I'm not going to apologize for it, cause the truth is I'd do it again.

Part 1

Edward and Bella were parked out over near Jacob's house, which didn't lighten my mood. They were probably talking, like a real couple. Damn, why was I too young for Edward?

See, the real story was, Edward wanted me, but I was too young, so he settled for Bella. This shit about him and Bella falling in love is so fake that it isn't even funny.

I peek through the tree, well, bush-like thing. I saw the rusty pick-up truck and thought over my old plan. Jump Bella and take Edward for myself. Ha ha. Not going to happen, though.

I snuck out of the bush, trying not to make a lot of noise. Edward must've heard me, ya know, with his extensive hearing. Thinking he already heard me so he must not care, I walked out. I went from a crouch to a full-length stand, and I stalked out of the bushes, fearless.

My feet made shuffling noises after rubbing my feet across the dirt floor. Edward - I saw from the windshield - glanced my way, but then turned his attention back to Bella.

I continued to walk, and I heard a howl.

Click.

My new plan. Jacob was there. Hehehe. I really like this plan. I started to run over to the cliff, where I saw Jacob, standing, in his human form.

I hate Bella but I hate Jake more.

"Hey, Jake."

I stepped out into the sunlight he was in. He didn't notice me, for he was staring deeply at the water down the cliff.

"Jake!"

"If she hadn't have jumped, I'd still have her." He stared at the water now with frustration.

"She'd be in my arms right now, instead of the bloodsucker down there." He spit the word bloodsucker. He jutted his chin out to the direction Bella and Edward were parked.

I was frustrated now. He was completely ignoring me, and still staring at the dumb water. Fuck this.

"If you like the water so much, why don't you go swimming?!" I spit out, frustrated with this stupid mutt. I stuck my arms out and pushed him.

Since he wasn't paying attention, he didn't notice me push him until he was falling.

"Ahhhhh!" He yelled as he was falling.

I leaned over the edge of the cliff, making sure I don't fall, but still wanting to see Jacob fall.

He fell back first into the water, with a huge splash.

I fell onto my back, in a seizure-like way, laughing my ass off. Ahaha. I was laughing and laughing. I was surprised for a brief second that Edward hadn't come to check what was so funny. He must be too interested in the dull Bella.

I gritted my teeth. I didn't like that idea. For a second, I thought I heard faint footsteps.

Of course, though, I was just imagining it, because I wanted Edward to come.

Another click processed in my head. I had a new plan. I had to make as much noise as I could now. Haha. I like this plan, too. It is conjoined with my original plan somehow, too.

Suddenly, I heard faint footsteps. For real this time. I made myself stop my ever lasting hysterics and get up. The footsteps were sticky - it seemed - they stuck to the ground, like they were soaked.

Uh, oh. Damn it, damn it, damn it! Jacob's coming back. I should have taken off when I could have. Now, along with the noisy footsteps, came a nasty smell. It was - according to Edward - wet dog. Haha.

I resisted the urge to go back into hysterics.

He marched out of the shadows, soaked down to the bone, and pissed off indefinitely.

He was standing rigid, like he was cold - unlikely, since he was a werewolf - and his fists were clenched together. His arms were straight down at his side, and boy, was he a sight!

His clothes were tight against him now, due to the rain, and I almost burst out laughing again. I could see his formation of his bones, and I could see his 12 pack.

Didn't make me like him any more than I already did, which wasn't that much.

He stalked over to me, dripping, and that just made me more amused than I already was. And I thought that that was impossible.

He moved one of his rigid arms, and put one finger out, like he was commanding me, like my dumbass teachers.

"I swear…" He started, but I cut him off.

"I'm sorry," Of course I didn't mean it, but it was all part of the plan. I pulled him into an embrace, and I could feel his confused face.

I let go of his waist and grabbed his arms.

"What the hell?!" He said, but it was just an echo to me; I pushed him again. And he fell, soundlessly again, that is, until he hit the water.

Again, there was a big splash, and I heard him say, "Ah!" One effortless scream, like it was hopeless.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" I started to laugh again. I fell down again in hysterics. I tried to calm myself, but that just made me laugh even more.

"AHAHAHA!" It was just so hilarious.

Then, I heard some more footsteps, soft, not wet, like Jacob's.

"What are you doing?" Bella. I had made enough noise. My plan fell into place perfectly.

"What? Where's Jake?" She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Where is he?"

"Oh, um…" I took her hands and removed them from my shoulders. I put them at her side. I didn't want her touching me.

"I pushed him down the cliff." I answered simply, pretending I didn't care, though, inside I was laughing.

"What?!" She asked, astonished.

"You heard me, Bitch!" I yelled.

I pushed her, and she was appalled by that, too.

"Oh, c'mon, Bitch! Your just going to walk away, not even try to fight? I was looking forward to a good fight. Remember, you run with vampires, you must be tough." I mocked, and that set something off inside of her. It made her eyes fill with rage, made her grit her teeth, made her determined.

She turned back to me, and I put my arms up in fists, ready to kick her ass.

Then, Jake appeared behind me. Just as it was getting good, it got better. Could this get any better? I asked myself, incredulous.

He got in between us both, which was obviously a bad idea, and he realized that just as it was too late.

"Move it, asshole!" I screamed at him.

"No,"

"Don't say I didn't warn you,"

I swung my fist. I was going for Bella. Jacob, who was in my path now, wasn't paying attention to me. He was staring, dumbfounded by Bella. So, I caught him off guard.

"AHAHA!" We were right at the edge of the cliff, so he went flying again.

"Damn it!" He shouted as he fell.

I couldn't laugh yet. Bella was still here. I would finish her and then, I would take Edward and run while I could.

She slowly went to the edge of the cliff, looking down.

"Jake?" She whispered, though, she sounded like she was on the verge of laughing, or it might have been on the verge of crying. To me, it didn't really matter.

She was leaning over the edge, her back to me, like the idiot she was.

"Not a good idea, Bitch!" I yelled. God, she was so stupid. That dipshit. She looked back at me, quickly, then, I pushed her. She fell like a pencil, head first.

"NO!" I heard her scream right before her giant splash. Hers was bigger than Jacob's. That shows how fat her ass is.

Now I could laugh and I did. I laughed so hard and so long, and neither of them ever came back.

Edward came from the red cab, eventually, though.

"Where is Bella?"

"She fell off the cliff," I said, innocently. If I told him I pushed her, he'd never take me back.

"Oh, Okay," He looked like he was perfectly fine. No hysteric crying, no screaming like he was having a tantrum, not even a frown. Wow, this was working out better than I thought.

"She fell about an hour ago. I think the tide kind of, well, you know…" I shrugged, and his face didn't show any speck of pain at all. "I feel so bad. I did what I could to save her, but she, well, she doesn't like me. So she wouldn't take my hand." Inside, I was laughing. I would never even think about trying to save her.

I can just imagine it. Everyone races in to save her. She's holding onto the ledge of the cliff. I break through the crowd and get to her. Everybody's grabbing her hand. "Let me get her." I'd say, "I'm a professional…saver." And the idiots, being stupid like they are, would back away. They I'd push her right off and enjoy every minute of when she fell down the cliff.

I saw the sun, above my head, glimmer off of his sparkling skin. So he sparkled in the sun. Sexy.

He grabbed my hands, his cold hands shocking me, but only for a second. He brought me into the woods.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." He said, holding my hands. Wow, that was really quick. Although, he had known me before, but still….Oh well. The quicker, the better.

"What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick, masochistic lion." He said, almost amused.

I jumped onto his back. "How do you avoid the trees?"

"It's an instinct. I don't even think about it."

Then, we left them all back there and went to his house.

"I want to show Alice my new girlfriend. I can tell you already that she loves you."

I grinned.

"What happens if they don't like me?"

"Your worried, not because you're going to a houseful of vampires but you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

"Yes."

He chuckled and set me down. We were at his house now.

He leaned down and for the first time, and his lips touched mine, very softly.

And then I collapsed.

"Love?" His alarmed voice was the first thing I heard.

"You…Made…Me…Faint," I accused.

He picked me up and groaned. "What am I going to do with you?"

I laughed, still dizzy.

So, I met his family, with my thoughts mixed up, still dizzy, and they still loved me. Especially Esme. She was happy Edward had found someone. Alice was already like my own sister. And she was going to do my wedding.

Edward had proposed to me, right then, in front of his family, actually, he had to beg me. It was really quick. I had killed someone, fell in love, and got engaged all in one day. Wow.

He gave me his mother's ring, and I loved it. The wedding was unimaginable. Alice did an unbelievable job even though I didn't want to go.

So, that's how it all turned out. Just because I pushed Jacob down the cliff twice, I became married to the most gorgeous man on the world.

After I was a vampire, the police caught up to me for the deeds I did that changed my life.

Part 2

The police officer's name was Charlie Swan. He wanted to interview me.

CS (Police Officer): "So, Mrs. Cullen," It hurt him to say Cullen for some odd reason. "Did you do this? Did you take away the lives of my daughter, Bella, and her friend, Jacob Black?"

TC (Me): "Yes."

CS: "Do you care that people know this?"

TC: "I don't give a shit! I hated them both so much, and I'm not going to apologize because the truth is that I'd do it again." I chuckled after.

CS: "And why don't you give a 'shit?"

He said the word shit like he'd never said it before in his life.

TC: "'Cause they both suck!"

CS: "Okay…"

He took notes on some weird clipboard that I assumed was my record. I was a vampire. Why did I care about my record.

TC: "Can I leave now?"

CS: "Calm down, Mrs. Cullen. No, you can't leave yet. We need some more questions."

TC: "Like what?"

I was frustrated. I wanted to leave. Edward was at home with Rosalie and sometimes I didn't trust that girl.

CS: "Were there any witnesses?"

TC: "If there were witnesses, do you think I would've done it?"

CS: "Well, you seem like the type to--"

TC: "Okay, what's your name again? Charlie? Get off my back. Chimpy, I don't care what I did. Don't you get that yet?"

CS: (Sigh)

He just stared at the floor, not saying anything, not moving.

TC: "Chucky, dude, are you dead or something? Okay, I'm leaving."

I mouthed 'Thank you, Lord' as I walked to the door.

Then, I heard his chair creak and he sat up.

TC: "Damn, Charles, You scared me half to death. I was about to…um, get another police officer."

I made the excuse up quick.

CS: "It's Charlie! Charlie!"

TC: "Wait, who's Charlie? Where?"

I spun my head around trying to find it, or him. Or her.

CS: "My name is Charlie!"

TC: "Does it look like I care?"

CS: "Calm down, and sit back down."

TC: "No."

I turned around and walked out.

Edward was so proud of me for standing up like that, and he said he would've done the same thing.

HAHA. Isn't it funny.

Sorry to all Jacob lovers but I was being creative one day about my desire for Edward. lol.