When June 3rd rolls around, Rory refuses to leave the house in case her mother drowns in the growing piles of tear-stained tissues that surround every inch of it. She does leave for about an hour when Lorelai's all cried out and is napping on the couch and goes to the diner to check up on Luke, because despite the fact that he didn't respond to her ultimatum and it was his stupid kid that fucked it all up (Lorelai's words, even though she did say afterwards that it was her fault for giving him the ultimatum in the first place and that she should have been happy with what she had, shouldn't have gotten greedy), he was meant to be getting married, too, and no matter what, he'll always be a part of their lives.
He's doing okay, he says, although according to Babette he still hasn't acknowledged what day it is yet. Apparently, he's been rushing around the diner all day, taking on any task he can in a desperate bid to distract himself. But he looks like he's really getting on alright - better than her mom, at least.
June 4th, she goes to the diner.
Lorelai turns up at the diner and actually sits there and drinks her coffee and eats her burger and fries and they make small talk. Sort of. She gives him a box of his things that she feels no longer belong under her bed (translation: she gives him a box of his things that can't live under her bed for another day because she won't be able to survive on yet another sleepless night) and he gives her the loud scarf that he always pretended he hated, even though they both knew he had a soft spot for it.
"Your favourite scarf. You left it at my apartment the night before we broke up," he says, reluctantly passing it over the counter.
"Thanks," she says, lips pursed tightly in what's supposed to be a smile. "Rory's been meaning to borrow it."
He's wearing the black cap again.
"Really?" he asks, his smile more genuine. His amusement is obvious and it manages to ease the thick layer of tension coating the room. "Rory wants to borrow this scarf? Lorelai, I clearly remember her turning your offers down to borrow it."
"Well, that's just jealousy because she didn't take me up on my offer when I agreed to buy her a matching one."
"She's going crazy, I guess," he says with a fond smile.
"Well, we've known that for a while now." They sit and stare at each other for a while, both unwilling to address the massive elephant in the room. It almost feels like a game of chicken – both waiting to see who'll back off first.
She loses.
"I've gotta get back to work," she says, even though they both know he doesn't believe it.
"Yeah, I'll uh – I'll see you later."
"See you later, Luke." She tries to give him a genuine smile, although she's not entirely sure it works. As she's going out the door, she turns around and says, "Hey, I like your hat."
He doesn't wear the hat again. He wears the green cap that Rory bought him for his birthday the year before.
June 5th is an okay day. It's okay in the sense that neither of them kill themselves or anyone around them, because that's about as okay as it's going to get.
It's okay because nobody gives them any sympathetic looks or pats on the backs and so they're almost able to pretend that it isn't happening, despite the fact that her calendar is mocking her an inordinate amount with the now two days old Not my wedding she'd marked on after Lane and Zach's.
June 6th sucks. It just sucks a whole lot for no actual reason, it just sucks.
June 7th is what Luke thinks could be a turning point, but ends up just sucking even more than June 6th.
June 8th, Lorelai makes a list of all the reasons she should be grateful that the relationship is over:
Luke has a kid. A thirteen-year-old kid. That age is always the worst for raising kids, and she doesn't want to be that wicked stepmom that everyone hates.
He can get crazy jealous. Like, crazy jealous.
And that's all she can think of.
June 9th is fine, and that's it.
June 10th is the best day since June 4th because they talk again and she comments on his green cap and the meeting doesn't make either of them want to claw their eyes out. They make small talk, finding it slightly easier than the time before, and for once she thinks that things might be looking up, but then April comes in and Lorelai has to force herself to clear out because she can't look the kid in the eye without wanting to either cry in a dark room to her favourite sad songs, or punch a hole in a wall.
On June 11th, Rory comes home again for three days and she spends a day and a half with Lorelai, who's somehow managing to act more normal than she has in months. She looks after Paul Anka and takes him on three walks all around Stars Hollow, catching him up on her college life and all the trials and tribulations of a Yale student despite the fact that even as far as a dog goes, he's never shown a particular interest. She catches up with Babette and Miss Patty and even manages a conversation with Jess over the phone, which is somehow both strained and ridiculously heartwarming.
She spends June 12th with Luke, who's self-admittedly falling apart. She ends up having to take over the diner for a couple of hours while he cries/drinks himself into a stupor in the storage room, and he really appreciates it when she doesn't mention it afterwards.
June 13th, she's invited to the wedding of one of her old high school "friends." Friends might be putting it a bit strongly, she thinks.
She gets a plus one and, on the card, the girl writes Hope you can bring your fiance! Oh, wait. I forgot, you don't have a fiance because you threw it all away. Better luck next time!
She cries herself to sleep.
On June 14th, Liz comes in with Doula and dumps her on Luke, and the more he starts to look at her, the more Doula's muddy brown eyes begin to look like Lorelai's bright blue ones, and he starts to see hints of brown in her blonde tufts.
He imagines all day that this is his and Lorelai's baby and that at the end of the night, he's going to go home and she's going to be there, lounging on the couch talking to Rory on the phone, racking up the phone bill until Paris starts yelling on the other end about needing to use the phone herself.
When they try and sleep, the baby will keep them up with her crying, and then Paul Anka will feel left out and will start whining, and they'll both end up staying up all night. He'll end up falling asleep on the job and Cesar will have to take over and they'll end up sleeping all day until the baby wakes them up, but they'll have their solid three hours and the presence of each other to keep themselves going.
By two o'clock, he's convinced himself he's lost his mind.
June 15th, Lorelai helps out on a school trip for Stars Hollow Middle School. She watches as the kids play together, so happy and carefree, and has to bite her lip to stop herself from crying at the fact that everyone in the room but her has not a care in the world.
June 16th, he's done with the whole fucking world.
June 17th, April asks him why they broke up, and he tells her why, and Luke's never seen a thirteen-year-old look so deflated when he tells her as gently as he can that it was her fault.
June 18th, he's cleaning out his closet and he finds her flannel and the blue baseball cap that she bought him and he's back to square one.
June 19th is actually an alright day for Lorelai. It's a busy day at the inn and so she has something to distract her from all of the Luke feelings swirling around in her brain and the fact that they haven't spoken in nine days.
June 20th is the day that they have their big reunion. Well, sort of. They don't get back together, but they muddle through a sort of conversation about their feelings in the middle of Doose's.
"I'm sorry, and I miss you," she says, and he says it back, and there's a moment – an almost – where she swears he was going to go in for a kiss, but it ends up being for nothing when Taylor catches sight of them and launches into a rant about how they're forbidden from getting back together for the good of the town, and neither one of them has the energy to argue.
So many things go wrong for the both of them on June 21st.
First of all, his coffee machine breaks, and he ends up having to stab himself in the back by buying a cup from Weston's.
Second of all, Davey hits her in the stomach and yells "I hate you!" and for some reason, it hurts deeper than any time Rory ever did anything of the sort.
And now, here he is, staring at a picture of them on his mantelpiece because he's too chicken to throw it away.
June 22nd comes around far too late for his liking. He sleeps through most of it because his pillows no longer smell of her and each breath tastes more and more of non-Lorelai related things, and he's forced to come to the stark realisation that one day soon, his life and body will have rebuilt itself without her.
June 23rd is the day of April's middle school graduation, and so he puts on a nice sweater and combs his hair back and pretends his world isn't crumbling.
June 24th, Rory calls twice in one day. Lorelai's never been so grateful to get away from TV and Chinese food.
June 25th, she orders a huge breakfast from him and stays for four cups of coffee, and Morey tells Babette that the spark in her eyes is beginning to come back.
June 26th is the day that he stops and asks himself what he's doing, and why he's so upset because she's his friend, and it might not be what it should have been, but it's better than nothing.
All Lorelai can think is that Rory was right, Rory was so right – they are losing Luke.
On June 27th, he listens to one of the CDs that Jess left behind, and God, if anyone ever found out he'd take it to his grave, but it isn't as bad as he once thought they would have been, considering their God awful t-shirt designs.
June 28th isn't the day that they get back together like they both silently hope it will be, but June 28th is the day that they attend the town festival together, and it's very nice and civilised. For the first time in a long time, Lorelai feels like she can breathe in his presence.
June 29th is the day that she turns up to the wedding of her high school "friend" without a plus one and she doesn't give a damn, and thankfully, not one person – even the bride herself – mentions the way that she has to force her smile to stay on all day, or the way that she barely manages to hold a normal conversation all day.
June 30th is the day that they're both finally okay.