Just the Tips
[Royal Palace of King Saul- Israel, circa 1020 BC]
King Saul was shocked at the appearance of the young warrior. Dried blood and gore stained David's armor. Sweat soaked the warrior's clothes and matted his wild unkempt hair.
Saul waved off his guards as David moved with great urgency and knelt at the foot of the throne. In his hands, David offered a small wooden box.
"David, what is the matter, what have you brought me?" King Saul took the box.
David proudly proclaimed: "I brought you the foreskins of 200 Philistine warriors, my king!"
Saul's face lost all color; he glanced worriedly at his advisors. "Did… did you say foreskins?"
David nodded expectantly. "You are surprised my Lord?"
The king opened the lid. The box was filled three inches deep with shriveled bits of flesh. Saul quickly put the lid back on.
"I… I am surprised," the king admitted. "David… uh… have you been feeling alright lately?"
"Yes, my lord, I feel exceedingly strong! I have slayed the enemies of my king on the field of battle and cut off foreskins for the glory of His Majesty!"
The king glanced at his advisors. Again, the advisors had nothing helpful to say.
"David… don't get me wrong; I do appreciate you killing the Philistines… but could you… perhaps, clarify why you're collecting a box full of foreskins?"
"My lord," David said. "I wish to marry your daughter. Two hundred foreskins are to be the bride price, my king!"
Being the king of the Israelites was never easy. On the one hand, David was a popular, brilliant, charismatic soldier and a warrior without equal. But on the other hand, Saul had never heard of a man trading his daughter for a box of foreskins. And he couldn't begin to fathom what he was supposed to do with them. What did David have in mind, some kind of disgusting necklace? Would he expect him to wear it? Did other kings have these sorts of problems? Saul stroked his beard as he thought.
After a brief pause, Saul decided his course and smiled at David in a gentle, fatherly way. "That is very… thoughtful, David, and I am pleased. But I'm sure you are battle weary and want to get cleaned up, so why don't you run along…"
David bowed and left the king's chambers.
As soon as David was gone, King Saul turned to his most trusted advisor. "Have somebody watch that man!" Then he jabbed a finger toward the royal scribe. "Don't you dare write any of this down!"
… But alas, it was not so (1 Samuel 18:27)