It was winter and everyone at Dalton was out stocking up for the inevitable snow storm that would happen even though weather forecasts swore it would be sunny and cloud free in the coming weeks, we've been snowed in every winter I've been here, why is it going to change now? I've already did my half of the deal, I've collected blankets from home, every DVD I own, back up- back up laptop batteries, my slightly larger mini-fridge, the rest of my game collection and enough books to keep us entertained for months. Us meaning me and Jeff by the way. He is out getting everything else we would need, food, chocolate, peanut butter MnM's, latest Harry Potter DVD, Red bull, flashlight batteries and yeah, everything like that. He should be back by now though, he probably got distracted by the candy counter…. He does that a lot.
Just as that thought left my head the door opened, revealing a very disorientated Jeff.
"Sure took you long eno… Jeff, w-what happened?" Jeff just looked me, shirt torn, hair messed, covered in mud and the odd scratch grazing his face. He looks so broken; he's not my happy playful boyfriend anymore.
"Nick I-I it's nothing, it doesn't matter, I'll just go and get washed and changed" Jeff turned around to pick some clothes out of his dresser, inwardly moaning at the pain pulsing though his body.
"Jeffrey Sterling don't you dare lie to me! You look like you've just been ran over don't you dare say it doesn't matter." Jeff looked even more hurt, if it was possible, his eyes started tearing up as he fixed his gaze to the wall. "Jeff I'm sor-"
"No, I'm sorry I should know by now not to lie to you Nick, I ju-just don't want to talk about it yet okay?"
"Okay, but I'm always here. Always" said Nick as he made his way closer to Jeff, holding out his arms.
"I know baby, thank you" Jeff let himself fall into Nicks arms and clutched him so tightly it hurt. "I'm going to go and clean up"
Just as the bathroom door clicked Nick raced down to the car park, surely he left something of significance in his car, I'm pretty sure he has a jacket on when he left anyway. After 10 minutes of running around Daltons never ending car parks Jeffs car was no-where to be seen. He won't have gone to the store without his car, it's about a 30 min walk away, and come to think of it he didn't bring anything from the store in with him. Nick turned around and made his way back to the room just as Jeff was leaving the bathroom, looking much better if it wasn't for the slightly covered red marks on his face and the darkness of his eyes you wouldn't be able to tell something was wrong, well the average person wouldn't be able to tell something was wrong. I on the other hand am a Jeff specialist so therefore I can tell something is wrong even under all the concealer he is currently wearing and them skin tight jeans, which he has to wear more often, what he's my boyfriend I'm aloud to say that type of stuff! Wes on the other hand is not, no matter how much he thinks he can.
"Hey" greeted Jeff, visibly happier than before, not happy, just happier. He was rummaging around the room for something until his eyes fixed onto the pile of DVD's I had brought from home. "You brought Nightmare before Christmas! Dude this is awesome, can we watch it Nick! Please, please, please!"
"Of course we can" Jeff smile broadened but his eyes still remained dull; I hope he tells me what's going on soon. I can't take him being upset and me not being able to do anything about it, it's like I fail at being his boyfriend.
We spent the night curled up together, Jeff holding me a bit tighter than usual, watching movie after movie, a Tim Burton inspired night I guess you could call it we watched Nightmare before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands and Alice in Wonderland! It was getting late by the time the ending credits started to roll and Jeff, obviously tired from everything that had happened that day, was just about keeping his eyes focused. "Come on then, bed time for you Jeffy"
"Buuh I don't wanna'…." Jeff replied, his voice dripping with tiredness, his head dipping slightly "actually I do, Night Nicky"
"Night baby" Nick lead Jeff over to his bed, pulled the covers over him and leant down to kiss his forehead before crashing in his own bed. Falling asleep almost instantly, he would have stayed that way if it wasn't for Jeff talking in his sleep.
"Go away, please don't touch me…." Nick woke up to Jeff saying this, well more shouting it "Please, please don't hurt me! Please….PLEASE!" Nick jumped up out of bed and was at Jeff's bedside in a second.
"Baby…. Jeff wake up sweetie, I'm here no one's going to hurt you, come on wake up" He started shaking Jeff slightly by the shoulders, but he still didn't wake. Kissing him normally wakes him up, so that's what he did.
"NO!" Jeff shouted, wrestling his way out from under Nick "Don't kiss me, anything but kiss me…. no not that, don't touch me…please….please" Nick shook him more now.
"Jeff it's me Nick I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here baby, come on wake up" Jeff woke with a jerk, sitting up slightly then relaxing when he saw Nick. "You ok sweet heart?" Jeff's eyes started watering slightly before turning into to full on waterfalls as he buried his head into Nicks shoulder, embracing Nick tightly before shaking his head. He was going to find out what happened that afternoon; he was going to help him….. But of course with Jeff, that is easier said than done.
"Shhh… sweetheart, I'm here no-one's going to hurt you" Nick cooed as he rocked Jeff slightly, keeping his grip firm yet soothing, stroking his hair whilst doing so, multitasking is a gift. He carried on doing so until Jeff had calmed down enough to talk. "Want to tell me about it?" Nick asked lifting Jeffs head up until he was nearly eye level with him, looking him directly in the eye, his eyes still clouded and dull, I miss the liveliness that was once there.
"I-I can't Nicky I can't…" he started tearing up again as he once again hid his face in Nicks shoulder "I can't Nicky….. not yet."
"Okay baby, like I said I'm here when you need me, okay?" Nick questioned, he knew Jeff far too well, Jeff thinks he is invincible, that he can cope with everything that gets thrown at him on his own, and he needs to know that I'm here. "I mean it Jeffy, even if you just want a hug, wake me up or call me and I'll be there"
"I love you" Jeff mumbled into his shoulder, simple words I know but we don't say them that much, not that we don't mean it but we both believe that these words are sacred and should be used with great care.
"I love you too baby, now come on let's try and get some more sleep" Nick lowered Jeff back down on his bed properly and pulled the sheets over him, leaving a chaste kiss on his forehead. He started making his way over to his bed but Jeff grabbed his arm, stopping him from getting further away.
"Sleep with me tonight?" Jeff looked up and locked eyes with Nick. "Please?"
"Of course" Jeff shuffled over to make room for Nick before throwing the covers over for him to get in. Once in Nick allowed Jeff to cuddle into him, this is what always happens when of one of us Is scared or unwell, a good cuddle never goes amiss. Jeff snuggled closer and finally relaxed enough to sleep again, I kiss his head once more, he loves that, and settle down to sleep.
The alarm went off at 7:30 prompt, like usual, waking both of us from our restless slumber. Jeff had woke up a further 2 times during the night and needed consoling by Nick, so neither were in a particularly good mood, though Nick was sure it wasn't just the lack of sleep that was still eating at Jeff.
"Nick! Could you pass me a towel please?" called Jeff, who was currently taking his morning shower, whilst of course forgetting his towel so Nick had to conveniently pass him the towel whilst he is naked… naughty Jeff.
"Uhhh…. Here!" Nick went to walk in the door but was stopped by Jeff pushing himself against the other side. "Dude come on let me in"
"No, just pass it through please" Jeff said punctuating it by opening the door slightly, Nick handed him the towel and Jeff shut the door again, locking it once more. He's acting really strange, normally Nick seeing him naked didn't matter, they had been dating for nearly 2 years for crying out loud! What ever happened yesterday has really knocked him…
Other than that the morning went by relatively normal, Jeff was joking around with people, daydreaming in class, planning pranks everything that he was known for, that did only last for the morning though. As lunch time came around Nick and Jeff headed to the lunch room, taking a seat the well known Warbler table, nothing special just a table they always sit at. Sitting next to Nick, Jeff did seem okay, that was until Thad took a seat on the other side of him.
Jeff scooted closer to Nick, which isn't strange really; Jeff was a naturally clingy guy especially when it came to Nick. But then after a conversation concerning football Thad decided to demonstrate something on Jeff, Jeff didn't appreciate that. Jeff jumped up, knocking the table slightly in the process.
"Woah sorry dude, didn't mean to scare you" Thad said, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Jeff you okay?" asked Nick staring intensely at his boyfriend.
"Umm, yeah I'm just going to ermm." And with that Jeff fled the lunch room, Nick closely behind.
"Jeff! ….. Jeff wait up!" Nick ran to Jeffs side as he finally came to a stop in the corridor. "Baby what happened back there?" he asked cautiously resting his hand on his shoulder.
"Nick I'm not going to bite you, you can put your hand on my shoulder"
"Wha-I know, I know it's just back there…"
"I get it, I freaked, can we just forget it please?"
"Jeff look if this is about yester-"
"Just leave it Nick!" Shouted Jeff his eyes turning darker, if possible, Nick took a few steps back making his hand drop from his shoulder. He was hurt to put it lightly, very, very hurt.
"You know what, no. I will not just leave it Jeff! You're hurt, you know how I know? I'm your boyfriend! Do you realise how much it is hurting me having to watch you be in this much pain and you not tell me about it! Not even a hint about what you are going through, don't you dare tell me that it's nothing! The nightmares and all it took was Thad touching your shoulders and you jumped up and ran, you're still shaking, it's defiantly not nothing is it Jeff? I'm trying to help you Jeffy I want to help you but I can't if you won't let me in… please Jeffy… you don't have to do this on your own" Nick lectured, moving closer to Jeff nearer the end. Jeff just continued to stare at Nick, slightly disconnected until his eyes started watering. "Come on, let's go back to the dorm" Jeff just nodded along with it, leaning into Nick as he placed his arm around him and lead him up to their dorm room.
Nick sat both of them down on the bed, closing the door behind him. He really didn't want to push Jeff to tell him what happened but now he was too worried to care about what would happen if Jeff got angry at him for pushing.
"You going to tell me baby?" Nick cooed, rubbing circles on Jeffs back, trying to stop him from shaking. "I won't tell anyone sweetie, you know I won't, I just want to help"
"I can't Nicky…. I can't" Jeff was crying again, leaning further into Nick.
"Why can't you sweetie?"
"He told me not to…"
"Who did sweetie?" asked Nick, tightening his grip slightly as Jeff tensed.
"He did…" Jeff whispered.
"Wait, Jeff look at me" Nick used his index finger to pull Jeffs chin up until he could look into his eyes "What did he do to you?"
"He raped me."
"What!" Nick gripped Jeff tighter, shaking with anger. Who thought they had the God damn right to touch him that way, I'll kill him the pathetic wretched pitiful disgusting little slimy good for nothing piece of -
"Nick stop planning to kill him" Jeff said in monotone.
"Nobody, I mean nobody touches you and gets away with it, especially the way he did, what they did was wrong Jeff how can you not-"
"I see it Nick! How could I not bloody see that what he did was wrong! Eh? Do you think I stood there calmly and let him do it because I thought it was right, because I thought it was normal! Of course I bloody well didn't I'm not stupid!" Jeff cried, he had pulled away from Nick and stood up before his little speech. Still shaking with adrenalin Nick launched out of seat on the bed and crushed Jeff with a hug, cooing and rocking him until he calmed down, until they both calmed down.
"I know you're not stupid baby, I know you're not" Nick said into Jeffs ear "I'm here baby, I'm always going to be here… we'll find him, we will, I promise"
"NO! I mean can we just leave it… please?"
"Jeff you can't just leave it! He touched you that way he doesn't deserve to live! What if he comes back for more? What if he does it to other people? Jeff he has to be found."
"Nick I can't!" Jeff cried into his shoulder "I can't, I wasn't even supposed to tell you"
"Jeff, Jeffy look at me, you're not telling me everything…" Nick looked Jeff directly in the eye, eyes that were still clouded over with the trauma of what had happened to him. "Jeffy, I can only help if I know what happened…"
"He threatened to kill me if I told anyone" Nick didn't know what to say, for once he was actually gobsmacked, he just held his Jeff, his Jeff no one else's, his. He held him for what felt like hours, days but it didn't matter he was ok, he was breathing, he was here.
"He is not getting anywhere near you. I can promise you that, I don't care what I have to do you will be safe, no-one is ever going to lay a hand on you again okay?" Jeff just nodded into Nicks shoulder; he seemed to be doing that a lot. "Jeff what else did he do? Don't look at me like that Jeff when you came in you look like you had been dragged through a hedge"
Jeff got up and locked the door before he started to take his blazer of revealing red marks all the way up his arm as if someone had grabbed him forcefully by it. Nick got up and gently ran his hands along it, before kissing his way up and back down again, trying to rid him the feeling of that disgusting mans hands all over him. "Oh Jeffy…" was all that he could say without chocking. Jeff continued to take of his shirt, were you could see purple bruises covering his right side;
"They kicked me whilst I was on the floor…"
Nick just stared as Jeff proceeded to take his trousers off, wincing whilst doing so. It wasn't until he was stood straight that Nick could see the damage actually done, there was a huge red gash the length of Jeffs thigh on his left leg and bruises on his right.
"They cut my left leg so I turned onto that leg when they started kicking me…"
Nick gathered a half naked Jeff into his arms and held him tight, not tight enough to hurt but tight enough to make Jeff feel a bit better. "Oh sweetheart…" was all he said as he looked at the damage slightly closer, Jeff only tensing for a second when he passed his crotch." Sweetheart… you know you said he ermmm, hurt you in other ways?" Jeff nodded urging him to continue "Well did he errm, do any lasting damage?" Jeff just looked at me, he knew what I meant, he looked torn like he didn't know if he should tell me. "I won't hurt you baby, you know that, I won't even look if you don't want me to, I just need to know" I was balanced on my knees in front of him now, looking up at him to see his reaction.
Jeff stared at me for a good few moments before slowly nodding, his eyes watering at the thought. This man was going to pay, I miss my blonde bombshell! He started shaking from the force of the tears, I just hugged him again, carefully avoiding the injuries I started rubbing his back soothingly "I won't look sweetheart, we will get you looked at" Jeff looked as if he was about to argue back "We will even lie say you are just really clumsy, well that's not really a lie but you know what I mean, but you need all of this looking at sweetheart, it could be serious."
"Nicky, can we stay here for the rest of the day?" It was 1:15pm and lessons resumed soon, but Jeff looked so lost and scared… I can't leave him, not now.
"Ok, we'll can watch a movie if you want?" Jeff nodded his head, a ghost of his former smile making its way onto his face. I grabbed some of my old clothes and helped him get dresses without hurting him, I then slipped my old Dalton jumper over his head, 2 sizes to big (I lost a lot of weight in the past few years ok?) he looked adorable in my clothes, like he always did as we settled down to watch the movie. Letting the world go by them for the rest of the day, making the most of it because they both knew they were in for a rough winter this year.
A/N I put the first 3 chapters into one because I thought it made more sense! Thank you all for your kind comments already!