Summary: When the time comes Yamamoto holds a huge ball for all the seated officers. The women's association all decides to pull on their gigai and go shopping, in Paris. Little do they know that all of the women went and low and behold fell in love with the same dress. Well, so much for individuality.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or the lyrics to "Paris Original" they are property of the respected owners. Nor do I own the designers I mentioned, if I did I wouldn't be spending my time writing fanfiction, I'd be on my yacht or driving my Ferrari!
PS: Nobody can pull off Smitty as well as my bff Gabby can. Not even my OC Risa who sings that part.
With the news that a formal party was being held and that it would be "western style" meaning that it would be like in Europe or America and not the Wild West the women's association knew that they needed dresses. And were else to go but Paris? So at different intervals meaning whenever they could:
-persuade the captain to let her go
-force the lieutenant to take over for the day
-escape from the captain
-or hitch a ride when someone else was going
The women all left the soul society to go wander the streets of Paris. (Except for one such member, she wanted to be different; she went to Rome.) So then here comes the day off the party and Soi Fon is talking to Yoruichi about her dress.
"It's the most gorgeous dress ever," the petite captain said her dark eyes sparkling. "It's black and elegant. It looks absolutely fantastic."
"Dress?" asked Yoruichi, "Not a Kimono?"
"No," said Soi Fon. "It's a Western Style Party; I heard Kuchiki-taichou bought a tux."
Meanwhile, Captain Arisa Uchimani was bragging about her dress to her friend Becca.
"It's black, simple but elegant." She said shuffling through the paperwork Lt. Shuhei Hisagi had given her. "But it wasn't cheap either."
"Where'd you get it?" Becca asked
"I went to Rome, something like this? Thank God I got Byakuya-sama to pay for it, the dress cost as much as a car!"
"Wow, that's so cool! I got Hanataro to pay for mine, I went different though, and you got Gucci?"
"Yep the sunglasses that goes with it."
"I went with Gucci accessories also, the dress; it's black as well."
"Classic, so who are you going with?"
"Hanataro, he's so cute! He was so nervous when he asked me, I was so happy to say yes. Who are you going with?"
"Shuhei."
So Rangiku was telling about her dress to Toshiro, who had had his ears talked off about a similar sounding dress from his date Momo.
Yachiru was telling Baldy and Narcissistic about her dress.
Nemu had a dress that she told Nanao about.
So that night Soi Fon was wearing her black dress smiling to herself as she reached the company one barrack.
"I slipped out this afternoon, and bought some love insurance: a most exclusive dress from gay Paris! It's sleek and chic and magnifique, with sex beyond endurance. It's me, it's me, it's absolutely me and why? One guy!"
True she was going "as friends" with Captain Jake Emmerson, people still said they were a cute couple with their dark hair and matching tempers.
"Wow," said Jake when he saw Soi Fon approaching him. "You look so amazing!" he smiled brushing dark hair out of his green eyes. "Let's go"
Becca on the other hand was smiling as well.
"This irresistible Paris original I'm wearing tonight, I'm wearing tonight 'specially for him. This irresistible Paris original's all paid for and mine; I must look divine 'specially for him."
She came up to Hanataro in a white tux with a black vest to counter-balance the sleek black dress Becca was sporting. Her blond hair was twisted into an elegant bun complete with matching black Japanese hair sticks. Hanataro blushed when she came over.
Momo was waiting for Toshiro in her barrack. She was acting like a typical teenager dancing around in her dress that she got in Paris singing:
"Suddenly he will see me and suddenly he'll go dreamy and blame it all on his own masculine whim, never knowing that this irresistible Paris original, so temptingly tight I'm wearing tonight 'specially for him, for him."
Rangiku on the arm of Izuru Kira had spotted Soi Fon and Becca who had spotted each other at the party. Wearing the same exact dress as the two other women Rangiku looked at them.
"This irresistible Paris original, I'm wearing tonight, She's wearing tonight and I could spit."
Soi Fon glared as she and Becca came up to Rangiku. Now the three of them stared at each other all thoroughly annoyed.
"I went to Paris and bought my dress!" Soi Fon yelled at the other two. "How the hell did you two get it as well?"
"I went to Paris," Rangiku said crossing her arms over the strapless dress. "And I got a designer dress as well."
"So did I!" yelled Becca. "This is an outrage."
"Well I'm a captain," said Soi Fon "You two aren't, go change!"
"Some irresponsible dress manufacturer just didn't play fair. I'm one of a pair, and I could---oh no!"
Momo had walked in on the arm of Toshiro smiling happily wearing a black strapless dress with silver roses at the bottom hem and the vines falling up the side. She looked happy until she caught sight of Becca, Rangiku and Soi Fon.
"This irresistible Paris original, all slinky with sin; already slunk in and I could die."
Soi Fon death glared at Momo.
"And I could kill her."
So now there were four women in the same exact dress. Now how could things get any worse? Well the answer was as clear as day when Arisa walked in on the arm of her lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi in a black strapless dress with silver roses at the bottom hem and the vines falling up the side. She caught sight of the others in black dresses and her face fell, shooting icy daggers at her fellows.
"This irresistible Paris original tres sexy, n'est pas? God damn it, voila! And I could spit."
This wasn't the worst of it though because Nanao and Nemu had come in as well wearing the same exact dress. As if five people in the same dress was a bad thing now seven. They all caught sight of each other looking extremely annoyed. Their dates all huddled in a corner looking afraid that the women would lash out. And they almost did when Isane followed by Kiyone came in. The Kotetsu sisters wore matching dresses with each other and the entire women's association. Rukia came in on Renji's arm closely followed by Byakuya. And of course she was wearing a black strapless dress with silver roses at the bottom hem and the vines falling up the side. Her jaw dropped as she joined the cluster of women in the same dress. Ten people! TEN PEOPLE! All in the same dress they looked at each other with icy stares. All of them looked as if they were on the verge of drawing out their zanpaku-to on each other.
"Thirty-nine bucks I hand out for something to make me stand out and suddenly I've gone into mimeograph. Some laugh!"
Arisa dragged herself into the ladies room seriously pissed off. Her nine twins closely followed her. Once inside she glared at everyone.
"What the hell?" she asked. Soi Fon gave her an icy stare.
"I don't know how the hell you managed to get your paws on that dress Uchimani," she said bitterly. "But I should tell you that you all better change being as that I'm a captain I have authority."
"Not over me you don't bee-otch," Arisa said coldly. "And I should say when did you find the time to jet out to Rome and get a dress?!"
"Rome?" asked Rangiku breaking up the feuding captains. "Well that makes Arisa's dress different from mine at least I went to Paris!"
"You went to Paris too?" Soi Fon said. "That's just great now you're gonna tell me you went to the same store."
"Your dresses came from Paris?" Momo asked them. Rangiku and Soi Fon nodded. "Oh perfect, so did mine!"
"Just perfect!" screamed Rukia. "I think I'm gonna be original and go to Paris to buy a damn dress and then I find out that not one not two but THREE other people went to the same city and bought the same dress!"
"Ok," said Nanao slipping on her glasses. "Who bought their dress in Paris?" Everyone except for Arisa raised her hand.
"Great, just perfect," snapped Kiyone. "We have ten people in one dress! How the hell are we gonna fix this?"
Arisa's eyes lit up.
"Anyone got a pair of scissors?"
"This irresistible Paris original, this mass-produced crime; I'm wearing tonight for the very last time!"
All the boys watched the doors closely in hopes that the girls weren't having an all out brawl in the ladies room. The lack of screams and curses made them slightly optimistic. Suddenly the door opened a crack and Momo's face was slightly visible.
"Ok," she said turning back to the women. "They're all watching. Who wants to go first?" Everyone scrambled to the back of the line. With much pushing and shoving an order was finally achieved.
"Um, what now?" asked Soi Fon who was first.
"Go!" hissed Arisa who was behind her. Soi Fon went out the door. Her dress was no longer the strapless black dress but had been transformed using the scissors Becca had into a strapless version of her shihakusho with the roses as the belt. Arisa went next revealing her legs in the slit she had cut up the side making her dress into a sexy bad-ass 007 James Bond Secret Agent undercover dress. Becca followed with her dress being hemmed to just above the knee using the roses as a belt. Rukia followed her with a miniskirt version of the dress. Nanao had added straps. Nemu had it a halter-top. Rangiku cut her dress into a deep V-neck to show off her predominate chest. Kiyone made long black gloves from the leftovers of everyone else's dress Isane cut off the roses all together and Momo took them to make a scarf.
The girls all stared at their dates now no longer poised to kill each other. They all looked happy, as they had taken the dress that made them all the same into their own personal style. With the hugest smiles on their faces they walked over to their dates and began to dance.