DAY ONE

Elliot's stomach is killing him. He's been shifting in his chair for the past two or three minutes, trying to hold back the grimaces that push their way onto his face, but relief hasn't come. He shifts again, and again, and finally collapses back against his chair and resigns himself to the fact that this pain isn't going away. He wishes he did pick up the pain meds prescribed to him earlier in the day.

But it's past seven o'clock now. Munch and Fin have gone, Cragen is locked inside his office, and the squad room is slowly beginning to clear out for the night. It's been an uneventful day. He's grateful for both the potential victims and himself- his head has been so clouded he doubts he'd be any help solving anything.

Despite the end of their shift, his partner still sits across the conjoined pair of desks with files spread out in front of her. It's a façade. He knows she's doing just as little work as he is as he squirms in his seat, trying and failing to steal just a moment of peace. Reality is, she wants to go home to her empty apartment as much as he does. That's why they both find themselves there, pretending to work on the mountain of files piling on both of their desks.

Olivia leans back and stretches her arms above her head. He focuses on her, the way she holds her hands behind her, closes her eyes for a moment, and sighs, all without giving him even a glance. They've gone all day with barely a word between them. He's been trying to work up some courage to ask her to talk, but there's a mixture of apprehension and confusion swirling within him. Not to mention the consistently worsening pain in his gut and his doctor's burning words from earlier.

"I'm afraid it's not good news, Mr. Stabler."

He doesn't know what to do with them. He doesn't even know how she'd react if he told her about them. Even after the moment they shared on the stoop of his apartment building, the remnants of her unannounced departure and return still cling to the two of them and everything they do. Things haven't been the same since she returned from her undercover gig. They only worsened through the course of the Sennet case.

Olivia's eyes meet his and he realizes he's been staring. Her eyebrows raise like she's surprised he's even noticing she's there. "What's up?"

His gaze drops. He was just given the perfect opportunity, but he finds his throat in knots. Maybe she doesn't have to know. Maybe he can put it off for at least a little while. Maybe if he doesn't say it, it will all go away.

Another wave of pain sears his stomach like a warning.

When he looks back up, there's skepticism in her eyes. He almost wants to squirm in his seat, but he's somehow managed to finally find a comfortable position and he doesn't want to ruin it. Finally his throat loosens enough to ask, "Will you come to dinner with me?"

"What?"

"What've I got, Doc, a kidney stone?"

"It's far more serious than that."

He fingers the pen in his hands, burning under the scrutiny of her gaze. He knows she's wondering why he would want to spend more time with her than necessary at the moment. As much as he'd like to say he's blameless in this, sometimes he remembers the hurt he felt as he held his phone to his ear, listening to the machine tell him how she'd dropped out of his life without so much as a note or a voicemail. He knows he's still holding back on her. He's trying, but he never wanted to extend his olive branch to her under circumstances like these.

"I need to talk to you, Olivia," he says. "Please come to dinner with me."

Olivia sets her pen down and closes her file. With her eyes still on him, she says, "Okay."

He feels both relief and anxiety at the same time.

Elliot walks next to her to the diner two blocks down. The waitress seats them in the corner next to a large window and brings them both cold glasses of water before they order their meals. Elliot orders a patty melt, one of his favorites, but barely picks at it for the twenty minutes that he sits across from her. He thought he might have been able to get some food down earlier, but now the thought of eating makes him sick. He wonders how much of it is what he has to tell her and how much of it is his symptoms.

"Alright, Elliot, what's going on?" Her words make his eyes snap upwards. "You tell me you need to talk, but you haven't said two words to me since we left the squad."

"Uh-yeah. I need to tell you that…" He trails off, reaches for his glass of water to soothe his dry throat, but can't think of the proper words to say to her. He's not ready for this. He'd almost rather leave, just like she did. Leave her so she could be pissed at him rather than mourn him.

"Spit it out, Elliot."

"I'm, uh…"

Say it. Just say it. But he can't. He sits in suspended animation, gripping his glass of water, trying to find a way to say what the doctor told him earlier that morning.

"The biopsy came back. I'm sorry, Elliot…"

"I'm dying."

The words spill from his lips before his mind can process them. Almost immediately, he clenches his eyes shut. Fuck. That's not how he wanted to say that.

Olivia sets her fork down on the table. There's a blank look on her face and for a second he's afraid of what she's going to say, but finally she speaks. "Our caseload's crazy, but you don't have to be so dramatic."

Even as she writes him off, he can hear the tremble in her voice.

"That's not what I mean, Olivia." But he knows she knows that already. "I'm sick."

"Sick with what?"

"Cancer," he rasps. It's the first time he's said it out loud and just the word makes his breath catch. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Fuck. He has cancer.

Olivia drops her eyes to her plate. He can almost see his words tumbling through her head, but she says nothing. Then, without another word, she gets up from the table and flees.

He really shouldn't be surprised. That's been the definition of their relationship lately- when things get hard, she runs. She always runs.

He reaches numbly for his wallet, throws some money down to pay the bill, and walks out the door. He shouldn't have expected anything different, but his chest still stings.

A/N: Hello everyone! Thanks for reading the first chapter of my newest. It's been a long time since I started something new, but I figured I'd try it out and it's been fun starting something with a fresh slate.

Please drop a comment below and let me know what you thought about it!

-Stabson