, Dan."
(Why would you do this to me?)
Phil heard the music from his latest video being played from Dan's room.
(Great he's up!)
He leapt playfully down the hallway, looking forward to having a great time with Dan laughing about all of this. "Hey you found the video then!" he called as he opened the door, the excitement making him forget to knock. "Have you seen how the entire Phandom has exploded? It's hilarious! I can't believe they all fell for it!" Phil suddenly realised Dan wasn't responding. He hadn't even looked up from his laptop screen. A small tear escaped Dan's eye, Phil's smile falling away with it.
"Dan, what's wro…"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, WHAT'S WRONG" Dan suddenly burst out, causing Phil to flinch back slightly. "THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG" he turned the laptop around and violently shook his finger at the screen, currently paused on Phil making a heart shape with his hands.
Phil was almost lost for words. Dan didn't get angry like this. Ever. "I… I thought it would be funny" he mumbled nervously.
"FUNNY? YES, PHIL. YOU CONFESSING TO THE WORLD YOUR LOVE FOR ME AND THEN TURNING AROUND AND SAYING IT WAS A JOKE. IT'S HILARIOUS. HOW COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY BELIEVE THAT YOU COULD EVER LOVE ME?!"
"Dan come on, I don't understand why you're so upset!" Phil retaliated defensively.
"NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'T PHIL! YOU DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH. YOU NEVER DO!" Tears were starting to stream down Dan's face now.
"DIDN'T THINK WHAT THROUGH, DANIEL!" He shouted back, gaining some courage.
"YOU DIDN'T THINK WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO PEOPLE. HOW MUCH SOME PEOPLE NEEDED THAT VIDEO TO BE TRUE. SOME PEOPLE WERE DEPENDING ON THE FALSE HOPE THAT PERHAPS ONE DAY YOU COULD POSSIBLY LOVE ME."
"Hey, I know the shippers are a bit crazy but I don't think any of them were 'depending' on us Dan."
"I'm not talking about the shippers Phil. It was never about the shippers." Dan said, finally not shouting.
"Then who, Dan? Who is it that needs me to love you so damned much?!"
"ME!" Dan roared, his voice and heart finally breaking into millions of pieces.
Phil stood staring at him in silence as they both realised the enormity of what Dan had just said. After a few painful seconds, Dan took a deep breath and stood up.
"Dan where are you…" but Dan had already barged past and was walking towards the front door. "Dan please we need to talk…" The door slammed shut. Phil collapsed against the wall with his head in his hands.
(What the hell have I done…? Dan loves me? Jesus Christ Dan! Couldn't possible have mentioned it in conversation at some point could you? I never even knew he was gay. Oh shut up Phil. That doesn't change anything. He's still Dan. But… how could he love me? Did he mean it? He looked so broken, he couldn't have faked that. So it's real. Dan really does love me. God I'm an idiot. That doesn't matter now. I just need to make this better. How the hell am I going to do that?)
He remembered what Dan had just yelled "some people needed that video". Obviously Dan had needed it. Needed it to be real, not just some awful prank. Maybe the video that had caused this mess could offer some solutions. Phil dragged himself off the floor and back towards Dan's room. He wrapped the duvet around himself, and the smell of Dan made him feel slightly more relaxed. Phil put the video back to the beginning and pressed play. He tried to watch it from Dan's point of view, imagining how he must have felt. As he listened to his own description of fictional events, he realised how much Dan must have wanted these to be real. The first kiss on the big wheel. Cuddles in bed. Gazing at the stars hand in hand. And as Phil thought about all these things and played through the scenarios in his head, he found himself smiling. He'd just realised something huge. He wanted these things to be real as well. The thought stunned Phil.
(I don't LOVE him, do I? I mean… I'm not… but he's so… this doesn't make any sense. I love him? When the hell did that happen? I love him. Really. I love him.)
After a few moments pondering his new found love for his best friend, Phil thought of a solution. If making a video got him into this mess, it could get him back out again. He hoped so, anyway. For the second time in 24 hours he fetched his camera and set it up, this time in Dan's room.
Dan wasn't sure how long he had been sat in Starbucks. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. He wasn't at their usual Starbucks. He couldn't face going there, not after Phil mentioning it in that stupid video. It had taken him two tubes and a bus for him to finally feel far enough away to deal with his thoughts.
(What the hell was he thinking? I mean, I couldn't expect him to know but still… I know it's not his fault he doesn't feel the same way. And I guess I would have found it funny if I wasn't in love with him)
Dan groaned internally at this thought. He didn't know how long he was going to have to stay sat here. Forever, perhaps. After all, he couldn't go back and face Phil again now. He'd have to go back at night when Phil was asleep and collect all his stuff. But where would he go? He didn't really want to go back home to his parents, but it didn't seem as if he had a choice. After an unfathomable amount of time and a countless number of coffees he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was a text message from Phil. Dan bit his lip in a bid not to cry in public. He shakily breathed out and opened the message. It simply said "Please watch" and had a link to a YouTube video.
(Here goes nothing)
He put his earphones in and pressed the link. It was Phil, obviously. But this time it was a privated video. Only people with the link could see it. And with the title "For Dan" it was clearly meant only for him. He clicked play.
"Awrf"
(Oh god it's the same video again. Why would he… Hang on- is he in my room?)
"Hi Dan. Happy Valentine's Day. Again. I know you said we weren't going to do anything for Valentine's Day, but I was stupid and you had to walk out leaving me with nothing to do.
So, I have made this video, because I'm sorry. I was an idiot to you and I wanted to repay you, somehow.
When you walked out earlier it made me really think about what's important to me. And it was a bit of a shock, but I realised that what I want most is you. I want all of those things I talked about in the last video. I know it was all made up, that we didn't kiss on the big wheel or watch films cuddling in my bed or any of that other stuff. But why can't we? I can't think of anything better than spending the rest of our lives making up for lost time.
I know you probably hate me right now and I don't blame you- what I did was stupid and inconsiderate. But I want to tell you I'm so happy to have you in my life, and you really are the best person in the world. So thank you for being so amazing.
I love you. And I mean that so much. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and more than I ever could again.
I understand if that's not what you want anymore. I'm so sorry that it took me so long. So please, just come home Dan. I just need you back here.
Happy Valentine's Day, Dan"
Dan watched the video through another three times, hundreds of questions filling his head as he tried to figure out what Phil was saying.
(What… I don't… he loves me? How do I know he's telling the truth? But he wouldn't lie would he? I mean, it's Phil. He wouldn't do that. But after all this time? That doesn't matter now. At least he apologised… Crap. I have to as well. I just yelled at him and stormed out with next to no explanation. I have to go home and face him. Urghh. And if he does mean it? I can't think about that. I just need to get home.)
Ten, twenty, thirty minutes passed, and Dan still wasn't home. Phil was getting more worried with each passing second and had resorted to pacing up and down the hallway.
(Oh god he's not coming. He hates me. Or maybe just he hasn't seen my message. Does he even have his phone on him? Of course he does. He wouldn't leave the house without it. It's my fault. He's never coming back and it's all my fault.)
Phil gave up his pacing and sat himself down on Dan's bed, once again wrapping the duvet around him. He had no idea what he was going to do without Dan, especially now that he'd realised he was in love with him. After what seemed like an eternity, Phil was so tired and cosy that he barely heard the familiar sound of Dan's keys jingling in the lock. He'd given up all hope that Dan was coming back so was surprised to see him suddenly standing at the end of the bed. Phil scrambled around trying to get out of his duvet cocoon and stand up.
"Phil, I'm so sorry. I never should have walked out like that… Oof!" Dan was interrupted by Phil's body slamming against his and crushing him in a tight hug.
"No. Don't say sorry. I was such an idiot." Phil breathed into Dan's neck. Dan pushed Phil away slightly, keeping hold of his arms tightly.
"Did you mean what you said in the video?" Dan said, his voice barely a whisper.
"Every word." Phil whispered back.
Dan pulled Phil back towards him and their smiling lips collided. Neither wanted this moment to end, but after a few breathless minutes they broke apart. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that" Dan chuckled into Phil's ear. Phil hugged him tighter.
They embraced each other for a while longer before Phil broke the silence. "I love you, Dan. Never leave me again."
"Never" he whispered back.