Notes: I don't even like Hagrid. But this was fun.

Stay for Dinner

Another non-productive Order meeting had drawn to a close. Remus sighed as he stepped out of the large gilded door into the chilly January air. He was frustrated. Bode was dead, and the ranks of the Death Eaters had swollen with the recent Azkaban breakout. By all accounts, they were losing.

Yet they continued to argue about inane things. Sirius had made some stupid comment about food that had irritated Molly, and Arthur had spent ten minutes pacifying her. McGonagall had been unusually tense. Snape had accused Tonks of carelessness when her foot caught a chair and she nearly spilled tea on him, and she'd looked about to hex him, the way she had glared. They'd speculated about Bode and offered up dire prophecies, but nothing practical had been contributed in the whole three hours. They were a largely competent group of people, Remus knew, but no one who had witnessed that mess would have guessed that.

He was tired of all of the awkward formalities and unnecessary tension that seemed to abound whenever the Order got together. Something about being part of a secretive society turned even the Weasley twins serious and tense. He wished they would all just treat each other like old friends, instead of flinching at any unexpected noise and feeling forced to grapple for just the right words for fear of ridicule.

He stood, his old shoes nearly covered in the thin layer of snow on the ground, his cloak quivering behind him.

"Oi! Remus!"

Remus turned and suppressed a sigh as he saw Rubeus Hagrid approaching him with his large, uneven gait. He had nothing against him, except that Hagrid had been the one to come up with a few of the more awkward proposals earlier and Remus had been the one to inform him that sending Acromantulas after Death Eaters would likely cause more chaos and destruction than help.

"Yeh're leavin' already? Molly's makin' dinner. Yeh should stay."

"I have matters I need to attend to," said Remus.

Hagrid gave a little grunt as he stepped up next to Remus. "Yeh sure? I know Tonks is stayin'."

Remus was taken aback. "Really," was all he could come up with.

"She fancies yeh."

Remus was very much aware of that. He hadn't been able to avoid the plethora of smiles that the pink-haired witch had sent his way all afternoon.

"Yeh fancy 'er too, don' yeh?"

Remus was silent. The answer to that was a resounding yes. But why was Rubeus Hagrid, of all people, giving him relationship advice?

"I know yeh do," said Hagrid. "She's a lovely witch. One o' my favorite students. You'd be a right fool not ta fancy 'er."

"Mmm," Remus assented.

"Stay fer dinner, then," said Hagrid.

"I just don't want to rush into things," Remus said.

"An' why not?" said Hagrid loudly. "Where else ar' yeh goin'?" Yeh got a bunch o' other lasses waitin' fer yeh? Are yeh a big ladies' man?" Yeh're a werewolf, yeh know."

"Yes, I'm aware," said Remus tersely. "It's not the happiest of existences. It would be selfish of me to drag another person into my own messy life."

"Not if she wants teh be dragged," said Hagrid with a smile.

"No one would ever want to be dragged into this, given the choice," said Remus. "She'll come around. She doesn't know what she'd be getting herself into."

"I think she bloody well knows," said Hagrid. "Tonks en't stupid."

"Of course not," said Remus quickly. "She's just not fully aware of what my … predicament means. If she were, she'd distance herself like any other intelligent person. She is very intelligent, and she'll pull away very soon."

"Yeh're not givin' her enough credit, Lupin. She knows what yeh are. An' yer not givin' yerself enough credit either. She loves yeh. Why don' yeh let 'er?"

His bluntness was unnerving. "She's attracted to me. That doesn't mean she loves me," Remus said. The feeble words were a poor rebuttal.

"I seen the way she looks at yeh," Hagrid said. "She loves yeh. And I know yeh love 'er too."

"If I did, it would be far less cruel of me to let her go," said Remus. "All I can do is hurt her."

"Yeh're gonna hurt 'er more if you ignore 'er," Hagrid said, almost as if it were a taunt.

Remus looked away from him. How was he supposed to explain to him what the real problem was? He was a monster. He could pretend to be as human as the rest of them, but that day every month proved otherwise. The twenty-nine other days of the month were hardly better. He had so much pain, and so much anguish. He couldn't turn around and dump all of that on someone as thoroughly radiant as Tonks was. She deserved to carry around those burdens far less than he did.

"She doesn't deserve me," said Remus. "I'm a burden."

"Yeh en't a burden," said Hagrid, clapping him on the back with so much force Remus feared for his spine. "Yeh wouldn't be here if yeh were a burden. She'd be good for yeh."

"But I wouldn't be good for her," said Remus.

Molly Weasley stepped outside then, her perfectly neat apron fluttering in the breeze; and, of all possible people, she was the one following her, asking her a question about something, Remus couldn't hear. Her hair was a pink-tinged violet today, cropped short and spiky. As Molly continued her long-winded answer, Tonks glanced over at him and smiled. She looked nothing short of beautiful in the gentle winter sunshine. Remus had to stop himself from gaping.

Hagrid looked down at him and winked. Remus ignored him and continued to watch the scene. Tonks turned her attention back to Molly, who was looking up at the sky. Remus could make out about every other word. She was saying something about snow.

Molly stopped speaking and waited for Tonks' nod of agreement before leading her back inside. Tonks turned and winked at Remus before following Molly.

"Jus' stay for dinner," Hagrid said.

Remus had to admit that this was the best suggestion Hagrid had made all day.