My Love
I didn't know what to say. There are no words to tell the person you have known all you're life that you are in love with them. I sat there quietly crying myself until I feel asleep. He crushed me and I swore there, drenched in my prom dress, that no one would ever hurt me the way that he did. That was until he came back.
"Lisa, I told you that I have too much to do to be worried whether Mr. Sampson gets his dry cleaning back on time. I am leaving today for my sister's wedding. I will be back on Monday. I promise you will be just fine until then."
This was the third conversation I had had with Lisa since I left. You see, Mr. Sampson is the head of the advertisement department at our company. He is the "big cheese" as my dad would say. If he was not pleased with how something was handled, they would hear about it on the 4th floor. We are on the 15th.
"I know Bella. I am sorry about all of this. Just get your butt back here before he makes me do something more important than get his coffee."
Lisa had become my very good friend and new roomate. We met at college and it all just seemed to click. She offered me some Goobers in our first English class together and I knew I could trust her. I mean who just offers up their Goobers like that.
"Look, I will be back on Monday morning with coffee in hand for Mr. Sampson. Just take deep breaths and everything will be fine. But, I have to go. My sister should be picking me up at the airport and I have yet to find her. I'll call you a little later to check in."
I heard her sigh before saying ok and hanging up.
I looked around but Alice was no where to be found. I know I had told her all my flight plans. She was to be here promptly at 9:15 AM to pick me up. Rose, my other sister, was getting married tomorrow and I couldn't be happier for her. Her and Emmett met while sky diving and fell in love as soon as they hit the ground.
Finally, I thought as I looked down to see Alice was calling me.
"Hey! Where are you? My plane landed 15 minutes ago and I don't see you anywhere."
"Well hello to you too. You don't see me because I am not there."
She stopped talking at once because I was yelling and almost making a scene at baggage claim.
"WHAT? What do you mean you are not here? I asked and you said you would be here to get me no problem! I can't believe this Alice! I told you over and over that I did not want Mom to come and get me. You know what happened last time her and I were alone in the same room!"
In all my yelling and scene making, I never saw the figure standing behind me. I hung up on Alice as she should have expected and turned around right into the very person I had wanted to see the most.
"Hey you need to watch where you are going!" Then, of course after I make yet another scene, I look up.
"Well excuse me ma'am but I was just looking for an old friend I used to know. She sort of looks like you but the Bella I know would never be so rude to someone on the phone as you were."
Jacob. Oh, Jacob! He was my friend from childhood that I missed most when I left. He looked exactly the same except he was a little taller.
"Jacob! Oh my gosh! I am so sorry that I yelled at you like that. I was on the phone with Alice and was afraid she was sending you know who to get me. But, man! I am so glad to see you!"
He gave me a knowing look. I hated that look. That look was the very look I got for 3 months after He-who-must-not-be-named took off on me.
"Don't look at me like that. I know that look and I do not want that look."
He looked at me again like my puppy had just died. "I said stop it! We have a lot to catch up on without hashing out the past."
"For your information, I was not giving you a look. I was simply looking at how different my best friend looks. I have really missed you." He grabbed me and gave me one of his famous breath taking hugs.
"I have missed you too. Now, we need to get going before one of the crazies calls me," but I never even had time to finish before my phone was going off.
"Hello, I found Jake, and we are leaving right now." I answered the phone assuming that it would be one of the girls or my mother calling me. Boy was I wrong.
I heard a chuckle. Yes I said chuckle and I knew exactly who it belonged to, then I heard his voice. "Hey Bella, did I catch you at a bad time?"
I looked at Jake and must have had a panick look on my face. He took my phone asked who was calling the just...hung up the phone.
"What did you do that for?" I screamed at him. "Did you really want to talk to him? He broke your heart, ran off and never even gave a reason. I didn't think there was anything left for you to say to him after you kicked him in the balls."
Well, he had a point. I was just super curious as to why he was calling. I mean it had been 4 years.
"Ok, ok. We REALY have to go now." Jake laughed, grabbed my bag and my arm and we were out of there.
We talked the whole time to my mom's house. Nothing about Jacob Black had changed with the exception of how tall he was. He told me about his job as a mechanic, his cars he was rebuilding, and his new girlfriend, Leigha. I was so happy for him and the life he had built for himself. We gre up together in Madison and he always felt like my brother. I couldn't imagine him and I ever not being this close, but that's how I felt about someone else once too.
His name was Edward. He was my high school sweetheart. We had been friends since freshman year in high school. I was the new kid on the block and he was super nice to me. We became instant friends and a couple not long after that. He was my everything and I thought I was his. Boy, was I wrong!
It was really hard to even think about what he did to me all those years ago. But I knew now that I loved him but I do not think that I was in love with him. I never really had anyone around to show me what love is. I made a promise that I would never allow myself to get close to someone else to get that hurt. And I have kept that promise. I have no boyfriend or potential of any kind. And that is the way it was going to stay.
As soon as we pulled up to my dad's house, I knew things were about to get crazy but here I was safe. "Thanks for the ride Jake. You are going to be at the wedding right? I don't think I coud face this crowd without having you in my corner."
"I will be there but Leigha has to work and wasn't able to get out of it. I will, if you want, be your date and keep certain people in line." He smirked and we both knew we were talking about Emmett's scumy friend Mike Newton. They had been friends since grade school so we put up with him. But he had a need to hit on me every time he saw me, or even heard my name.
"YES," I almost screamed at him. "I will need all the protection that I can get while there. I will see you later." I leaned over, gave him a kiss, and jumped out. Trying to mentally prepare myself for the war zone I was about to walk into.
Just as I was about to open the door, I heard voices inside say my name. So of course pretending to be Nancy Drew, I snuck in quietly to hear what they were saying.
"Emmett, I am telling you right now that if he comes and makes a scene it will be you that pays for it too. Bella has been through too much for her to have to deal with this. I love you, but she is my sister and I need to protect her." It was Rose. She was threatening Emmett on my behalf, which meant that this was bad.
"Rosie, I promise you that it will be fine. I will keep him in line and in my sight at all times. I will handcuff him to me if I have to. I promise babe, Sunday is all about you and me. I did go so far as to threaten his life. Haha. The poor guy look a little scared. He has changed. After all it has been.."
I never got to hear the rest of what Emmett said because at this point my dad came running down the stairs screaming my name. He was super excited to see me and I couldn't believe he hadn't changed much.
"Oh Bella! You look beautiful! I have missed you so much. Are you hungry? I can run and get something or we can go to the diner and get something."
"Whoa, Charlie. Breath. " I had to squeeze out of his arms just to breathe. I loved Charlie so much. I was so glad to see him. It was more my..
"Bella! Oh darling how are you? I have missed you tremendously." ...mother. Oh for the love of all that is good in the world!
"Hello Mother. You are looking well." I didn't really want to speak with her. She was so angry with me for not foriving Edwa...NO! I will not think about him right now!
"Well...Bella, why don't we take your things up to your room and get you settled. We are having a dress rehearsal tonight at 7pm and need everyone on their toes," Rose said to me, more directing it towards everyone else in the room.
"Sure. Thanks," I look at her with greatful eyes. She was one of three people that really know what happened that night.
After all the drama of coming home, all I wanted was a shower. The great thing about Rose and Charlie is that they don't hover. They knew any time my mother was around, I was not the nicest person in the world. It was something I was trying to work on.
At 6:30pm, I went downstairs dressed and ready for anything. Something was going on with Emmett. As I came down, he ran into the kitchen. I went into the kitchen, he went into the living room. I look into the living room, he suddenly had to use the restroom. Hmm...Rose.
"Hey Rose, is Emmett ok? He's acting like..." I never got to finish because suddenly she was gone too.
"Sorry Bells, I need to get some things in the car for tonight." She almost ran out the door.
"Hold it!" I screamed at her. "Something is going on with you and Emmett. You both are so horrible at keeping things from anyone with a brain. Tell me right now or I will take drastic measures."
She looked like she just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. " Ok, so I know that I told you the names of the groomsman. But I may have lied a little about who the best man is. I love you and wanted you to be in the wedding so badly and Alice said that if I told you, you wouldn't come. Then there was the whole mom issue on whether to invite her or not.."
"ROSEALIE JANE SWAN!" I screamed her name. I couldn't hardly understand her because she was talking so quickly. I had a good feeling who this was really about and she was not getting off the hook easily. "Ok, first, slow down your talking. I know that you are just stalling so spit it out!"
"EdwardCullenisEmmett'sbestman," She mumbled and looked down at the ground.
I, on the other hand, froze. The second his name was out of her mouth I knew everything that I had fought to fight was at risk of coming to the surface.
"I know...that you...did not just say..." That's it I'm dead. I couldn't even say his name. I'm so screwed.
"Bells, look I'm really sorry. I knew Emmett had a friend that he talked to on te side sometimes but had no idea until a few weeks ago that it was the same Edwa.." She never got a chance to finish what she was saying because right at that moment, as my luck would have it, HE walked through the door.
"Hello, is anyone home?" He came walking in as if he owned the place with a smile on his face. That changed when he saw me. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"No," I whispered. "Rose, I am sorry but I have to go." And I ran. Again.
I ran and ran and ran. Then realized I had no where to go. He was in my father's house, which is where I was to stay for the next few days until all this was over. I couldn't believe I ran. It was just too much too soon.
I stopped when I got to the ocean. It was beautiful. I didn't even realize that is exactly where I needed to be. Every time when I was a kid and there was an issue I would come out to the ocean and the world seemed to calm around me. It was my safe place. Unfortunatley for me, you tell those kind of things to your best friend when you grow up together.
"So, I guess some things never change. Bella Swan still running when times get tough," He came walking though the trees.
I didn't need to look at him to know what he was doing. Right now he was slouched against a tree running his hand through his hair; something he did when he was nervous.
"Yeah I guess they don't. Edward Cullen still chasing something he will never have." It was a low blow but it was all I had.
"Ouch! Still sassy as ever I see. Well, its nice to know some things really don't change," he started to walk around towards me. He got within 5 feet and I already felt like I couldn't breath.
"You always were self assured," I looked up smiling. There he was. My Edward. He had not changed much. His hair was a little longer but still unmanagable and he was a little taller. I assumed that would happen, but what I didn't take in to account was how good he would smell. He always smelled like fresh laundry.
"And you were always beautiful." He moved his had as to brush away a piece of hair but stopped himself. I knew he was holding back but desperately wanted to kiss me. There had always been a fire between us. It was undeniable and we, just as everyone else, assumed we would be together forever. But I guess we got that wrong.
I moved back and went to walk away. "Stop running. For once, just stay," he sounded defeated. I stopped in my tracks. This was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be strong. So I let him have it.
"You have some nerve! I was the one that tried. I gave you space and called you for a month. I wrote you letters, emails, left hundreds of voicemails. YOU were the one that disappeared. Then when you were ready, came back thinking things would just return to the way they were. This is not my fault. And of all people to put in the middle, my sister.."
"Is marrying my best friend! Look I didn't put all the pieces together until it was too late to tell him about us. I couldn't turn down being his best man with all that he has done for me. He saved my life." He looked at me willing me to not be mad, I could feel it. He had another thing coming.
"Fine. This is what is going to happen. We are going to go back, not speak to each other, and get through this weekend. I do not want to discuss anything deeper then if your tie is on straight. Understood? I will not have our drama ruining Rose and Emmett's special day. We owe them that much." I was already wanting to go home and hide under the blankets.
"But can't we just talk about that day when I left.."
"Edward! I said no! I am going back to be with my sister. Either you can come with me stay here and talk with the ocean about your feelings. I can't do this with you."
I walked away hearing him yelling my name. I felt sixteen all over again. I couldn't do this with him. It has been five years and he still had power over me. But, this wasn't about me. It was about Rose and Emmett.
I got to the house and most everyone had left for the dinner. I checked my phone and had a message from Rose:
Left to avoid being late. Please ride with Edward to the dinner and I will pay for everything you do while in town. I am so sorry but I love you. Please do not hate me.
XOXOX - Rosie
Oh for heaven's sake! I loved her but was going to kill her for this. I heard him breathing behind me and once again new he was running his hands through his hair.
"Stop doing that. Your hair is a lost cause but you will make it worse if you keep up. Come on, you have to give me a ride seen as how everyone ditched us."
I didn't give him time to respond. I walked over to his car and waited. He didn't even blink but walked over and opened the door for me. I slipped in and was flooded with memories. This was the same car we had our first date, first kiss, first "I love you", first time...
"Ready to go?" He looked at me. I was so flustered all I could do was nod. I was thinking about all the good times we had in this car. It was our special place to get away.
"So, I know you said we aren't allowed to talk but can I ask about your life? I just want to know that you are doing well." Edward seemed honestly interested in me. I wouldn't be able to tell you why but I was pleased.
"Of course. Simple questions I can field. I work at an advertisement company in Seattle. I make my own schedule and have a horrible boss that I have to answer to. I really love it!" I couldn't help but gush when talking about my job. My boss might be a little hard to handle, but I wouldn't trade what I do for anything.
He seemed please with my answer. From there, things seemed to become easy. He told me about his job, and agent for a few athletes. He lived in Seattle as well; not too far from me actually, but he was not about to hear that.
We continued talking until we got to the dinner. We parked but just sat in the car for a few moments. I could feel him staring at me. I needed to get out of there before I did something I would regret.
I went to get out but he yelled no, jumped out and ran to open my door. I got out smiling and he simply said, "A lady never opens her own door in the company of a gentleman."
"Well that is very Carlisle of you. He would be proud." Edward's father had raised them to be propet. He would be very proud to see Edward in this moment.
We walked in and got a few looks that we ignored. I found my place and Edward disappeared to find his. Just my luck, they were right next to each other. Of course, I'm the Maid of Honor and he is the Best Man.
He pulled out my chair, we sat and fell right back into our conversation. This was easy. It was always easy with him. We had always just fit together.
"Hello gorgeous," came a voice followed by a tall blonde woman. She was stunning.
"Tanya," Edward said cooly. He did not seem to happy to have her sit next to him. We kept up our conversation for most of the night with Tanya trying to get his attention for most of it. It was comical to see her try so hard. I knew exactly who she was. Tanya Denali was Emmett's cousin and a tramp. I normally like everyone, but it was nearly imposible to like her.
We had a run in at a birthday party last summer. She called me a wannabe and I called her a two cent trick. I won that argument.
Rose and Emmett danced the night away and looked very happy. I was so proud of them both and how far they had come. It wasn't the easiest relationship seen as how Rose almost put Emmett in the hospital a few times. She didn't like to be told what to do. But Emmett loved to push her buttons. In return, she punched his buttons, hard.
Everyone was starting to leave. I knew it was time to try and find a ride. I was not about to ask Edward for a ride home. As I was leaving the ladies bathroom looking for a ride, I over heard him and Tanya having it out, about me.
"Why Edward? She is nothing compared to me. You don't need a girl. You need a real woman to take care of you. I know what you like and can make you very happy." She was all over him and it was disgusting.
"Tanya, we have had this conversation more then once. We are friends but nothing more. It was a mistake what happened between us. Not to mention three years ago. I was drunk and apparently on something to want to go home with you. Listen closely, my answer is and always will be, no."
I couldn't help but smile. Crap. I didn't want to still have feelings for him but who was I kidding. It didn't matter what happened between us. My life was no longer here, no longer with him. I had a life somewhere else where I am happy.
I walked over to Rose and Emmett. They looked so happy. I wanted that one day. I just knew I had to be patient and it would come soon enough.
"Hey there my Maid of Honor! How did you enjoy dinner?" Rose came over and we walked to a quiet corner to talk. She could always tell.
"It was great. Mom was well behaved and so was Dad. Did you threaten them terribly?" We both starting laughing knowing our parents could get out of hand with the simpliest wrong thing said.
"No, I did not. I simply told them that they had to be good or they would never see their grandchildren." I gauked at her and she just rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me like that. You know how they are. I had to take things into my own hands unless I wanted to have a screaming match at my wedding."
We started laughing uncontrolably. Everyone was looking at us, but we are the only ones that wil ever understand how crazy our parents are.
"Are you ready to go?" Edward was now standing smiling at us. I smiled back, kissed my sister goodnight and left with him.
I had been looking for another ride but thought maybe I could be the bigger person and be nice to Edward this weekend. I mean it is only for a weekend. This shouldn't be too difficult.
We got into the car and things were quiet. Not awkwardly quiet, nice quiet. It was comfortable. I smiled when thinking about all the drives we had taken in that very car.
"I know you are dying to get home but would you be willing to go somewhere with me. It's only 9pm and I promise you won't be home too late." He looked like a kid that was asking permission. It was hard for me to say no to him when he looked like this.
"I really should get home. I have some work I need to catch up on before I call it a night and I need to be up early to help Rose with last minute errands." I needed to get away. I was feeling 16 all over again. I didn't want to feel 16. I wanted all of this to go away.
"Yeah, I understand," he said quietly. We pulled up to the house and before he could say anything, I wished him a goodnight and went into the house. I needed air and the only place I could get that would be by the ocean.
I changed clothes and as soon as my sneakers were tied, I was out the door. I practically ran to the water. I needed to think of all the things that had happened in the last 24 hours. Edward had reappeared in my life. I was heart broken thinking about not seeing him after this weekend. It is for the best to not see him when I get home. Not sure who I was trying to convince, I decided to call it a night and get some sleep.
The next day, we all were up at the crack of dawn. Rose had a laundry list of things that needed to be done before the bachlorette party tonight. We had to pick up our dresses, the flowers, bridesmaids' gift, make sure the church was right, etc.
By four o'clock, I was ready to drop from exhaustion. So I decided to try and lay down before we were going out for our night out on the town.
"Oh Bells! Aren't you so excited for the party tonight?! I cannot wait to go out and get trashed," Alice came bouncing into the room.
"Oh no! We are not gettting trashed with the wedding being tomorrow. We have too much we have to do in the morning. Alice, we have to be adults tonight. We cannot act like we are 21 and go wild." I gave her the scariest look I could muster up. I knew it wasn't going to work on her; it never worked on her and that is how I always got into trouble.
"Yeah yeah. We will have a great time you will see. You never know, we may even find you a man." She laughed as she grabbed some of my clothes and left the room.
It was already six and was now time for me to get up. Damn you, Alice Marie! So I decided it was a lost cause to go back to sleep and just got up. We were going out to dinner with the girls, having drinks with the mothers, then going off to the club for dancing and trouble.
Anytime we get together, there is always a fight, someone crying, someone getting laid, and someone drunk dialing. I tried to leave my phone at home but the girls said it was better to have it with me in case something happened.
We had dinner at Olive Garden, then drinks at the Rose Club. This was an upper place where older women came to get away from their rich husbands and talk about their boy toys on the side. And for that reason my mother loved it. She was having a ball tellling everyone about the new clothes that her Paul has bought her. Then in the next breath, she would be talking about how Phillip could satisfy her. I had to keep a drink in my hand just to keep from punching her in the face.
It was now 11:30 PM and the mothers were just now calling it a night. I knew that Rose wanted to be in bed by 1 AM. We had to get the party started if we wanted to have any dirty fun.
We kissed all the mothers and aunts goodbye. As soon as the car was out of sight, Rose, Alice, Jessica, Sarah, and I grabbed the car and went to the nearest gentlemen's club. As soon as we got there, the girls spread out looking for who or what they wanted. Sarah and Alice wanted a drink, Rose and Jessica wanted a dirty dance and I was left alone.
We came to a gentlemen's club because Rose said if she kissed someone, Emmett would be less angry if it was a hot woman. We all laughed and agreed. After all, you do what the bride wants to on her last night of freedom.
I walked around to just get the feel of the place. I have only ever been in a strip club once. It was my birthday and I wanted to see what the hype was about. Nothing happened at all. I sat and watched a few girls dance then left out of boredom. But this time it was different. There were a few guys that were looking at me but no one that caught my attention.
I was sitting just having a drink, when a man walked over and sat down at my table. I didn't look at him because I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. I wasn't here to meet anyone. I was just here to keep an eye on the girls and get them home safely. I promised my dad I would be the mother hen of the night.
He finally turned to me and said, "Not to sound abrasive, but I would much rather have you dance for me then any of the girls in here."
I couldn't help but smile. "I am sure you meant that as a compliment, but I strongly suggest you walk away before I break your smile. Have a great night."
He got up but looked back, called me a stuck up broad and walked to another table. Jackass. Thinking that I would be interested in a prick like him. I sat there for a few minutes more. It seemed like all I could think about was Edward. Damnit! The guy across the room even looked like him.
Holy crap! It was him!
I looked more closely and saw Emmett and the other groomsmen. They must have had the same idea as us. I went over to the bar and pointed them out to Rose. She couldn't be happier to see them. She nearly jumped on Emmett saying how much she missed him. Everyone decided to mingle and have a few more drinks before we called it a night.
"So, see anything you like?" There he was. Dressed in jeans and a button down shirt looking fine. Damnit! He was not fine. He was an asshole and I needed to keep my self in check.
"You know as a matter of fact, I did have my eye on a nice red head. She seemed to remind me of someone but I can't put my finger on it. " I knew it was a low blow, but I needed to keep my distance. "Excuse me, I'm not feeling very well."
I left the table and went to the bathroom. I just stood there and could feel myself starting to relive that night. I had done so well to not go there but it was all coming in waves. The red hair. The screaming. The crying. I couldn't help it when I slumped to the floor. That night ruined me. And he was the very reason.
When Edward and I were in high school, we were best of friends. We went everywhere together. I was so in love with him. He was the very reason I opened my eyes every morning. I needed to tell him how I felt but was so scared it would ruin everything. When we were 15, he gave me my first kiss; when we were 16, he asked me to be his girlfriend; when we were 17, he asked me to prom. We had spent all our teen years together. I went on family vacations with his family; he snuck into my room when my father was at work late.
We were inseparable and thought it would never fade. When we were in our senior year, a new girl named Victoria moved to town. Being in such a small town, it was a big thing to have new meet on the block. She had fire red hair, a great personality, and a body to match. Every girl wanted to be her, every guy wanted to date her.
Except my Edward. He was so in love with me that he never knew she exsisted. That was simply not going to fly with Miss Perfect.
The night of the prom was the best night of our lives. We were having the best time and i knew that Edward was going to ask me a big question tonight. We had talked about moving in together after graduation and getting married after college. We knew that our parents would think we were too young, but we knew what was right in our hearts.
I couldn't wait to be alone for him to ask me. I was more then willing to give him the rest of my life. But that soon changed.
Edward had left to get the hotel room ready while I stayed behind and had a few last dances with Jacob and our friends. After I was tired and knew that he had been gone a while, I decided it was now or never. I was nervous but who isn't their first time.
I went to the room and as I was turning the corner heard few voices.
"Oh Eddie! I cannot wait to get in this room and get out of these cothes!" It was Victoria Mason. She had been after Edward for years. For some reason, she thought they should be together and did everything in her power to split us up. Tonight it had seemed to work.
I continued to walk around the corner and saw Edward open the door to our room. I stood there. Still as a statue. I couldn't speak. I couldn't cry. I couldn't breath.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the water on the shore close to my house. I don't really know how I got there or how long I had been sitting there when Jake arrived. He heard I left the prom and when no one knew where I was, he came straight here.
He grabbed me and just held me. I woke up in my bed with him snuggled on the floor.
"Jake. Jacob. Jacob, wake up!"
"Hmm what? Oh hey! How are you feeling?" He came and sat next to me. It looked like he wanted to hug me but was afraid I would break.
"I'm ok, but hungry. Can I get cleaned up then we get something to eat?"
"Yeah, Bells. I just need to ask. What happened? We were all having fun and the next thing I know, you disappeared. No one knew where you were. After I thought about it for a few minutes, I knew where you would be. We always went to the water when we were kids and felt lost." Jake looked at me with such a sad face. I really loved him. He always had my back no matter what.
I started to cry. While he held me tight, I told him everything that I saw and heard. He never said a word. He didn't have to. I looked at him, told him I would be ok, and that was that.
Edward tried to contact me for weeks after. I never spoke to him or told anyone what happened. When asked what happened, I would simply smile and say we grew apart. There were a few people that would ask for details and I would deny them.
This was something that was going to take me a long time to get over and I didn't want to have to hash it out 20 times telling everyone. So I went on with my life. I went to school then came home; that was all I did.
After a while, I got up and walked out the door. Apparently, everyone had started looking for me. I explained to everyone that I wasn't feeling well and was calling it a night. Edward was standing to the side, leaning against the wall.
I started to walk out the door when I heard, "Please Bella. Don't shut me out again."
I stopped in my tracks. Did he not know? "That was what you did Edward. You shut me out and chose someone else. That was your choice. Now I have the right to make the same one." I never turned around. I just kept walking.
"After all these years you owe me an explaination!" He was now standing in front of me. "I loved you and you never told me what happened. You just disappeared from my life. I deserve to know why!" He was now red in the face and breathing heavily.
"What happened that night after you left? Think about it. I saw you. I saw you walk into the room, our room with her. I saw you kiss her. You had me fooled. You wouldn't know what true love was if it slapped you in the face!" I was now screaming at him.
I felt the world start to spin. "If you will excuse me, I'm going home. I don't feel well and you are making it worse. Just let me go," I whispered that last part. I needed to be free from him.
I walked around him and kept walking. The cool air felt good but the more I walked, the sicker I felt. Did he think I was stupid? I knew everything that happened because I was there. All I knew was I needed to get home and in my bed. There I was safe.
I called a cab to come and get me. I knew it would cost a little but it was worth it to not go back into the club. He was there and I knew there was no way for me to face him. I heard a car pull up and thought it was my cab. When I looked up, Edward was walking to the passenger side to open the door.
"What are you doing?" I asked him bluntly.
"I am giving a sick friend a ride home. Is there something wrong with that?" He looked so smug.
"I already called a cab and they will be here soon. So you can just go back to the club for your next dance." I was throwing all I had at him and it didn't seem to be shaking him at all.
"Look, on a Saturday night, a cab is going to take an hour minimum. And you look like you are getting worse by the minute. So either get in the car or I will put you in the car. The chose is yours. But either way, you will end up in the car."
"You wouldn't dare." I gave him the meanest look I could muster. He stepped towards me and was about to touch me. If he touched me I would feel the spark and I couldn't let that happen.
"Fine! I can at least get up on my own. I'm not a little girl. I can stand on my own." I got up and got in the car. I sat as close to the door as I could get. I didn't want to be in a small place with him right now. I had too many memories flooding back. If he touched me, I would break. I promised myself after that night, he would never break me again.
I must have fallen asleep on the way back because before I knew it, I was being woken up. I looked up and thought I must be dreaming. Edward was looking at me like he used to when we were kids. There was such a love in that look that it made my heart melt. It had been years since I had last seen that look.
"Edward? What is going on? I don't feel well at all." The world was spinning and there was no way I could walk. I couldn't let him touch me or I would never survive it.
"Bella, I need to carry you in the house. Unless you think you can walk," I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I can walk. Sheesh," just as I said it, I feel to the ground. He bent and carried me to the house. I was going to put up a fight but was getting very tired all of a sudden. I felt sleepy but so warm and safe. I fell asleep and didn't know anything until the next day.
I woke up feeling much better then I had, but was so thirsty. I started to go downstairs to get something to drink when I heard a few people talking.
"I think one of the guys at the bar spiked her drink. I was worried that if I let her out of my sight something awful would happen. I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was more concerned about making sure she was ok."
"It's ok, Edward. I know what she means to you," it was my dad. "We aren't blind. I see the way you look at her. I'm not really sure what happened all those years ago and I'm not sure I need to know everything. But one thing that is clear, you never stopped loving her."
I shifted on my feet and the board squeeked. I knew they heard me and there was no way I could stay hidden. I stepped forward slowly and tried to smile. "Hi."
Edward rushed to my side and helped me sit down. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything? I could get you something to drink. You should probably eat something too soon."
"Edward. Just breath. I'm ok really. My mouth is just super dry. I would love a glass of water."
My dad looked at me and smiled. "Don't say anything, old man. I know what you are thinking and that ship has sailed." He just shrugged, mummbled about going fishing, then left.
That was the great thing about Charlie, he didn't hover.
Edward came back with a huge glass of water, some pills, and a sandwhich. "Here, these will help with the cotton mouth and the headache. The sandwhich will give you a little something to eat without hurting you too bad."
He looked like a little boy; so innocent and sweet. As I stared at him, I recognized the boy that I fell in love with. As I caught my breath, I realized I had gotten really close to him. I blinked back to reality and went to stand up. He grabbed my hand and went to say something but I stopped him.
"Edward. I know what you are about to say and I can't talk about it right now."
"But Bella, I need to ask you," he stopped when I started yelling at him.
"No! You don't get to come back here and do this! You left me! You went to bed with her! You don't get to make excuses as to what happened and belittle what you did to me. We are done. Forever."
I stormed out and tried to keep breathing. I was so afraid I was going to pass out. I needed to get out of there and clear my head. Before I knew it, I was running to the very spot that reminded me of him.
I got there and just collapsed. I was so heart broken. After all these years, he still has this power over me. I am so in love with him and I'm afraid that will never go away. He was behind me. I could feel it even before he spoke.
"You are right. There is no excuse for what happened. But I need to give you the events from my point of view. I am not trying to make you forgive me, I am simply trying you to understand."
I ket staring out at the water. I felt him move closer and closer until he was sitting next to me. I couldn't look at him. I just wanted to run but knew for the first time that I could get some real answers. I took a breathe and tried to prepare myself for what happened.
"Bella, I'm adopted." I looked at him. "What? Carlisle and Esme are your.."
"Uncle and aunt. I found out that night. Let me start at the beginning so you will completely understand. After I left you to go to the bedroom, Victoria walked up behind me and tried to make a move. I told her it was never going to happen. She was crying and said that she knew that. Her date tried to take advantage of her. But because she was drunk, instead she threw up all over him and her dress. He threw her out of the room and locked her out.
She came to me and asked if she could use the shower. I said that was all and if she tried to make a pass on me she would regret it. Once she was in the bathroom to clean up, I got a call from Esme. Carlisle had been in an accident. I tried to call you but realized that your phone had been left at home with Rose, due to her covering for where you were staying that night."
"I remember that. When I woke up the next morning Rose told me that she saw the accident on the news. But that still doesnt explain..."
He looked at me finally and said, "Im not done. I got to the hospital and he was pretty bad. They asked if I could give blood because I was his son and it was easier to get it from the family. I didn't know my blood type so they found out. I couldn't give blood because I wasn't a match. I confronted them and the told me the truth. My father got my mother pregnant when she was 16 then bolted. They took her in and in childbirth my mother died."
I scooted closer to him. I couldn't touch him yet but being close felt like it was the best comfort I could give him at the moment.
"I went to a dark place. I left. Bolted. I didn't take anything with me. Just disappeared. I really scared them. Everyone. I found my father. Saw him with his new family, big house, new wife, and new son. I went crazy. I beat the shit out of his truck. He came out with a bat, but when he saw me dropped it. I look just like him, ya know. All he said was he was sorry. After that, it just seemed to snap back into place. I realized where I was and came back home."
He looked so ashamed. I looked back to the water. I didn't feel better but it did seem to explain what happened. "Edward, I.."
"No, Bella. It doesn't excuse what I did. I came back home and made things right with everyone. I tried so many times to reach you. But everytime I would think it was the right time, I would see you out with friends smiling and laughing. I thought that you had moved on. I loved you and thought that you were better without me. I was so ashamed so I just let you be."
"I didn't need you to let me be! I needed you with me! I just needed...YOU! You left me! People who love each other don't do that."
I stood up and started pacing around. He left me. Everyone seemed to do that. He was the one person I thought that would never do that.
"I'm so sorry, babygirl."
"Don't. Don't do that. You don't get to say those things and think that everything is better now. Just because this explains things a little more doesn't mean that they way you handled things were right."
"Bella I never said that. Gosh, you are so angry! Is it really me you are angry at? Or the fact that you think Victoria got to me first?"
I stood frozen. He knew he made a mistake. "I'm so sorry. Oh, Bella, thats not what..."
"Stop! NO! I am not upset that I thought she got to do things with you before I did. I was upset because I loved you and I thought you loved me too. And that is what two people do when they are in love. YOU are the one that left ME. THIS is NOT my fault!"
I screamed so loud I was huffing and started to walk away. How could he say that? This had nothing to do with her. It had everything to do with him and how he treated me. I was so heart broken when he left me.
"Bella, wait! I'm sorry! Please don't walk away from me!"
I whipped around without even thinking. "Why? Because that's what you do? Well guess what? This time, I get to be the one to walk away due to hurt and pain."
I heard him yelling after me, but I couldn't do it anymore. He hurt me. Broke me. Again.
I walked to the house, went upstairs and cried. I cried for me, Edward, Calisle, his mother, and his father. They were all so broken.
I woke up the next morning with a new view on things. Maybe Edward and I could work through this. The things that he told me did not excuse what he did. But they certainly explained the reasonings behind those years. I'm not sure if we can be the way we used to be, but we can ry to be friends again. That would be a good place to start.
I started getting ready with the girls. This was Rose's big day. Whatever was going on between Edward and I would have to be put on hold. She was too important to me to focus on anything other than her today.
We got to the church early enough to make sure everything was beautiful and in order. Rose and I finished getting ready and were sitting together before the ceremony was about to begin.
"I love you," she said with tears in her eyes. She looked at me with so much love it made my heart break.
"I love you too. You can be a pain in the ass, but you are the best sister anyone could ask for. Emmett is a great guy but he is so lucky to have you. I mean that. He's great but you make him better."
Rose and I had never been very vocal with our feelings. Since our mother left, we felt we had to be strong for Dad and each other. I grabbed her and hugged her so tight. I just needed her to know how important she was to me. After all the emotions I have been having with Edward, it was nice to not question my love for her.
"Ok girls. It's time." We turned to see my dad standing by the door looking sharp in his tux.
"You clean up nice, Dad! Maybe we should have a wedding once a year." I smiled and walked out the door before he could respond. As I turned to make sure the girls were lined up, there he was.
Edward was leaning on the door frame in his tux looking like a god. Man! He sure knew how to make a girl swoon. He looked up and smiled. Crap! He knew exactly what I was thinking but I couldn't let him get too close.
I lined the bridesmaids up with the groomsmen and realized someone was missing.
"Looking for me?" There he stood in all his glory.
"You are supposed to be in line with Emily."
"Nope. I am best man. That means I walk down the aisle with the maid of honor. You."
CRAP! He had me and I couldn't change it. We were starting.
"Fine. But I swear you better keep you hands to yourself. I have pepper spray and I know how to use it."
"Yes ma'am," he said then winked at me.
I grabbed his arm and we started to walk. I kept my eyes to the front so I wouldn't be tempted to look at him. But I could smell him, and that was just as bad.
I made it to the front, finally. He squeezed my arm then ushered me to my side. I looked up and saw sadness in his eyes. He was feeling everything that I was.
The music started to play. I could see my dad walking, then suddenly I saw Rose. She looked breathe taking. Most people look at the bride because she is such a vision. However, I have always liked to look at the groom. It is in that moment that you can see his love radiating off him towards his soon to be wife. As I looked at Emmett, that is just what I saw. He was smiling but had tears in his eyes. There was love, pride, adoration and surprise all in his face.
I glanced past him and saw Edward looking at me. What I saw, stole my breath more then Rose and Emmett. He was looking at me the way Emmett was looking at Rose. Only there was one more emotion I could see.
Shame.
He was ashamed of how he had been, who he was and how he treated me. Most people would never be able to see all that with only one look. But I had known this man for most of my life. I could tell what he was thinking before he ever said a word. That's how it is when you care for someone. Love someone.
The ceremony was beautiful. It was simple just like the bride and groom. We walked down the aisle after the kiss. I could feel my heart beating faster then it had in a while. I felt all the emotions that I had tried so hard to hide for years.
We went to the hall for the reception but I couldn't go in just yet. I walked around back and just sat there. I knew that Rose would be missing me but it was starting to get real again.
Before I knew it there was an arm around my sholders. I melted into my dads arms. I always felt so safe with him.
"You love him. I don't know why you are trying so hard to convince yourself that you don't."
I looked at him about to question how he knew, when he smiled. "Honey, when you look at him, it's as if you are finally breathing. I know that feeling. I had that with your mother. She was my best friend and lover. But we were too young and too stubburn to make it right. You have her heart but you have my stubburness. I know you love Edward. I don't think you ever stopped loving him. But love only waits for so long before it moves on."
Just at that moment we looked up and saw my mother laughing with her new husband, Paul. She had remarried about 3 years ago. Then I realized that my dad had that same look that Emmett did. He still loved my mom, but he was man enough to let her be happy with someone else.
"Oh daddy! I just don't want to be hurt again. It was horrible. I don't think my heart could take it."
He kissed my forehead, hugged me, then said "Well kid, you might just have to tell him that then. But I can tell say that you will regret it if you give up. Love doesn't do that."
He walked inside and I could see Rose and Emmett dancing like fools. They looked so happy and that is all I wanted. I wanted to be happy and feel loved again. I wanted...Edward!
I went inside looking for him. I got caught talking to relatives. Man, I just needed to find him. Aunt Ruby, Cousin Lisa, Uncle Bill...where was he?
I turned down the hall and there he stood. He was walking out the door with a girl from the wedding. She whispered in his ear and he started to laugh.
No! Not again!
"Edward! Edward, I love you!"
He stopped in his tracks. He looked back to see who had yelled at him, but I could see he knew it was me. He looked scarred as he scanned for me.
"Edward! I love you!" I shouted again. Then I took off. He was not getting away. I wasn't about to let him go again. Whoever she was, I didn't care.
He started to run to me. We met each other and just stopped.
"Hey. Are you ok? I thought I heard you say..."
"I love you. I'm so sorry for everything. I love you. I know this might be too late, but I just needed..." He cut me off with his strong kiss. He grabbed me and kissed me harder then he ever had in the past. I kissed him back with as much love as I could muster. He needed to know that I loved him.
"That is what I thought you said." He took a step back and looked at me. His hand was stroking my cheek but holding me so tightly.
"I'm so sorry. I was scared.."
"Shh. It doesn't even matter anymore. Isabella, I love you more then life itself. I am never letting you go again."
Like fools we stood there and just kissed. I could hear people in the background but it was all just noise. Here I was in Edward's arms again.
I am never leaving these arms again.
The End