Oh I don't know what I was on. Even I don't understand this.
Turning On Me
We always had our backs to each other. Looking straight ahead, leaning back with a force that made it seem as if we wished to push the other over-and sometimes we did- and our arms folded in front or our hands flat on our hips- to avoid any unnecessary touching, you see. Our backs, spine on spine- was all we were willing to meet.
It was an odd shaped human support system.
But hey, it worked.
It was both a defensive and offensive stance. We could pull away at any moment, separating like joined hands and able to come together again with the same-minded coordination. We didn't need to rehearse. In fact we never talked about it.
Sometimes we slept that way. Because it was cold of course.
We never shared so much a blanket. And we were adamant to keep it that way.
But still, we shared warmth without really meaning to share warmth. We anchored and balanced our other. It was shelter and support. It was both real and in our imaginations. It was our backup, our drive.
And still, knowing all this; we pushed against each other- willing the other to fall down -just for a laugh.
All because we had our backs to each other.
Until one day, I lent back.
And my heart gave a cry and my stomach dropped and my head fell back while my mind spun around in confusion and fear and anger welled up inside my gut for a moment. Like a dark little seed that would inevitably rot away like fleeting thoughts you didn't mean to think; do… You weren't there.
And although I landed safely enough, I didn't break; I was made of tougher stuff then that. It ached worse then any bruise.
And I made the mistake of looking up, to spin around and punch you straight in the jaw for letting me fall through like that. It was a cruel joke and I knew you would smirk coldly or laugh out loud or maybe today you would surprise me (more so) and outright apologise…
I realised you weren't behind me.
You were in front of me.
With you back turned on me. And you simply stood there; ready to walk on ahead without so much as a glance. With your back to me.
And for the first time …it hurt.
No I don't really know where I was going with this.
Hopefully it was a mesh of Both Sasuek AND Naruto and their twisted little 'lean-on-me-and I'll-lean-on-you-but-i-still-don't-like-you' relationship. And how Sasuke saw Naruto moving on ahead of him and Naruto felt Sasuke was the one walking away and leaving him behind….They both felt betrayed to a certain extent.
Go with it! Just go with it!