The Same Thing We Do Every Night

A Hayate the Combat Butler Drabble

By

EvilFuzzy9

In the main auditorium of Hakuō academy, auditions were being held for the school play. On center stage were two figures dressed in white leotards and fake mouse-ears.

"Hey, Sharna-chan, what are we gonna do tomorrow night?" Fumi -who was wearing a pair of fake, white mouse-ears and an equally-white leotard- inquired artificially. She was holding a heavy script in her hands. She did not once look up from it while speaking.

Sharna, similarly dressed (though the spandex of her leotard seemed to be a little bit tighter than Fumi's, for some reason or other), replied in a rehearsed, melodramatic monotone:

"The same thing we do every night, Fumi-chan: Try to take over the world."

"Yaaaay~!" the orangette cheered.

A pause. The audience (of three people) was silent.

Cough. Cough.

Crii~icket. Crii~icket.

"BOOOOO! YOU SUCK!-!" shouted the director, grabbing a rotten tomato out of thin air and throwing it at the stage.

"... er, I mean... 'Narf!'" Fumi lamely corrected herself after several minutes of silence.

"You suck at remembering lines, Fumi-chan," Miss Alamgir dead-panned.

"Hush, Sharna-chan!" said Miss Hibino, pressing an index finger against her friend's lips. "Fumi-chan's brilliant mind is making a plan!" Fumi exclaimed. "A plan to take over the world!"

"... You're Pinky."

"Hush, Sharna-chan! I already told you! I'm thinkin' up plans! For conquerin' stuff!"

"..."

Sharna sighed.

So much for their stage adaptation of Pinky and the Brain. Maybe Animaniacs would work out better...

Watching her (probably) heterosexual life partner flip out as she tried to think of a plan (when there was already one in the script, no less), Sharna sighed again.

On second thought, perhaps a less cerebral role was in order.

A/N: Fumi is funny. And also... well... really dumb. But she's also funny. And cute, in a ditzy, adorkable sort of way. And funny, too – can't forget that.

'"A helluva maid!-!"'

Snerk. That line cracks me up every time... especially considering Isumi's preceding comment...

Also, I really probably should be working on ONNHc, but my muses are being stubborn [,(-.-,) OTL]. So here's a silly li'l drabble, instead.

And! As a bonus!

EvilFuzzy9's first impressions of chapter 342! (Because this is actually kind of fun and I have no life.)

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Before

Time - 10/28/2011, Friday, 5:12 P.M., Central Time.

Note: Okay... Looking at the first (non advert-y) page, I have to say... lolwut?

Hrm... looks like a manga interlude thingy... starring two obvious Hayate expys...

Well, I'm pretty sure it's not Nagi's work. For one thing, the quality is too good. For another thing, the title of the chapter is 'Thus Spoke Tsugurino Kayura[sic?]', so this is prolly the work of [New Character] who showed up in, like, one panel a dozen plus chapters ago. ... oh... oh god... oh god, please, not another insufferable genius grade-skipping brat... please tell me it's not another insufferable genius grade-skipping brat...!

...Ahh, they're introducing another insufferable genius grade-skipping brat, aren't they...? ... well, okay, I prolly shouldn't make assumptions right off the bat like that. Who knows? Maybe she'll be likable like Isumi rather than tolerable like Nagi. But one thing I can say with utmost certainty?

"New haremette get."

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After

Time - 10/28/2011, Friday, 5:17 P.M., Central Time

Note: hahahaha, what the fro. Man, that was really... really something. As always, my guess was way off mark (or WAS IT? *dramatic reverb*) And I'm surprised that the manga interlude was actually done by Nagi. I mean, it was a bit pretentious and high-minded, perhaps, but it was certainly an interesting (read: Oscar [or equivalent award] bait) premise. Though the way the ending with Igor was pulled off was WTF-worthy, if only for the visuals. And holy cow, Nagi gets taken in by a mussy-haired manga-fan hobo girl dressed as a one-eyed space alien. Who then gets arrested for camping out in a tent on city property.

... Man, now I'm wondering how Hayate's life would've gone if he'd taken up the life of a transient, drifting from city to city, spending his life on the run from the Yakuza... That'd probably a pretty interesting read, if it were handled well...

[P.S.: Sheesh, this was exactly 500 words before I tacked on this chapter review, but now it's almost double that. ... oh well, the reviewing is fun.]

TTFN and R&R!