This story will leave you sobbing, giggling, and wishing you were in it. Trust me, I lived it. This is a rather fun adventure, much like my 'How to Annoy the Boogeyman and Get Away With It' one-shot series, but with more depth (you'll see)! I hope this turns out well... we're doomed...
Olivia and Ana sat in the last few minutes of study hall, bored and uninspired. They had finished their homework, but did not want to get up early and go sit in the gymnasium, where they would be separated by grade level. As Ana was a year younger than Olivia, they would be forced to endure the company of the morons in their own grades.
"I'm bored!" Olivia moaned, pulling her head up off the table.
"I wish we could go bug Pitch," Ana said.
"I know!" Olivia exclaimed, straightening up. "We should take the all of the people in the Rise of the Guardians movie and transport them to the world where everyone eats rainbows and drinks glitter to see who could survive the longest, like we had discussed on the phone the other day!"
"But how would we get the characters together?" Ana questioned.
Olivia "hmm"'ed and stroked her imaginary beard. She snapped her fingers.
"I've got it!" Olivia declared, pulling out a sticky note. She scribbled on the piece of paper. Then, she read aloud what she had written. "By the almighty power of the sticky notes, I, Olivia, command the characters from the Rise of the Guardians movie to appear, and that we all shall be transported to a world where everyone eats rainbows and drinks glitter!"
Nothing happened.
Olivia's eyes moved from side to side, searching for a change in their surroundings.
"Well, this stinks," Olivia muttered, dropping the frozen look she had adopted earlier.
The supervising teacher's voice came over the microphone, telling the kids in the cafeteria to pack up and go to class.
The two friends organized their stuff back into their bookbags. They gathered their belongings together and began the short trek to their pre-first period classes. Olivia and Ana maneuvered the swarms of middle schoolers, their goal being: get to the orchestra room, where Ana would stop for her first 'class.'
Well, would have.
"Vhere are ve?" A voice with a thick Russian accent boomed out. The two friends spotted a tall man towering above the oblivious kids and adults.
"Ugh, middle school!" Exclaimed an Australian voice. "Filled with teenagers like Frostbite!"
"Hey! What did I do wro-" That voice was cut off.
"The Guardians..." Olivia breathed as another voice piped up, this one with a British touch to it.
"What is this trickery? What are you playing at?"
"We've done nothing, Pitch, and we could ask you the same!" A female retorted to Pitch, the British guy.
Olivia, dragging Ana behind her, shoved through the crowds of middle schoolers to the bickering group ahead.
The pair stopped and stared.
Before them were Pitch Black, Nicholas St. North, Toothiana, Sanderson Mansnoozie, E. Aster Bunnymund, Jack Frost, Jamie Bennett, Cupcake, and their neighborhood friends.
"The sticky notes' powers are as true as Ana foretold!" Olivia exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.
"Vhat?" North blurted out, breaking the uncertain silence.
"Well, uh, Olivia wrote something on a sticky note, and... now you're here..." Ana trailed off, her mind processing the fact that these people were at her school.
"Oh, I see," said Pitch, dismissively. "You two and your silly little doodles." The Boogeyman rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"I TOLD you he was watching us," Olivia hissed to Ana.
"So, you two brought us here?" Bunny asked, coming foreward.
"Beast!" Olivia yelled in excitement, but Bunnymund saw it as an objection of terror.
"Hey, I'm just a bunny, mate," he attempted to placate Olivia.
Olivia glanced at Ana, and they laughed, sharing a moment. They both were thinking one thing: 'I thought you were a kangaroo.'
"Oh, sorry, I was just exclaiming in excitement, not because you're the-"
A teacher came up and stared at the girls. The bell had already rung.
"What are you doing? What are elementary school students doing here?" The teacher demanded.
However, the congregation disappeared, leaving the flummoxed educator babbling nonsense and staggering into a wall.
The first thing everyone saw was the pastel blue sky. Pitch was the first to come to. He sat pulled himself into sitting position and glanced around. The world he now occupied was his nightmare, if he had one. Everything was brightly colored and the environment seemed to radiate some of its own light. Sparkles, glitter, and color were splashed everywhere.
"Graaaaaah!" Olivia bellowed, bolting up.
Pitch turned to look at her. His face was a looming thunderstorm.
"Where are we?" The Nightmare King demanded.
"Uh, we're in... Sparkletopia," Olivia said, making up a name for the new place.
"Wonderful, just wonderful!" The Boogeyman snarled, picking himself up off the spring green grass and brushing off his robes. Black sand came off in showers. Pitch loomed over Olivia, and made as if to draw out a weapon. His demeanor flashed in surprise as his death-scythe-of-fear-inspiring-weirdness malfunctioned and did not appear.
Olivia laughed and questioned, "Having technical difficulties?"
"What is this?" He hissed, his face being first scared and then angry.
"Better watch out for the man-eating gummy bears," Olivia warned. "I hear they REALLY like creepy weirdos for lunch."
"Why can I not summon nightmares to my will?" The Nightmare King wailed. "What happened to my precious nightmares?"
"They DIED," Olivia said, her eyes widening comically and a somewhat constipated expression crossing her face.
Pitch looked at her, without a word, his face like a smacked bottom. In this world, he was even more powerless than in the other.
Ana took that opportunity to smack her hand on Pitch's foot, like an alarm clock. The girl growled, "Stupid alarm! Die!"
Olivia shook her friend, coaxing her awake. "Get up, Ana, we're in Sparkletopia!"
Jack sat up nearby, groaning, "What the heck is happening?"
Olivia informed him, "You're in Sparkletopia."
The Guardian rubbed his face, and then surveyed his surroundings. His face woke up, transforming from groggy to wide eyed and gaping. "Uh, North, we have a problem."
"Vwah?" North sputtered, jerking up.
Jack began frantically patting the ground, feeling around for something. "My staff... Where is it?!"
Ana joined in, and the pair scouted the entire area searching for Jack's staff. Meanwhile, Pitch began interrogating Olivia.
"So... Jack's staff goes missing... My powers... GONE. All after YOU brought us here. Therefore, YOU must have taken them!"
"So sue me, then!"
"Where are you hiding my weapons? How can I get them? Where am I? How can I get back? Tell me!"
"No stupid questions, no lies."
"Answer me!"
"Make. Me."
"As soon as we return and I reach full strength, you will have torturous nightmares every night until the end of your days, girl! I will make certain your life is miserable!"
Olivia smirked.
"What do you want from me? What do I have to do to get my powers back?"
"Dance."
Olivia was not able to keep a straight face for an instant after uttering that word. She burst into laughter as Pitch stared frowning at the girl in the giggle fit.
"You are jesting with me, I assume?"
"Yes, but no. That is my condition."
Pitch smiled, as if he expected this. Furthermore, this smile was not pleasant, but imposing.
"I can still kill you without any kind of weaponry. You have ten seconds..."
Olivia smirked.
"Nine... Eight..."
Olivia stood up.
"... Seven... Six... Five..."
Olivia continued smirking, arms crossed.
"... Four... Three... Two!..."
"Baby diaper."
"What?"
"You know what they say: 'The daddy changes the baby diaper!'"
Pitch studied Olivia's face for a moment, processing the message. The Boogeyman glanced around, searching for possible enemies or oncoming newcomers.
Bunnymund and Toothiana were awake. They, too, had joined in the Guardian-Pitch-wide quest for their missing weaponry and tools of trade. Ana and Bunnymund rotated between searching and watching the knocked out kids.
Pitch yelped as Cupcake kicked him from behind.
Olivia laughed and walked away. She would let Pitch attempt to decrypt the meaning of her pointless statement after he ranted to the the girl. It wouldn't hurt him if he didn't know that what she said was only a distraction.
The group gave up the search for their belongings: they had nothing.
"Well," said Pitch. "If I cannot regain my powers, then I will destroy you some other way!"
"If you do that, you will have no way of returning to our world," Olivia shot back.
"And how do we get back?" Jack questioned. The various newcomers to Sparkletopia had migrated into a huddle around Olivia. The girl motioned for Ana to join her, and as her friend did, Olivia began explaining.
"If you want to get back and regain your stuff, I need some sticky notes. Therefore, I suggest we go over that way. It looks like a candy kingdom." Olivia pointed towards the east, away from the soon-to-be setting sun.
The congregation agreed. Pitch frowned, unappealed to be working with his greatest enemies and these two idiotic girls. The kids looked like they were about to galavant off into the fields and start eating or monopolizing the many wonders of this alien location. The Guardians seemed quite undecided and uncertain. Whatever their wishful intentions, the group followed the two friends, who couldn't be happier.
As the Guardians, the kids, Pitch, Olivia, and Ana trekked towards the Candy Kingdom, they were able to learn about the landscape of their new environment. Forests were composed of hard candy trees, undergrowth made from taffy and gum, and animals made of the stuff of gummy bears. Rivers flowed with liquid sparkles and glitter. Mud and dirt were really chocolate. You could eat this place!
Olivia grinned at everything around her, and turned to Ana, who walked beside her. "I feel like Willy Wonka!"
"Really? I feel like Wreck-it-Ralph!"
"Well, then..." Olivia said, but then began to sing, "Come with me, and you'll see a world of pure imagination!"
"Can I eat that?" A blonde boy with glasses asked Olivia, pointing to the broken branch of a peppermint tree.
"I'm sure you CAN," Olivia replied.
"Uh, don't eat that," Jack suggested.
"Oo! Can I eat that?" The same boy continued, this time gesturing to a red colored taffy bush.
"If you do," lied Pitch, playing the role of the overly dramatic older sibling who scares their younger siblings. "You're stomach will... explode."
"Uh, I don't wanna eat that!" The kid said, his voice somewhat whiny.
"Pff, quit lying to kids, Pitch," Olivia snorted. Pitch's expression dial changed to the angry setting.
"Are we there yet?" Another kid, Claude, whined.
"I don't know. Consult another person," Olivia suggested.
Claude rotated to his brother beside him. "Are we there yet?"
"Seriously, man? If she doesn't know, neither do I!" Caleb groaned.
"All of you, shut up!" Pitch hissed, turning on the group.
"Hey, Pitch," Olivia interrupted. "Why don't you go join the My Little Pony fan club and get lost?"
Snickers spread through the crowd, while Pitch sneered, "Have your fun now, girl!"
Olivia rolled her eyes. Ana drifted closer to Olivia and whispered, "When we get the the Candy Kingdom, can we throw him in the dungeon?"
"Have at it!"
Fanfare. Great amounts of fanfare. That was what the flummoxed crowd of foreigners met when they entered the gates of the Candy Kingdom. They even were admitted through the gates without a single, "Who goes there?"
"Is it just me, or is this place getting stranger as we go?" Jack questioned Olivia in a side mutter.
"Well, considering you have to put up with a dress-wearing Boogeyman who has a British dialect, I would think nothing could weird you out," Olivia retorted.
"Yeah, you probably would think that," Jack agreed.
Olivia gave him a friendly smirk. "Exactly."
The townsfolk cheered and fangirled over the arrival of the newcomers. A coach barreled down the candy cobblestone path, nearly making pancakes of members of the crowd. The vehicle swerved to a halt and the door almost flew off its hinges. A fat little man popped out of the coach, which was drawn by gummy horses and was made of cake and cookies. The man wore a pink and purple outfit, consisting of a waistcoat and tights. Olivia reflected that he appeared to have come from colonial sugar land.
"The queen has arrived! All hail Queen Ana!" The midget squeeked. As the townsfolk neeled, he noticed the newcomers were not doing so, as well as Olivia. "The High General has returned the queen to us!"
The crowd cheered and the Guardians, Pitch, and the children were bemused. Ana gasped in shock, "I'm your queen!?"
Olivia ejaculated, "I'M THE HIGH GENERAL OH MY STARCLAN SOMEONE PINCH ME HARD EXCEPT PITCH YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUIN MY MOMENT OF AWESOMENESS HOLY STARCLAN!"
Jack, who was nearby to the ranting girl leaned over and pinched her arm. Olivia yelped, but then said, "Thanks."
"No problem," The Sprite laughed.
"Who, my good queen, are your other compainions?" The small man broached, glancing around at the strange congregation.
"These are... uh... guests of me..." Ana stuttered, confusion and stage fright getting the best of her.
"Welcome to Sugaria, guests from afar! Where in Sparletopia are you from?" The munchkin addressed them with a swooping bow.
"Uh, we're from the...uh... Butterfly District," Bunnymund lied.
"Are you sure?" The man said, somewhat confused. He gestured to Pitch. "This fellow over here seems to be from-" Then, the jolly little man clamped his mouth shut, as if what he was about to say was forbidden.
"Perhaps," replied the Boogeyman, as if he knew what the man was hinting, eternally delighting in the fear rolling off of him in waves.
The elfin man simply nodded and returned his attention to Ana. "Come, Your Highness. The remainder of your court longs for your presense and wisdom. We have lost much of our hope. High General Olivia, please escort your companions to the castle, unless Her Highness wishes otherwise."
"The castle's fine with me," Ana said. "But shouldn't Olivia and the others come with us?"
"Speed is my objective, M'lady, but your word is law. I will have to only take a few with us," he replied.
"Take the kids. They're tired from the long walk here. I can go with everybody else," Ana commanded.
"As-as you wish..." The man stuttered. He began to round up Jamie, Sophie, Cupcake, Claude, Caleb, Monty, and Pippa ultimately loading them into the coach. Toothiana offered to fly with them, just in case (the Guardians' reasoning being that they couldn't exactly trust the people of this strange land).
The reaminder of the group continued trekking to the palace.
To celebrate the arrival of Queen Ana and High General Olivia, as well as their company, the palace began preparing a feast. However, dull and cliquè the event might have been, it was... MOST CERTAINLY NOT!
Prior to the event, attendants, including the little fat man they met earlier, Mr. Gingerbread-Gumdrop, escorted the various newcomer to their rooms, prepared specifically to their prefrences. The wardrobes and closets had been lined with clothes that fit the occupants down to the last stitch, but the style was in Sugarian fashion. Color schemes focused on the bright colors found in the natural world, like pink, purple, blue, green, and yellow. However, in special cases, such as Olivia, more tomboy/boyish colors were present. In Olivia's instance, the main color was a bright yet dark red. Black, gold, and dark blue and green made several appearances in outfits and articles of clothing.
Dinner was held in the a comfortable hall, not too grand, but not informal, by royal standards. Ana sat at the head of the table with Olivia to her right and North to her left. The queen had exchanged her street clothes for one of the dresses in her closet and a crown. The dress had flowing loose sleeves and a spiral pattern along the split layers of the skirt. The High General smirked at the fact that she had also exchanged her outfit- going from jeans and a t-shirt to body fitting jeans, imposing, short, black boots, and a red tank top with thick straps.
The others came in in a clump, talking excitedly about the alien world. Sandy floated down beside North. Pitch stormed foreward and sat beside Sandy, and, before he realized what he had done, Jack trapped him in on his other side. The Nightmare King's eyes lowered to slits. Across from them, Jamie and Sophie claimed the two seats beside Olivia's. Bunnymund emerged from a hole in the ground and took the seat next to Sophie. Caleb and Claude hurried to get a seat next to the warrior, and Tooth fluttered in to find a seat beside them. Pippa and Monty took the last two seats- Monty at the other end of the table and Pippa on the unoccupied side of Jack. Cupcake took the chair beside Pippa.
Waiters and waitresses brought out mountainous dishes of rainbows and glitter, bottles of glitter, and liquid glitter champangne for adults and liquid glitter juice for minors. The entire table gaped at the course. Olivia and Ana turned to each other in awed slow motion, simultaneously, grins plastered all over their faces. Sophie giggled and clapped her hands together, chanting, "Pretty, pretty, rainbow!" Jamie, Caleb, Claude, Monty, and Pippa looked at it doubtfully. Cupcake beheld the sight as if it were holy and precious. The Guardians were just plain confused. Pitch was utterly revolted to the point beyond descriptively possible.
"I refuse to eat this!" Pitch declared.
"Pitch, you will eat the rainbow and like it!" Olivia yelled, fists pumping up and down.
Pitch lept to his feet, sending his chair tumbling to the floor. Jack, who had begun to shred his rainbow and sample it, swivelled his eyes to give Pitch a look. Sandy frowned awkwardly.
"As Queen of Sparkletopia, I declare Pitch must do the hokey pokey as an apology to Olivia... and Jack and Sandy... and everyone else!" Ana shouted.
"I don't have to do ANTHING, Your Highness," the Nightmare King spat. He then picked the chair up and threw himself down on it, arms crossed.
Under the table, Jack kicked Pitch in the shin. The Boogeyman yelled, "Ow! Jack, you insolent slug! Don't you dare do that again!"
Of course, Jack kicked him again, harder, knowing Pitch's powers were of no use to the man, due to them being stolen or withheld from him. Pitch's face contorted into a rageful storm, capable of killing puppies and wilting flowers.
"I HATE YOU ALL!" He roared.
"Just eat your rainbow, dude," Olivia said, rolling her eyes. "You're not yourself when you're hungry."
Ana laughed, knowing what Olivia refrenced, but Pitch shot his killer death glare down towards their end of the table.
Sophie and Jamie's eyes widened in alarm. Pitch grinned. "Ah, fear-"
"I DARE YOU TO SPEAK THE WORD 'HOMEWORK,' PITCH, I. DARE. YOU." Olivia whisper-yelled.
The Boogeyman wore an uncertain face.
"This is great," Jack butted in, leaning back. "I feel like one of those people on reality T.V. with everyone yelling at each other."
"How do you know what reality TV is, Jack?" Olivia asked.
"I saw it through someone's window," he explained.
"This is boring!" Caleb moaned, faceplanting into his food.
"Can we do something else?" Claude asked.
"I wanna ride a unicorn!" Cupcake cheered.
"How about some real food?" Bunnymund suggested. "Like carrots?"
"In this world, this is real food," Ana retorted.
"Oh, go suck an egg, Rabbit," Pitch sneered.
"You're quoting yourself!" Olivia exclaimed. Ana mused, "Can you do that?"
"Apparently," Jack responded.
"Hey, Pitch, I got a new quote for you," Olivia said. Something was coming. "Drink your glitter and shut up."
"Oh, thank you, dear," Pitch said, and then returned his focus to Bunnymund. "Drink your glitter and shut up."
Olivia's expression bent to a nasty glare. "Hey! I meant for you to drink your glitter and shut up, peasant!"
Pitch sneered at her. "Why don't you just sit in time out until you can act like an adult?"
"What if I call your mother? I'm sure she'll gladly come and give you a spanking!" Olivia hissed.
"Give him a spanking?" Claude laughed. The others kids snickered at the thought. Olivia smirked.
"That's so funny!" Pippa giggled.
"You DARE laugh at ME?" The Boogeyman monologed. "I am Pitch, the Nightmare King and the Boogeyman-!"
"You know," Olivia interrupted. "I fail to see why you pride yourself in being the 'Boogeyman.' Honestly, it sounds like you have trouble with keeping your nose clean or something. And, considering your British accent... Well, let's just say the British say 'bogy' instead of 'booger.'"
The children were not the only ones to crack up. Jack, Ana, Olivia, and Sandy laughed out loud, too (or silently). Even the other adults had a hard time remaining civil and polite.
Pitch glared at everyone laughing, his utter frustration boiling up into a deathly storm. Hatred transformed into dispair. The Nightmare King dropped his head into his hands. Thoughts raced through his head. Idiots! Idiots! Why was I destined to be hindered by idiots?! Why can I not defeat those idiotic fools?!
"Just, stop," he said. Not in a scream, or a roar, or a sneer, or a snarl. "I need some air."
Pitch left.
Dinner continued on, the remaining participants chatted and ate their fill. After the main course of rainbows and glitter, dessert was presented. This included ice cream "from the mountains of the wild Frozen Zone." A lively discussion about this location, and others of this world, sprang up.
The High General, Olivia, requested another bowl of the ice cream and excused herself. The girl took the dish and a spoon with her, searching for Pitch's room. She decided upon the closed door, that when she subtly tried the handle, found it was locked, and had a cheerful "Please, do not disturb!" hanger dangling from the handle. Olivia rapped on the dark blue door.
"Can't you read?!" Pitch shouted.
"I brought you dessert!... And, no, I cannot read; I was hoping you would teach me!" Olivia's eyes rolled skyward.
Silence. The door's lock clicked and the door flew open. "You! I thought you would come back to irritate me further!" The Boogeyman's eyes flashed.
"I just brought you ice cream. Seriously, lighten up a bit." Olivia rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand, transferred the dish to it, and turned away. The Nightmare King stared after her.
There will probably be no major updates considering the whole is typed up and I am loading it as we speak! Yay! My major writer's flaw solved!