Hello! I don't really know where the idea for this story came from, but it starts at the end of Hell-o, covers the events of The Power of Madonna and then goes on from there.
I assure you it's NOT a Rachel/Will story even though those are the two characters selected, that's just because this fic is about these two dealing with their own sperate dilemmas and how the stories are interwoven. There's a touch of Puckleberry, so fans of them will like this, along with anyone who thought injecting the goddess that is Idina Menzel into Glee was genius :)
Anyway, I think I'll stop blathering on and just let you read it! There'll definitely be a second chapter and possibly a third, but I'd love a quick review if you can spare a minute to tell me what you thought of the first part. Thanks and I hope you enjoy!
Donna xxxx
Chapter One - That Old Chestnut
"Okay, guys, are we all ready for the run through?" Mr Schue entered the auditorium to see his club members all assembled on stage facing Rachel, who sat at the piano and had just finished playing with a flourish.
"Rach, you done getting everybody warmed up?"
"Yes, Mr Schue." His star student beamed, "Everyone's vocal chords are in good shape and I've finally got you all breathing correctly." The other members smiled - as much as they didn't like to be bossed around, they had to admit Rachel was the expert here and she had helped them all improve immeasurably with her warm-ups and daily vocal exercises.
"Except for Finn." Rachel's expression turned cold as she glanced at him, "His breathing's still far too erratic and he was the only male who didn't hit his high B just now. Shame..." She raised an eyebrow as the basketball player's face fell, and Mr Schue saw it.
"Well, I know you've got it in you, Finn. Good job, buddy." He smiled encouragingly at the boy who was so like himself, "We'll start the run-through in a sec, guys, I just briefly need to talk to Rachel first." Puzzled, the brunette made her way to the front of the stage and bent down to talk to her teacher.
"Rachel, I haven't said anything to you personally yet, but I've heard quite a bit from Finn and the other Glee clubbers about you and a certain Vocal Adrenaline member? Now I went and had a... talk... with their coach," He swallowed, feeling his spine tingle at the memory, "And she says there's nothing untoward going on, but I just want to tell you now I really don't think it's a good idea to get too involved with him. I know that they are one of the most competitive-"
"Mr Schuester, you needn't continue." Rachel held up a hand to stop him, "I called it off with Jesse just yesterday, I understand now that it wasn't in the best interests of the team for me to be in his company any longer. And as painful as it is, I'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness if it will help us get any closer to Nationals."
"Oh." The Spanish teacher was a little shocked, "Well, okay then, Rachel, I think that was very mature of you. Fraternizing with the enemy is a mistake at the best of times and you just don't know what ulteri-"
"Okay." Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, bringing her hand up a little more forcefully this time, "I understand, Mr Schue. Now if it's alright I'd like to get back to the group, I wouldn't want us to lose any more key rehearsal time on my behalf." And, her expression a little pained and her bottom lip wobbling dangerously, she strode to the back of the stage and took her position even though the rest of the group were still milling about.
Will sighed, making his way to a seat halfway up the auditorium, "Okay, everyone!" Silence fell as they took their formation, and on his call of "From the top!" The opening notes sounded.
"You say yes... I say no..."
Finn was off and away, and Rachel joined in to belt out the end of the line. Will frowned as he scrutinized her performance - Although she was note perfect, as always, something was missing, her usual energy, the way she lit up the stage with her evident joy, and (for want of a better word) glee, had been replaced by a pained, almost terrified looking expression.
He felt a little bad. Of course he had appreciated the irony in his words as he told her not to fraternize with the enemy, when just a week ago he himself had been frantically, passionately making out with Shelby Corcoran, their rivals' head coach. Will would be lying if he told himself he hadn't enjoyed it, if he hadn't known exactly why he'd done it... But still, it was hardly professional, and what he did tell himself was that it would not, under any circumstances, happen again. Well, not under any normal circumstances. I mean, he thought, say I happened to run into her again and-
Oh, god. His thoughts of his bad deeds had lasted almost the entire song, and they were nearing the end now. He seriously needed to pull himself together and start focusing on these students. He glued his eyes to the stage and watched as the pupils paired off as part of the dance routine, the leads in the centre of the stage. Finn reached for Rachel's hand, and while the two usually embraced these intimate moments of the songs, he noted she barely allowed her hand to touch Finn's fingertips, a miserable look in her eye as she refused to look at him. Three pairs of eyes were on Finn, however, and those were the eyes of the cheerleaders, Brittanny and Santana, along with Quinn Fabray. Meanwhile Puck, currently standing next to Mercedes, was looking intently at Rachel as he sang, as though trying to work something out.
Will almost audibly groaned. Sure, they sounded as good as ever, but his club, who he was so proud of, was looking painfully disjointed and mismatched on stage. It was although the unity he knew they'd felt after Sectionals had died down, and the huge splits down the group were becoming ever more apparent. He needed to try and fix them, and he was never going to be able to do that if he continued like this - Which was exactly why he wasn't going to be making out with Shelby ever again. Probably.
As the song drew to its conclusion, Will was starting to worry about Rachel, and seemingly rightly so. The music abruptly ended, and instead of dropping her head like the rest of the team, Rachel stayed standing stock still, her eyes flitting backwards and forwards and her face conveying utter misery. And as she stumbled from the stage, yanking her hand from Finn's, Mr Schue noted the tears streaming down her cheeks.
The Spanish teacher, along with nine members of Glee, turned to look directly at Finn, who looked as shocked as the rest of them. A concerned expression on his face, he made a move to follow her - before something happened that absolutely no-one could have predicted. Noah Puckerman, his face set, wordlessly stepped from Quinn's side and grabbed Finn's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks, before darting out of the auditorium in Rachel's wake.
If anyone had asked Puck why he'd followed her, he wouldn't have been able to answer. Well, in actual fact he most likely would have fixed a cocksure grin on his face and announced something along the lines of: "I'm a stud, dude! Everyone knows a vulnerable, crying chick is like gold dust," but he wouldn't have meant it. Truth be told, he wasn't sure how he knew exactly where to find her, either.
But find her he did, sitting on a wall by the school gates and looking down at her pink cell phone, unmoving. Puck sat down on the wall beside her, leaving a good couple of feet between them, and muttered a small "Hey."
"Hi, Noah." Rachel replied, her voice equally as small, wondering why he was there but also a little too caught up in misery to really care.
"You, um... Do you need a ride home?" He offered, simply for want of something better to say.
"No thank you." She said with a polite smile, "I've just spoken to my dad and he's coming to get me."
"Oh, sure." Puck said, swallowing and feeling like a total idiot, "You, um... You wanna make sure you're not sitting on any gum or anything. I'm pretty sure that stuff would be a bitch to get out of plaid."
"Thank you for the consideration." Rachel said, still not too sure why exactly he was here, engaging in conversation with her, "But I checked before I sat down. My skirt is safe."
"Cool." Puck felt a little weird talking to her, like he didn't really know where he stood. Sure, they had 'dated' for about a week a good couple of months back, and after that they'd got on amicably in Glee club. They had been far from friends, but they could hold a conversation and he hadn't slushied her... But then the Quinn stuff had kicked off, and even though Noah knew he should really hate Rachel for blabbing to Finn, he found it hard not to kind of respect her. Saying that, they hadn't said a word to each other since then, not out of spite but simply because they'd had no reason to. Until now, when he'd randomly decided it would be a good idea to follow her.
"So Rachel, I kinda get that you're all het up about Finn and whatever, but truth be told, the guy's kind of a douche. I wouldn't worry."
She looked at him through her eyelashes, wondering where that had come from, "Um... Thanks? I guess it's just all been getting to me a bit recently. Glee, and Jesse, and Finn..."
"Like I said. Finn's an idiot. The dude arranged a date with Britt and Santana while he was still with you, and that's so not cool."
"Says the guy more opposed to monogamy than anyone I've ever met!" Rachel, despite herself, gave up on wondering how the hell she'd gotten herself into this bizarre conversation and snorted at his remark.
"Hey, hey, I'll admit I get around, but all my girls know it ain't exclusive and they're cool with it. Finn was supposed to be with you, like officially or whatever."
"Noah, I saw you at three different intervals today flirting with a different Cheerio each time before Quinn dragged you away."
"Well, yeah." He rubbed his head, just above his eyes, "Quinn Fabray. That old chestnut." Was it just her, or did Puck sound a little bitter?
"What exactly is your situation with Quinn?" Rachel queried, "I'm curious because I was under the impression that she-"
"Blew me off?" He put it bluntly with a small smile, "Yeah, she did. And I felt kinda relieved, too, I mean I banged her that one time because she was drunk and she's hot, but I don't really wanna spend the rest of my life with the girl. I mean, I only asked her because of the baby, really."
"So..." Rachel tried to work it out, felling a tad lighter as she focused on someone else's problems rather than her own, even just for a moment, "She declined your offer, but then...?"
"But then started acting like we were freakin' engaged, yeah." Noah admitted, "It was like a couple weeks after Sectionals when she started up the flirting and the whole possessive thing, even though we're not actually even goin' out."
"I see her..." Rachel paused, eyes to the ground, "Looking at Finn." She shifted slightly in her seat, a little uncomfortable.
"I see Finn lookin' at her, what else is new?" Noah responded quietly, and Rachel looked at him, really looked at him properly and was still quite unable to understand how they'd come to be talking things out, things that didn't even concern the other one, on a wall in front of the school.
"I'm determined to get over him, you know." She said, "But he's not exactly making it easy."
"You'll get over him." Puck said, "You'll be over it pretty darn soon. Might even go as far as to say you already are."
"And what exactly do you mean by that?"
"Well, Rachel, I don't wanna sound harsh, but... This kinda happens to you a lot." At her lack of a response other than a firm glare, he dared to carry on, treading carefully, "Like, two days after Finn dumped you, you were already psyched about this Jesse dude who looks something outta Baywatch, and suddenly it was all about getting one over on F-"
"Noah, I'll have you know that what Jesse and I have... Had, is-"
"Kinda exactly like what you had with Finn?" He finished for her, and she looked outraged, but to hell with stopping now. He'd started and he had a point to make, but more importantly he had nothing to lose, "A relationship based on the fact that he was the first guy you saw after Finn ditched you, and that he can recite every song from Wicked in the correct order?" Rachel swallowed, feeling tears coming to her eyes for reasons she was quite unsure of. And for the first time in a very long time, there were no words she could lash out with, defend herself with. All she could do was listen as Noah continued:
"Rachel, you claimed to like Finn from the beginning, but you put up with him being with Quinn, and you being in "love" with him never stopped you makin' out with me for a week, claiming I was all that mattered to you. Then there was that whole creepy student teacher thing you and Mr Schuester had goin' on - and yes we could all totally see that happening - and then you were over that and all lovey over Finn. But the second he breaks up with you, you go find yourself some nancy boy and act all heartbroken when you can't be with him..."
"Noah, what exactly is your point? Is this you trying to be of any help, because I'll tell you-"
"My point is, is you just... You just claim to be in love with so many different people, but so briefly, that it kinda gives the impression you... Well, you can't really be in love with any of them at all. Things don't work out with Broadway boy and the next day you'll be obsessing over some other poor idiot like the rest of 'em never existed!"
Rachel blinked, her mind whirring with everything that he'd said, trying to digest it, and she could barely get a word out. She supposed she had moved on from Finn a little quickly, but only because Jesse had seemed so perfect and she wanted everything to be ok with him. And to prove a point, obviously.
"Do you love Finn, Rachel?" Puck looked a little thoughtful now, his voice softer as he studied her and his intent face making her a little uncomfortable, "Or do you just love the idea of him? Because seriously, babe, Football player turns singer and acts as knight in shining armour to stupidly talented but invisible hottie? Totally clichéd and if I'm honest, a little lame. You're too cool for that, Rachel."
Rachel spluttered, partly in indignation but partly in total disbelief, "I'm sorry," her lips curled into a small smile, "It might be my imagination, but it sounded for a second as though Noah Puckerman just called me cool."
"It was your imagination." He clarified, smirking before a more serious face took over once more, "But just think about it."
Rachel knew that she would, and there was a slightly awkward silence for a few seconds before she got over the part of herself that was angry with him for saying everything he had. "Can I ask, Noah... Why did you follow me?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I just know that it sucks when you've got the whole club on your back. You never judged me after the whole Quinn thing when everyone else did and I suppose it was good having someone who didn't blame me. Plus, I knew I'd probably be of more help than if I'd let Finn follow you out. The guy changes his mind like..."
"A girl changes clothes?" Rachel finished for him, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah," he laughed, "But, hey, you can't talk." She frowned slightly at him, not only because she really, really didn't want to lower herself to taking advice from Noah Puckerman, but because she realized that he could have a point. Very luckily, at that second, a car approached and she recognized her father's number plate.
"Well, I have to go now. Thanks for making sure I was okay, Noah." She began to walk away as he called:
"No problem. And Rachel... Are you?" She looked at him over her shoulder, and wrinkled her nose slightly,
"Oh, I will be, eventually."
It was Thursday, a whole week later, and things still weren't looking up for Will. He hadn't admitted it, but he had been over the moon when Emma had told him she intended to sleep with him, he had finally thought he may be able to have a somewhat normal relationship with her rather than having to tiptoe around her literally all the time.
He shouldn't have got his hopes up. Because once again, she had freaked out, spouting the old "too much too fast" line and making Will feel, once again, like this was a bad idea, like he was spending all of his time with Emma having to soothe or comfort or help her, and it really wasn't working out. Which was probably, probably the reason he found himself back in the auditorium at Carmel High School looking for Shelby. Maybe.
Of course, that wasn't the reason he was going so say to her face when he finally spotted her through the window of a small office backstage, looking tired but fresh at the same time as she sifted through paperwork. Will felt a grin instantly slide onto his face as he opened the door.
"Knock knock." Shelby looked up at him, a glint instantly appearing in her eyes as she took him in.
"Well hello, Mr Cutester. I mean, um, Schuester." She winked at him, a half-smile, half-smirk on her face as she stood up and walked around her desk, leaning on it and folding her arms, "What can I do for you?"
"I just couldn't stay away longer than a week." What was it about her that instantly made him so flirty, so easy to joke with? "Just kidding. I actually wanted to let you know that it's all over between my student and yours, so we needn't worry about them any more."
"I know." She said, "And I also know that that is the lamest excuse for coming all the way over here to talk to me that I have ever heard, William." When Sue Sylvester called him by his full name, it infuriated him. When Shelby did, he found it made her seem all the more appealing. "You could very easily have told me that over the phone."
"Nuh-uh." Will shook his head, "You gave me your number with a direct instruction to call you when I had my life sorted out. And... I think all I've done in the past week is managed to unravel it further."
"So you weren't allowed to call me." Shelby clarified, "That makes sense. Come on Will, talk to me." To his surprise, she promptly pushed most of her mountain of paperwork onto the floor in one sweep, so that she could sit herself cross legged on the desk, prop her chin in her hand and just look at him, waiting. Will could picture Emma's instant heart attack at a brash, mess-inducing action like that, and as much as he hated to admit he found it so much more fun to just embrace this new kind of crazy, shift a few more stacks of paper out of the way and hop up next to Shelby.
"Well..." He began, "I told you about how I started seeing someone after I left Terri? Well, me and Emma-"
"How strange." She cut in, and he furrowed his brow in question as she noted, "All of the women in your life have an 'eh' sound in their names. Terri. Emma. Shelley. Well, I mean you can call me Shelley if you like, some people do, but it rhymes a little too much with Terri, so it's ok if you'd rather not."
"O-kay..." Gosh, did he have something inside of him that meant he was only attracted to women with at least some level of insanity? Still, at least this one made him laugh. "Well, like I said, I started dating Emma right after things ended with my wife, but she has a few... Problems. She likes everything to be a certain way; always perfect; always neat. I mean, don't get me wrong, I care about her a hell of a lot and she's a lovely, lovely person, but... I don't know. It's like I'm never really relaxed with her, you know? I feel like I'm always having to be the one to take care of her, and coming out of a marriage I just don't need that weighing on me."
"Makes perfect sense to me." Shelby studied his face intently with those eyes of hers, "You need someone to take care of you a little as well as the other way around. Someone a little less kooky."
"Now, under no circumstances am I saying I don't do kooky." He smiled, "A little bit of out of the ordinary is good, but just... Maybe a different kind of kooky. Something a little more wild, a little more free, things happening on the spur of the moment rather than always being so meticulously planned, you know?"
"Mmmm...." She agreed with him, still fixing him with her gaze. Will knew he was going entirely against his better judgement by being here, knew it was unfair to Emma to be saying all this to a woman he hardly knew, but there was just that something that made him know he wasn't under any circumstances going to stop.
"I agree." She said quietly, "I think a little excitement and passion is one of the absolute most important things in life..."
Her sparkling gaze moved for the first time from his eyes down to his lips... And Will knew exactly what was coming next.
Truth be told, this past week had been even worse for Rachel than the one before. After her unexpected chat (verging on lecture) from Noah, she had had so many thoughts flitting about her brain, conflicting with each other even more than usual… And that was saying something.
Despite it all, and despite the tiny but growing feeling in the pit of her stomach that Puck might have been right, she had kept it up. She had managed to get through her duets with Finn in Glee and continued seeing Jesse, and although she was confused it had all still been manageable. Until the sex issue had come up. Should she do it? Shouldn't she? Why would she? Why wouldn't she?
Well, there had been two, almost three answers to that question. The first being Finn Hudson, and the second being the fact that she hadn't known Jesse very long at all. And the third didn't count, she told herself, seeing as it was just a tiny, almost muted voice in her head which sounded a hell of a lot like Noah Puckerman and which just told her plainly that it was a bad idea. However, upon seeing Santana Lopez throwing herself at Finn by his locker and him having no objections whatsoever, something had been lit inside Rachel and she had decided to go through with it. She was going to have sex with Jesse St James.
Except, that had been a lot easier said than done. When it had come down to it, the actual deed, the voice which she had tried so desperately to silence had found the volume increase button and been practically screaming at her to get out. And so she had. And now, a week after her talk with Noah and just a couple of days since she'd run out on Jesse, his words were practically all she could hear.
"A relationship based on the fact that he was the first guy you saw after Finn ditched you... You claim to be in love with so many different people, but so briefly, that it kinda gives the impression you can't really be in love with any of them at all..."
Maybe Noah had been right. Maybe Mr. Schuester had been right. Maybe, just maybe, she thought, she had been so enchanted by the idea of Jesse being her knight in shining armour that she had been blind to the fact that he was more than a little arrogant. Conceited. A pretty-boy. Shallow. Insulting, at times... Oh god. It was so wrong that she was thinking about these things, but at the same time she knew she was right.
Which was how, on Thursday evening, Rachel ended up in the auditorium at Carmel High School, where she knew Vocal Adrenaline would have been rehearsing and where she was determined to make this right. It was time to stop lying to her fellow Glee club members, to stop deceiving Mr Schue. To listen, as crazy as it seemed even in her own brain, to Noah Puckerman. It was time to end it with Jesse.
Her mind was made up, her face was set, and nothing was going to stop her. Until, whilst searching for Jesse, she happened to wander backstage and glance into the window of a small office as she passed.
Only to see her very own mentor, Will Schuester, lying sprawled out across a desk as he fiercely made out with none other than the head coach of Vocal Adrenaline.