Kim-napping

"Sixty-nine thousand, sixty-nine thousand and one, sixty-nine thousand and two…" Senor Senior Sr. was contentedly counting his money while enjoying a drink at his private bar in his private yacht. He had been toying with the idea of devising another evil scheme, but couldn't quite think of one at the moment, so he gave up, assuming that it would come to him sooner or later. Just then, Senor's phone began to ring. Rising from his expensive barstool with a seat made from the foreskin of a Beluga whale, he proceeded to answer.

"Hello? Senor Senior Sr. speaking."

"Hola, Senor! This is Dr. Drakken. Yeah, it's real cute that you think you're so evil, with your plans to kickstart the fur trade by genetically modifying trees so that they grow apples shaped like baby seals, but why don't you leave the villainy to the REAL baddies? "

"Young man, I am just as evil as you are, and the fact that find it necessary to insult me so, implies that you are feeling more than a bit inadequate in your own villainy!"

"Whatever, old man! Go change you Depends and take a nap! "

"What insolence! I will have you know that I have more evil in my right testicle than you do in your entire body!"

"Well then PROOVE it! Why don't you KIDNAP KIM POSSIBLE?"

"Why don't YOU kidnap Kim Possible?"

"I think I WILL! Just try and stop me!"

*click*

Irritated, Senor went back to his seat at the bar, figuring he should just ignore Drakken's childish remarks. Suddenly, his face lit up in inspiration. "Just try and stop me, he says." Senor thought out loud. "I think I shall take him up on that challenge! For what could be more evil than to upstage another evil plan!" Rushing back to the phone as fast as his geriatric legs could carry him, Senor dialed the number of one of his millionaire friends. "Hello Demitri? This is Senor. Do you still want to sell that assault helicopter?

That night Kim Possible was getting ready for bed. After putting on her favorite pajamas, Kim slipped into bed, turned off her lamp, and snuggled under the covers. "I'm soooo glad it's Friday!" She thought. "I don't have any missions either! I have the whole weekend to myself!" She rolled over onto her stomach, unaware of the strange blue mist pouring in from under the window. Even if she had noticed, she would have been out cold long before she could identify it as sleeping gas. With Kim incapacitated, a robotic arm unlatched the window and grabbed her, placing her inside its hollow body. The robot raised its invisibility shields, and flew off down the street.

When Kim awoke, she found herself chained up above a giant vat of bubbling green toxic waste, wearing Princess Leia's slave costume from Star Wars episode VI. On a platform next to the vat, was Dr. Drakken, laughing like a stoned hyena. Next to him was a mechanical crank connected to the chain holding Kim aloft. "I have you now Kim!" Drakken shouted menacingly. "After dropping you into this toxic waste, I will be free to do as I please! Even, RULE THE WORLD! Oh and you can start screaming now!"

Just as Kim did exactly that, something suddenly smashed into the wall of Drakken's lair. When the dust and debris cleared, Drakken nearly poo'd himself at the sight of an assault helicopter, ready to fire its weapons at him. The helicopter unleashed an onslaught of painful metal fury directly at the platform Drakken was standing on. Some of the bullets of fury hit the crank holding Kim's chain, knocked it into the water, sending her plummeting down towards the toxic waste. Just then the pilot of the helicopter swung out on a rope, catching Kim before she fell in. Amazed, Kim looked up to see the face of her rescuer. To her surprise, it was Senor Senior Sr.! Landing on a platform opposite the one Drakken lay twitching on, Senor turned to Kim and said, "We have to swing back over the vat in order to get back to the helicopter, so just hold on real tight and you'll be just fine, Sweetie!" Kim wrapped her arms around Senor's neck, and held on as they went sailing across the vat once more, like that scene in Star Wars episode VI with the Sarlacc pit, except there was no Sarlacc and they didn't have to kill Boba Fett. ANYWAY, Kim and Senor safely made it to the other side of the vat, climbed up the rope and into the helicopter, and flew out into the night.

Later, Senor Senior Sr.'s helicopter arrived in front of Kim's window, magically not waking up anyone on the street, because that would just mess this part of the story up. The door opened and Kim jumped out onto the ledge. "Thank you for saving me, Senor! You're not such a bad guy after all!" Senor smiled and said, "Oh, you never know Kimmy! I was going to kidnap you back from Drakken, but I think you have had quite enough kidnapping for one day! Now go to bed and get some sleep. You just might have to stop one of my evil plans tomorrow!" Kim was just about to jump down from the window into her room, but instead she climbed back into the helicopter, and gave Senor a kiss on the cheek. "Good night Senor." she said sweetly. Kim jumped back down into her room. Senor lingered by the window for a while as Kim got into bed before flying off back to his island.

Shego walked in to Drakken's lair carrying a bag of groceries. "I got the toothpicks you wanted Drakken, but I couldn't find the Preparation H! You'll just have to keep using lubric- Hey! Were you making Jell-o again?"