Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. I am not her. Not yet, anyway.. still working on that technology.

A/N Hello all! Thank you for giving me a shot! This is my first fanfiction, as well as the longest thing I've ever written. Please tell me if I writing anyone OOC, if I am abusing British lingo (I'm a full-blooded American), or if I'm making any mistakes consistently.

James Potter was getting seriously tired of his best friend's attitude.

"Honestly Padfoot, you broke up with that bird from Ravenclaw yesterday, and you're already snogging someone else."

Sirius Black smiled and winked at his frustrated friend. "Just because Evens will never in a million years return your affections doesn't mean I should deny the female population of Hogwarts my amazing company."

Beside James, Remus let out a sigh, mumbling something about a narcissistic, egotistical, git.

"Come on, Moony. It's not egotistical if it's the truth. I quite honestly am the most charming, handsome, amazing person to ever have graced the hallowed halls of Hogwarts."

Peter Pettigrew, always appreciative of alliteration, gave this declaration a smattering of applause.

Encouraged, Sirius continued, declaring, "there is not a single bird currently in Hogwarts that would not be honored to go on a date with me: I am that amazing."

A pause followed that announcement. Peter looked at Sirius wide-eyed, awed by his confidence. Across the table, Remus looked at his friend slack-jawed, honestly surprised that he could be so self-absorbed. Next to him, James was smiling in a way that Sirius recognized. It was the smile James gave Snivelllus right before he got jinxed.

"Would you be willing to bet on that?"

"Bet on what?" Peter asked.

"Would you, Padfoot, be willing to bet me, Prongs, that you could get a date with any girl currently at Hogwarts?"

"But of course Mssr. Prongs. What would be the terms of this bet?"

James grinned even wider. "I get to pick any girl in the school, and if you can't manage to get her to go with you on the next Hogsmeade's trip, then you pay me five galleons."

"And when I win?"

"Then I will pay you the same amount." Sirius stared at James, considering the bet. Suddenly, he turned his head.

"Remus?"

"Yes, Sirius?" the other boy asked, amused.

"Do the terms sound alright?"

The werewolf gave the matter some thought. "Yes, but I would add that the girl James picks cannot be a teacher, or anyone younger than third year."

"I hadn't even thought of that!" James declared. "Though, if I had, I totally would have made you ask MInnie."

From the head table, Professor McGonagall glared down at the Marauders, as if she could tell the subject of their conversation.

"But I agree to the terms," James said smiling, "Shake on it?"

Sirius stood up, shook hands with James, and then sat down. "So... Who's the lucky lady?"

James smiled "Elizabeth Matthews."

Remus spit out his pumpkin juice at the name, and Petter chocked on a piece of bacon. Sirius looked at his friends with some concern. After a few seconds, Remus had recovered enough to choke out a question.

"Um... James... Isn't Liza..." he trailed off, looking at Sirius.

James, completely unfazed, happily answered "Already dating someone? Why, yes. She is."

Remus was about to say something when James passed him a bar of chocolate.

"Well then, I have to be off to go do write a Herbology essay. Best of luck, Sirius. Oh, and by the way, James, they actually broke up." Remus then walked out of the Great Hall, already opening up the chocolate bar.

"Hah!" Sirius cried out. "Take that Prongsy! You thought you were so clever, daring me to go out with a bird who already had a boyfriend. What was he, a Beater on the Quidditch team? But turns out she broke up with the bloke, and now she is completely susceptible to my charm. Those galleons are mine!"

James, instead of looking worried, or at least put-off, still had a dumb smirk on his face. "Go for it, mate. Do you know which girl she is?"

All of a sudden Sirius had a sinking feeling in his stomach. That would be just like Prongs, to make him go out with a modern-day Moaning Myrtle. But as James pointed her out, Sirius was surprised.

She was a Ravenclaw, with blond hair in a pixie cut. He was too far away to tell much else about her, but it looked like she had a nice figure. He was reasonably sure he had never had a class with her, so she was probably a fifth year, and not a sixth like himself. All in all, he was surprised he hadn't already dates her her. At least, he didn't think he had dated her. He had never been good with that. Still, he felt up to the challenge.

"Watch and learn, boys," he winked at James and Petter as he stood up and waltzed over to the Ravenclaw table. He heard several whispers of it's him and he so hot and Hogsmeade is coming up, who is he asking? By the time he reached the Ravenclaw table, all of the girls were looking at him. Or, all of the girls but Liza.

"Hello there, it's Liza, right?"

She looked up at him, and he saw that she had brilliant green eyes. We're talking Evans green.

"Yes. Can I help you, Mr. Black, is it?"

"Call me Sirius. And actually, yes you can. You see I suffer from severe loneliness," Liza raised her eyebrows at that, "and I was hoping you help me fix that by agreeing to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend."

Suddenly the table was weirdly silent. Two identical giggles burst out, and Sirius spun around to see two of his supposed 'friends' giggling like a pair of first years.

"Shut it you gits! You two are really killing my vibe here." as his friends struggled to compose themselves, Sirius turned back towards his soon-to-be date. "So, what time would you like to meet up?"

Liza smiled up at him. "Sorry, but no thanks," she said. The girl stood up, and walked right our of the Hall, leaving in her wake her slyly smiling friends, two giggling teenage boys, and one very stunned Marauder.

O..o..O

"I don't understand" Siruis Black lamented to his friends. "It just goes against everything I've figured out about females in the past seventeen years. She just got went through a break up, she should be emotionally wrecked and on the look out for a new boyfriend. That plus the fact that I am the single most attractive male in the school-"

"Not to mention humble."

"Excuse me, Prongsie dearest, do I interrupt you during your monologues on romantic trials?"

"Yes."

"Every time," Peter added.

Sirius cleared his throat, "As I was saying, it just doesn't add up. Unless she's not attracted to me..."

At this, Remus looked up from his Potions essay and opened his mouth to speak. But before he did, James passed him another chocolate bar. The werewolf accepted the bribe and went back to his essay. But not before Sirius noticed the whole exchange.

"Moony? Were you about to say something?"

Remus looked nervously between Sirius, James, and the chocolate. "Well...Maybe... She's doesn't find you attractive," he started, but under the weight of James's glare, continued, "Maybe she thinks you're ugly or something."

Sirius stared at his friend, slack-jawed. Then he abruptly stood up and ran out of the room.

"Look what you did," James scolded, "I think you actually might have give him confidence issues."

Remus snorted "He already had overconfidence issues; a little insecurity will be good for him. Would you prefer I tell him the real reason she will never go out with him?"

"Don't you dare. Those chocolate bars are supposed to buy your loyalty."

"Besides," Peter added, "it'll be way too funny to see his face when he actually figures it out."

O.o..O..o.O

Liza found her study group interrupted when Sirius Black came running into the Library.

"Oi! Liza! I need you to answer a question right now." Sirius shouted. Across the Library, Madam Pince glared at the boy so viciously that he ran up to the study group before continuing. "First off," he whispered "I would once again like to ask you out. Will you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Liza stared at him, somewhere between confused and annoyed. Around her, her friends shared knowing glances, and Sirius got the feeling that he was missing something. Something important.

"Look, I'm really sorry, but I am not at all interested in dating you."

Sirius started to panick. His first attempt was not an anomaly; there was actually a girl who didn't want to date him.

"Okay then," Sirius said, recovering. "Secondly: how attractive am I?"

Liza smiled at him indulgently, then responded in the tone one uses to talk to a child, saying "You are probably the most attractive male in the school." Then, she turned to her friends. "I don't think I'm getting much studying done here. I'm going to head up to the common room to finish this. See you all at dinner?" As they nodded, she turned back to Sirius. "Look, if you really need a date to Hogsmeade, I know twenty or so girl who would love to go with you."

And with that, she was gone. Leaving Sirius staring after her. What, he said to himself, is going on with her? she thinks I'm attractive, but won't go out with me? There's more to this story. He thought back over the last day, and remembered Remus and his chocolate bars. James is bribing Remus not to tell me something. Bribing him with chocolate. Sirius smirked. Two can play at that game.

d..o.O.o..b

Up in the dorm, Remus sat, reading a heavy tome, when Sirius waltzed in. He plopped down next to Remus on the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading," Remus answered absently.

"Bor-ring," Sirius sang.

Remus gawked at him while he clutched the book tighter. Sirius belatedly realized that insulting his book was not the best approach.

"So, Moony. I know you and Peter and James are keeping something from me." At this, Remus spluttered something out, but SIrius kept on talking. "And I just wanted to let you know that thats okay, and that you guys are still my friends." Here's to hoping this would work. He took out five, king-sized chocolate bars from his robe's pockets. "Anyway, I just wanted to give you these, cause' you know, you're my friend."

Cue his puppy dog eyes.

Remus looked extremely conflicted for a moment, before sighing. "Look," he whispered, "James really doesn't want me to tell you this because he's scared it might lose him the bet. But you dated Liza way back in fourth year. You asked her out to Hogsmeade, but then completely forgot about her and left her to wait outside Madame Puddifoot's for an hour and a half."

Sirius' eyes had widened during the telling. He couldn't remember the event, but that was hardly surprising. He had dated over half of the girls in the school, and he had better things to do with his mental space than remember girls he'd pissed off. But it would explain Liza's reactions. Two years was long enough to forgive, but not to forget. But Sirius was nothing if not smooth, and he was sure he could fix this now that he knew the problem.

"Thanks Remus, you're the best!" He said on his way out of the room.

Remus sat, once again alone on his bed, sighing. He hated to betray his friends, but chocolate was an effective form of bribery.

"Okay, James. Pay up." He said to the seemingly empty room.

The aforementioned boy slid out from underneath the invisibility cloak, and handed the werewolf a box, filled with chocolate frogs.

"Don't worry about it, Remus," he consoled, "Sirius won't actually blame you. Besides, just think of his reaction when he finds out the truth. This will be the best prank ever!"

"I know," Remus mourned, "but I feel bad about taking his chocolate."

"You could always give him the chocolate back when this is over..."

"..."

"Remus?"

"Or I could just take it as payment for all the chocolate he's taken from me over the years, right?"

d..o..0.O.0..o..b

The next morning, the Marauders were sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast. Remus was reading, James was throwing eggs at the Slytherins, and Peter was egging him on; so nothing new there. The surprise was Sirius, who was staring intently at a piece of parchment.

"Mate, are you actually studying for something?" James asked him.

"No. I'm just making sure I have it all memorized. I think I got it now."

With that, Sirius stood up and jumped up on the table. "Attention!" Every head in the hall spun to see what the Marauders were up to now, some interested, some fearful. "I, Sirius Orion Black, would like to formally apologize to Elizabeth Matthews. A few years ago, I was a jerk, and I would just like to say that I am seriously sorry. I have changed a lot since then, and I hope you would be willing to overlook my embarrassing past. So will you please give me a chance, and go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

His announcement met with a variety of reactions. Slytherin sneered, Hufflepuff awwed, his fellow Gryffindors cheered and laughed, and the Ravenclaws looked confused. But Sirius had eyes only for Liza, who had stood up and was making her way towards him. But as she came closer, he saw that she did not look moved. Instead she looked rather embarrassed. Oh well, he thought, shaming people into dating him was rather unorthodox, but if it worked, it worked.

"Sirius?" Liza calmly asked "Can you please come down off the table?"

Sirius happily obliged, smiling dopily.

"Look, Sirius, you are extremely attractive, and you seem like you are, slowly, maturing. I'm sure you are a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. But I've never had a boyfriend, and I have no intention of breaking that streak."

Now Sirius was just confused. He turned to his friends "You said she was just getting out of a relationship!"

James smirked with barely contained laughter. "Yup, she had just broken up with her girlfriend."

Liza sighed, rubbing her brow in exasperation. "So if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to my friends now," she said apologetically, then high-tailed back to her table.

As she walked away, the insufferable gits Sirius called friends burst into hysterical laughter.

Sirius stood dumb, as his shocked expression slowly morphed into that of rage.

"Sirius," James managed between bursts of laughter, "I believe you owe me five galleons."

And just like that, Sirius was on him, hitting him with a series of color changing curses.

Remus thought about intervening, but he was just relieved Sirius wasn't attacking him. Besides, both boys were laughing. It was a pretty brilliant prank.

A/N I am surrounded by Dementors, and reviews are Patronuses.