It's been two weeks after Augustus's death. I feel like a bag of darkness, but the other half of me felt like he is now on the care of not worrying about oblivion or cancer. I'm on the stage of anxiety; part of me feels like I should never go anywhere again…like I know I will blow up one day. I have been in bed more than four days. My mom and dad worry sick for me, they are kneeling besides the bed as if I was on my death bed. "Mom, I'm okay… you guys should probably go back to work again. I'm going to get fresh air. God, I have been in bed too long."
My dad was crying again. When I mean again, he cried like five minutes ago. "Sweetie, we all love you. Gus is smiling on all of us, he loves you… you have to stay strong for all of us baby girl." my mom smiled at me but by the corners of her lips, she seemed more worried. I stood up and hugged my parents and wiped the tears of their tired, red eyes. "I love you guys so much. I'm going to take a walk."
"Okay sweetheart." I cried again when I heard the word okay, it made me think of Gus and our little okays. My dad inserted some tubes to the oxygen tank and my mom helped me change and bring the oxygen tank down the stairs. I put on a coat and walked out of the house, the sky was gray as if nature pitied me. Shit, I am so tired. I walked to Starbucks. People who I don't know greeted me with I'm sorry and Augustus is smiling upon all of us, I smiled back at them and tried so hard not to cry.
A gorgeous cashier, when I mean gorgeous, I mean a different looking kind of Augustus Waters, with dark black hair, dark skin and brilliant sea green eyes. He had the same Gus smile. God, I was about to cry thinking of Gus again, oh shit. I'm pretty sure I was blushing because he smiled at me so hard. Damn, he was really hot. He greeted me and asked what is my name, "Hazel Grace."
"You mean Hazel Grace so beautiful." I laughed at his joke. It reminded of me of Augustus…I felt like crying again but the cashier's warm smile made me not want to cry. He said, "So Hazel so beautiful, what would you like to order?"
I ordered a hot caramel macchiato. I got my order and put some cinnamon in my coffee. I noticed sloppy writing on the back of the cup, it wrote, "To Hazel so beautiful. From your prince cashier, Sammy Miller."
God. I was blushing as I warmed my death hands with the cup of coffee. I hope Sammy didn't see that because as I walked out the door, he smiled and screamed, "Don't forget to come back or call me!" I looked under the bottom of the cup and saw a phone number with big sharpie heart around it. I smiled back at Sammy and head out the door. I was walking and then my lungs were hurting, the pain shocked so hard, it made me collapse to the sidewalk.
Darkness rang around me. I woke up to the sound of crying… it was my parents kneeling beside my bed. I sat up and saw I was in an emergency room. "Sweetie! Thank God you're okay!" My mom hugged me so hard I thought she was going to squeeze the hell of my crap lungs. "Mom, what happened?"
"You fainted since one of the tubes fell out. Mommy and Daddy saw you when we went to go to get coffee."
"It has been three days sweetheart. We thought you gave up on us baby girl." My dad hugged me and looked at me with his sad eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too."
We went to visit Augustus at the church. I stood near his grave. My father put his arm around me. I cried remembering everything that happened. I miss Augustus so much, my heart seemed to crack in half. I placed flowers near his grave. I whispered, "I love you forever and more than any infinities that can replace us. I miss you so much and I know that you are trying so hard to come back. I love you forever, my dear Augustus." I bent down and kissed his grave. My dad and I went home.
I remembered about Sammy's cup. "Where is the cup?"
"Oh, we left it on your bed, Hazel"
"Oh thank you so much. Love you!" I kissed my mom and went to my room. Thank God the cup was still there. I added Sammy's number to my contact, instead of calling him, I texted him, Hey. It's your so called Hazel so beautiful.
He responded, what up princess? call me. I dialed his number, "Hello."
"Hey beautiful"
"Hello."
"I want to invite you to the movies this Thursday."
"Umm, I don't even know you Starbucks Cashier aka stranger."
He laughed on the phone, "Miss Hazel Grace, you are so beautiful even when you try to be funny." I blushed and I don't even know how he knew I blushed because he said, "Aww I hear you blushing. So that is a yes, see you at the Greenlast movie theater!"
"Fine I will just for prince cashier!"
"My mum is calling me, I got to go. Bye princess!" He hung up. It was 11:46. I am so freaking tired. I tried to sleep but it was hard since my crap lungs are killing me and so were the sweet memories of Gus. God, I miss him so much. Ten minutes later, I received a text from Sammy, See u princess Okay?
My lungs were hurting, oh crap. I couldn't breathe. My hands were sweating as I typed...
Oka