Heyy guys! This is my own story. It's completely my own creation. I'm not finished with writing fanfics but...i wanted to upload something fresh. So please read it! Tell me if it's good! Love Love Rawwrrr x

The Collins English dictionary defines a life as the period of time between birth and death. Politically, this is correct. Personally, this is crap! I never had much of a life. My parents died when I was at the tender age of thirteen. That was four years ago. Not really affected me much to be honest. They weren't very good parents. See, I was the forgotten child, the one always left in the corner, the last to be considered, the one hidden in the dark. And it's all because that I wasn't the apple of my parents eyes. Maybe they didn't completely ignore me…I'm still alive, aren't I? But, I mean that I wasn't Ben. My older, obedient, pain-in-the-ass brother. Who now is my legal guardian. (Well, at least for the next 11 months.) Okay, I know I'm being picky! The guy's not all that bad! I mean, I'm not exactly teen of the year. I've been in and out of hospital more than any hypochondriac that you know. It was just last year that I was placed on suicide watch.

You see I'm what they call a cutter. Well, I was what they call a cutter. I used to self-harm to relieve stress, feel pain, punish myself for my parents death and eventually just for fun. Nothing too serious! My wrists, my thighs, my stomach. Just places that I could cover up. I didn't want to get caught! Ben made it clear that if he did…I would end up is some twisted crazy shop for the suicidal. But, as I said, I never had much of a life. I was brought up as a pastor's daughter, with a subservient gossip mother. My grandparents were dead before I was born and I had no aunts or uncles.

I do have siblings however! Four of them. Three brothers and one, lonesome sister. Krista is the oldest, and my only sister. She took myself, Tyler and Kyle in when our parents died. She was living in DC at the time, and became legal guardian. That was until Ben, the second child, was named legal guardian in my father's will. (Yes, I did say my FATHER'S will!) Then we all hitched back to Beverly Hills, LA. Don't judge! I didn't pick the house. Kyle is possibly the best big brother ever. He's the typical middle child. Always looking for attention. He's not a very good role model but I adore him. He's always at parties. Constantly drinking away his trust fund. He's not wise like Ben who invested his trust fund in some kind of business (he's the CEO now). Then there's Tyler. My idiotic little brother! Just like Kyle is the typical middle child…Tyler is the typical little child. Annoying, aggravating and downright Tyler. There are no words for it.

And then there's me. I'm not your typical perfect cheerleading type chick. Even if I do live in the Hills. I'm more of your scare the ass off of you if you double cross me type chick. I guess you could say that the inspiration for my "screw it" attitude is Krista. What was I supposed to do? She's my big sister! I had to take an example! She was my deity. She was disobedient, disruptive and, most importantly, fun. She, like myself, was ignored by my "loving" parents. I was stupid for following her lead. I was often beaten because of that. To my pastor father following Krista's rocky path was worse than any "crime against God" that I committed.

Thankfully none of my siblings have turned out like my parents. Krista is dating a black guy. Not that I'm racist…my dad was. Ben has done so many drugs that I'm surprised the guy can still walk in a straight line. (He doesn't do them anymore) Everything that Kyle does is against any rule my father put in place, and Tyler has been stealing money from Ben since he was seven. I, well I'm just a foil to everything that my father believed in. No sex before marriage (that went out the window at the age if 14…in the toilet of a Wendy's), no alcohol – ever (again, out the window!), no drugs (I think you're getting the picture). The list goes on forever. And you all thought I was the perfect, little, tanned, blonde haired, blue eyed, cheerleader from LA.

I know I'm not perfect but neither are my friends. They're just as bad. Christopher, my best friend / ex-boyfriend, and his twin brother, Jayson, are physically abused by their dad. I know…you're like 'whoa'. It's a little shocking, but none of us can really help it! Their dad's like an ex-marine or something. He's a giant, and a very strong one. Tanya, another friend, is addicted to cocaine. She started about two years ago. Let's just say she can't get through a full day of school without it anymore. Just like the twins…we can't help her. She's totally private about it. It's like a taboo subject with her now. Hannah, my best friend since I was like two, is anorexic. (You can guess what I'm gonna say now.) We. Can't. Help. Her. We're a regular group of psychotic losers. We're the "un-loved".

So whatever path my life takes in the future. Whatever path it took in the past. Whatever path it's taking now…I'll never know much. But I do know that one thing will always stay the same. I'll always be me. I'll always be Ashley Carmichael.

You like it? Yes? No?...Please give me some reviews! Is this worth writing? Thanks Rawwrrr x