A.N. This is a new story, hope you like… Review me and I will try to include any ideas in to the plot… let me know!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did I wouldn't be here, and HP would contain more slash lol!
Warnings: This is a HP/SS paring, that's male on male, will be slash later (if you like it and I continue writing it) So don't review me and tell me its sick n wrong or whatever… I know I'm sick now… so I don't need telling later! Lol
So Much For Island Living HP/SS
Chapter 1
Some guy once said 'no man is an island' well some guy was stupid, I bet it was the same idiot who said 'it's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all'. If it wasn't him then it was his friend, or his soul mate, the other half of his brain… Merlin knows both those phrases come from guys who clearly only had half a brain. I bet your wondering why I know these Muggle phrases. Well if I told you that you'd only laugh.
He used to come out with them all the time, I learned so much while I was with him. I used to be all about island living… almost as far back as I could remember it was just me, and I was happy… ok fine, I wasn't what normal people would call happy, in fact most people pitied me, thought I was a loner but I had come to terms with my lot. I had become used to being alone and had developed coping mechanisms so I didn't feel lonely. I had set tasks to do every day and I did them, I had hours of time to fill and I did so, I did research I created new potions and taught brats, oh yes I'm unfortunate enough to teach people.
Don't get me wrong, I used to love teaching, but then students used to be worth teaching, I swear the more years that go by the more idiots I'm faced with, occasionally you get a gifted student, and that makes it seem worth teaching the hundred other idiots in that one students year.
Where was I though, it's not like you care about my job that much. Oh right, I was telling you about my life before him. Well as I was saying, if I wasn't happy I was comfortable. Then he came in to my life, oh… my whole world turned upside down. He managed to get under my skin more than most would. I first knew him as a student and he annoyed me to no end. I think the reason he got to me more than anyone else in his year was that I knew he was capable, I'd gone to school with his mother, and most unfortunately for me his father, and they were both talented in their own ways, and I knew he could do better… he seemed to have a knack for getting in to trouble disobeying the rules and getting himself hurt. He lived on the edge of danger in such a way it made my heart stop. It also made my blood boil! He seemed to have no regard for his own life, never mind those around him, and he was important! His mother had given her life for him, if I cared about his father (or if he weren't such a bloody idiot when I knew him) I would mention his father did too. But he just didn't seem to care.
Well that's what I originally thought, then I got a little too close one day and saw him in action… and well he did seem to care about others after all… in fact, he cared about everyone else but himself. blood boiling again did he really not care about his own life after it had cost so much? How could he not? Well I raged at him for a while about that in the end… and I said something I regretted for quite a while afterwards. I told him his mother was my best friend. Oh you can imagine the devastation that followed I'm sure… I had only ever pictured him not believing me and him generally being abusive towards me, which only made things worse when that's not actually what happened.
Flashback
"How can you throw yourself in to danger over and over again Potter?"
"I DON'T EXACTLY HAVE A CHOICE!!! I WAS TRYING TO SAVE MY BEST FRIEND IF YOU HADNT NOTICED!" He screamed
"You have all the choices in the world; you act like you've got to be the hero in every situation, and I'm here to tell you something – YOU DON'T! Do you even realise what you have done tonight?!" I asked him
"I DIDN'T MEAN… I… Oh fuck, I… I … didn't know what else… shit" He cursed
"Eloquent as usual I see. You didn't know what else to do? So you went charging in to an unknown situation, almost lost your own life and the lives of those who blindly followed you in to such idiocy!" I bellowed at him
"I was trying to save my friend, it's my fault he was taken, we had to get him back and we did, I'd say it was a success" He sneered
"It was only a success because the order came and saved your backsides! I've lost my position as spy, which means we only have one other spy to count on, and everyone of your 'friends' is in the hospital wing! Success? I think not Potter, you are so arrogant!"
"I am not! I was trying to save someone's life, someone I care about, someone who I put in danger!"
"What about your life you fool!" I screamed at him
"I'm fine" He said looking down at his body as if checking himself for injury, the only ones being minimal other than his arm which was broken and bleeding.
"Yes you look fine…" I gestured to his arm "Your disregard for your own life is shocking, you might not think much of your parent's deaths, in protection of it…"
"I don't disregard what they did at all, I was trying to protect someone I love, isn't that what they did" He seethed
"They were stupid, and to throw yourself in to the same path as they did was stupid!" I couldn't look at his eyes anymore, I turned away from him
"How can you call them stupid? I know you didn't get along with them but you're like them yourself…"
"I am nothing like your father Potter" I sneered at him
"You could have died saving me tonight, so forgive me Professor, but you are" He pointed out
"I did that because I could; I was trying to protect you so that her sacrifice would not have been pointless, and so you've found out my big secret have you?" I sneered backing him in to the corner, if I weren't so angry I would have thought more on what I was saying but I didn't care right then.
"You may not care, but some people value your life Potter, my best friend gave her life for yours, so whatever you may think it's worth something, even to me" I bit out every word and by the end of that speech we were nose to nose.
Then I realised what I had said and moved back quickly, turning my back to him so I wouldn't have to see the confusion shinning in his eyes.
"Your best friend?" He asked too soon, 'DAMN IT!'
"Potter, get yourself to the hospital wing, we will continue training tomorrow, I have work to do" I dismissed him, hoping against hope his injuries and his hatred of me would drive him away more than the curiosity he was known for would beg him to stay.
No one moved 'bugger!'
"I told you to go" I said turning to him, his look was defiant
"I asked you a question" He answered
"There is no point discussing this matter further Potter, you need medical attention" I said pointing to his arm
"Your more than equipped to heal me here sir" He answered
"I do not care to Potter"
"Not even for this best friend you speak of?" He quipped, and he was going in the right direction, that stung
"Potter, you are crossing a dangerous line, I suggest you go now" I warned
"Well, I'm not leaving until I know who your talking about, I deserve to know who else is dead because of me" He said
"You know, and I do not wish to share more than you already know" I answered watching the puzzled expression on his face.
"Here is a pain relieving potion, and a blood replenishing potion, go to the hospital wing and get healed there, a mediwitch is going to do a better job than me" I said opening the door and leaving him standing alone.
I walked up the corridor to my private chambers and went through the portrait sighing when it closed behind me.
I drank a few potions myself to combat my injuries and sank on to the sofa with a drink, closing my eyes I prayed Potter would just let things go, knowing I may as well have been praying for Voldemort to change his mind and become a monk instead of going for world domination.
I had only had a sip of my drink when I heard knocking on the portrait… If it were a Slytherin they would have known to contact a prefect, both of whom knew the password, and would not have disturbed me at this time. A teacher would have known the password and they never came to my chambers anyway, and anyone else… well no one else came here… other than Harry, for our training sessions, and he didn't know the new password… 'Well let him knock!' I thought
I continued to try and rest when the knocking got louder, so loud in fact the person in the frame began to complain that he was now hurting them. Oh bloody hell! I got up and opened the portrait.
"What?" I demanded
"My mother" Was all he said
My shoulders sank back and I leaned on the side of the door frame desperately wishing I could take it all back. He used my movement to walk in to my chambers and this alerted me that I needed to do something.
"Potter, I did not invite you in here, so feel free to leave now" I said as calmly as I could
"No" He said sitting down
"What do you want from me? Do you want to shout at me and scream at me for telling lies or whatever…? I would prefer if you left now, I can think of everything you want to say right now and probably worse so if that's all…" I said
"Tell me about her" He said in a calm voice, it was only then I noticed his arm still bleeding and hanging at an odd angle.
"Didn't you drink your potions?" I asked
He shook his head a little sheepishly
"Here" I sighed getting him some down off my shelf, picking up my wand I healed his arm up and then moved it, at which point he'd already taken the pain relieving potion so it barley hurt and then re set it in to place
"Good as new, thank you" He said smiling
"Yes, well… you need to rest Potter" I said standing up again
"I just want to know about her, from someone who can tell me more about her than that I've got her eyes" He almost pleaded
"What?" I asked rather bewildered, in my wildest dreams I had never envisioned him reacting this way to finding out his most hated teacher was actually his mothers best friend
"I don't know anything about her, people always say she'd be so proud of me, and that I have her eyes and that's about all. I want to know something real." He said sadly
"Like what?" I asked curious…
"I'm just curious about her… and I know 'curiosity killed the cat!" He smiled
"What?" I asked looking confused
"Muggle thing… anyway… please?" He asked
"Her favourite season was winter, she hated to fly, she loved herbology and potions, she did really well with magical creatures, unicorns loved her, she always smelled like… home" I said
"Like home?" Harry asked
"Sorry, she smelled like heaven, a mixture of wonderful smells, I cant describe, but whenever I smelled it I felt safer, happier, like going home for most people." I replied but I did not blush for one second because I did not just sound like an idiot!
"What was she like?"
"She was the kindest, sweetest most annoying person in the world" I smiled, I hadn't thought about her in too long, never mind talked about her.
"How do you mean annoying?"
"She always knew what to do, and she always knew what to say to make you feel better, she was always so good"
Harry smiled at that.
"Thank you sir, I'm sorry I invaded your space like this, someday, if you would I'd like to hear more?" Harry asked
"Maybe Harry"
End Flashback
There was my first mistake… I'd already started calling him Harry! It's almost ridiculous… So much for Island Living! That's what I say now, but back then I didn't notice it so much, it was odd… it made me a little uncomfortable, but I was ready to 'sweep it under the proverbial rug' so to speak (Damn Muggle sayings!) and move on with my Island life…. Little did I know!
A.N. Well I started a new fic… oops! I still don't have internet, so don't ask why lol but I got this idea and ran… well wrote with it! Lol, if you like I'll continue… review n let me know.
Quotes from Chapter 1:
No man is an island – Bon Jovi
It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all – unknown
Curiosity killed the cat – unknown
So much for Island Living – From the film 'About a boy'
Sweep it under the proverbial rug – unknown