Hello! I think I'm on a roll here… *sigh* Writing angsty Merlin one-shots is fun.
Enjoy!
I don't own Merlin... sadly.
Merlin's sure. Absolutely sure.
There's no doubt, no argument from inside him now. No little voice talking, whispering, saying No Merlin, that's not true.
For once, all of him is in complete sync.
Merlin is poison.
And if some tiny part comes forward for even just a second, the other majority shoots it down in a second.
It's simple. He just uses the evidence to explain.
His mother. Almost died so many times because of him and his reckless, venomous behavior.
Will. Dead.
His father. Dead.
Gaius. Kidnapped, tortured for Merlin, his uncle, his confidant.
Lancelot. Dead.
Gwaine. Dead.
Freya. Dead.
Arthur.
DEAD.
It's simple logic.
It's been two weeks. The poison is tangible now. He can feel it in every part of his body, in every breath he takes, every thought he thinks, his brain is nothing, his heart is stone, and he can't stop feeling it.
It's killing him. He's killing him.
Merlin can't seem to bring himself to care.
It's odd. Sometimes he thinks the poison is inside him, sometimes he thinks he's inside the poison. Wait. That doesn't make sense, does it?
He can't think anymore.
He thinks it's gotten better now. All these years, living in isolation. He thinks it doesn't hurt as bad now.
Then Camelot falls. And Merlin cries for the first time since Arthur.
Owen looks good. From this far, he looks exactly like his father. He's lying in a beautiful boat, almost the same as Arthur's. But not the same.
He sees a girl crying as the flames start burning him and he sails into the lake on a boat just like his father's, but it's not. It's just not.
He thinks maybe the girl was Owen's "Merlin."
Then he scoffs.
She couldn't be his Merlin, she looked too innocent, too loving. She could never be poison.
Sometimes Merlin thinks he is the poison, and sometimes he thinks the poison is him.
THE END.
Yeah. That was sad. I'm a sadistic person who enjoys torturing her readers. :)