Authors note: Because I'm absolutely shite at character development, this short story thing is going to be set in the NaruHina Chronicles (by mattwilson83) universe. It's a seriously good series (and the rest of his work is pretty awesome as well) that I recommend you all check out. This will contain some minor passive spoilers of the NHC storyline, so if you're in the middle of reading that, I'd recommend you at least get up to chapter 57ish before reading this if you don't want spoilers. Another note, despite this being in the NHC universe, I'm going to try to keep the relationship stuff to a minimum, (excluding this first scene) simply because I'm not very good at it right now. You may also notice that my writing style changes abruptly in terms of how I pace conversations and how I write character's thought speech. This is intentional. If you want to leave a review, please make a note of which style you like better, how I can improve my writing, etc etc. Also please tell me if I've misspelled any words, or included unneeded honorifics or left out important ones.
Before I get to the copyright stuff, I just want to set a premise for this story. I wanted to write something about Naruto getting the Rinnegan, but not in the way I've seen everyone else do it. In those stories Naruto gains the Rinnegan through a bloodline, or by getting saved by the Rikudo sennin, etc etc. I also wanted to portray the Rinnegan in a more sinister fashion. In lots of stories I've read the Rinnegan is a tool to be wielded as nothing more than that. I wanted to make the Rinnegan something Naruto's opponents (and to an extent his friends) would fear because of it's characteristics, rather than treat it as just another variable in the fight (or lack thereof).
Copyright stuff: I do not own the Naruhina Chronicles, I do not own Naruto, or any other manga/anime/doujin(shi) I appear to have borrowed from in this story. I only take credit for the content of this story, not the origin material. (That works right?)
In The Eye of a God
It had been four weeks since Uzumaki Naruto had been declared KIA. Four weeks since the beginning of her downward spiral into oblivion. Hinata was curled up in her bed. His bed. Their bed. She lay awake staring out the window into the moonless night, her mind devoid of thought. Since Naruto's death, Hinata had since mastered the art of emptying her mind of thought. Having thoughts meant being aware, and being aware meant that the hole in her heart grew bigger. The clock downstairs chimed twelve o' clock. The stars outside were the only source of light, dimly illuminating the village. Perfect conditions for an unexpected homecoming.
Having slipped through the gate when the ANBU guard shift changed, Naruto slowly made his way to their home. Slowly because he was heavily injured, a result of this, his most recent mission. Naruto briefly wondered if he was doing the right thing, returning home instead of going directly to the Hokage for debrief, then remembered all the reasons he had decided not to. Silently, he made his way through a connection of backyards and alleys, avoiding any and all people he saw. He finally stood in the backyard of his home. Without a moments hesitation, he grabbed the door handle and pushed. The door was silent, as though the act of use had greased it's hinges. Crossing the living room, over a sleeping Kosuke, Naruto wondered how Hinata was doing. Undoubtedly he had been declared KIA, or at least MIA. It pained him to realize that, until he was given permission, he couldn't tell his fiance anything, lest he risk lifetime probation. He limped upstairs, yet despite his heavy injuries, Naruto took care to make not a sound. He peered into their shared bedroom.
There she was. Naruto could see that Hinata was awake. Her eyes seemed dead and apathetic. Naruto stood there for a time, not moving, simply watching. His eye traveled the length of the room. It was messy, and uncared for. Uneaten food was everywhere, and Naruto recognized that a great deal of it was Sakura's cooking. He smiled. At least Hinata hadn't been alone in her suffering. He decided to announce himself. He knocked on the doorframe, still smiling slightly. Hinata didn't respond for a moment, then her eyes slowly moved in his direction. Naruto's smile became wider. "I'm home."
The man that looked like her fiance was severely injured, that much Hinata discerned instantly. She slowly uncurled and sat up on the bed, her eyes never leaving his one.
His one?
She continued to look him up and down, each pass making his appearance more gruesome. His arms were bandaged with dirty cloth, and his mask was gone. Presumably lost or destroyed. Part of his ANBU armor was gone, revealing a heavily bandaged torso. His face was the most disconcerting. He had a bandage that wrapped all the way around his head several times, covering up most of his hair, along with one of his sockets. Blood encrusted his skin where dirt was in short supply. Hope burgeoned within Hinata's chest, restored by the cocky smile that could only have belonged to the man she fell in love with as a girl. She rose from her bed and slowly, as though she were learning how to walk, made her way over to Naruto. His eye never left hers. "Not exactly the picture of health, am I." His breath was short and ragged, and the area around his mouth was speckled with dried blood. Tears welled in her eyes. "How-" was all she could force herself to say before she broke down and hugged Naruto close to her. Unseen to her, Naruto's visible eye bulged. "N-not so hard Hinata, you're crushing whats left of my ribs." Sobbing, Hinata loosened her grip, though not by any great deal.
Naruto wrapped his arms around Hinata and did his best to not cry himself. Crying ruptured the tear ducts in his blue eye, giving him the appearance of crying blood. 'That's not an image she needs' thought Naruto. "Naruto..." Hinata cried into his chest "...What happened to you?" Naruto didn't respond. They stood there for several minutes, comforting each other and silently rejoicing in the fact that they were alive.
Naruto was pained that he had tortured her so. Quietly he asked "How long have I been KIA?" Lifting her head to look at his eye, Hinata whispered "Four weeks." "I see." "That's not funny." "Hm?" Naruto was confused. "Mocking your loss of sight isn't funny." "Oh." Naruto was conflicted. Here he was, unable to tell his fiancee that he had not lost his sight. He had, in fact, done nothing but gain during his mission. He decided to help her a bit. "Hinata...I'm not blind." Now it was Hinata's turn to look confused. "Then why-" She motioned to his bandage covering the eye that had nearly cost him his life. "...I...can't tell you." "Why?" Silence. "..Because I don't need to." This did nothing to help Hinata's confusion. "But-" "Try this, Hinata. Use YOUR eyes, and you may understand why." "My- oh!" Channeling chakra into her eyes, Hinata activated her Byakugan. What she saw shocked her beyond belief.
Naruto's chakra seemed normal throughout his body, excluding his right eye. There his chakra was... Different? No. Different does not do it justice. Different, she thought, was the word you used to describe someone using a Kekkei Genkai. Whereas chakra normally flowed in a riverlike fashion throughout the body, the chakra around Naruto's right eye swirled, billowed, expanded and contracted in unexpected, seemingly random ways. Strange patterns formed for less than a second before disappearing just as quickly. Hinata, despite her shock and budding fear, became mesmerized by the mystical quality of the chakra in Naruto's eye. Its almost like... he's a god... "Hinata," Naruto's voice snapped her out of her trance. "be careful. Try not to get lost." He wasn't joking. Hinata stared at Naruto, her byakugan deactivated. Questions swirled around in her head, but before she could voice them, Naruto clutched at his ribs as his knees buckled.
end of part 1
Author's note:
Still working on writing. I know this first part is really slow and boring, and unfortunately the next part kind of is as well. I will get to the action bits probably in part 3, but I'd like it if you could leave me any tips on writing combat scenes. I have a pretty good idea of how to write one sided beatdowns, but it's still good to know how to write level battles. Thanks for reading! part 2 will go up sometime in the next few days.