I only had a vague idea of what I was doing when I wrote this. It was mostly for fun, but I ended up liking it and writing way too much. Basically, the changes are that Padme survived to raise the twins and Vader's body is mostly intact. So no suit. I hope you enjoy :)
Leia knows she shouldn't be here.
Actually, her mother was set strictly against anything involving 'here.' Earlier, she'd even gone into her protective, commanding Mom mode, and Leia had grimaced to herself when the promise me you'll listen had come around. It was always 'promise me you'll stay here, Leia' or 'swear you'll listen to these direct orders next time, Leia.' Of course, Luke had never been on the receiving end on any of these speeches from their mother; he was the perfect child.
She supposes she could see how she might be frustrating Padme and any other of the number of Rebel troops she'd ever carelessly disobeyed, but Leia never breaks the rules unless it's completely necessary; she might be a little reckless on occasion, but she's never stupid. She knows what she's doing. Well, usually.
But she does now. It was vital to the Alliance that they know this snippet of information - it could change all their theories and tries and fails, and they weren't doing enough to get to it. No, Leia is quite certain that, if they really knew what she was sure she did - she felt it, like a second nature, a sixth sense that she can't put into words for the life of her - they wouldn't be so opposed to all of her ideas.
Maybe it's because she's so young. Maybe none of them will endanger their lives for the foolish daydream of an angsty, father-less fourteen-year-old who can't even seem to listen to an order. In any case, she wouldn't have let anyone endanger their own life for her own idea. She would just have to do it herself.
So there she is, angling her ship - she'd demanded to be taught to fly when she was about eight, and her brother, hesitant but enthusiastic, had learned right along with her - for a smooth landing on the prettiest planet she's ever seen. Naboo is certainly a sight to behold; there's a wide expanse of green and then above her is a shimmery blue sky. The distant, welcoming scent of flowers lingers in the air, and Leia can't hold back a little, self-satisfied smile. I made it.
The next step of her plan. She exhales to slow her racing heartbeat, swallowing against her dry throat. So she may be a little nervous, but that's completely natural. She's never done anything like this before, but she's determined to leave with what she came for.
Mom is going to skewer me alive, she thinks with a grim twist of her lips. "Alright, Artoo," she whispers, grabbing her helmet from the storage compartment and adjusting it to cover her face. The little droid beeps back. "I'm going to be right back, okay? Stay right here." Leia fixes him with a stern look, trying to imitate her mother's. "Don't follow me."
R2 beeps in protest, but she shushes him, tucking her long braid into the helmet. "Stay, little guy," she says again. "Things could go pretty badly if you don't."
All she has to do is get the coordinates for the next location of Vader's ship. Completely simple, really. She shouldn't be feeling so - so nervous. Get it together, Leia. You only might encounter a few of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Nothing to worry about.
She should know what she's doing.
She's been planning this for over a month; she's outlined her plan hundreds of times inside her head - she's explained it out to a rather exasperated, concerned Luke. She knows it by heart. Leia is far from unprepared, but suddenly, as she stares at the very place Darth Vader and Force knows what else lurks, she feels like she's naked in the cold.
It's thrilling, too. The very thought sends a nervous, jittery sort of excitement pulsing through her blood. She's never felt excitement like this before - the thrill of the chase already building inside her and her blood bubbling with anticipation.
She can feel each second as it passes and she can feel the gentle wind as she moves quickly through the expanse of gentle forestry. Bad bad bad, the feeling in her chest screams as she spots an Imperial shuttle, but Leia ignores it.
Her senses feel alive and heightened suddenly, almost like they do when she's with Luke - that unspoken bond that hovers between the two twins that she swears is almost tangible and more than a sibling thing, like Padme suggests when Leia innocently inquired a few years ago, when she thought her mother hung the moon. She never bothers asking, not anymore. She never gets a straight answer.
A feeling is buzzing in her veins, and it's familiar and exhilarating and she welcomes it like she always does, giving herself into the pull inside her mind.
And there - there, it's right there, just a few blocks down. She just knows like she and Luke always do, can feel it as if it is the will of the universe. She knows that's where she'll find the coordinates.
Leia breaks into a sprint, trying her best to be quiet, inconspicuous. Clever enough, she supposes, to take camp in a friendly village - though she doubts any of the citizens had stayed for Vader's arrival, which explains the looming quiet of this particular part of the planet - and plan for an attack with a massive flagship where no one would suspect. Of course, the Rebels had had little trouble in disconcerting Vader's location, she thinks, with a rush of renewed pride.
She fiddles with the blaster at her waist, squeezing the handle. It won't be free of guards, she knows, and maybe she doesn't stand a chance at all - maybe she'll be dead in a few short minutes, but really - I've made it this far. So Leia tightens her grip on the weapon, breathing out slowly before she walks cautiously until she's safely behind a tree, blaster in her hand and heart racing in her chest. Here goes nothing.
She moves quickly; her finger is squeezing the trigger and a split second later she dives into the tall grass behind the trees, watching the troopers zone in on first where the blast hit - somewhere a few meters to her right - and then glance around, expecting to see the culprit, but Leia's already leaning against the unarmed side of the house, hearing them talk quietly amongst to themselves and finally coming to a decision that half of them will go after the one who fired the shot and the other half would stay and watch - which left four for her to deal with. Leia - brows drawn together in determination and eyes concentrated on the four white figures disappearing into the distance on speeders. She dares a little smile, sneaking back around to the side with the other half when they're gone.
The first two will be easy to take out from here; she has a clear shot at both from here that she's quick to take, shooting quickly and trying not to pay attention to the bile rising in her throat as she watches the collapse to the ground, dead at her hand. For the Alliance, she tells herself. For Mom and for Luke and for Dad, too.
One of the stormtroopers shouts to the other, and Leia tightens her jaw. She's spent quite a lot of time on hand-to-hand combat, but she's no match against Imperial troops. She doesn't have much time to make a new plan, though, because the one closest to her is shooting, and Leia jumps out of the way, mind in a frenzy. Oh Force oh no Mom was right this was a bad idea dammit Leia you should've listened for once -
A shot hits her. It's her bicep, and she hisses in protest as she feels the warm, sticky blood, blindly shooting at the other troops and - it's so odd that that one made its target, because she could have sworn she was at least ten feet off, but one of the stormtroopers is down and only one is shooting but he misses her and she shoots again and she doesn't think that one will hit its intended, either, but it swerves almost too quickly for her to see, but she does, and when the last falls, Leia stands in shock for only a moment before regaining her senses and dashing into the house, slipping on her gloves and rifling through all of the useless junk and things that could not have been more clearly decoys if they had the word written on them in red ink, before she spies a cheap little box in the middle of all of the wreck, and the feeling inside of her is alive again and she knows, so she grapples for the thing and opens it quickly, beyond pleased when she finds a little holocomputer chip sitting inside.
She doesn't have time to check and see that it really is what she's looking for - she knows, though - so Leia grasps the little thing in her fist and does her best to put everything back where it was originally, cursing herself, because she finally has started to register how dangerous this mission really was and the pain in her arm is not going away and -
She breathes out, focusing on exiting the house so she can get the hell away from there and show all of them that she really could do it, and she's almost out of the little arrangement of houses in some stupid town in Naboo, helmet off to avoid suspicion of any kind and she's finally started to breathe normally, but now she's grinning, feeling the chip in her zipped pocket and feeling the adrenaline in her veins - when she hears it.
Undoubtedly, it is the sound of a ship landing nothing but a few feet away, and Leia jumps, startled. Oh, she thinks, dread pooling in her blood. Oh - oh no. She knows it's him - it's Vader, she's almost certain, and she's just stolen from him and - no. Leia stones her face, fists clenching, and does her best to disguise the bloodied mess on her forearm. Not like it works very well, of course, she thinks, wincing.
There's no time to run now, because the shuttle is opening, and the sight of the tower of a man standing at the entrance is enough to send shivers down Leia's spine. She refuses to be scared, though. Instead, she welcomes the anger that rushes through her at the sight of him. She relishes the dark feeling of fury, but keeps her face regretfully blank. She can control her emotions - usually.
She's standing off to the side, so she's certain he doesn't see her right away, but she feels almost unsettled as his head instantly turns and if she could see his eyes under the dark hood he wears she knows they would be glued to her.
Leia's jaw clenches as she feels his cool gaze over her. This - this monster standing in front of her is the reason for the suffering of all of these people in the galaxy. She's heard the words Sith Lord before but no one has ever bothered to explain it to her, and for the life of her she couldn't find anything, not even on the holonet.
From what she's heard, Vader is one of what they call a Sith. Dark. Consuming. Evil.
She hates him. She hates him as she always has, and how she knows if Luke dared ever say he hated anything, it would be Vader.
She doesn't want him to speak. She wants to leave this planet and give the coordinates to the Rebels and let her mother hold her tight for the first time in what must be years.
When Vader speaks, his voice is low and rough. "Who are you, young one?" He doesn't sound angry - actually, he doesn't sound like anything at all. His voice is emotionless and the tone is flat. "Why are you here?" There's a tinge of threat in his words, but Leia isn't easily broken down by anyone.
"Am I not allowed to be?" she says, proud that it comes out just as smooth and neutral.
Vader shows no visible reaction to her impolite response. "You are not from here," he says, and Leia twists her fingers into the fabric of her shirt. "So no, I don't suppose you are allowed to be."
He won't be easy to fool. Leia internally curses herself for her recklessness. She'd be lucky to make it out of here alive, from what she has heard of Darth Vader. "The Empire granted all of us free passage around the galaxy, as long as it is monitored and registered. I am allowed to be here." To some extent. Maybe.
"You are not of age," he answers, still unaffected. "You are not allowed free passage until you are at least eighteen years of age." For once, Leia is silent, and she senses, possibly, a bit of dark smugness from the Sith Lord. "I will ask you only once more. Who are you, and what are you doing here?"
Leia bites her lip, containing the frustration and anger bubbling beneath the surface. "Leia Organa," she says, taking the decoy name her mother and her good friend Bail Organa had adapted for her and Luke. Of course, Leia didn't really know exactly why she needs a disguise - what's wrong with Leia Skywalker? - but Padme had never given Luke or Leia their real last names to anyone outside of the Alliance, so Leia figured it must be important. "I'm here because -" - come on Leia come on think - "I was flying and I got lost. I - er -" She winces, trying to appear embarrassed. "I decided to land in the nearest planet and ask for directions."
Vader's silence is cutting. For a moment, she thinks that she really has messed up, that she was a kriffing idiot for thinking she could fool him. Then -
"Organa?" He sounds just as before - dismissive, uncaring. "Any relation to Bail Organa?"
"Yes," Leia says, calmer now. "He's my father." Vader's figure is bold and intruding, and she steels herself and - ignoring the flash of anger as he continues to study her without any actual interest. Almost as if he's trying to decipher something - "Can I go?"
For a moment, she swears she can see the gleam of dark blonde hair - a color she's always affiliated with Luke - in the bright sunlight, but his hood is making it much too dark for her to see. "Yes," Vader says, and maybe she's suffering from extreme blood-loss or she's going quite crazy, but she hears a little tinge of something in his voice. Longing, maybe. Leia shakes herself. Sith Lords don't have emotions, you stupid girl. "I suppose you may."
The flight back to the Rebel base is a difficult one.
Leia's arm pounds, making it hard to concentrate on the controls, and she almost clocks out a few times, but with the help of R2-D2 and the autopilot setting, she manages.
Leia dreads her mother's reaction when she arrives back, dreads the imminent lecture and the cotton swabs on her arm. "Well, Artoo," she says conversationally to the droid as they pull into the dirt of Dantooine, "if I'm not around tomorrow, please feel free to assume it is because Mom stabbed me with her elaborate, exquisitely jeweled headpiece."
R2 beeps sorrowfully, and Leia smiles. "It's good to know someone cares, little guy. C'mon - better to get this death sentence over with quick than to wait it out. Plus, I've got to get these coordinates to Mon Mothma." Excitement ignites in her belly, but she ignores it - for the time being.
"Leia Shmi Skywalker!" Sometimes, Leia wonders if her mother was some sort of court official in hell in a past life - she can certainly be terrifying enough. Maybe it's a politician thing, she thinks with a half-hearted smile. She turns to face her mother, and when she sees the dark circles under Padme's eyes and the tear streaks down her face, shame blossoms in her stomach. Oh, Force.
The first thing her mother does when she sees Leia is pull her into an embrace so tight that for a moment, Leia forgets how to breathe. Then, suddenly, she's being pushed away with an angry fervor and faced with brown eyes very alike to her own. "You," Padme Amidala says, voice trembling with fury and maybe the force of holding back tears, too. "You, Leia Skywalker, are in huge trouble."
Leia swallows. "Mom, I -"
"No," her mother snaps, cutting her off. "No. I don't want to hear an apology. What in the nine hells were you thinking, you damn girl? Do you think you're some kind of unbreakable force? That you can risk your own life time after time and things will go the way you want them every time? Because, I can tell you, Leia," Padme hisses, eyes flashing, "Your father thought the very same thing, but he was far from unbreakable. Trust me."
"Mom," Leia croaks, suddenly feeling very tired and about as far from unbreakable as she can remember ever being. "Mom." She says Padme's name again, and maybe it's the way she does it, or something in her eyes, but the fiery lividness in her mother's eyes fades into something milder. "I'm sorry," she says, and she can't recall ever feeling smaller, more insignificant. "I just thought - I thought that if I could get those coordinates - that maybe - maybe you would all see that I - that I was something - someone -"
She's cut off when her mother lifts her hand, brushing back a wayward lock of dark hair, using her thumb to wipe at a bit of dirt on Leia's face. "Oh, Leia," she murmurs, suddenly looking exasperated and sad and adoring all at once. "Oh, my little angel, my love. Oh, no. No, no, no. You're already so much to everyone here, don't you see? That's why I'm angry, and it's why the rest of them seem so irritated when you disobey an order time after time again and risk your own life." Padme cups her daughters' face with her palm.
"I'm not weak," Leia says, and she's not sure if she's trying to convince herself or the rest of them.
"No, you're definitely not." Padme smiles. "You're like your father." She strokes back another piece of hair. "Now come on, darling. We're going to get you cleaned up and bandaged, and then you're going to give us those Executor coordinates and we're going to figure out a plan."
"What - I - how did you know I got them?"
Her mother just smiles again, shaking her head. "You never do anything halfway, do you?"
It's two days later that Leia finally has the courage to ask.
She's propped herself up on the side table somewhere in the middle of the Rebel base, and Luke is standing beside her, grinning in exasperation at some joke Wedge Antilles just made, and Leia is staring down at her feet, recalling her mother's words.
Your father thought the very same thing, but he was far from unbreakable.
You're like your father.
It was rare that Padme ever brought up anyone from her own past, especially Luke and Leia's father, and that fact that she had done it twice that day only just struck Leia as a bit odd. Was it some stroke of remembrance that Leia had missed? Had her mother finally decided that it would be fair if her children knew about their father? Leia was restless; she couldn't not know anything about the man that her mother had loved and had loved Padme and his unborn children up until something happened.
What happened?
"Luke," she says suddenly, and her twin brother looks up, blinking in confusion at being interrupted, but Leia doesn't care. "Come with me."
Luke exchanges a puzzled look with Wedge, but after a moment, he shrugs. "Alright. I suppose after fourteen years I've learned not to question you."
Leia walks briskly, knowing through their unspoken bond that he knows just as well as she does what she intends to do. "Leia!" he calls from a few feet behind. "First of all - slow down. Second - are you sure you want to do this?" He raises a dubious eyebrow. "You know how Mom gets about - him."
"I'm sure," she answers, slowing her pace for only a second so he can catch up to her. "Trust me, Luke. This is important; she can't keep us in the dark about the man who should've helped raise us all our lives because it's a sensitive topic."
Luke still looks uncertain. "I don't know, Leia. We might want to approach this with more - ease."
"Ease?" Leia scoffs. "Ease. Right. Yeah, and while we're at it, why don't we give Mom another fourteen years to give cryptic, unhelpful answers? Don't be ridiculous, Luke. We've let her off so many times, I think we deserve some real answers."
"Leia, really - maybe you should think this through a little more -"
She whirls on him, raising a threatening finger. "One more word from you and I'll make sure you can't talk." It's quiet for a moment, the silence she can never decide if she likes between the two of them; soft, the kind of patient, waiting quiet that her brother always seems to carry with him. Leia sighs, defeated. "Yeah. Sorry. I just - don't you want to know about Dad?"
Luke rests a hand on her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Of course I do." He kisses the top of her head. "You're right too, you know. We've given Mom plenty of time. If you really need to, we can do it now. I'll stick by you the whole way."
"I do," she says quietly. "I really - I do. This is important, Luke."
"Let's find Mom, then."
They find her with Mon Mothma, working on the Executor coordinate ambush plans. Leia has half a mind to know her mother doesn't enjoy this part of her job nearly half as much as the rest - Padme's always been strictly against violence, no matter who they were dealing with.
"Mom," Leia greets. "Mon Mothma." She inclines her head respectively. "Er - we were wondering if we could talk to you for a moment, Mom. I just - I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's important. To us."
When they exit the room and to the empty one across the hall, Leia has a feeling their mother knows what they'll say before they really say it. She exchanges a look with Luke, noting the weariness in Padme's sparkly brown eyes. "Listen." Leia twists her hands together in her lap. "I know - I know you don't like you talk about it, and I know you might not think we're old enough to know. But we really - we really think it's time we know the truth."
"We were talking about this, Mom," Luke says. "We were talking about this and I think Leia's right; we've given you all these years to tell us but you've never even brought it up to us, not once. You know what we're talking about," he adds.
Padme sighs, sitting down on the worn-down sofa across from the twins. "I do," she says, quiet. "And I'm sorry I've never tried to tell you both. It - you see, I've got a feeling you're going to be disappointed. It's a lot worse than you think, this story." Something in Leia's gut twists; somehow, she knows the childish fantasies she used to enjoy conjuring up in her head of her father, the fearless warrior, courageous war hero, are about to be ruined.
"Your father was a good man," Padme says, looking so much older than only forty-one. "Anakin Skywalker - that was his name." She smiles, just barely, and Leia's stomach flutters nervously, anticipating. "You see, when I was your age - exactly your age, in fact - I was elected queen of Naboo. It was awful young to rule an entire planet, but at the time all I was focused on was the safety of my people, so I didn't care much for my own age. It was a dangerous time to be queen; we were teetering on the edge of the Clone Wars and you never knew who would jump out and try and kill you, so I went into hiding. At the suggestion of my advisers, I had one of my good friends and handmaidens, Sabe, disguise herself as the queen - as me - and pose as me in social situations and things that were not necessary that I attend in person. I met your father on Tatooine," she says, smiling like she's lost in some far away world, trapped in a far away memory. Leia's heart suddenly aches for her.
"I was accompanying two Jedi Knights - guardians of the galaxy by the way of the Force, but I'm sure you know that - Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who I know you've met multiple times, but we'll get to that later. Our ship had crashed on Tatooine, and we were looking for parts to fix it. We found the part we needed. It was kept with a Toydarian named Watto, who had a slave boy and his mother." Padme looked away, smile gone. "It was your father. He was only nine at the time, but he was unbelievably kind and selfless. He risked his life in a pod race to win us the part, and when he won the race, he was freed. You see, your father was a Force-sensitive - extremely so - and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wished to take him back to the Jedi Temple and train him to use his powers for good. So they did." Her lips curl up at the corners. "The Jedi took him in, and after Qui-Gon's death, your father became Obi-Wan's Jedi apprentice. I was only queen for a little over a year after that, and then I became a senator for Naboo and the Old Republic. I didn't see your father again for ten years." Padme looks up at them both.
"I was under the threat of assassination a decade later, and Obi-Wan and his Padawan were sent to protect me. I survived, of course, because Anakin and I were sent back to my home planet to keep me safe from the bounty hunter assigned to me. Foolishly -" she swallows, the smile on her face turning a little bitter. "Foolishly, we fell in love. He was a Jedi and Jedi were forbidden to attachment, and I was a senator with many responsibilities, but we loved each other. We married right after the start of the Clone Wars. Now, tune in sharp, my loves," she says. "This is where it starts to fall apart. Before the marriage and the first battle on Geonosis, we travelled against the Jedi Order's will to visit Anakin's mother, because he had been having awful nightmares of her, and Jedi's dreams are often the will of the Force. I couldn't refuse him. When we arrived on Tatooine, he found his mother. Shmi, Leia," Padme says. "You were named for her. He found her at a Tusken Raider camp - dying. She did die - in his arms, and he - Ani - he killed them all." Her eyes darken with an unfamiliar emotion, one Leia has never seen in her mother's eyes. "The women, the children - all of them. I forgave him, of course. He was angry and still young and I thought that his actions were understandable, considering the circumstances. I was wrong; Jedi aren't supposed to killed without reason - only for self-defense or the protection of others."
"For about three years, we burned strong. We were young and passionate and driven by the belief that nothing could tear us apart. Anakin went away for months at a time to fight for the Republic against the Separatists, and I continued my work in the Galactic Senate. Some days, I did nothing but miss him - wish I could have him back for one more night, then curse my childish dreams the next days; this never could have worked. About three or four years after our marriage, he came back from the war to some surprising news - I was pregnant." Padme smiles widely, and Leia swallows, blinking. "At the time, I didn't know it was twins, and I wouldn't until you were born. Your father was overjoyed, and it felt like we were back all those years ago when we first fell in love. We were happy - I hope you know that. Then he started having dreams." She shuts her eyes - sighs. "Like the ones of his mother, but of me. He dreamt I would die in childbirth. Clearly, that dream had been wrong, and I'll explain that in just a moment. Anakin was getting worse. He was more and more angry - more anxious - he hated. All of those things - they were not good, and I was too late when I recognized it. We were crumbling, Luke, Leia, the whole galaxy was crumbling, and none of us realized until it was far too late to save. You see, the Supreme Chancellor's name was Sheev Palpatine."
Leia sucks in a quick, hissing breath through her teeth, grabbing Luke's hand and squeezing tight. He squeezes back, and the warmth is comforting. "Wait," she says. "Is that - isn't that the Emperor?"
Her mother nods gravely. "Indeed, it was. We were in the hands of the Empire far before any such thing existed. We played right into their hands; everything was going according to Sidious's plan. Even Ani." Her eyes cloud with what might be tears for a moment, but then she wipes a finger under her eyes, exhaling loudly. "You see, Palpatine - Sidious - is a Sith. He uses the Force, but not the Light side of it. He's a - a monster. He influenced your father's dreams - even though we were married in secret, he had picked up on it. He knew that Anakin loved me, and he used that love - he twisted it. He mangled it into something terrible and harmful. He used the love your father felt to - to destroy him. Anakin loved fiercely, and I had always loved that about him. He loved Obi-Wan and his Padawan and even his squadron of clone troopers and you both. Jedi weren't supposed to . . . be that passionate. Emotional. The Jedi Order was always suspicious of your father, and rightfully so. I didn't want to believe it when Obi-Wan told me Anakin had slaughtered all the young children in the Jedi Temple, but the security footage was proof enough." A tear slips out, but Leia's mother is quick to catch it. Leia's heart is beating fast, disbelief pounding in her veins. "He had taken Darth Sidious as his new master, and helped him execute the order to get rid of all the Jedi. It succeeded. All the Jedi - all in the galaxy were suddenly gone except for two - Obi-Wan and Master Yoda."
Padme sighs. "I was still desperate. There was nothing in me that wanted to believe your father had done any of those things. It didn't make him seem like the kind man I married at all. It wasn't. I followed him to Mustafar - I tried - I did all I could to convince him to come back and save himself and me and you, but he was blinded by - by the Dark Side of the Force. He was convinced we could rule the Empire - together, and raise you both alongside it. I refused. I tried one last time - and it -" She chokes off, and it's now that Leia sees the tears trailing down her mother's face. It makes her blood boil - it makes her hate her father, seeing what he did to Padme. "I told him I loved him. And I did. It was terrible and twisted and broken but somehow I still loved him just as much as I did at first. He screamed - he called me a liar, and then - and then he choked me. It was like - like it was his hands but it wasn't, because it was the Force that was choking me off, and I couldn't breathe and I was terrified, but the worst pain of all was the look in his eyes and the tears on his face. I remember thinking something - something like, they finally broke you, Ani. You finally let them get to you and then - then I blacked out."
Leia is gripping her brother's hand far too harshly, but when she looks at Luke, he looks about as comprehending of it as she was a second ago.
"When I awoke, it was to the worst pain I'd ever felt." Now, Padme's smile returns. "You two - it was worth every second. I thought I would die," she continues. "I thought Anakin would be right; it certainly felt like it. But he wasn't." She eyes them curiously. "I was surprised when I awoke from unconsciousness two days later. So was everyone else, apparently. At first - before the Alliance was formed - I went back to Naboo to live with my older sister, Sola, and her family. We lived there for the first four years of your life. We left - we left because they found us." She sighs, looking less heartbroken and more exhausted, now. "The Emperor and his 'new apprentice' came to visit us for lunch one day. They were going to stay for lunch, at least, before I learned exactly who that new apprentice was. To the galaxy, he went by Darth Vader." Padme meets both of their eyes, fire burning in the coffee-colored depths. "I would only ever know him as Anakin Skywalker."
And there it was. The worst possible conclusion her mind could conjure up - and it was the truth. The dark, hateful monster she'd met on Naboo a few days ago was her father. "No," Leia breathes, releasing Luke's hand and bolting into a standing position. "No, that can't - it can't be true. Mom, that doesn't make any sense - I've met Vader - he's not - he can't be -"
"You've met him?" Padme snaps, eyes darting up to meet her daughter's. "When? Where? Did he hurt you? I will -"
"No," Leia says, dropping her gaze to the floor once again and falling back into the sofa. "He didn't do anything to me, actually. We spoke for a few minutes, and he let me go. It was -" She hesitates. "It was a few days ago, on Naboo. When I took the coordinates from their hidden base."
She feels her mother and brother's gazes on her, varying degrees of shock and disbelief etched into their expressions.
"Leia," Luke breathes. "You've met Darth Vader?"
"And I hated him," she snaps, sending her brother a look so cold even he shrinks back. "Don't you go getting any stupid all-righteous ideas, Luke Skywalker. I know you. There's a limit here." You can't find good in everyone, she tells him through their bond, watches his face harden into the mask of frustration only his sister could create.
Just because you don't want there to be good in everyone doesn't mean it's not there, she hears his voice echo in her mind.
Leia whirls on him. "I don't want there to be good in everyone? What does that mean? Luke, trust me, I'm quite aware that I'll never compare to the staggering tower of heroic courage and kindness that is you, but I like to think I'm at least half as good as you. Or, no - maybe that's jumping it a little. Say, forty percent?"
Her brother's face softens. "Leia -"
"I don't have to see the good in everything to be a good person, Luke. I mean, sure, I've got my problems. I get angry. But I'm not - that's not what you meant, is it?" she asks suddenly, spinning to face their mother, a horrible thought coming to her head. "When you - when you said I was like him. Our father."
Padme shakes her head, then, smiling sadly, wearily. "Of course not, Leia. You remind me of - of how he used to be. Passionate and loving and fiery. Protective. In my mind, Anakin Skywalker and Vader are about as separate as they come. Your father is gone, my loves, for better or for worse, and Vader is but a shadow in his place."
"But they are the same person," Leia says. "They are. Denying that won't fix anything, will it? Anakin Skywalker - he's Vader's past."
Padme smiles again, but it's brighter this time, as if her daughter's enthusiastic curiosity swept away her exhaustion. "At first, that's what I told myself. I spent years telling myself that there was good in him still. I still believe it. I was taught to always give second chances," she says, looking reminiscent - lost in her own mind. "And there was no way a person so good and brave and loving could just . . . be gone. Over the years, though, I've stopped thinking he'll ever come back - at least, he never will, not on his own. He's not like Sidious, you can rest assured of that. But . . . Darth Vader is not a good man."
Luke is looking out the window, blue eyes dark with concentration that stirs a seed of unease in Leia's stomach. That look on her brother never meant for well. It was - determination. Stubbornness. Willpower. "Luke," she warns, and his head snaps to hers.
He smiles at her slowly, and Leia's discontent grows. "Some people -" he says, and Leia shuts her eyes, knowing what will come next, Force - "Some people just need someone to remind them of the good on the inside."