Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics.

A friend asked me to write this for another friend for Christmas. She specifically asked for something centering around Dick Grayson and Wally West.

"No."

"No what?"

"We're not doing this."

"Why not?"

"Because-"

"It was our job to decorate the lounge right?"

"Yes but-"

"And did I not just decorate the lounge?"

"You did but Wa-"

"So what, exactly, is the prob-"

"BECAUSE YOU DECORATED IT IN FLASH FAMILY STUFF!"

Dick Grayson, the acrobatic hero now calling himself Nightwing, finally snapped at his childhood friend and superhero compatriot Wally West, currently the third man to call himself the Flash.

Dick hadn't meant to snap at Wally, and wasn't really in his nature to act that way, but Wally's stream of interruptions for the sake of pointing out so-called "logical facts" on the situation had grated on his nerves.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Wally mused.

Wally turned his attention towards the main lounge area of the Tower, the headquarters used by the superhero team known as the Titans. True enough, the Christmas decorations all carried a theme originating from the Scarlet Speedster of Central City, in hues of red and yellow. Lightning bolts were everywhere, Santa wore a small metal helmet similar to the one worn by the Roman God Mercury (or Hermes in Greek myth), and the tree was adorned with tiny figurines of several different speedsters and a majority of villains from Central and Keystone City (except a select few whose crimes were too atrocious to be made fun of).

Currently, the team was composed of its main five founders, Dick, Wally, Donna Troy (Troia), Garth (Tempest), and Roy Harper (Arsenal), alongside the younger heroes known as Damage (Grant Emerson), Jesse Quick (Jesse Chambers), Argent (Toni Moretti), and the not-so-younger heroes Cyborg (Victor Stone) and Starfire (Koraind'r).

It was the holiday season, and the Titans had drawn lots to determine who would be responsible for what in order to make their headquarters more festive for the month of December. Victor and Koriand'r were both excluded from the drawing, as Victor chose to spend the season on the West Coast with his grandparents and his best friend Gar Logan (another Titan), while Kory was off world at the moment to deal with some familial matters. Leaving eight Titans behind, the seasonal chores had been divided four ways to two-person teams. Snow removal went to Garth and Toni, Roy and Grant got cooking, Donna and Jesse were organizing the Christmas party, which left decorating to Dick and Wally.

"I thought things would go easier if we had a theme to focus on." Wally casually mentioned.

"We or you?" Dick asked. "Come on, we're supposed to do this together."

"You think I don't know what decorating with you is like? It's the only time of year you're completely in 'bat' mode." Wally asked.

"I am not neurotic about Christmas decorating." Dick protested.

"Remember last year? You snuck up behind Donna and said, and I quote," Wally cleared his throat, "'The gingerbread man is supposed to be 45 degrees apart from the happy snowman with the little chip in its hat.' She nearly had a heart attack. Then, as Roy was stringing up the garland, you went 'Red garland is a tacky affront to this tree and you are going to use silver.'"

"Well it is!" Dick said.

"Roy got so freaked he legitimately thought Batman was here and screamed 'Christ how did he get in?!' He wouldn't go near the tree for a week."

"Look, Wally, I don't want to argue with you on this. Can we just decorate the right way?" Dick sighed. Wally rolled his eyes.

"I mean-"

Dick blinked, and suddenly the room was much darker.

"-it." By the time Dick had finished his statement, Wally had taken the Flash decorations off, zipped out, and gotten new decorations.

Bat decorations.

Lots, and lots of bat decorations.

It was bat mania in the Titans lounge. It was Christmas of the Bat.

"Is this more to your liking, master?" Wally asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"Wally." Dick rubbed his eyes.

"You're the only guy I know who can get this hung up on Christmas decorating. Well, the second guy."

Dick simply did a patented Bat Family glare at the speedster.

"Fix. It." Dick snarled.

"Okay, okay. Your wish is my command." Wally grinned, and once again he was gone in a you-know-what. Dick sighed and rubbed his temples, feeling a massive headache coming on. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began saying to himself:

"It's just decorating. It's just decorating."

"How's this?" Wally asked.

Dick opened his eyes.

"IS THAT MY UNDERWEAR?!" Dick screamed.

"I legitimately cannot believe you actually own white boxers with hearts. That is, I, is there even a word for that?"

And that was when Dick heard something inside his head snap like a twig.

…

"-I can't believe what that woman did just to get a Superman hat." Donna said as she and the rest of the Titans walked down the hallway. They had just returned from Christmas shopping.

"Babe, this is why I keep saying we should order online." Roy had his arm around Donna as they walked.

"You think she's gonna need rabies shots?" Grant asked.

"I hope those doggies are okay." Lian, Roy's little daughter, added in.

"I'm more worried about that security guard and the guys who worked at the pretzel bo-" Garth trailed off when the Titans entered the lounge.

The radio was blaring "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" on a loop.

Wally was covered in white foam and stuck to the wall.

Dick was strung up by his hands and feet from the ceiling with fake holly and garland.

The two Titans looked as if they wanted to claw out their eardrums just to get the music to stop.

"How long have you two been stuck like this?!" Donna cried.

"T-two hours." Wally stammered.

"The music. Make it stop. Or kill us. Please." Dick begged.

"Hold on." Donna said, and suddenly shoved the bags in her hands to Jesse.

"Hey!" Jesse cried, but Donna ignored her as she went to help her two "adult" friends. As Donna got to work on getting Wally and Dick free, while the other Titans (and Lian) huddled together in the hallway, making sure to keep their voices low.

"So how does this look?" Garth asked Toni.

"Well let's see," Toni said as she pulled out a little notebook from her back pocket. "Two people bet they were gonna be flinging ornaments at one another, two bet the lounge would be partially burned, one bet they were actually going to get along-"

"Donna." Everyone said in unison.

"And the person who bet they would both be tied up was Roy."

And then nearly everyone groaned while Roy looked very pleased with himself.

"Do I know these guys or what?" Roy asked.

"Yeah yeah, you're a real friend." Garth mumbled.

Toni handed Roy a fat wad of bills.

"Pleasure doing business with you." Roy smugly stated as he began leafing through his monetary gain.

"Daddy, you bet against Uncle Dick and Wally? That's so mean!" Lian chastised.

"And here's your cut of ten dollars." Roy pulled out two green bills with the picture of Abraham Lincoln on them and handed them to his little girl. The other Titans gave her an assortment of looks while her father just smirked with pride.

Lian sheepishly took the five dollars and put it in her pocket, blushing like a tomato the entire time.

"…it's for Christmas shopping." She muttered.