I screamed so hard on the inside when I noticed that the Koopalings were in Mario Kart 8. Yeah, it took me until I started playing to actually realise it.
Today was going to be a great day.
For the first time in a long while, we were invited to an event that was not organised by our not-father, Bowser. Several years ago, our not-father decided to unclaim all of us save for Junior, automatically making him the heir to the throne (and a lot of stress). We were all shocked of course. Imagine that you have been living all of your life believing that your father is well, your father, and if anyone were to tell you otherwise, you would just laugh it off as a joke. Then, when you are thirteen-years-old, your 'father' calmly says that you are not his child, and walks away as if nothing had ever happened.
Now while I could say that I was amazed at that development, the only thing I had been thinking at that time was, "MY LIFE IS A LIE! SOMEBODY PINCH ME!"
After that I did get pinched, but that is not important.
My not-father was informed that we would be allowed to race in the bi-annual races. This was the eleventh one, the first one being a good nine years before I was born. As little koopas, we had heard horror stories of the 'ancient races', where people fell off cliffs and there was no Lakitu to fish them out, where racers nearly drowned, where Pokeys had landed on people and stayed impaled in their heads for days... I do not want to continue...
As my siblings and I took a leisurely drive towards the finish line inside a car I did not know we owned, our not-father commented, "Kids, enjoy the ride because once we get there it'll be crazy." He still calls us kids even though we are more like his foster children. Seriously, who takes care of seven koopalings for years that actually have no blood relation to you at all?
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Imagine if this had been the Doubles tournament!" My twin brother exclaimed. "You could drive and I could throw stuff at people!"
"Oh, please," our only sister complained, even though he was not even speaking to her. "You couldn't even shoot down the Mario Brothers when they invaded the castle; What makes you think your aiming would be accurate enough to hit a goomba?"
"To be fair, we all couldn't defend our castles. Also, goombas have small hitboxes and you know that. You couldn't hit them either, and your rings cover a much larger area than our fireballs," I retorted. "Umm, the Mario Brothers. Not the goombas," I quickly added.
Our sister was nice when she had what she wanted, but otherwise she was just a spoilt brat. If she did not receive something that she desired, she would throw tantrums and deafen people with a glass-breaking scream. Unfortunately for me, my glasses were made out of glass and not plastic, so it was a wonder that I had yet to require a surgery involving the removal of broken glass from my eyes.
Another one of my brothers snorted and looked at the eldest one. "Yeah, even though you can levitate now, you still got defeated by them."
The blue-haired composer looked slightly annoyed at this comment, but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut. He may have been the highest in army hierarchy, but that would do nothing to stop our other brother from physically harming him. Sure, he was used to it, but he preferred not to get into fist fights with Roy.
Ah, I mentioned a name. I suppose I should, or else the ambiguity could confuse people. Indirectly referring to people reminds me of the time when I stealthily listened (technically I was eavesdropping) to Wendy having a conversation with another female koopa. She must have sensed that I was listening, because she was referring to us by amusing code names such as 'Baked Beans', 'Cauliflower', 'Carrot' and 'Cabbage'. The not-so-amusing part was that I honestly could not tell who she was talking about, so I eventually gave up and slinked away.
Above our heads was a large banner reading, 'Mario Kart 8'. Why Mario of all people? Why not his brother in green, or even us? This was our first time racing after all, and I really hoped that it would not be our last. Personally I did not enjoy the crowd growing silent as we approached them. Although a truce had been called, meaning that they would not try to kill us on sight and that our not-father was not allowed to kidnap the princess, or anyone else for that matter, there was still an air of hostility from many of the Mushroom Kingdom's inhabitants. However, the most unnerving part was when Mario walked up to King Bowser and greeted him without a trace of malice in his voice.
Even though I had no love for places with hundreds of spectators staring at you with their beady little eyes, my twin seemed to be enjoying himself, and that was enough for me. As a little child I had promised myself that anything that made Lemmy happy I would tolerate, since if he lost his cheerful attitude it would be a lot scarier than a bunch of talking mushrooms casually observing me.
I remember the time when Roy had burst his ball and Lemmy had gotten into a fight with him, though he lost due to his small stature. Even with my interference, we both ended up in the infirmary for nearly a week.
Then when we were separated for one of the classes that our not-father had forced us all to take, he had been really sad. I told him it was only for an hour every week, but he would just stare blankly at the screen during the lesson, the teacher's words floating over his rainbow-coloured hair. Finally, our not-father realised this and tried to convince him that he should learn not to rely on me too much, when he just broke down and began crying. Our not-father then called me over and told me to calm my brother down. I walked over and sat next to him. Frankly speaking, our not-father was not good at reading emotions at all. Although he was right about Lemmy's dependence on me for companionship and a lot of other things such as reaching objects on higher shelves, he forgot that it was a two-way relationship. My other brothers and sister told me that I would be unusually quiet and emotionless when Lemmy was down with anything, be it stress, depression, or even the flu. They believed that we would both probably go ballistic should we not be together.
Well, crazier than the usual.
After those events, I made that promise to myself and never broke it, because I had no desire to find out whether our siblings beliefs were true.
I apologise for getting sidetracked. Now where was I? Oh right, I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the silence and started fiddling with my spectacles, when a high-pitched shriek cut through the air. "GIVE IT BACK!"
Roy had taken Wendy's bow off her head, and she was obviously displeased with him. Without it, she was as bald as a bald eagle. I suppose that is why they are called bald eagles. "Wait 'till my father hears about this!" She yelled. This caused Roy to let go of the ribbon with a puzzled look on his face, giving Wendy enough time to pick it up.
"Dear sister... Firstly, we all have the same father. Secondly, who is our father?" Ludwig said calmly without looking up from the book he had been reading. Unable to think of a suitable retort, she turned the other way and let out a soft "Tch."
The awkward silence filled the air once again, and I felt a little unsettled. Only when I heard the voice of my older twin call my name did my fears go away.
"Hey Iggy!" He said. "I wanna ask you a question."
"Go ahead," I replied, confident that I would be able to answer any question he fired at me.
"Don't tell the others I asked you this, they'll think I'm silly," he continued in a hushed tone.
"Mmhmm..." I said slowly.
"If this is the eleventh racing tournament..." he began.
Suddenly, I had the feeling that I knew what his question was going to be. I turned and faced our not-father, speaking his next few words in sync with him.
"Why's it called Mario Kart 8?"
Simply because Lemmy has way too many sad stories.
"Baked beans, cauliflower, carrot and cabbage" - I really have friends who use these as code names for other people.
Also because Lemmy's quickly becoming my favourite character to play with in MK8. I nearly wrote "After all, this was our debut appearance as playable characters!" but I decided not to break the fourth wall and went with, "This was our first time racing after all, and I really hoped that it would not be our last" instead.
Will I ever write something that's not funny? Will I ever give people different personalities? (I think I'm pretty bad at that...)
Similar to "The Boredom Chronicles", the story is in a way written in my perspective but with a character narrating... Meaning that I kind of just gave Iggy and Koishi the same personality. Well, that's weird.