Namine-sama and Jin-sama walk onto the stage.

"Aw. Crap." Axel says.

"Thank you for that, Axel-kun," Jin-sama says, whacking him on the head, and getting spiked by his hair.

Namine-sama stares at them.

"Anyway… we all here? Including Nigel?"

"Nigel? Where?" Jin-sama shouts.

Namine-sama points and Jin-sama runs out and FLYINGTACKLEHUGGLEPOUNCE's him.

"Now that's just awkward…" Namine-sama says, then she spots Hayner.

Hayner's eyes widen and he runs off.

Namine-sama giggles and takes up her clipboard.

"Welcome to Kingdom Q! You guys will sing fitting Avenue Q

Songs… meaning they will make no sense, but you won't be the same characters all the damn time. Questions?"

Roxas raises his hand.

"Roxas-kun?"

"What are the couples or do we want to know?"

Namine-sama checks her clipboard, "Well… for the sex song it's Kaimine and Roxora… otherwise, it's Kaimine, Roxora and Axiku."

"AW. CRAP!" the rest of the Kingdom Hearts People shouted.

"And with that, let's start with It Sucks To Be Me! Namine-chan as Kate Monster," Namine-sama shouts.

Jin-sama returns to the stage, "Roxas as Rod."

"Axel as Brian."

"Riku as Christmas Eve."

"Sora as Nicky."

"Kairi as Princeton."

"And Hayner as Gary Coleman!!"

"GO!!" They shouted together.

Jin-sama ran into the audience and continued to huggle Nigel.

Namine-sama decided to drink Diet Coke. (Oh, crud.)

NAMINE
Morning, Brian!

AXEL
Hi, Kate Monster.

NAMINE
How's life?

AXEL
Disappointing!

NAMINE
What's the matter?

AXEL
The caterine company
laid me off.

NAMINE
Oh, I'm sorry!

AXEL
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college, and I
always thought -

NAMINE
What?

AXEL
No, it sounds stupid.

NAMINE
Aww, come on!

AXEL
When I was little
I thought I would be...

NAMINE
What?

AXEL
A big comedian
on late night TV
But now I'm thirty-two
And as you can see
I'm not

NAMINE
Nope!

AXEL
Oh Well,
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE
Nooo.

AXEL
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE
No!

AXEL
It sucks to be broke
and unemployed
and turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE
Oh, you think your life sucks?

AXEL
I think so.

NAMINE
Your problems aren't so bad!
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.

AXEL
You are.

NAMINE
Thanks!
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!

AXEL
Me too.

NAMINE
It sucks to be me.

AXEL
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian...

NAMINE
And Kate...

AXEL
To not have a job!

NAMINE
To not have a date!

BOTH
It sucks to be me.

AXEL
Hey, ROd, Nicky, can you
settle something for us?
Do you have a second?

ROXAS
Ah, certainly.

NAMINE
Whose life sucks more?
Brian's or mine?

SORA AND ROXAS
Ours!

ROXAS
We live together.

SORA
We're as close
As people can get.

ROXAS
We've been the best
of buddies...

SORA
Ever since the
Day we met.

ROXAS
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.

SORA
Come on, that's
an exaggeration!

ROXAS
You leave your
clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.

SORA
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.

ROXAS
You make that very
Small apartment
We share a hell.

SORA
So do you,
That's why I'm in hell too!

ROXAS
It sucks to be me!

SORA
No, it sucks to be me!

NAMINE
It sucks to be me!

AXEL
It sucks to be me!

ALL
Is there anybody here
It doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!

RIKU
Why you all so happy?

SORA
Becuase our lives suck!

RIKU
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in
Korean deli
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two Master's Degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients
And I have an
Unemployed fiance'!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Suck!
It suck to be me!

KAIRI
Excuse me?

AXEL
Hey there.

KAIRI
Sorry to bother you, but I'm
looking for a place to live.

RIKU
Why you looking all
the way out here?

KAIRI
Well, I started at Avenue A,
but so far everything is out
of my price range. But this
neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign!

AXEL
You need to talk to
the superintendent.
Let me get him.

KAIRI
Great, thanks!

AXEL
Yo, Gary!

HAYNER
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

KAIRI
Oh my God!
It's Gary Coleman!

HAYNER
Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -

ALL
It sucks to be you.

NAMINE
You win!

ALL
It sucks to be you.

AXEL
I feel better now!

HAYNER
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.

ALL
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be us)
But not when
We're together.
We're together
Here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams
Come true,
We live on Avenue Q!

KAIRI
This is real life!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

SORA
You're gonna love it!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

HAYNER
Here's your keys!

ALL
Welcome to Avenue Q!

"'Cause you're lives do kinda suck…" Namine-sama commented.

"WE KNOW!!!" the actors shouted, running down the steps.

"And you can tell I ship Princeton/Kate Monster, Nicky/Rod and, of course, Brian/Christmas Eve!!!" Namine-sama shouted.

"WE CAN SEE THAT!!!" The actors shouted, finding their seats. Hayner sat next to Namine-sama and began to sulk.

"Geez… PMS much?" Jin-sama commented.

Everybody glared at the brunette with much contempt.

"Wait a minute, Jin-sama's a brunette and I'm a blonde…" Namine-sama said, her eyes widening.

"Yeah…" Roxas said.

"So we're Roxora…" Namine-sama finished.

"YOU TWO ARE DESTINED!!!" Jin-sama screamed, pointing to Roxas and Sora, who blushed and slid down in their seats.

"What about us?" Namine-sama asked.

"Ew. Awkward." Jin-sama said, making the awkward turtle gesture.

"Yes. Awkward." Namine-sama agreed, mirroring her Other.

"…"